How has dating changed in the past 10 years?

[Solomon]

Here is something i am noticing from alot of people… both men and women

Relationships are accelerating in speed. Its as if people are desperately throwing themselves into new ones and all timetables are sped up

i am not just talking about sex, its normal to want that quickly, but i mean the speed at which people get in super deep with someone new.

i see it with almost all my women friends and alot of guy friends. Maybe its a reaction to market forces and all the competition out there.

You barely know someone from online then next thing you know they are talking about moving in together or more.

Yeah my buddy whom I hadn't seen in 5 months, I visited him yesterday, he now has a woman living with him, and she has a kid (Granted the kid wasn't there but my buddy doesn't have a kid) mind you he met this woman 4 months ago. So you figure she moved in two months ago or so.

It's insane

 

[Ricky]

Yeah my buddy whom I hadn't seen in 5 months, I visited him yesterday, he now has a woman living with him, and she has a kid (Granted the kid wasn't there but my buddy doesn't have a kid) mind you he met this woman 4 months ago. So you figure she moved in two months ago or so.

It's insane

Yes. I know a woman last year who in March didn’t have a boyfriend but by June was already planning on moving out of town to be with a guy which she did at the end of July last year

 

[Gamisch]

"Dating is hard now because everyone wants it to be easy! Expect it to be work, because you are developing the most intimate, personal, and possibly the most important relationship you will ever have in your life. And if you do not look at EVERY potential date in that manner, than you will get out exactly what you put in. Nothing."

Agree; This reminds me of when I was fresh out of collage in my 20s when me and the Boys hit the bars and clubs on a regular basis.
We had a gal friend that hung out with us, (she was actually a very good dancer, C&W) She told me and a friend one night after we blew-off some chick "You know y'all, that girl may have been the best thing that could ever happen to you in your life, but you will never know now." I remember thinking that "Yeah, she may be onto something" So did I learn from that? No, I was 26 and clueless and still had a lot to learn.

I agree.

The "bubblyness " described by @Solomon , unfortunately also disappears for us men. Most men end up traumatized by the same thing they love the most; women.

And its hard AF to stay uber positive when you've been taking to the cleaners multiple times.

What I've noticed with most women over 30 is they (unlike their 20 y.o competition), is they want shyte FAST. Too fast. Everyone is serial dating and it numbs us as all.

Yikes indeed. Those are not Chads or Chad lites. Well the dude in the lower right corner is a handsome guy. The rest are average at best.

This isn't that impressive. Any woman hb2 and up can pull this off nowadays . Some men just wanna nut..rather free before they pay, if they even consider this.

 

[holidayad_]

Most men end up traumatized by the same thing they love the most; women.

Masterpiece quote.

 

[Smok1nAce]

Plain and simple people just arnt into dating like they used to be, its become transactional and shallow.

 

[BPH]

I think stuff like social media and dating apps made it worse. But I think what really ruined it was COVID...

Because COVID is when OnlyFans really took off and showed how lonely the average man is - willing to pay for a parasocial relationship despite p*** being free...

Suddenly, hot women are millionaires because their entire lifestyle is subsidized by simps and sugar daddys, so why would she date a regular guy when she can date some CEO who flies her out to Miami and takes her out on his yacht? Bhad Babie, the cash me ousside girl, made $1million dollars on OF the day she turned 18...

There's this really gorgeous Instagram model I came across a few years ago, Mikayla Demaiter. Small town Canadian bombshell who was dating a pro hockey player and only had about 100k followers on Insta. She starts doing OF, makes millions, they break up, and she's been living a lavish lifestyle in France ever since - never seen the guy either, since I highly doubt she's alone over there.

Getting back to the dating apps, I have plenty of guy friends who pay for Tinder Gold just so they can swipe on every girl and filter them out later. So now the average 4s and 5s even have plenty of matches and inflated sense of ego because they can have any guy they want...now that being the case, imagine how many options an 8 or 9 has.

It's just a worldwide dating market now where every girl thinks they can land a high value millionaire man, so why would they settle for you?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I've been in a relationship for almost 7 years so I'm pretty out of touch.

Just curious how dating has changed in the past 10 years?

What's your experience from dating women 10 years ago to dating women in this day and age?

I was out and back for over a decade. OLD is a big change. SM is another venue. And nightlife seems a bit tamer. But otherwise. Once I got up to speed. It was almost no different. If anything. Women are a bit more aggressive now.

 

[SW15]

What I've noticed with most women over 30 is they (unlike their 20 y.o competition), is they want shyte FAST. Too fast. Everyone is serial dating and it numbs us as all.

That's mainly for women 30+ who want children. Women 30+ who want children want to accelerate things fast because of the biological clock. Women 30+ who don't want children are as content to move at a pace similar to a 20 something.

I think stuff like social media and dating apps made it worse.

Getting back to the dating apps, I have plenty of guy friends who pay for Tinder Gold just so they can swipe on every girl and filter them out later. So now the average 4s and 5s even have plenty of matches and inflated sense of ego because they can have any guy they want...now that being the case, imagine how many options an 8 or 9 has.

I asked a woman on a date for the first time in 1999 as a 16 year old. Social media wasn't around then and dating websites were a thing, but still stigmatized for losers and not used by high schoolers or college aged people yet.

Social media became a thing in 2004 with both MySpace and Facebook launching around the same time.

Social media, smartphones, and dating apps were all around 10 years ago (2014). Dating apps have changed the way that a lot of people meet each other. Even after dating websites got de-stigmatized around the 2003-2005 era, they were never as widely adopted as dating apps have been.

If you were on dating websites like Match, Plenty of Fish, or OkCupid in the 2006-2012 era, a lot of the same things were going on then. Women on those websites then were getting their inboxes flooded by thirsty men. Tinder was invented to reduce inbox volume. Women could now only receive messages from men they wanted to receive messages from. Instead, women got a Likes queue that was similar to the hundreds of messages that they would have in their dating website era inbox. And more women used dating apps than dating websites because smartphones are everywhere. In the dating website era, a woman would have to log on to a less convenient desktop or laptop computer to deal with her messages.

Even with more women using apps than websites, apps are still sausagefests, just like websites were the sausagefests in the 2000s-early 2010s.

Dating apps have greatly affected nightlife. A woman in the 2010s-2020s has realized that she doesn't need to go out to bars 2-3 nights per week to meet men. A woman in the 2010s-2020s is able to get substantially more male suitors using swipe apps and Instagram as compared to a similarly aged woman from the 1990s-2000s was able to get going to bars 2-3 nights per week. That's not an incentive for women to get dressed, put on makeup, arrange transportation, and go out.

Smartphones, swipe apps, and social media have also impacted non-bar approaching as well. Meeting women at parks and on paths is now very difficult due to earbud use. So many women now use earbuds outdoors so outdoor approaching is difficult. Nearly every woman now wears earbuds on the general gym floor, which makes that venue very challenging. It's the same story on the streets with both earbuds and looking down at the phones. Inside malls, a lot of women have their heads buried in their smartphones, making them less approachable. That's only true if they even go to malls anymore. Online shopping has reduced the necessity of many mall visits, reducing mall foot traffic. Online shopping hasn't affected the grocery store as much as the mall. In the late 2010s, I started seeing some earbuds in the grocery store but haven't since that as much in the 2020s. Women at grocery stores might look at their smartphones but that's less common there than in the other public places. In general, women have also gotten less receptive to random, non-bar approaching due to smartphones, swipe apps, and social media.

I think what really ruined it was COVID...

Because COVID is when OnlyFans really took off and showed how lonely the average man is - willing to pay for a parasocial relationship despite p*** being free...

The free tube porn websites have been around since at least the late 2000s. Even in the early 2000s, free porn was accessible on the file sharing platforms. The adoption of high speed broadband internet made free porn more of a thing. Without high speed internet, someone would have had to buy porn DVDs in the late 1990s/early 2000s and that was a lot pricier than free porn. People even did pay per view porn from their cable TV provider or subscribed to a porn channel then. High speed internet ended that.

The popularity of porn in the high speed internet era has just shown the problems in the sexual marketplace. Men turn to porn because their real life sex lives are lacking. There has been a surplus of single men to single women in the under 40-45 age ranges since the early 2000s in most US metro areas. Women have had more abundance since then.

Men keep getting thirstier and women are rejecting a larger percentage of the male population.

Both porn and OnlyFans are symptoms of the disease.

 

[pipeman84]

There's this really gorgeous Instagram model I came across a few years ago, Mikayla Demaiter. Small town Canadian bombshell who was dating a pro hockey player and only had about 100k followers on Insta.

How do you know she's hot in real life? An AI generated character (like this one for instance) can be hot on IG, that doesn't mean anything. I searched Demaiter on YouTube, there's no interview to see how she actually looks like, what her voice sounds like. This reminds me of another IG model, Veronika Rajek who was rumored to be dating Tom Brady a while back. Yeah well, if you listen to her on YouTube she has a bad accent and a not so pleasing voice.

It's just a worldwide dating market now where every girl thinks they can land a high value millionaire man, so why would they settle for you?

Because not every girl has a high-end escort mentality. It's very unlikely that a girl with average self esteem and more than 2 functioning brain cells (absolute musts for a relationship) would even consider horing herself to a millionaire.

 

[BPH]

How do you know she's hot in real life? An AI generated character (like this one for instance) can be hot on IG, that doesn't mean anything. I searched Demaiter on YouTube, there's no interview to see how she actually looks like, what her voice sounds like. This reminds me of another IG model, Veronika Rajek who was rumored to be dating Tom Brady a while back. Yeah well, if you listen to her on YouTube she has a bad accent and a not so pleasing voice.

I'm not here to convince you whether she's real. I assume she's real based on watching her growth over the years and due to the fact that she publicly dated pro hockey player Kurtis Gabriel. Maybe you can ask him if she's real.

Because not every girl has a high-end escort mentality. It's very unlikely that a girl with average self esteem and more than 2 functioning brain cells (absolute musts for a relationship) would even consider horing herself to a millionaire.

Sure, but they are the minority. They are the unicorns. They are the female equivalent of a multi-millionaire high-value man who looks like Brad Pitt and f***s like Johnny Sinns.

My ex had about 5,000 followers on Instagram and her DMs were constantly flooded with guys offering to buy her stuff, send her gifts, fly her out, CashApp her money, etc. She wouldn't accept any of it, but she was so far removed from what the reality is for men and below-average women. If you have all these options, most people are reasonably going to choose the best option.

 

[logicallefty]

I may be a little late to the party here but I am going to respond to the OP, because this is a topic I have been thinking about a lot lately. Here is a summary of my own thoughts, observations, and experiences.

If you go back 10 x years to 2014, women ran the show in dating. However, as a guy, if besides working on your looks you did something to set yourself apart from the crowd, you could do well. For me, my humor was one of my big qualities to retain women. NO matter what I made being around me FUN for women, all the time, no matter what.

Today, 2024, women still run the dating show overall. However, things aren't s gravy for them as they were 10 years ago. If ya'all haven't noticed, red pill for men is becoming more popular than ever. Today in 2024, MANY men over 25 have been burnt by a woman at least once, many multiple times. Many very badly. Having a \{}/ hole is longer enough for MANY men to give a woman full access to the kingdom. Women are being challenged to bring more to the table besides a stinky hole to dump a load into. Men are doing risk assesments to see if a woman is worth the risk. Also, a lot more men are dating foreign/non-white women now because men are opening their eyes to differences between races. I am one of those men who has joined the interacial dating club, and I love it. I am a white American mutt and My GF is Puerto Rican. She is also a medical doctor. I don't know if I can ever go back to dating a spoiled white american brat who works at the gas station after this relationship, God forbid if it doesn't work out. Also, a lot of older men 50+ are traveling to or moving to Thiland and Phillipeans to find women. Big movement there. And American women DO NOT like it! lol

Bottom line, again, women still run the show as they did 10 years ago. But GOOD men are treading a lot more carefully and making women put more skin in the game before they get access to the good men.

These next few years are going to be very entertaining, and I think very positve for men.

 

[The Duke]

I may be a little late to the party here but I am going to respond to the OP, because this is a topic I have been thinking about a lot lately. Here is a summary of my own thoughts, observations, and experiences.

If you go back 10 x years to 2014, women ran the show in dating. However, as a guy, if besides working on your looks you did something to set yourself apart from the crowd, you could do well. For me, my humor was one of my big qualities to retain women. NO matter what I made being around me FUN for women, all the time, no matter what.

Today, 2024, women still run the dating show overall. However, things aren't s gravy for them as they were 10 years ago. If ya'all haven't noticed, red pill for men is becoming more popular than ever. Today in 2024, MANY men over 25 have been burnt by a woman at least once, many multiple times. Many very badly. Having a \{}/ hole is longer enough for MANY men to give a woman full access to the kingdom. Women are being challenged to bring more to the table besides a stinky hole to dump a load into. Men are doing risk assesments to see if a woman is worth the risk. Also, a lot more men are dating foreign/non-white women now because men are opening their eyes to differences between races. I am one of those men who has joined the interacial dating club, and I love it. I am a white American mutt and My GF is Puerto Rican. She is also a medical doctor. I don't know if I can ever go back to dating a spoiled white american brat who works at the gas station after this relationship, God forbid if it doesn't work out. Also, a lot of older men 50+ are traveling to or moving to Thiland and Phillipeans to find women. Big movement there. And American women DO NOT like it! lol

Bottom line, again, women still run the show as they did 10 years ago. But GOOD men are treading a lot more carefully and making women put more skin in the game before they get access to the good men.

These next few years are going to be very entertaining, and I think very positve for men.

Good to hear a refreshing viewpoint. I think men have realized the current market And made a few changes.

 

[HaleyBaron]

We live in a consumer society, and we literally now also consume people.

Dating is now an industry in of its self, and partners go out of fashion no different to last years clothing fashion trend.

The dating game is completely alien to how it used to be. Simply being not bad looking, a half decent job and no cheating vibes (you used to be a 9/10 at one time with these features) just doesn't cut it anymore.

Social media fundamentally altered the landscape when it took off big (combined with smartphones) in the early-mid 2010s. These technologies allowed for the creation of new virtual social networks and low-cost, instantaneous means to status signal. Social circles, which had been hollowed and dried out, suddenly became much more rigid and clearly defined. As an end result, the “lone wolf” can no longer sneak around in the shadows. He is quickly sussed out as not belonging to the pack.

The lone wolf adapts.

 

[HaleyBaron]

There's this really gorgeous Instagram model I came across a few years ago, Mikayla Demaiter. Small town Canadian bombshell who was dating a pro hockey player and only had about 100k followers on Insta. She starts doing OF, makes millions, they break up, and she's been living a lavish lifestyle in France ever since -

The great joke is that the woman has no business over in France. Who is she looking to get with that cash money in France? lol

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I may be a little late to the party here but I am going to respond to the OP, because this is a topic I have been thinking about a lot lately. Here is a summary of my own thoughts, observations, and experiences.

I am one of those men who has joined the interacial dating club, and I love it. I am a white American mutt and My GF is Puerto Rican. She is also a medical doctor. I don't know if I can ever go back to dating a spoiled white american brat who works at the gas station after this relationship, God forbid if it doesn't work out. Also, a lot of older men 50+ are traveling to or moving to Thiland and Phillipeans to find women. Big movement there. And American women DO NOT like it! lol

I hope she's even-tempered, man...

 

[SW15]

a lot more men are dating foreign/non-white women now because men are opening their eyes to differences between races.

Western men going to Eastern Europe, Asia, or Latin America has been talked about online for decades. I remember reading articles about that as far back as the mid-2000s.

A White man in the United States dating a non-White woman born outside of the United States but now living in the United States could be considered better than dating a White woman from the United States.

It's better to relocate abroad to date than date a woman from outside the USA who relocated to the USA. Western culture can poison these women from more traditional cultures.

My GF is Puerto Rican. She is also a medical doctor.

Why do you think a Hispanic woman with an advanced degree and careerist occupation born outside the mainland USA a better option than a White woman born inside the USA with an advanced degree and a careerist occupation?

 

[Divorced w 3]

I may be a little late to the party here but I am going to respond to the OP, because this is a topic I have been thinking about a lot lately. Here is a summary of my own thoughts, observations, and experiences.

If you go back 10 x years to 2014, women ran the show in dating. However, as a guy, if besides working on your looks you did something to set yourself apart from the crowd, you could do well. For me, my humor was one of my big qualities to retain women. NO matter what I made being around me FUN for women, all the time, no matter what.

Today, 2024, women still run the dating show overall. However, things aren't s gravy for them as they were 10 years ago. If ya'all haven't noticed, red pill for men is becoming more popular than ever. Today in 2024, MANY men over 25 have been burnt by a woman at least once, many multiple times. Many very badly. Having a \{}/ hole is longer enough for MANY men to give a woman full access to the kingdom. Women are being challenged to bring more to the table besides a stinky hole to dump a load into. Men are doing risk assesments to see if a woman is worth the risk. Also, a lot more men are dating foreign/non-white women now because men are opening their eyes to differences between races. I am one of those men who has joined the interacial dating club, and I love it. I am a white American mutt and My GF is Puerto Rican. She is also a medical doctor. I don't know if I can ever go back to dating a spoiled white american brat who works at the gas station after this relationship, God forbid if it doesn't work out. Also, a lot of older men 50+ are traveling to or moving to Thiland and Phillipeans to find women. Big movement there. And American women DO NOT like it! lol

Bottom line, again, women still run the show as they did 10 years ago. But GOOD men are treading a lot more carefully and making women put more skin in the game before they get access to the good men.

These next few years are going to be very entertaining, and I think very positve for men.

I would only amend this to say ‘quality men’.

There is always going to be a simp out there for her to call in a pinch.

Otherwise this is brilliant.

 

[logicallefty]

Why do you think a Hispanic woman with an advanced degree and careerist occupation born outside the mainland USA a better option than a White woman born inside the USA with an advanced degree and a careerist occupation?

Because white women let their success go to their heads. White women get off on the power. White women very likely to have some type of cluster-B mental health issue regardless of their education.

Non white women aren’t perfect but at least they understand the importance of roles between men and women. My Puerto Rican girlfriend works 70 hours a week. She cooks six nights a week. I am typically at her house 3-4. If I am at her house, I am not allowed to do anything in her kitchen without asking her. She said it is her responsibility to cook for me. She won’t even let me come get food, she insists on serving me. I told her it’s not her job to be my servant, It’s my privilege to eat her awesome food that you can just tell she cooks with love. She says NO, in her culture a woman cooks for her man and waits on him. It doesn’t matter that she is in a high stress, long hours, high profile career. On comparison my ex-wife who is white let me work 3 jobs while she worked 30-35. She cooked seven times in a calendar year and said i needed to hire a maid if i didn’t like it. Total different attitude between white women and others in my opinion.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I wasn't doing that bad around 2014, but I think I've had more success in the ten years since.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Because white women let their success go to their heads. White women get off on the power. White women very likely to have some type of cluster-B mental health issue regardless of their education.

Non white women aren’t perfect but at least they understand the importance of roles between men and women. My Puerto Rican girlfriend works 70 hours a week. She cooks six nights a week. I am typically at her house 3-4. If I am at her house, I am not allowed to do anything in her kitchen without asking her. She said it is her responsibility to cook for me. She won’t even let me come get food, she insists on serving me. I told her it’s not her job to be my servant, It’s my privilege to eat her awesome food that you can just tell she cooks with love. She says NO, in her culture a woman cooks for her man and waits on him. It doesn’t matter that she is in a high stress, long hours, high profile career. On comparison my ex-wife who is white let me work 3 jobs while she worked 30-35. She cooked seven times in a calendar year and said i needed to hire a maid if i didn’t like it. Total different attitude between white women and others in my opinion.

BOSSY!!!!

With all due respect @logicallefty - you're a cop, man. Establish some damn authority. Why does she (read: *you*) let "her culture" dictate what she does, regardless of context, against your wishes, even when she's not in her homeland? Puerto Ricans aren't even 4% of the Miami metro population, ffs.

If you're into latinas, I suggest a non-Boricua.

@Giovanni SouthSide does this sound like your type of Latina?