How much do ethnicity play a part in the dating game?

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by jordanz


Jake I never said you implied all brothers are dating whites due to self hate...I'm just letting you know how I percieve things. You seem to think it is atleast a SIGNIFICANT percentage otherwise why would you have even constructed this thread. IMO it's a small minority,but ofcourse I cant prove that.

Woah.... I had better nip this at the bud before it gets out of control.


You totally misunderstand. Would you rather have had me talk about Asian or Latina women instead- the other sub-sets of the population that are notorious for interracial dating? Just because I chose to focus on black men, it doesnt' mean I have something against brothas. Your alarm is irrational - maybe you should keep that in check. Just a respectful suggestion.


Also - it's not a matter of "how much". It ain't about that bro - this isn't some business transaction. It's about PRINCIPLES, and living by a code in which you learn to respect yourself by also loving your own. Mercenary called me 'lazy' which I find a bit ridiculous - as most people who don't bother to think about these sides of IR dating and just sweep it under the rug as "paranoid racism" or "jealousy" are the ones who are lazy - they don't have the mental fortitude or belief to effectively deal with that. They are weak and lazy ones IMO.

Originally posted by jordanz


Still the fact that you bring it up reeks of AFC Jealous insecurity in my opinion. No need for you to be threatened by us, if you are man enough there are plenty to go around.

Oh come on, brother. This is precisely what Asian females who hate themselves say to Asian men who call them out on their BS. Certain Asian women date white men only, and look down on black men, not to mention their 'own' (i.e. yellow) men. They also talk crap about their native cultures, look down on non-European cultures (on the flipside they are very enthusiastic about learning European culture), and generally try to distance themselves as much as possible from their own background. When observant and smart people call them out on their BS - they say precisely what you say to me: "Man.... you hatin'. No hatas, please...."







Please dude. I am trying to mature in analyzing the motives behind certain IRs. Don't try to unravel my well-intentioned posts by trying to sweep things under the rug with these accusations. Just look at all these BLACK AND ASIAN GUYS here agreeing with me here - I must be onto something, don't you think?

 

[Frank Zappa]

Originally posted by SIXPAKGQ
Do people get rejected just because they have a preference of dating certain ethnicities? Discuss

Yes, they do. Just don't waste your time on anyone who rejects or prerejects you. Feel people out. Pretty much, when it comes to a lot of things (ie religion, politics, or racial preference) you ain't gonna change a person.

So when it comes to women, why waste time kililng yourself on a lost cause... There are lots of fish in the sea, it's not your job to change people's preferences nor their job to change yours. People change when they want to and when they're ready to no matter how hard you analyze or argue it. ~Zappa

 

[jakethasnake]

Re: Re: How much do ethnicity play a part in the dating game?

Originally posted by Frank Zappa
Yes, they do. Just don't waste your time on anyone who rejects or prerejects you. Feel people out. Pretty much, when it comes to a lot of things (ie religion, politics, or racial preference) you ain't gonna change a person.

So when it comes to women, why waste time kililng yourself on a lost cause... There are lots of fish in the sea, it's not your job to change people's preferences nor their job to change yours. People change when they want to and when they're ready to no matter how hard you analyze or argue it. ~Zappa

This is excellent advice. Very good, indeed.


I myself do not focus on Asian women who hate themselves and think they are too good for an Asian man. I'd much rather spend my time hitting on an Asian girl that NOT an Auto-Racist, or even an open-minded non-Asian girl. But if I see bullshyt (like their fake-ass, "I'm in an IR so I'm not racist" crap) - I just call them out on it, clown their asses, and move on. That's all.

 

[Mercenary]

Originally posted by jakethasnake
I'm sorry my brother... but are you also a man of color? A black man, perhaps? Well if you are - SHAME ON YOU. That's all I have to say, and I also encourage you to stop hiding behind cryptic statements and patronizing platitudes. Be REAL, my friend. We don't live in a racial paradise.

Again, you don't know who you're talking to or what you're talking about... first you say i'm white, and then you say that i'm black .You're confused and uncertain. This really shows the fallacy involved with how you label people based on attitudes, beliefs, and actions (ie dating patterns) into racial categories.

To tell you the truth, I'm far above and beyond this discussion for the reason that i've done my homework for years. I've READ about, STUDIED, AND experienced the issues you're voicing you're opinion about. Read some Cornel West and you'll see that there's a whole other demension to what you're talking about. "internalized racism" is merely a buzzword you're using to come off as educated. Most of you're thoughts are incomplete and only show one side to the complete picture that is race and sexuality.

Discussion forums really lack the space to handle the breadth and depth of such issues, so it's not worth it to me attempt to school people who have the internet equivalent of attention deficit disorder.

"I never said that 'selling out' (btw, I define 'selling out' as dating for the WRONG REASONS. I am not anti-IR, if it is for healthy, normal reasons - I can expand on that later, if you wish) was exclusive to black males - plenty of Asian men sell out too. "

That statement is pretty asinine.

Do you understand why?

all i'm saying is read a book, and then we can talk. everyone has an opinion but how strongly you feel about it does nothing to prove its validity

 

[jakethasnake]

I can already tell that you're not open to discussing shyt. I won't be participating in this thread anymore - and you ride your high-horse into the sunset.

 

[Mercenary]

Originally posted by jakethasnake
I won't be participating in this thread anymore

You're best reply yet!

http://www.pragmatism.org/library/west/
http://www.multiracial.com/readers/tenzer3.html

Here, i've made it easier for you...
I'm all about discussion, as long as it's an educated and informed one. Try discussing Quantum Physics with an 8 year old, and you'll understand how i'm feeling right now.

 

[jakethasnake]

Don't get cute, Mercenary.



Do you honestly think that being black somehow makes you more qualified that a non-black on racism? If you do, you can keep that garbage notion to yourself. Stop hiding behind your blackness. Blacks do not have a monopoly on racial suffering and damage. Even whites suffer from it, but in different ways.


This shyt is sad. Stop defecating on a race-related thread that was actually going pretty well, for once. There's always one rat in there somewhere, that fvcks it all up... way to go.



Race related threads that haven't been fvcked up my morons at sosuave.com:



0 / 5,343,503,459.



I'm out. Mods should nuke this thread, and Mercenary along with it.

 

[Mercenary]

Originally posted by jakethasnake


Do you honestly think that being black somehow makes you more qualified that a non-black on racism? If you do, you can keep that garbage notion to yourself. Stop hiding behind your blackness. Blacks do not have a monopoly on racial suffering and damage. Even whites suffer from it, but in different ways.

I don't get it. I thought I was white. My ethnicity has no impact on the merits of my word (nor can you determine my ethnicity from my words). You're just reaching now... I haven't made remarks that deal with race and suffering and oppression. You keep creating this strawman to attack... but it doesn't reflect anything i've said on this board at all.

You didn't even read the articles... the second talks about the existence of "White Slaves" and the implications it had on white families. You're not even trying. You're only interested in voicing you're opinion and discrediting those who don't agree, rather than their arguments.

The issue was race and sexuality. I found it perplexing that you would call a white man who didn't date outside of his race a racist, but hen call a black man who did date outside a racist. You've failed to explain that chain of reasoning and have instead tried to attack me personally.

I also find it amusing that you make these assertions about different groups of people (Asians, Blacks, Whites, Women) as if you are able to walk in their shoes simultaneously. One of the basic premises in race education is that while we can aprreciate other groups of people, we can never truly understand what it means to walk in their shoes.
That's why, you claiming to know why a Black woman wouldn't date a white man is just ridiculous to me.

If you'd like to "discuss"... you could start by telling my why a white man who dosn't date out of his race is a racist and a black man who does date outside is a racist....

or even better, explain just how you have the authority to judge an individual on those grounds.

anxiously awaiting your reply

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by Mercenary
I don't get it.

Yeah, you don't.

Originally posted by Mercenary
You're not even trying.

No kidding, sherlock. You're giving me this "my cack is bigger than yours" intellectual challenge, and BELIEVE ME - back in the day my Old Self would have rolled up his sleeve and come into the fray swingin', knockin' your ass out in the process. But I've grown. So sorry, I won't bite.


So to conclude this utterly wasteful exchange with your ass: I told you once that I was done, and guess what....? I'm STILL done with you.



GOOD BYE.

 

[kayman79]

Originally posted by mahon83050
Just curious, why does it seem most black guys always want to date outside of their race. Don't black men like black girls? To be honest with you, I am white and am only attracted to white girls or Latina girls. I do not know any white guys who are attracted to black girls. I am not trying to be racist, but why do black guys dig white girls so much, more so than their own black girls.

While I can understand why there is a misconception that black guys prefer white girls it's just that, a misconception. There a number of reasons why it might seem like that.

For one there isn't as much pressure from society and friends to prevent a black guy from wanting to date a white girl. However if a white guy dates a black girl more of his friends will dissaprove. Our society still has a long way to go with race relations. People still allow society to dictate who they should and shouldn't love or have an attraction to.

Secondly I'm sure that most of the black guys you know are either from school, work, or this board(most of the guys on this board are students). In most colleges, the overwhelming majority of the girls are white so that increases the chances that a black guy will be attracted to one of them.

I'm black and the college I attent in New Jersey is about 90% white so my chances of finding a black chick there who doesn't have a BF back home are really slim . So if I plan on getting any play I can't be picky about race.
Most black students are in the same boat as I am and that's why it seems that we're into white chicks.

The overwhelming majority of girls in the country are white.
Only about 7% of the females in the country are black. You were saying that you're only attracted to white and latina girls but imagine if the numbers were reversed and only 7% of the girls in the country were white. Don't you think there would be a bigger chance that you'd be attracted to different ethnicities? Don't you think you'd be less picky about the race of the girls you dated?

If you go to a predominantly black neighborhood, you'd find that the black guys there a quite happy with black women and are happy that there are so many of them to choose from.

 

[California Love]

Very intuitive post, kayman.

 

[Seks Appeal]

you could start by telling my why a white man who dosn't date out of his race is a racist and a black man who does date outside is a racist....

Mercenary dude..

The day you understand the above profound paaradox will be the day you will be qualified enough to argue with jake the snake.

I will try to explain...

In the above example, BOTH the white man and the black man have swallowed the pill that white is superior to black. That is why the white dude doesn't date black and the "self-hating" black also doesn't date black. Both are racists.

It is sad.. but it is true..

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by California Love
Very intuitive post, kayman.

I'll second that. I'll also add that I have yet to meet a non-European/white/Hispanic woman who have similar interests or world view as me.

Years ago I would get upset about that but now it seems to make me more popular to the "Euro's" because I don't fit into the stereotypical norm. First they are surprised when they find out about my political stance, my taste in music and the fact that I'm a cyclist. I'll just say that it's easy for many Euro women to find some type of interest in me if only for a little while.

Also notice that I use the term "Euro" and not just white. Here in Minnesota there is a difference. Euro women (ones of European decent AND have lived across the pond) here seem to be more receptive about dating any ethnicity. Not to say that white women (those who are very American-centric) seem to be more concerned about how they would be perceived if they dated other ethnicities. Not all of them mind you, just enough to notice.

So for me, I'd be interested to speak with a woman of color (in Minnesota at least) with similar views as me. Not to say that I'd date her because I have some specific physical as well as personal traits that I enjoy in a woman. So far I have only seen those traits in Halle Berry. Oh well, I think she's still single, who know what could happen

 

[Danny21682]

Guys who prefer to date their own ethnicity are by definition racist.

 

[Devestator]

What definition? Attraction is not a moral decision. They are not any more racist than white girls who date black men are race traitors. BTW, in this case you meant to say "ethnocentric", not racist.

 

[mrbrooklyn]

These threads are boring and have nothing to do with seduction. Lets quit using race as a crutch for not being able to meet women.

 

[Skweints]

It's funny how everybody makes all these general statements concerning races and how it should be broken down at the individual level.

Jakethasnake, no disrespect man, but you've got to be a born and raise Asian American (hence, your limitations in describe ONLY using words Asian, White and Black).

I'm a White American, I try to be as open-minded as possible. I like to give everybody a chance, regardless of what race they are. Spending a year out here in Okinawa, I've learned QUITE A BIT about Okinawans, Japanese (yes, Okinawans ARE different from Japanese), Filipinos, Thai, etc. They are ALL different in their little ways. Japanese women are a lot harder to initially pick up if you're white. If you're black out here, you've got something going for you. They just seem more attracted to black men. You go to the Philippines, you'll have girls crawling all over you. Thailand? Depends on where you go. You go to Bangkok, girls are a bit more reserved. You go to Pattiya (spelling might be off), it's ho-ville. And that's just general attraction. Their attitudes are totally different. Japanese people are hardcore on tradition and professionalism. They see having fun as an extreme luxury, and should only be enjoyed at certain times. Filipinos, tend to be lazy. Not in a bad way, a Filipino woman will treat a man the best possible way she can, and she'll do everything in her power to satisfy, but when it comes to time management... needless to say, an hour late to work in the States is suicide, but almost expected in the Filipino culture.

You got to break it down even further if you're gonna bring up stuff about asians, whites, and blacks. White Americans, Austrailians, Europeans. Do you know that in Austrialia, if you're American, just by treating a women with the normal respect we treat women in the states, girls will be all over you to get to know you? It's amazing to think how American women take that for granted! Same with Asian cultured people. Women out here are suppressed, forced to live two steps behind their husbands. If you treat a girl as an equal out here, you're golden.

I can't say I'm familiar with any south-western countries, but I have met a few Africans (and I'm talking LIVED in Africa, not Black Americans) just by being in the military, and they are some of the most interesting people I've ever met. As far as dating is concerned, I can't give any real advice.

Needless to say, it's all about personal preference. It's really not a topic that needs to be discussed. You either have the physical features and personality to attract a certain type of woman, regardless of race or cultural background, or you don't. To answer the question originally asked, in the States? Definitely, people are going to be judgemental over race. In foreign countries, could be subtle or extreme. After meeting women from so many different cultures, I'm gonna hate going back to the States. Truely decent women are WAY harder to come by than any foreign country you can go to.

Hope that clears anything up for anybody.

 

[Pete_C]

Originally posted by Danny21682
Guys who prefer to date their own ethnicity are by definition racist.

This is why U.S is going down hill. Immigrants, mixed babies, people who are obsessed with interracial dating & sex. There is nothing wrong with people who prefer to stick with their own race.

 

[Skweints]

Originally posted by Pete_C
This is why U.S is going down hill. Immigrants, mixed babies, people who are obsessed with interracial dating & sex. There is nothing wrong with people who prefer to stick with their own race.

Pete_C, I wouldn't say that's why the U.S. is going down hill. When it comes to race, it's more a matter of personal interest, family interest, and peer pressure. There's plenty of successful relationships in the States to justify that interracial dating and sex doesn't really cause any problems. Even if they did, it's only effect the people around them. To say that some one hooked up with a race different from their own is going to have a global effect, that's blowing things out of perportion. I think everybody is overanalyzing the entire situation.

[Edited]

Wow, I just saw things temporarily from a different perspective, and realized that no matter what ANYBODY says, nobody is going to be completely satisfied with a single answer. So, the thread needs to be closed.

 

[entropy]

BAH BAH

Mercenary. You've succesfully bated Jake into making the mistake of assuming your color, and this seems to be the only relevant thing you can argue about (with a point that is).

Go back and read his original post. You may be able to discuss Quantum Physics, but you can't seem to read a thread and grasp it's contents. Who's acting like an 8 year old?

Oh your link....

West’s best-selling book Race Matters (1993), which has sold 400,000 copies, changed the course of America’s dialogue on race, justice, and democracy.

Empirical evidence!!!!

This book certainly did change America's dialogue.

In fact everyone I know has adopted the dative Before Race Matters (or BRM) and After Race Matters, when reflecting back on their life.

This guy is tight with jesse jackson, so he is utterly discredited.

Plenty chicks love our muscular frames our height, "masculine" facial features and darker skin tones, our confident cool aura

Stereotyping. Shouldn't cool aura be replaced with media hype?
I guess a stereotype is okay as long as I dig it....right (ie big dong)?

Blacks age the best and Caucasians not as well

Really? Where's the source of this information, besides your a$$?

Hence, you see that many biracial children are quite good looking.

Really? I see some that are, some that arent'.

Just like anything else.

Once again another stereotype, but the ministry of propaganda must have sanctioned this one (I see no complaints from the altruistic enlightened people).

Just because you'll f**k anything that walks doesn't make you enlightened, or open minded.

Because you come to the conclusion we should all get along, doesn't make you enlightened or a realist (and I'm not saying it shouldn't be that way).

Jake's right, people of color generally tend to be real about race issues. White's seem to have been fed propaganda, implying we should be altruistic. No white pride is allowed, and there seems to be mounting pressure in our culture to mix for the benefit of man.

Defintion of a racist.......

A white person, or anyone who questions the new popular public opionon.

Pete_c's right. America is getting fawked up. The poster had a legitimate question, and it seems it can't even be asked.

I think Jake had balls and insight when he posted.

My point isn't that races should stay seperated, only that I feel a growing cultural pressure for us to mix, as if it's benefiting man-kind and that your a martyr, and that your SUPER OPEN MINDED, and ENLIGHTENED if you choose to do so.

Some interesting reading on the future of america......

http://www.numbersusa.com/index

We're going third world baby!!!!