It comes to mind when I had a conversation with my aunt, who has been married to my uncle, which is a very short men, for 40 years. They're still married.
"You know, when your uncle went to work and came back late at night, I took care of the children and the house. When he was away, I felt anxious because I didn't know if he would have an affair with someone at work. Your uncle was very diplomatic and used to use the formal 'you' form or speak formally to people. But one day, at a work party where all our families were present, he was approached by a female colleague who greeted him and called him by name. This made me furious with him, but then he told me that she was just a colleague. You see, today I see many young people who don't 'fight' or make 'sacrifices' for a relationship, but this is what a woman has to do, she has to question and fight to maintain the relationship."
I said goodbye to my aunt that day; she had taught me a great lesson. She wasn't concerned with loving my uncle, or if he was short, or bald, or fat.. but rather with feeling anxious about him. The more anxious she was, and the more my uncle reassured her that everything was okay, the more this emotional rollercoaster contributed to the duration of their relationship. She felt like she had to "fight" to maintain this relationship, even tho she was okay.
It doesn't matter if you have 32 or 30 teeth, if you are 150cm tall, or if you are bald, have pimples or whatever..
Of course, good hygiene and self-development is part of the adventure of becoming a mature man, but remember this and fix it well in your mind: There will be some women who will have an obsession with you, and who will feel this uncontrollable anxiety for you, while other women will not.
I guess if my uncle hadn't had this way of passively instilling anxiety in her, and making her feel anxious about him, it would have ended right away. Now, could this explain a woman's overly dramatic or emotional relationship with a "white knight" man? Who knows? But all the long-term relationships I see are based on this.
True relationships between healthy people sometimes last a short time, between 5 and 10 years, and are completely different from this sort of dependency of a woman on a man. Then there are rare cases where healthy relationships last much longer.
But the general subtext was this, and not so much how you have aboundance mentality: a woman loves a man as much as she feels anxious and as much as he can establish comfort again—and then more anxiety. Rinse and reapeat.
This is why you can't explain to so many women why they are drawn to these damaged and childish men, and their look it's not the main thing.. so many emotions, ups and downs.
But if you are real men, don't imitate them! Instead, look for a healthier, less emotional woman and experience a sincere, true, honest, and fearless relationship. Even if this can last only one year, it is worth more than 50 years with a woman who must be anxious about you.
Having said that, I am 100% sure that my uncle cheated on her to satisfy his physiological needs, but he stayed with her to build the family and be a father to her children.
Also, there are some elements that reveal in this story: mu uncle position gave him social proof, validation, and status to my aunt's eyes.
I hope this could clarify something for OP
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