How has dating changed in the past 10 years?

[SamTheHobit]

I've been in a relationship for almost 7 years so I'm pretty out of touch.

Just curious how dating has changed in the past 10 years?

What's your experience from dating women 10 years ago to dating women in this day and age?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Not as much as most want to believe.

 

[Robert28]

I used to be a lot better at it 10 years ago than I am now. Is it possible that you forget game? Guess that’s what’s happened to me. I always had a girlfriend 10 years ago and before, now I struggle to keep a girl around more than a month. It can’t be all me.

 

[corrector]

You are from South Africa, right? How is South Africa like for dating?

 

[IKO69]

Largely excessive cell phone use, cheap validation through dating apps and so on

When I meet women who are interested my approach hasn't really changed all that much but invariably I am asked about social media & apps (20ish crowd mostly). They are always shocked. I tell them there is nothing shocking about it that stuff is stupid.

 

[Scars]

It's definitely changed.

We're kind of "forced" to play the game in todays climate. Either adapt or die.

Most conversations will be done through text. Girls screen men left and right, and it takes a bit more "effort" with certain girls.

Most girls know about PUA and/or aware of it. C0cky + funny is actually CRINGEY + semi funny. Girls are expecting this. Be different.

It's OK to break the DJ Bible rules. It was written almost 20 years ago (or maybe it is 20 now? not sure). Things are more situational. If anything my best advice is to learn more psychology. Learn what makes a certain girl tick, her background with her father/mother, upbringing etc.. combine this with the DJ rules and you will go further than most. Anyone who has dealt with a fair amount of women will know you don't always get the same outcome doing/saying the same thing. ADAPT OR DIE.

Overall women are more stuck up and self entitled. OLD is at it's worst. You have fat 4-5s expecting a chiseled 9 who makes $100k a year. It's absolutely insane. If you do date online expect the woman to be using old pictures and is at least 2 points below what you expect. If you think you're meeting a 9, expecting a 7.

Feminism and cancel culture is also a major issue. Ugly men are at a disadvantage. If they approach a woman they get labeled as a creep/predator. But a "chad" could approach a married woman and still get a soft left down.

I could probably go on, but those are the main things I can think of. If anyone has any questions (including OP), I can elaborate more.

 

[Robert28]

It's definitely changed.

We're kind of "forced" to play the game in todays climate. Either adapt or die.

Most conversations will be done through text. Girls screen men left and right, and it takes a bit more "effort" with certain girls.

Most girls know about PUA and/or aware of it. C0cky + funny is actually CRINGEY + semi funny. Girls are expecting this. Be different.

It's OK to break the DJ Bible rules. It was written almost 20 years ago (or maybe it is 20 now? not sure). Things are more situational. If anything my best advice is to learn more psychology. Learn what makes a certain girl tick, her background with her father/mother, upbringing etc.. combine this with the DJ rules and you will go further than most. Anyone who has dealt with a fair amount of women will know you don't always get the same outcome doing/saying the same thing. ADAPT OR DIE.

Overall women are more stuck up and self entitled. OLD is at it's worst. You have fat 4-5s expecting a chiseled 9 who makes $100k a year. It's absolutely insane. If you do date online expect the woman to be using old pictures and is at least 2 points below what you expect. If you think you're meeting a 9, expecting a 7.

Feminism and cancel culture is also a major issue. Ugly men are at a disadvantage. If they approach a woman they get labeled as a creep/predator. But a "chad" could approach a married woman and still get a soft left down.

I could probably go on, but those are the main things I can think of. If anyone has any questions (including OP), I can elaborate more.

Most of these women still trying to play the game in their 30’s are going to end up alone eventually with nothing.

 

[Smok1nAce]

the biggest change is a majority of men have become simps,
and a majority of women have unknowingly become a step up from a stripper/escort,

another samll majority have actually benefited from the social media age of dating and are able to date women and men that they would have never before,
another even smaller majority of men and women are not dating at all

10 years ago if you got a girls number it was almost a 90% chance you would hook up, now its a 90% you will not.

 

[Stuffnu]

Tinder profiles

 

[BadWatermelon]

It's definitely changed.

We're kind of "forced" to play the game in todays climate. Either adapt or die.

Most conversations will be done through text. Girls screen men left and right, and it takes a bit more "effort" with certain girls.

Most girls know about PUA and/or aware of it. C0cky + funny is actually CRINGEY + semi funny. Girls are expecting this. Be different.

It's OK to break the DJ Bible rules. It was written almost 20 years ago (or maybe it is 20 now? not sure). Things are more situational. If anything my best advice is to learn more psychology. Learn what makes a certain girl tick, her background with her father/mother, upbringing etc.. combine this with the DJ rules and you will go further than most. Anyone who has dealt with a fair amount of women will know you don't always get the same outcome doing/saying the same thing. ADAPT OR DIE.

Overall women are more stuck up and self entitled. OLD is at it's worst. You have fat 4-5s expecting a chiseled 9 who makes $100k a year. It's absolutely insane. If you do date online expect the woman to be using old pictures and is at least 2 points below what you expect. If you think you're meeting a 9, expecting a 7.

Feminism and cancel culture is also a major issue. Ugly men are at a disadvantage. If they approach a woman they get labeled as a creep/predator. But a "chad" could approach a married woman and still get a soft left down.

I could probably go on, but those are the main things I can think of. If anyone has any questions (including OP), I can elaborate more.

Is this based on your personal experience?

 

[devilkingx2]

Two major differences are the """pandemic""" and the role of online dating sites and apps

1. There was once a time where OLD was considered for losers who can't get a date. But nowadays there's OkCupid subway train ads and Tinder is the most mainstream thing in the world. But 90% of guys won't get anywhere on those apps.

2. BS COVID restrictions may affect your ability to approach and meet girls. Wearing masks, social distancing, etc.

 

[biggoal]

Two major differences are the """pandemic""" and the role of online dating sites and apps

1. There was once a time where OLD was considered for losers who can't get a date. But nowadays there's OkCupid subway train ads and Tinder is the most mainstream thing in the world. But 90% of guys won't get anywhere on those apps.

2. BS COVID restrictions may affect your ability to approach and meet girls. Wearing masks, social distancing, etc.

I disagree. 7 years ago tons of decent women were on OLD. Better and easier to approach. All I see on OLD is mostly single moms and fat women. Now OLD if you see a woman who's not ugly or fat they seem to last a week and don't renew after the free trial.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Our lack of formality and commitment is breeding insecurity into our relationships. “Casual” dating has become so rampant that nobody knows what they want anymore, or what works.

I look at the love of my grandparents and I see stark contrasts to how people conduct themselves in relationships today. They put a lot of work in, on the front end, and they got a LOT of life and love out of them - until death.

Dating is hard now because everyone wants it to be easy! Expect it to be work, because you are developing the most intimate, personal, and possibly the most important relationship you will ever have in your life. And if you do not look at EVERY potential date in that manner, than you will get out exactly what you put in. Nothing.

In the past People generally dated for shorter periods of time, got engaged sooner, and wed much earlier than modern counterparts. It was not uncommon for a couple to be married with children before they reached age 30. On the contrast, people will now date for MONTHS before they even make the dating exclusive. They will wait LITERAL YEARS before getting engaged. This waiting period, I believe, instills a lack of confidence into the relationship. It is like window shopping. You can only window shop for so long before it becomes obvious that you do not want the product.

 

[Robert28]

I’ve been rejected for the STUPIDEST reasons that I would have NEVER been rejected for 10 or more years ago. Had one women tell me “I didn’t appreciate you trying to kiss me on the first date, we only knew each other for two hours!” I mean what the fvck? You’re 35 god damn years old and acting like a spoiled brat child. If I hadn’t tried to kiss you you’d complain I wasn’t interested or you couldn’t tell. Just dumb **** like that I didn’t have to put up with back in the day.

 

[SW15]

I've been in a relationship for almost 7 years so I'm pretty out of touch.

Just curious how dating has changed in the past 10 years?

What's your experience from dating women 10 years ago to dating women in this day and age?

Congrats on a 7 year long relationship in this era. I also admire your mindset and your interest in getting back out there.

There have been changes in the last 10 years.

Lets remember that 10 years ago was late 2011/early 2012. Tinder didn't launch until September 2012. With online dating, Match, OkCupid, and PlentyofFish were the dominant players in tech assisted dating in late 2011/early 2012. Plenty of women were on those sites back then and were getting their inboxes flooded. Let's not pretend 2011/2012 was some sort of dark age The change now is that a larger percentage of the single population now uses tech assisted dating method as compared to 10 years ago. Women now are getting both their swipe queues and inboxes flooded. Swipe apps took the worst elements of website dating and put them on steroids.

If you choose to meet women through in-person methods, there will be fewer changes. However, in-person approaching has changed in the last 10 years. Fewer men are now doing it and fewer women are accustomed to being approached. There are still enough men doing approaches.

Two major differences are the """pandemic""" and the role of online dating sites and apps

1. There was once a time where OLD was considered for losers who can't get a date. But nowadays there's OkCupid subway train ads and Tinder is the most mainstream thing in the world. But 90% of guys won't get anywhere on those apps.

2. BS COVID restrictions may affect your ability to approach and meet girls. Wearing masks, social distancing, etc.

The swipe apps are huge sausage fests @SamTheHobit. Tinder is 76% male and Bumble/Hinge are 65% male. Based on these numbers, you're going to have a difficult time. It keeps getting worse. Men in 2021-2022 are having a harder time then even the men of 2016 on apps. Apps in 2016 were not easy either.

COVID has made in-person approaching more difficult. Good luck doing approaches in a grocery store with masks. Outdoor approaching is the most viable form of approaching now. I would study the Krauser/Torero London Daygame Model, which is likely the best outdoor approaching book that exists.

Most conversations will be done through text. Girls screen men left and right, and it takes a bit more "effort" with certain girls.

Texting in late 2011/early 2012 was a big deal if you were dealing with women born after the early to mid 1980s. In 2012, if you were a Gen X guy dealing with Gen X women (1981 is the last birth year of Gen X), you probably didn't need to do much texting. I'm an early Millennial and in 2012, women in the first half of the Millennial generation (birth years 1982-1989) expected you to text. That hasn't changed today. Now women of all ages expect you to text.

Keep texting to a minimum. Only arrange logistics via text. No deep discussions. If you absolutely need to have a deep discussion at some point (likely after a few dates), arrange a time via text to have a phone conversation. Better yet, save that discussion for something in-person. I'm not discouraging phone calls but use them sparingly.

10 years ago if you got a girls number it was almost a 90% chance you would hook up, now its a 90% you will not.

When I got women's phone number 10 years ago, I did not bang 90% of the numbers I got. Your game might have been better than mine back then. Also, in 2012, I got more numbers via tech assisted means and those numbers/first dates were typically worthless. My frame of reference might be skewed because of this.

Getting a number was and still is more valuable if you do it via an in-person approach. Social circle is always easiest, that's true in both 2012 and 2022.

 

[biggoal]

Congrats on a 7 year long relationship in this era. I also admire your mindset and your interest in getting back out there.

There have been changes in the last 10 years.

Lets remember that 10 years ago was late 2011/early 2012. Tinder didn't launch until September 2012. With online dating, Match, OkCupid, and PlentyofFish were the dominant players in tech assisted dating in late 2011/early 2012. Plenty of women were on those sites back then and were getting their inboxes flooded. Let's not pretend 2011/2012 was some sort of dark age The change now is that a larger percentage of the single population now uses tech assisted dating method as compared to 10 years ago. Women now are getting both their swipe queues and inboxes flooded. Swipe apps took the worst elements of website dating and put them on steroids.

If you choose to meet women through in-person methods, there will be fewer changes. However, in-person approaching has changed in the last 10 years. Fewer men are now doing it and fewer women are accustomed to being approached. There are still enough men doing approaches.



The swipe apps are huge sausage fests @SamTheHobit. Tinder is 76% male and Bumble/Hinge are 65% male. Based on these numbers, you're going to have a difficult time. It keeps getting worse. Men in 2021-2022 are having a harder time then even the men of 2016 on apps. Apps in 2016 were not easy either.

COVID has made in-person approaching more difficult. Good luck doing approaches in a grocery store with masks. Outdoor approaching is the most viable form of approaching now. I would study the Krauser/Torero London Daygame Model, which is likely the best outdoor approaching book that exists.



Texting in late 2011/early 2012 was a big deal if you were dealing with women born after the early to mid 1980s. In 2012, if you were a Gen X guy dealing with Gen X women (1981 is the last birth year of Gen X), you probably didn't need to do much texting. I'm an early Millennial and in 2012, women in the first half of the Millennial generation (birth years 1982-1989) expected you to text. That hasn't changed today. Now women of all ages expect you to text.

Keeping texting to a minimum. Only arrange logistics via text. No deep discussions. If you absolutely need to have a deep discussion at some point (likely after a few dates), arrange a time via text to have a phone conversation. Better yet, save that discussion for something in-person. I'm not discouraging phone calls but use them sparingly.



When I got women's phone number 10 years ago, I did not bang 90% of the numbers I got. Your game might have been better than mine back then. Also, in 2012, I got more numbers via tech assisted means and those numbers/first dates were typically worthless. My frame of reference might be skewed because of this.

Getting a number was and still is more valuable if you do it via an in-person approach. Social circle is always easiest, that's true in both 2012 and 2022.

Then what explains OLD and a good chunk of the women being fat, unattractive, tatted, etc? I know the pool of attractive women is smaller these days but IRL you see more attractive women than you do on OLD.

 

[Scars]

Texting in late 2011/early 2012 was a big deal if you were dealing with women born after the early to mid 1980s. In 2012, if you were a Gen X guy dealing with Gen X women (1981 is the last birth year of Gen X), you probably didn't need to do much texting. I'm an early Millennial and in 2012, women in the first half of the Millennial generation (birth years 1982-1989) expected you to text. That hasn't changed today. Now women of all ages expect you to text.

Keeping texting to a minimum. Only arrange logistics via text. No deep discussions. If you absolutely need to have a deep discussion at some point (likely after a few dates), arrange a time via text to have a phone conversation. Better yet, save that discussion for something in-person. I'm not discouraging phone calls but use them sparingly.

Agreed. I think this is why some of the DJ Bible stuff is simply outdated.

The bible will tell you to avoid texting completely and ONLY call, because "straight to the point" is the way. But you can still apply these principles through text. I don't think I need to elaborate, I'm sure most of you will get it.

Most of your phone calls with women will probably be because of arguments. Not setting up date plans. Let's just get real here.

If you need to have a long conversation with a woman, then it's best to arrange a meeting to do it in person.

Getting a number was and still is more valuable if you do it via an in-person approach. Social circle is always easiest, that's true in both 2012 and 2022.

Agreed. Meeting and approaching a woman in person will always hold more value and women will respect you more for it.

 

[Scars]

Then what explains OLD and a good chunk of the women being fat, unattractive, tatted, etc? I know the pool of attractive women is smaller these days but IRL you see more attractive women than you do on OLD.

I'm not exactly sure what you're asking. Can you elaborate more?

You're saying that you see a higher percentage of attractive woman IRL rather than OLD?

 

[SW15]

Agreed. I think this is why some of the DJ Bible stuff is simply outdated.

The bible will tell you to avoid texting completely and ONLY call, because "straight to the point" is the way. But you can still apply these principles through text. I don't think I need to elaborate, I'm sure most of you will get it.

Most of your phone calls with women will probably be because of arguments. Not setting up date plans. Let's just get real here.

If you need to have a long conversation with a woman, then it's best to arrange a meeting to do it in person.

You could not get away with only calling in the 2010s-2020s. Women don't answer calls from unknown numbers at the very early stages. You might be able to do that if she had your name/number in her phone from the initial exchange. Something I started to do around the mid-2010s was ask for the date in-person, then collect the number as a result of making the date. Even after a 1-3 dates today, you still can't do solely calling.

I moved to a new city in 2011. As a result, I needed to meet new women and I was learning in the 2nd half of 2011 how ingrained texting was at that point with Millennial women. I had to make a game adjustment then.

I have had phone calls after a couple of dates with a woman where date logistics were more complicated than a simple text exchange.

Over the years, I have had few phone arguments. I have had pleasant phone calls with women once I had already had sex with them and they were likely headed for girlfriend status or we had determined exclusivity.

Meeting and approaching a woman in person will always hold more value and women will respect you more for it.

Yes, this is true. There are times that a woman you meet from cold approach will treat you like shiit. I have an example. One time I got a woman's number after a fitness class and got her to agree to a drinks date/time. I said I'd text her my number after. The morning of the date I texted her. No response. I didn't show up for the date. So although I had the guts to approach her in person and set a date, she still treated me like I was some slapdicck she was interacting with on a swipe app.

I have a few other examples but you get the point from that.

I have also had women tell me that they were impressed by me doing an in-person approach, even if they didn't agree to a date with me. In a situation like that, I can't be mad at the woman but still disappointed.

 

[biggoal]

I'm not exactly sure what you're asking. Can you elaborate more?

You're saying that you see a higher percentage of attractive woman IRL rather than OLD?

Yes.