How nice are you to fatties?

[OnTheWayUp]

On Friday night I went to a house party with about 20 friends of mine from university. It was a great night, but something that happened raised a question which I've been discussing with my male friends.

I was hanging out with a fat girl, (I would rate her a 1; she's friendly enough but absolutely huge) an HB6 who has a bf already but who's quite entertaining to talk to, and a male buddy of mine. As my buddy and me made as if to leave the party (we went on to a club), we determined that the girls didn't want to come with us. However, the fat girl's friend asked me if I wanted to go dancing with them some time. I said sure (I'm out a lot anyway, and not with the sole purpose of getting laid) and thought nothing of it. To me they're both friends.

Later that evening, my mate took me to task for being too nice to the fat girl. He said that fatty's friend was probably trying to set her up with me, and that it was unfair of me to do to fatty what girls often do to guys: lead her on.

I disagree for the following reasons:

1) I feel a DJ should treat everybody with the same degree of respect, regardless of gender or looks. When you open sets, you talk to the whole set, not just the most attractive girl in it.

2) I've read in the Mystery Method and elsewhere that if you're nice to the less attractive girls, the more attractive ones will think: "Why is that guy being so nice to that ugly girl? What does she have that I don't?" Such thoughts are alleged to make a more attractive girl pursue you more.

3) I have no intention of leading this girl on. If we were out together (which would only ever happen as part of a large group) and she tried to make a move on me, I would have to be honest and tell her that I think she's cool, but I'm not attracted to her.


What do you guys think? How nice should a DJ be to fatties/ UGs?

 

[Tiguere]

You can't be toooo nice. Some of them are agresive... They be dancing on their own in clubs giving you the eye in the most obvious way. Yuck!.

One time I got drunk and started dancing with one until she grab my crotch. I left her on the dance foor. Felt violated.

 

[Fuglydude]

I've made a lot of money off of fatties over the course of my stripping career... so ya I was nice to em haha! Today, I'm hooked up, so I don't care, got nothing against em... so still nice to em. Its kind of a karma thing for me, treat others the way you'd wanna be treated.

Onthewayup, I agree with how you acted... just make it obvious that you have no sexual interest in that girl though.

 

[bilboteabaggins]

I have had a nasty warpig on my trail for the past 2 months, I mean bad, to the point of screaming out in public in front of 25 people how bad she wants to bang me, I mean she is a 0, not even a 1, horrible "I am hot" personality, thinks she deserves male models, guys like me who have slaved and suffered everyday of their life the past 2 years, she does nothing but sit around all day long and eat, she has more rolls than a thanksgiving dinner table, just yuck

anyways, I have been as polite as possible with her, never told her off, never done a thing, I will talk to her when she speaks to me, she constantly asks me for favors and I tell her no, just completely indifferent, some alphas and DJ's would prolly go as far as to say I have took too much **** from her, allowed her to dis on me etc., I just ignore it all......and wouldn't you know it, she has 2 cute friends, one of which I am gonna try and score a BJ from(she is crazy about me, about a 5.5) and the other may take out a few times and see what happens(she really digs me as well, a 7), remember this when interacting with fatties, they usually always have friends around

 

[Gray The Prince]

Starting my junior year in HS, a lot of fatties hated me for some reason. Now, as a College Freshman 98% of fatties hate me for no reason. The more muscle I put on, and when i got rid of most of my acne, they start hating me even more and more.

Lol, I usually try to be nice to them, but they always give me the evil eye.

 

[Htienvu]

Should be nice to everybody, they're human after all! Fat/Thin, Beautiful/ugly they're all people. I respect you for treating everyone the same, don't let your friends tell you how you should act. Just as long as you're being yourself and not leading anyone on.

 

[f283000]

You should treat everyone as you want to be treated HOWEVER it doesn't help your social proof to be seen hanging out with fatties and uglies.

Another thing is that fatties talking to you is usually a sign of you REEKING OF NICEGUY-NESS.

When you get a lot of fatties/ugly girls talking to you is because they see you as a nice guy who won't shut them down and ignore them as opposed to the bad boys/jerks who you will see hanging out with the hottest girls but never with a fattie.

These girls know their place. They won't talk to a bad boy as he is likely to treat them like crap but they will talk to you because you look like a nice guy.

I see this is a leak in your game that all men need to fix. I get criticism for this view but frankly it's just the truth. The type of girls that you attract are the type of girls that your game deserves. If you got whales approaching you to talk rather than hbs 7-9 that is never a good thing.

If you got fatties approaching you rather than hotties you got a leak in your game. Fatties only talk to guys they see as "approachable" but you want to be a guy that is out of their league like they see bad boys being out of their league.

 

[handle]

They're like anyone else as far as I'm concerned. I can't speak on the clubbing situation: I could see it being an issue when the fatty is next to you in the club, blocking your game. But if you're at a party or whatever you just talk to them like any other person. Someone who posted before was right -- it's weird and just plain disrespectful to be obviously sidelining some girls because they're bigger. And people are put off by it. You don't have to spend the whole night talking to someone you aren't attracted to, but just chat with them like you would anyone else.

 

[bluenorther]

There's one fattie that I'll do (almost) anything for: she's besties with my lovely top (ex)client, the one everybody said I should be dating.
My top client and I had a stupid falling out some years ago, but her fat friend still wanted me to work for her. I consider that to be a very good sign, and I feel like I'm waving it in the other one's face.
They're an interesting pair-- one is sweet and caring, and people adore her, but she has NO life outside her work. It's hard to imagine having an intellectual conversation with her. The fattie is the exact opposite.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

I am always friendly with fatties, but I NEVER initiate any physical contact except a hug goodbye or hello.

Most of them have pretty serious delusions and/or attitudes because of their situation. The cool ones know that friendliness isn't the same as interest, and those at the fatties I'd even make friends with.

 

[1 Bad Dude]

It's the guy that acts differently to different girls that gets labeled the "creeper." When you're rude/cold to less fortunate and/or less valuable people, girls notice. Especially the hot ones. When you engage a group, be sexual with all the girls. I learned this the hard way. I got tired of fatties and UGs trying to take liberties with me cause I was universally engaging. SO, I starting acting cold thinking they'd get the hint and move on. Thinking the hotties would see that I was decisive and focused and want me more. Well, I was wrong, The fatties and UGs moved on sooner but so did the hotties.

You can ignore there calls, ignore there texts, even give them wrong contact info. Hell, you can block them on fakebook, but DO NOT treat them rudely or act cold face to face in public. Unless they're being a b!tch.

Bottom-line: Treat all girls the same. Only exception are female family members - they get special treatment.

 

[bilboteabaggins]

You should treat everyone as you want to be treated HOWEVER it doesn't help your social proof to be seen hanging out with fatties and uglies.

Another thing is that fatties talking to you is usually a sign of you REEKING OF NICEGUY-NESS.

When you get a lot of fatties/ugly girls talking to you is because they see you as a nice guy who won't shut them down and ignore them as opposed to the bad boys/jerks who you will see hanging out with the hottest girls but never with a fattie.

These girls know their place. They won't talk to a bad boy as he is likely to treat them like crap but they will talk to you because you look like a nice guy.

I see this is a leak in your game that all men need to fix. I get criticism for this view but frankly it's just the truth. The type of girls that you attract are the type of girls that your game deserves. If you got whales approaching you to talk rather than hbs 7-9 that is never a good thing.

If you got fatties approaching you rather than hotties you got a leak in your game. Fatties only talk to guys they see as "approachable" but you want to be a guy that is out of their league like they see bad boys being out of their league.

thats not entirely true, I have both approaching, this warpig I speak of wouldn't even take a chance at me for weeks, was scared to death, sent multiple people up to me to talk for her, flat out told them to forget it, there are some psychos that do not play by the rules and will approach anything they want, this fatty now tells everyone how big a ******* I am now, prolly why her friends took interest LOL

but you are true in a sense, in the future I am blowing them off hard, don't want to deal with this sh!t ever again

 

[horaholic]

If they're cool, Im nice to them, and if they start getting touchy, I just smile and give them a nice, but FIRM "Stop" or "No" Usually works, without being a prick.

 

[ArcBound]

Fat people are human??? Jk. I'll talk to them normally but I sure won't go out of my way to find or talk to them.

 

[manonfire]

all cute girls have fat friend. i act nicer to the fat girl then the cute girls cuz often times they are the gatekeepers.

 

[Zarky]

Interesting discussion. I usually treat all women with respect (except for the super-hotties that I'm usually a d*ck to, for seduction reasons). In fact, generally the less I'm interested in them, the 'nicer' I am to them because I'm not running game and I'm generally a pretty decent guy to my fellow living creatures.

HOWEVER, I can see the other side in this situation: since most guys are fairly rude to ultra-fatties, could it be considered "leading her on" if you're just a normal and decent person to her? Interesting theory, I'll have to think about that.

To put it another way, is it fairly expected that men will have their own "b/tch shields" up when they're interacting with a fatty? I'd be curious to live in a fat woman's shoes for a month to see how men treat her. I expect that women get used to being treated a certain way and it's only when a man (or men in general) begin to treat her differently that she notices.

For example, the recent interview with Paulina Porizkova where she talked about how men treat her less and less kindly with every passing year.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

Very good discussion we've got going on here, guys. I'm particularly pleased that we've avoided what very often happens on SS: some guy posts about a problem he's facing in his game and almost everyone gives him exactly the same advice. I find it interesting that the opinions of the guys on this site diverge in exactly the same way as the divergence between me and my friend.

Another thing is that fatties talking to you is usually a sign of you REEKING OF NICEGUY-NESS.

When you get a lot of fatties/ugly girls talking to you is because they see you as a nice guy who won't shut them down and ignore them as opposed to the bad boys/jerks who you will see hanging out with the hottest girls but never with a fattie.

This was an aspect of the view put forward by my friend that I didn't mention in the OP: the idea that fat girls (beta females) will essentially only attempt to hook up with nice guy types (beta men).

My problem with applying this argument to my situation stems from the fact that girls know I'm not a "nice guy." To give you an example, a friend of mine recently told some mutual female friends an elaborate story that I had made out with an older woman (true). When the girls asked me what I had to say on the matter, I professed (sarcastically) that I was too innocent to have even been able to follow the conversation. Their reaction was very telling: they rolled their eyes and said "sure, OnTheWayUp, sure." Girls know that I am a sexual being.

I'd like to hope that this means that I am not a "nice guy," and that the fatty's infatuation with me is similar to the beta male's unrequited fascination with "this one girl" (normally HB8-10). Both the beta male and the beta female are attracted to what is out of their league. Barring some form of self-improvement (gym/game in men, diet/gym/looks in women), they will almost certainly have to settle for less in the end- but this does not stop them in their youth from naively hoping for more than they can get.

 

[Clark Kent]

Fatties who act like 10s get the wrong end of the stick if we cross paths. I usually just extort fatties for drinks in the club. Not out of egoistic issues, but just cos I'm thirsty and usually fatties are desperate.

 

[blackwolf]

i am with a fattie. but i cant stand her anymore. i made a mistake by fuking her and going out with her to places. i get embaressed when im out with her. shes got a few rolls. she has an alright face, probably 6. if she was thin she would be pretty hot though. but i dont see her losing the weight anytime soon. she drinks coke all the time and sometimes eats junk. always texting me calling me babe n stuff. i have to force myself to reply lol. i like this other girl who is actually very healthy and supermodel thin! but its still in the works. im wondering what the fattie would do if i said lets just be friends. shes one of those nice fat girls and talking isnt that bad. the sex isnt that bad either if its from behind as i can just look at jessica alba on my bedroom wall. but when she turns over, thats it for me! sex is important to me, not that much but it stil helps in a relationship. id like to be able to hold her up and grab her hips, i want her to be on top of me, or when im doing her from behind i want easy access. it really is just hard to have sex with a fat girl. you cant hold her at all, shes too heavy!

oh and she pretty much drives me around everywhere and pays for everything lol. but i dunno if thats enough to make me stay,

but to answer the question, i am nice to any girl. but if i dont want anythin more than friendship ill tell them.

 

[Zarky]

We've all been there bud. Date more women then you can "vine swing" to hotter and hotter chicks.