blas12345
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2017
- Messages
- 17
- Reaction score
- 5
- Age
- 35
I've been following dating advice for a while now, being ultra-conscious about AFC behavior and improving myself to avoid it as much as I could but I keep having trouble with the expression "spinning plates"
Reason being, I've been dating several women with varying results, and I can't never seem to find myself comfortably saying "I'm spinning plates".
9 months after my LTR and I decided to move over monogamy to open relationship, here's my dating experience so far:
She was hot, super cute, sweet and fun, and really seemed into me. For which I couldn't help develop oneitis, which brings me back to spinning plates:
The best way to avoid oneitis is to keep spinning plates right ? Well, the problem is that after 9 months I really didn't have any more plates to spin, except for my ex-monogamy-girlfriend with whom I have an open relationship now. While I enjoy this kind of relationship much more than what we had before, being the only one is far from being my ideal.
Which brings me to my final points:
Thanks for the input.
Reason being, I've been dating several women with varying results, and I can't never seem to find myself comfortably saying "I'm spinning plates".
9 months after my LTR and I decided to move over monogamy to open relationship, here's my dating experience so far:
- Dated 9 different women in total
- 1 started out weirdly as she had a boyfriend, kissed several times before deciding it was a terrible idea, but surprisingly enough it turned out to be to this day, an excellent friendship (no LJBF BS here, it was all mutual agreement)
- 1 was a one-time great-sex hookup that I wished could have continued, but she showed no interest thereafter, despite spending an entire weekend. tried twice, stopped pursuing.
- 4 of them did not get a second date by own decision. Same thing in common: BORING AS HELL, TERRIBLES AT CONVERSATION. they were not the hottest either.
- 1 super hot one, lasted about a dozen dates, spread across 4 months... sex only twice, and wasn't that good. Always super busy, or "have to get up early" to stay over. I was too hung up on her looks on this one, not paying attention to her cold and frigid personality. she was an ex model and beauty contest winner, so cut me some slack on this one
- 1 super cool girl, not that hot, started out too much on a friendly vibe. no idea what her attraction is at this point, we're going on a second date in two days but I sense having trouble escalating with this one as I am not sure either I want to pursue this sexually myself.
- 1 super cute, super cool girl with whom I had great conversations, a great first date, and a hookup on the second date, but just LBJF'ed me after ghosting me for 2 weeks; during our hookup she brought up "maybe" not being fully ready and there was this other guy she was seeing from much longer also being an issue... so kinda seen it coming
She was hot, super cute, sweet and fun, and really seemed into me. For which I couldn't help develop oneitis, which brings me back to spinning plates:
The best way to avoid oneitis is to keep spinning plates right ? Well, the problem is that after 9 months I really didn't have any more plates to spin, except for my ex-monogamy-girlfriend with whom I have an open relationship now. While I enjoy this kind of relationship much more than what we had before, being the only one is far from being my ideal.
Which brings me to my final points:
- I had no trouble getting dates, but it's been impossible to keep a balance between getting enough dates, work, social life and personal hobbies (see next point)
- The dating experience with all these women over these 9 months has been incredibly TIME CONSUMING and just EXHAUSTING.
- I've been quite picky in the process, in an effort to avoid wasting my precious time, yet 4 out of the 9 women I dated, I did not want to see again. Which in turn made me even pickier.
- The rest I dated are either in the past, or are far from anything sexual at this point
- How the hell do you guys "spin plates" yet succeed at having a life and not have it affect your work AND hobbies of your own ?
- How do manage not getting demotivated after having spent so much time in being rejected and/or not finding it easy to get any quality women?
- How picky are you, really? Do you date everything that has a vagina? if not, how the hell can some of you claim to have 10 different dates in a month? It just seems mathematically impossible to me.
- After failed attempts with those you liked, how long did it take you to comfortably be able to say "I'm spinning plates"?
Thanks for the input.
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