How often do you hit up your plates after smashing?

[spiegel549]

Finally smashed this new plate. HB8 23yr old brunette. Took a few hang outs to get it. So she spent the night Saturday, took me for breakfast sunday.

So today I haven't hit her up. She hasn't hit me up. She usually initiates. So I wanna keep this as a potential bang buddy plate and see where things go.

Usually I won't hit them up the next day but what do you guys think? Stay silent on my end and get her wondering?

Un like my usual bang and not care plates I like this one. We share a lot in common. I think I am overthinking this lol. Thoughts on reaching out?

 

[captain55]

I never text a chick after I smash, I always call her.

As for why she's not calling you who knows man. Could be a lot of things....maybe you were in ****ty in bed, maybe your **** was too small, maybe you were great in bed and she's just waiting for you to call her back, maybe she has a bf...just call her

 

[Dgwizdal]

Give it a week. She'll reach out. Guaranteed.

I have a plate that only hits me up when she wants to have a good time - about once every 2 weeks. She doesn't get a damn thing from me.

 

[Bingo-Player]

In this situation it’s tough , your emotionally invested and every last remaining beta voice in your head is screaming for you to reach out to her

DONT

This is the first test of many to establish whom has the most control ,who cares the most if you will

The key here is that YOU are in the driving seat , she’s given her golden bargaining chip ( her p*ssy) up she cannot offer you anymore , THAT is all you wanted at least at the moment

You need to her to believe that as far as your concerned business is complete

I agree with dgwizdal 99% certain she will reach out by the end of the week

 

[LMFAO]

After sex you now have the upper hand in the relationship.

9/10 she will contact you first. Usually happens the very next day with them telling you how good the sex was. She WILL contact you it's only a matter of time.

 

[stevo]

It's funny how the ones you like almost make you forget or throw away your game.

Treat her like you would any other plate.

When thoughts come up, apply the thought scenario to another plate (if plate B did this. . ) and decide how you would have treated the same scenario (with plate B) then apply that decision to the plate you have feelings for.

That's the way to keep you in check as you continue DJing.

 

[spiegel549]

Im glad I have you guys to remind me and put me in check. It is funny when you like a chick how your normal game can be thrown out.

We had sexx Saturday night and again Sunday a.m. she kept kissing me every red light we hit on the way to breakfast Sunday morning. She even paid for breakfast and was talking about taking me to this spot etc. After she left she hit me up first Sunday, we had a light funny convo then it ended.

Monday came she was MIA. I ended up texting before you guys wrote me. I gave in at 430pm and said "hey what u up?" she hit me back at 930pm and said "hey i'm ok just chillen and you?" I wrote back "I'm heading home. how was ya day?" no response.

Now its tuesday 230pm and nothing. She usually is the one to initiate. Am I over thinking this? I just find it wierd to be silent on her end after a weekend like that.

Stay silent? Btw. I will be seeing her tomorrow. She works at a section of my job. I bump into her once in a while.

 

[Meisterman]

I would contact her when I want to smash her again. Otherwise I wouldn't at all until then. Let her reach out to you first.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Spot on Meisterman. Leave the cheesy "how was your day" crap for when you've been in an LTR with her for a while.
Only communicate to tee up a meeting for sex. If she's passionately interested in you, she'll hit you up with all the mundane convos and eventually push you for exclusivity.
And my rule is: if you see her more than twice a week, she's your girlfriend.
In my sarging days, I reserved Sunday afternoons for seeing plates in rotation. Sometimes Saturday afternoons if my schedule required and that left me free to go out on Saturday nights to seek new plates.

 

[RangerMIke]

If this is the first time you've banged her, you should call the next day. Do not mention the hook-up unless she brings it up. Just act like nothing has changed, a little small talk no more than 15 minutes, and tell her you'll call her later.

 

[Zarky]

I generally text 'em the next day saying I had a good time. Unless of course I didn't and I don't want to repeat the experience.

Never had a chick bail or anything because of it. Who knows? Who really cares? If the chick is basing her future interactions with you on the timing of a text, then there are bigger issues at play than the timing of the text. If that makes any sense.

 

[spiegel549]

Guys I am losing frame. Please snap me out of it. I am catching feelings for this HB plate and I know I am gonna fuk it up.

Bumped into her at work yesterday on her day off and mentioned going to grab dinner when I was off and she was casual and said "If I am around I am gonna be running around etc." she lives 30miles from work so makes sense if she isnt gonna be waiting for me to get off work.

When I called after work she texted me and said "hey I'm not around im at xyz" which is far from me.

I said lets do dinner later tonight. she said "thanks but I can't tonight" I said no worries xyz blah joke. she laughed and called me cute.

Saw her today and I don't know why I am losing my mind. Feel as if I am losing the edge but no fuking clue why I am acting like a little biotch.

Please talk sense into me. Have not been like this in forever...shhhit

 

[Dgwizdal]

why did you ask her out right away when you bumped into her? Should just said a few playful words "Hey trouble maker..." about the other night and then "Play your cards right and maybe we can do it again..." Then let her reach out to you. It hasn't even been 4 days.

Stop sweating her and keep it light and funny. No reason to take her out to dinner like a f*ckin boring beta. Get your mind on something else and FORGET ABOUT HER until she initiates.

 

[Greasy Pig]

You're getting desperate and needy and she's pickung up on it. For fvcks sake be cool and give her some space.
You e made your intentions clear. The ball is definitely in her court now and if she's interested she'll reach out to you when she's ready.
In the meantime, go ghost for a while and seek new plates to cure your oneitis.

 

[Zarky]

I think he already f*cked it up.

Lemme ask you, OP, the golden question: How many other chicks are you currently f*cking?

I'm guessing zero?

 

[Bingo-Player]

Pig & zarky are correct

Shes picked up on your desperation and its dried her up

Ive had experiences in the past where women have actually gone on to hate me because of my BETA actions after ive fvcked them

I dont know how many times it need to be said on this forum

Chicks will pick up on a change in frame before you even realise what’s happening

Just because you have fvcked it dosent change anything , infact by this point you should be firmly in the driving seat

You need to keep composure around women and that means having the ability to walk away at any given point you are way too emotionally attached to this chick now

 

[LMFAO]

You sound as desperate as fvck. It's also wrong to have invited her to dinner. You should be inviting her to her place or your place to fvck her again. Nothing more nothing less.

Anyway, you've gone far enough. Now all you can do is no contact and see whether she does anything.

 

[spiegel549]

Guys seriously thanks for keeping my azz in check. Now regardless of what I wrote in her eyes I have still been cool and smooth with the whole scenario. I never broke character it was more me thinking this **** but not giving in and showing that side to her just for the record.

She ended up hitting me up Tuesday with a inside joke. Last night we got right back into the usual flirty texting. Me making indirect sexx jokes etc her laughing and sending me winkie faces back ok fine. Left off teasing her about her looks that she was "alright" haha. She ate it up.

Saw her today at work and she was all smiles and happy to see me.

I have played it cool all day. Now I talked to a friend iv known a long time today. Naturally a killer with women. He put me in check. Please tell me if you agree.

Since from day 1 I have done all the inviting out, the leading, telling her what were doing etc. Since we finally banged a few times over this past weekend my boy told me now its HER turn to hit ME up to get together.

Stop texting if she doesn't reach out first. If she does keep it light and flirt but do NOT ask her out again.

Should I play it this way? Day 1 she likes me leading the show. Change up now?

Thoughts pls. Appreciate it brothers!

 

[Zarky]

Please tell me if you agree.

Since from day 1 I have done all the inviting out, the leading, telling her what were doing etc. Since we finally banged a few times over this past weekend my boy told me now its HER turn to hit ME up to get together.

Frankly I think the time for her to reciprocate is pretty much right away -- as soon as you start dating. A woman who doesn't bother to think up things to do, or invite you out, or initiate phone calls or anything like that is usually one who's either completely passive or quite uninterested.

Yes, some women expect the man to do all the work, always. I avoid those passive types because they tend to be princesses. They think it's "the man's job" to do all the work and they just show up. I despise that mentality in women.

But if she's reciprocated with other guys in her past then it's likely she's "just not that into you." I avoid those types as well, because it'll end badly for you.

One of my basic tests of a new girl is: does she pick up the ball sometimes? Does she get off her ass and do some legwork in the relationship? If not, you can bet that you'll be pulling all the weight throughout your relationship. And your resentment will grow.

Unfortunately, once you're in as far as you are, it's pretty late to try to reframe and expect her to start calling, asking you out, etc. You gotta do it within the few few times you get together. Let her know it's 50/50.. she's gotta chip in with the ideas and effort. Gotta set that frame right away or she'll be lazy and think that you're her chauffer, valet and personal assistant.

 

[spiegel549]

Frankly I think the time for her to reciprocate is pretty much right away -- as soon as you start dating. A woman who doesn't bother to think up things to do, or invite you out, or initiate phone calls or anything like that is usually one who's either completely passive or quite uninterested.

Yes, some women expect the man to do all the work, always. I avoid those passive types because they tend to be princesses. They think it's "the man's job" to do all the work and they just show up. I despise that mentality in women.

But if she's reciprocated with other guys in her past then it's likely she's "just not that into you." I avoid those types as well, because it'll end badly for you.

One of my basic tests of a new girl is: does she pick up the ball sometimes? Does she get off her ass and do some legwork in the relationship? If not, you can bet that you'll be pulling all the weight throughout your relationship. And your resentment will grow.

Unfortunately, once you're in as far as you are, it's pretty late to try to reframe and expect her to start calling, asking you out, etc. You gotta do it within the few few times you get together. Let her know it's 50/50.. she's gotta chip in with the ideas and effort. Gotta set that frame right away or she'll be lazy and think that you're her chauffer, valet and personal assistant.

Couldn't agree more.

So heres the question. Its Friday. I have been controlling the when we get together frame by always asking her the day of if she wants to come over. So should I

A) Ask her to get together this weekend or

B) Wait and see if she brings it up like "what u doing this weekend?" etc

Which is the better move at this point?