Life can be funny.
When I was 19, I had a good company of ca. 10 friends I got to know during the school years. They were good friends, I had always something to do. Lots of acquintances too, we were invited to multiple places, got to know people through them,...
Don't know why, but one day I started to dislike that life. I wanted something else.
I started lifting weights about that same age. In the fitness club I came in contact with different people: older than me, stories about women, clubs, drugs, bad reputation,...
I was young, naive & clueless. I wanted to be part of it. So I started going out with them during several years. Went to clubs, had much fun, forgot about my old friends.
From time to time I still came across one of my old friends, but they looked differenlty at me, like if I had become a gangster. They told me I had changed. Eventually I lost contact with them.
I'll be 26 in january. I'm done with all those retarded club situations & drug taking people. I had lots of fun, but I have goals. Most of those “friends” I know have zero goals, nothing constructively to do. So now when they ask me to do something, I often have to tell them I can't because I have business to do. They tell me I have changed.
Now I have one close friend. I got to know him 7 years ago, used to go clubbing with him. He has goals, I help him with his business, he helps me with mine. I changed, he changed with me. He's not AFC, he's “enligthened”.
Except for him, my best friends are my collegues at work. I have a responsible job with good carreer oppurtunities and the best collegues I could wish for. It remembers me the good times I had at school, we have lots of fun. All of them are very goal-oriented: have a side business starting/running for example, some of them have been/are/will be my business partners in the future. But we do not see each others that much outside of out work for practical reasons.
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Having friends is IMO important because:
*Social life is entertainment outside the work/business/weightlifting hours.
*You get to know people through them
*You gather ideas/point of views that can help you in your own life.
*You have something to do: you get invited, you go to places, ...
*As most women have lots of friends, it's good as a counterbalance for her friends.
And this is my point. I know you need it, I know how to make friends with people, but who qualifies to be a friend?
There are more AFCs & clueless people walking on earth than Dj's & goal-oriented pepole. It's the same as finding a quality woman. They exist, but you need the eye of the tiger.
So maybe it's best to have no expectations, no judgement, no standards to set, just take them for what they are: people.
The only rule: respect. They respect you, they can be friends. No respect: out after 2 warnings.
-peace.