How much do ethnicity play a part in the dating game?

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by Mercenary
A white man who won't date out of his race is a racist?

A black man who does date out of his race is a racist?

WTF are you smoking!??

Read some literature on race and sexuality and you'll find out that you just need to STFU and let people fvck who they want to fvck.

Spoken like a true white liberal. And if you're not white, I would be shocked, coz people of color are a lot more REAL about race and race issues, and how it affects them. All we care about is the BOTTOM LINE, and we deal with it. However in general, whites just seem to stick their heads in the sand and pretend that racism doesn't exist. Oh well.



And also - I was merely stating that for some individuals, their dating patterns will reveal quite a bit about their racial complexes. I run into Asians who think they are SUPER open-minded because they date outside their race. And guess what? 8 times out of 10 they are with whiteboys/girls. If they're so open-minded how come they won't even consider a Mexican man, or a black man - hell not even THEIR OWN? It's fukken bullshiet bro - people who date interracially can ABSOLUTELY BE RACIST. ABSO-FUKKEN-LUTELY. I'm not hatin' on the whiteboys as much as the utter *dishonesty* of those "cracka-worshippin'" Asian girls/boys - if they like white guys, they should at least be honest and upfront about it. Their dishonesty leaves a fukken bad taste in my mouth.




Anyway guys, I'm glad that for once we were able to keep some semblance of civility in a race-related thread. These things tend to get heated a lot of the time...

 

[entropy]

Jake the snake, I agree with you 100%.

People are generally racist. Or a better way to put this is.....if sides are being drawn people usually take the side of those with cultural similarities.

People also generally tend to be attracted to those with like traits. Opposites rarely attract, unless your talking about male female polarity.

As far as race mixing goes, in my town, from my observations, the thing I see the most is white girls with black guys.

I rarely see black girls and white guys together, hardly ever.

And what I find odd about it, is these people always go for the same arch-type. White girl exclusively dates black guys, black guy exlusively dates white girls.

Another thing I find interesting is alot of black men I see, have a fat white girl fetish.

Anyone else notice this?

 

[Meffid Man]

He said "racist against fat chicks." I didnt know fat chicks were a race. I'm just messin with ya .

But ya. Its not to great being black in this Euro land of America. That's probably why black dudes struggle alot with women is because it seems like they're (we're) going after the women that arent meant for them (us), figuretively speaking. But it sucks when everyday of your life, you're bombarded with Euro, Euro, Euro.

Take it from me, I'm living proof of this phenomenom. I lived in a predominately white neighborhood in my developing stage in life (most influential). I went to a predom. white school. I had to listen to my mom bad mouth black people all the time (she secretly wishes she was white, IMO). She married a white dude (8 years this year) and that didnt help the situation. I also had an older brother (very AFC might I add) who was very influential in my life. I had to hear him, all the time, glorify all women that weren't black. "Black women are just ugly...I'm never gonna date/marry a black woman." That line stuck out the most because he said this to me when I was about 10 years old. Right now, he's married to a Latina.

All this was stored up in my brain and it showed. I resented black girls for a long time. Loud, foolish, "ghetto" is what crossed my mind everyday. All of high school, didn't touch one..didn't even look at one. Weren't friends with any and never talked to any of them. That's how deep that got. I was a like a KKK member to black woman. It was ridiculous. All my friends were also non black. It spread so much that i couldn't stand black PEOPLE period until I graduated high school (2 years ago).

I came across an article (very similar to this post actually) talking about self hatred and the black male. Every ''symptom'' they talked about, I had. I took me to tears nearly that I was that bad and I didn't even know it. And I observed that many black dudes were in the same situation as I, some more or less deep.

To this day, I'm still healing. But i still carry bit of the hatred in the back of my head. I'm trying my best though. Sorry for this long winded post but i'm just tryna give a little example for those who dont know what many black dudes in the U.S. go through.

P.S. - Jakethesnake is on point very much

Meff

 

[jakethasnake]

Meffid Man,


I sincerely appreciate your candor and brutal honesty. My hat goes off to you.

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by tristan22
Dude i'm not trying to make a racism doesn't exist post and i'm not trying to be the "look at me guys", i dated a black girl therefore i'm not racist......so why quote me. My point was, everyone is discriminated against, so don't use it as an excuse for your shortcomings in life.

I mentioned the i dated a black girl story to let people know that i'm white and she was black and her black parents were against it. In a sense, some black people have a problem with interracial dating, not just white people. That was my point!

Once again people, Date whomever you desire!

Actually Tristan - I was just responding to your story about black atheltes dating out a lot. That's all - you seem like a fairly open-minded guy, and I respect that. All I was saying was that those black jock got white ***** simple because they had social leverage - any varsity college athlete, whether they're Asian or white or black, have leverage to attract the girls with.


Anyway, I'm sorry if I gave the wrong impression - you're cool in my book.

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Originally posted by Meffid Man


But ya. Its not to great being black in this Euro land of America. That's probably why black dudes struggle alot with women is because it seems like they're (we're) going after the women that arent meant for them (us), figuretively speaking. But it sucks when everyday of your life, you're bombarded with Euro, Euro, Euro.

True story...I remember when I was young, I went to a mostly white school, and to make it worse, back in the 80's, you really didnt see many black people on TV, or any minorities for that matter...Thats the reason why everyone likes white girls so much, cause 90% of the time you saw a good looking girl on TV, she was white, its like social conditioning or something...Now its getting better cause you see more minorities on TV....But for me, the only way to break it was to go out and actually see people in the real world and stop watching so much TV...

 

[mahon83050]

Originally posted by TheInfamousCBear
True story...I remember when I was young, I went to a mostly white school, and to make it worse, back in the 80's, you really didnt see many black people on TV, or any minorities for that matter...Thats the reason why everyone likes white girls so much, cause 90% of the time you saw a good looking girl on TV, she was white, its like social conditioning or something...Now its getting better cause you see more minorities on TV....But for me, the only way to break it was to go out and actually see people in the real world and stop watching so much TV...

I agree with you on this one.

I also have heard this:

Supposedly during the slave trade, white slave owners would have sex with or even rape black women slaves quite often(Thomas Jefferson did this). Could it be that black men vigourously pursue white women to get back at the white man. I have read this numerous times.

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Originally posted by mahon83050
I agree with you on this one.

I also have heard this:

Supposedly during the slave trade, white slave owners would have sex with or even rape black women slaves quite often(Thomas Jefferson did this). Could it be that black men vigourously pursue white women to get back at the white man. I have read this numerous times.

Thats why some black women dont like white guys, cause the slavemasters used to rape the slaves and now alot of black people have white blood in them, I think thats where the term African American comes from, cause people from Africa are full blooded and we are diluted...But people make it seem like black dudes are chasing after white girls, but white girls chase after black dudes too...All kinds of white girls too...Its like in the slave times where sometimes the slavemasters daughters would mess with the black dudes just to see how it is..Its still like that now, I know black dudes who dont even mess with white girls anymore cause its too easy, and they were just being used for sex...Goes to show you that nothing really changes...

 

[InsidiousNstinct]

I'm in the same boat kinda. Im adopted and my whole family is white. I myself am Hispanic. MY school was 95% white. A lot of people consider me black because I am dark skinned. Some people like me, some don't. I know a boy thats in the KKK, but he still hangs around me.....eh I said hang.

I myself find myself going for caucasin women as well. It all goes back to conditioning. I don't have one friend thats not caucasin. It's all in how your brought up.

Do I find women outside of caucasin pretty? Yep I do.

Food for thought....someone from every race wants to be a different race ....SAY WHAT?

Ill explain...some black people try to act white. I know white people who try to act black (mostly males)

White girls try to act hispanic, mexican, black, exc. Don't believe me? Thats why they invented Tanning beds...

Like I said...just my 2 cents.

 

[Okra]

I am a caucasian male raised in the South here in Georgia and I would date a girl from any race. Right now I am dating a hot black girl. I have been dating her for 8 months. And we don't date each other due to some "inner self hatred" as some poster stated. This post is pointless. People are attracted to people. And usually if they have stuff in common they last longer.

 

[undesputable]

i dont care if i date blacks, white, hispanic, european, indians, jewish, canines, felines or anything as long as shes hot or damn intersting.... for some reason ive never dated an asian before, i dont know why, they just dont appeal that much to me.....i have a lot of asian friends though....

 

[OpenMind]

I don't agree with Jakethesnake 100%, I agree with him 1000%. He couldn't have said it better. When people learn to be truly honest with themselves that's when they learn to move on from their stereotypes..... Arguing with the truth gets you nowhere.. so why do it?

 

[Mercenary]

Originally posted by jakethasnake
Spoken like a true white liberal. And if you're not white, I would be shocked, coz people of color are a lot more REAL about race and race issues, and how it affects them.

This statement is indicative of how very little you know about this issue. It irks me that you continue to reify this nonsense and all of these sheep are like "yeah i agree with you" in a pitiful attempt to justify their ignorance to themselves on the subject.

Finding and knowing the truth isn't easy, so it comes as no suprise that most people choose to be lazy.

 

[jordanz]

I agree with Jake that SOME people date for superficial reasons....

I agree that "european features" (really a myth cause "race" is a myth) are pushed as #1.

Despite that, many of us have appreciation for our "own" women and theie features. True beauty IMO is about Symmetry not individual facial features.

Plenty women of all races find Tyson Beckford , Wesley Snipes Will Smith, Denzel Washington handsome. Are those dudes sporting "narrow" noses and straight hair? Two are married to Black women one and Asian.....

And of course for every brother who hates is looks I could give you 10 that like the things that are UNIQUE to "us".

Women of other races being attracted to "us" isn't attributed only to "stereotypes" (which by the way WE didnt create)....

Plenty chicks love our muscular frames our height, "masculine" facial features and darker skin tones, our confident cool aura....we are talking Natural attraction here.

Dont be so quick to assume Brothers are dying for white chicks. The average brother where I'm from would take "Lisa Nicle Carson" over Jennifer Aniston any day!!!

 

[Mercenary]

Originally posted by jordanz
I
Dont be so quick to assume Brothers are dying for white chicks

CORRECT

Originally posted by jordanz

The average brother where I'm from would take "Lisa Nicle Carson" over Jennifer Aniston any day!!!

INCORRECT

There is no such thing as the "average brother"

this entire thread stinks of generalizations... you all need to start classifying people as individuals and not groups.

 

[So Many Ways]

I think jakethesnake is 100% on point and I can relate to meffid man's post a little too closely.

I grew up in an all white neighborhood in Orange County so I was one of the only blacks around. I know I had a degree of self-hatred growing up and that didn't begin to change until when I got into high school and really got into hiphop and started reading stuff about black history and started learning about Malcolm X and other key black leaders. Despite that, I saw white girls as being prettier than black girls and I didn't see things differently until well into my adolescence. I think the reason for that change was that this was the time when hiphop became popular (late 80's early 90's) and many black shows became popular and black actors and actresses began getting some publicity. That was a big factor in how I began to change the way I see things.

Even in my own family I see some of the self-hatred. My brother refuses to date black women. He thinks all black women are (throw in any generalization i e fat, golddigger, bad attitude, blah blah blah). He didn't realize his dating problems were the result of bad decisions and being a spineless doormat. Of course he doesn't see it that way. My sister thinks black guys are weird, she won't date them and she can't relate to other blacks at all. I tried to teach her things about our culture but she had no interest in learning any of it. When I did get old enough to date, the black women I approached were reacted from everything between indifference to outright hostility, so I began approaching women of other races, Mexican, Asian, White. Of course I was still overwhelmingly afc so my success was extremely limited. At any rate, I rarely approached black women and I was angry at them for rejecting me and that was another issue I had to work through.

I think I've worked out most of my issues at this point but I still have some. I do think black women are absolutely gorgeous and I will always be attracted to them. I also still do interracially date. For me what's important now is how well I connect with someone. That's the biggest determinant in whether or not I'll date someone. Race is much less improtant to me at this point.

At any rate, what jakethesnake and meffid man spoke about is some real sh!t and so many of us are dealing with that kind of stuff on a daily basis and believe me I can relate.

 

[California Love]

Jakemyman,

You are just brushing the surface. You need to go beyond the social prejudices and see that in the end, relationships are still built on chemistry.


It doesn't matter what color your girl is; she could be the prettiest thing now, but after 20 years of marriage, its the personality that counts.



An aspect no one has touched on yet is the genetic matching of the races. Blacks age the best and Caucasians not as well, which could potentially be a good reason for a white-black couple to exist. The genetics compliment each other well. Hence, you see that many biracial children are quite good looking.

With my personal experience, I have concluded that a girl of any race can be attractive and intelligent; race is an irrelevant issue in the long run if the chemistry is good.

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by California Love
Jakemyman,

You are just brushing the surface. You need to go beyond the social prejudices and see that in the end, relationships are still built on chemistry.


It doesn't matter what color your girl is; she could be the prettiest thing now, but after 20 years of marriage, its the personality that counts.



An aspect no one has touched on yet is the genetic matching of the races. Blacks age the best and Caucasians not as well, which could potentially be a good reason for a white-black couple to exist. The genetics compliment each other well. Hence, you see that many biracial children are quite good looking.

With my personal experience, I have concluded that a girl of any race can be attractive and intelligent; race is an irrelevant issue in the long run if the chemistry is good.

Bro - I appreciate that you're trying to be civil in addressing me. I really do.



Someone here said that I said that ALL interracial relationships are based on internalized racism and stereotypes. NO - I said that SOME are. But again, that isn't to say "some" means "a tiny little fraction". We will never know, unless we can tie these individuals down to a surgeon's table and scan their brains. In fact, it could very well be that *more* than a "small fraction" of these IRs are based on unhealthy reasons. And as an added variable, different IRs are based on differen *degrees* of racism, internalized or not. Some may be based 100% on racial stereotypes. I've met whitegirls who think they are openminded coz they only date Asian men, and think that white guys and especailly black guys are TRASH. Is that irrational? Yes. Is that RACIST? Yes. Did I still **** her? Hell yeah. I could never have had a healthy relationship with a woman like that because for her, my race meant more to her than my personal traits. In fact, I could have easily been replaceable with any other Asian guy.


We Asians also have terms for Asian girls who exclusive chase white guys - 'Cracker Chasin' Bytches'. These girls are equally as pathetic as the white girl I fvcked, because they are only chasing some obscure racial "image" - not a real man. These women will NEVER find happiness - they will DIE forever in the process of looking for that elusive happiness.


My point is that these utter MORONS (BMs, WMs, AMs, AFs, WF, etc. who all date IR for twisted and weird reasons) are still human. They deserve some semblance of a life and happiness, just like anyone. I am not denying them that. But I am also exercising my right, my FREEDOM OF SPEECH to criticize them. They might get sick of people criticizing them - but it doesn't make them any more noble. The simple fact is that they date each other for sad and demented reasons - and it our right to point that out if we so desire. Would you stop criticising George W. Bush for his abrasive foreign policy, just because he didn't want to hear it? No. You'd let him have it. And that is exaclty what me and many other disgusted people are doing to these pin-heads that are in IRs for fvcked up reasons. They can continue to do it - but they had damn well be prepared for the backlash, the 100% DESERVED criticism that will rise against them for their clownish antics.

 

[jordanz]

<<INCORRECT

There is no such thing as the "average brother"

this entire thread stinks of generalizations... you all need to start classifying people as individuals and not groups.>>

Relax and dont rope me in with the others. It was a poor use of words on my part but I think you know what I meant to say. Just in case I will REPHRASE:

Regarding looks: More brothers from where I'm from (BROOKLYN NY) would pick a voluptuous chick (What many White dude may see as "fat") over your Jennifer aniston "type".

Course that might explain the Brothas with fat white chick problem that some seem so concerned about....

Jake I never said you implied all brothers are dating whites due to self hate...I'm just letting you know how I percieve things. You seem to think it is atleast a SIGNIFICANT percentage otherwise why would you have even constructed this thread. IMO it's a small minority,but ofcourse I cant prove that.


Still the fact that you bring it up reeks of AFC Jealous insecurity in my opinion. No need for you to be threatened by us, if you are man enough there are plenty to go around.

And to the brothas that grew up in predominantly "white" neiborhoods, your conditioning is to be expected. But again most of us live with are own type and end up marrying our own "type". Again I said "Most" not "all".

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by Mercenary
This statement is indicative of how very little you know about this issue. It irks me that you continue to reify this nonsense and all of these sheep are like "yeah i agree with you" in a pitiful attempt to justify their ignorance to themselves on the subject.

Finding and knowing the truth isn't easy, so it comes as no suprise that most people choose to be lazy.

I'm sorry my brother... but are you also a man of color? A black man, perhaps? Well if you are - SHAME ON YOU. That's all I have to say, and I also encourage you to stop hiding behind cryptic statements and patronizing platitudes. Be REAL, my friend. We don't live in a racial paradise.


And also, if your really are a brotha, there is no need to be defensive when I pointed out the self-hate that is inherent in brothas and is manifested in their unusual dating patterns. I never said that 'selling out' (btw, I define 'selling out' as dating for the WRONG REASONS. I am not anti-IR, if it is for healthy, normal reasons - I can expand on that later, if you wish) was exclusive to black males - plenty of Asian men sell out too. My point is that we at least need to become AWARE of these subtle prejudices against OUR OWN - that is a poison that will eat you up slowly until your dying day. We need to *heal* - and the best way to do that is to become *aware* of your internalized racism, and work hard to overcome that. It is VERY important to love your own, bottom line -- and there is no need to bullshyt people into thinking that you (I'm not just talking to you, to ppl in general) date interracially because you're some 'model figure of open-mindedness'. Any smart and aware person will see thru that bullshyt - especially if your dating patterns are CLEARLY discernible -- i.e. Asian women that only date white men, but don't date black men - or white girls that only date Asian men but hate on brothas or white men.


To sum it up - BE AWARE. AND USE THAT AWARENESS TO HEAL, TO BECOME BETTER MEN. Thank you. *bows*