I don't know how to talk to girls at all. I am just now realizing it. It seems like I never developed socially when it came to women. Ever since I can remember girls never paid attention to me and were always hostile. I am now in my early 20s and it is still the same case. It' s like I don't even exist. I admit I'm not the best looking guy, average at best maybe even below average. I don't even hit on girls, I don't ask for numbers, I am not desperate I act like a normal person. Is there a book on how to talk to women? Thanks!
How do you talk to girls?
- Thread starter zxcvbnm02
- Start date
It's really, really, really easy. Make friends with women, with no intention of dating them. This doesn't mean you have to choose attractive women. Just talk to them like you would talk to a guy - they're just women. Use your new friend to meet other new friends, and really put yourself out there to meet people. I did this last fall and now I don't even think about having subject matter to talk about.
Have you ever noticed when talking to somebody really interesting, that even if you don't have much to say they'll elicit responses from you and drive the conversation? you can do that too. one person can set the entire mood for the conversation, you just have to practice how.
Have you ever noticed when talking to somebody really interesting, that even if you don't have much to say they'll elicit responses from you and drive the conversation? you can do that too. one person can set the entire mood for the conversation, you just have to practice how.
DJ Alejandro
Senior Don Juan
one. make friends.
two. make friends with friends of friends and of their friends.
three. read the bible.
two. make friends with friends of friends and of their friends.
three. read the bible.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
- Messages
- 6,628
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- 45
Best way is practice.
And there's nothing "special" about talking to women. Conversation is a skill that applies universally. Just because she's hot doesn't mean you should try to speak in a special way about special things just to try to appease her.
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/converse.htm
This applies universally. Powerful stuff.
And there's nothing "special" about talking to women. Conversation is a skill that applies universally. Just because she's hot doesn't mean you should try to speak in a special way about special things just to try to appease her.
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/converse.htm
This applies universally. Powerful stuff.
It could be (and this is true for both men and women) that at some level, you don't want to make a fool of yourself or look like an idiot. This acts like a huge Censorship Board in your head and you end up only saying the most sterile and boring things instead of what you really want to say.
Start trying to provoke some sort of reaction from people. I don't suggest you be mean or offensive, but have an opinion and make comment on anything about you. Listen to that internal smart arse we all have in us and sometimes just say what he says.
How do you talk to your mates? Do the same to women. Make the same stupid jokes, take the pi$$ out of them and just have fun with it. I usually do that and quite often it is mistaken for flirting, because many women are so used to guys putting on a 'civilised' facade. A guy who just mucks around with them is often a novelty/unique/memorable.
Start trying to provoke some sort of reaction from people. I don't suggest you be mean or offensive, but have an opinion and make comment on anything about you. Listen to that internal smart arse we all have in us and sometimes just say what he says.
How do you talk to your mates? Do the same to women. Make the same stupid jokes, take the pi$$ out of them and just have fun with it. I usually do that and quite often it is mistaken for flirting, because many women are so used to guys putting on a 'civilised' facade. A guy who just mucks around with them is often a novelty/unique/memorable.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
- Messages
- 6,628
- Reaction score
- 178
- Age
- 45
Excellent post...I'm sure we all know that guy who will go into a pack of women and act just like he does with you and his other friends...and we sit back and say, "How DARE he be so cavalier? Those are WOMEN he's talking to! How can he just walk in there and be that person?"
Be that person. Don't change up your behavior or attitude just to impress someone who may or may not be judging you.
If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are. -Picard
(BTW, if you can't talk well to your friends either, then you have something new to work on
)The above is so true....
The best advice that works for me 100% is do not be afraid, do not worry about offending as such. Stand up for who you are and speak about the real you and the conversation should flow freely, do not say what you think she wants to hear.
What I am trying to say, is do not be a nice guy. The most important thing is to listen to her, she will do the most of the talking, focus the topics on her and tease her about what she says. Ask her leading questions, follow up her responses and explore them deeper and you will probably find you have things in common that if you should desire, you two could talk about all night long. If its nots working, maybe she is a bad conversationalist or just not in the mood for some reason BUT no worries just talk to the next girl.
Speak clearly, confidently, passionatly, look her in the eyes for the majority of the time- you may want to look at her lips quickly then back to her eyes ( it will let her know your interest) and if your struggling for topics- you have more problems than talking to women, work on yourself then worry about meeting women.
The best advice that works for me 100% is do not be afraid, do not worry about offending as such. Stand up for who you are and speak about the real you and the conversation should flow freely, do not say what you think she wants to hear.
What I am trying to say, is do not be a nice guy. The most important thing is to listen to her, she will do the most of the talking, focus the topics on her and tease her about what she says. Ask her leading questions, follow up her responses and explore them deeper and you will probably find you have things in common that if you should desire, you two could talk about all night long. If its nots working, maybe she is a bad conversationalist or just not in the mood for some reason BUT no worries just talk to the next girl.
Speak clearly, confidently, passionatly, look her in the eyes for the majority of the time- you may want to look at her lips quickly then back to her eyes ( it will let her know your interest) and if your struggling for topics- you have more problems than talking to women, work on yourself then worry about meeting women.
Player_Supreme
Banned
I. According to David De'Angelo:
1) Attraction isn't a process that happens by "choice." In other words,
a woman doesn't start talking to a man and say to herself "wow, this
guy seems very smart and funny... just the type of guy that I've been
looking for... I think I'll feel attracted to him." This has evolved to my
phrase "Attraction Isn't A Choice."
2) Attraction happens at an unconscious level as an automatic
EMOTIONAL response to certain cues. For men attraction usually
happens in response to a beautiful face and a nice body. For women it
usually happens for other reasons (although it can and does happen on
occasion for physical reasons alone).
3) Attraction does have a "logic" all of its own, complete with
techniques you can learn in order to increase it.
4) When a woman feels ATTRACTION to a man, she will do things that
seem to be completely illogical, irrational, and even against her best
interests in order to be with the man who is the object of her desires.
If you're a guy that is stuck in the idea that a woman "should" feel
attracted to a "nice guy", then your first step is to open your eyes, and
take a look around at some of the OBVIOUS patterns that are hidden
right in PLAIN SIGHT around you.
1) There are a lot of guys who are average looking, average height,
average income, etc. who have ABOVE average success with women.
2) The "nicest" guys aren't usually the ones that women are attracted
to.
3) There are a lot of men who are truly "bad boys" who get FAR more
than their share of women.
4) We humans, for the most part, are not in control of our "attraction
mechanisms"... in other words, when we are attracted to someone
else, it takes control of us and there's NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT
IT.
II. On the subject of talking to women:
A. You are vain and self centered.
1. Because you are so focused on you. When you talk to women you worry about what she is thinking about you so much you clam up or you won't even approach them.
2. You need to make it about other people. Take a REAL interest in other peoples lives.
3. There is no magic secret to talking to women and becoming a great conversationalist. It's just about finding all you can about them...find out her past...where she's from...why she moved from there..did she like it back there..how about where she is rightnow...does she like it...how long has she been here...ect ect....
4. When you put your mind to it...there are a million and one questions you can ask her and engage her in active conversations.
This is one of my posts from another site:
Most men just do not know how to talk to women. I am going to tell you about a technique to use on women to make you a master at conversation.
If you ask women open ended questions and you will never be at a loss.
All right mutha ****a's, you are probably thinking, what the hell is an open ended question (unless you've been in sales before)? An open-ended question is a question that begins with one of the following words:
What, Why, Where, When, and How.
An open-ended question cannot be answered with a one word answer and you can get a woman talking for an hour if you ask the right questions. If you become an expert at asking open-ended questions you will never again be at a loss for words on what to say to a woman.
Here are a few examples:
What was your last boyfriend like...this will give you clues as to how much abuse she will take...if she say's he was an ******* I paid for everything...let your pimp brain do the rest.
**I know some of you don't like to ask about negative subjects and all that speed seduction stuff*****
When were you last in love and what was it like for you....this type of question puts her into a state of remembering what love felt like and it makes her more suggestable to your direction.
There are probably dozens of questions you can ask but the important thing to remember is to keep the b*tch talking.
This type of questioning allows you to get inside her head. *****es will percieve you as being genuwine (and your not), Real (don't make me laugh), and Personable (if only they knew the truth), and really interested in them (need I comment).
We know you only have one goal and that is to play the game and play it well.
For you beginners out there try formulating 5 open-ended questions before you speak to a b*tch.
You can take one subject matter and work it to death by just breaking it down...for example:
1. where do you live
a. do you like it there?
b. what do you like about living there?
c. how long have you been there?
2. where did you live before
a. how long were you there
b. tell me about living there
c. why did you leave
ect ect...just one subject and you will get hoards of info from her little mind. And you will be elevated in her's for taking a deeper than shallow interest.... Whom would you like to spend your time talking too...someone who gets nervous and asks you plain questions or someone who seems to take a true interest in the real U..
Getting a mouth piece is all about taking the spot light off you and putting it on her. Some big mouths will f**k this sh*t up for example take the first series of questions above they will ask it and they tell there sh*t like Oh yeah I used to live there and boy was it...blah blah blah...you get the idea
Don't do this sh*t. Keep that light on her and remain a mystery to her... When she asks you questions deliberately joke around and be vague in your answers.
So you see there is really nothing to talking to fine women except taking a true interest in the real person before you and not her tits & ass.
There are no magic 1st liners...forget that sh*t it doesn't exists. Nothing beats walking up to someone and say Hello! What's your name....Hey Susie, my name is Pimpin, nice to meet you...are you from here? and off you go.
You gotta learn to use the surrounding to spark off a topic. I like to take something in the area and make a funny comment on it as a way of introduction. This way your coming at her from a side angle instead of straight up in her face, then begin my attack.
_________________
Play the game or get played by the game, your choice. In the art of love their are no victims only volunteers.
1) Attraction isn't a process that happens by "choice." In other words,
a woman doesn't start talking to a man and say to herself "wow, this
guy seems very smart and funny... just the type of guy that I've been
looking for... I think I'll feel attracted to him." This has evolved to my
phrase "Attraction Isn't A Choice."
2) Attraction happens at an unconscious level as an automatic
EMOTIONAL response to certain cues. For men attraction usually
happens in response to a beautiful face and a nice body. For women it
usually happens for other reasons (although it can and does happen on
occasion for physical reasons alone).
3) Attraction does have a "logic" all of its own, complete with
techniques you can learn in order to increase it.
4) When a woman feels ATTRACTION to a man, she will do things that
seem to be completely illogical, irrational, and even against her best
interests in order to be with the man who is the object of her desires.
If you're a guy that is stuck in the idea that a woman "should" feel
attracted to a "nice guy", then your first step is to open your eyes, and
take a look around at some of the OBVIOUS patterns that are hidden
right in PLAIN SIGHT around you.
1) There are a lot of guys who are average looking, average height,
average income, etc. who have ABOVE average success with women.
2) The "nicest" guys aren't usually the ones that women are attracted
to.
3) There are a lot of men who are truly "bad boys" who get FAR more
than their share of women.
4) We humans, for the most part, are not in control of our "attraction
mechanisms"... in other words, when we are attracted to someone
else, it takes control of us and there's NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT
IT.
II. On the subject of talking to women:
A. You are vain and self centered.
1. Because you are so focused on you. When you talk to women you worry about what she is thinking about you so much you clam up or you won't even approach them.
2. You need to make it about other people. Take a REAL interest in other peoples lives.
3. There is no magic secret to talking to women and becoming a great conversationalist. It's just about finding all you can about them...find out her past...where she's from...why she moved from there..did she like it back there..how about where she is rightnow...does she like it...how long has she been here...ect ect....
4. When you put your mind to it...there are a million and one questions you can ask her and engage her in active conversations.
This is one of my posts from another site:
Most men just do not know how to talk to women. I am going to tell you about a technique to use on women to make you a master at conversation.
If you ask women open ended questions and you will never be at a loss.
All right mutha ****a's, you are probably thinking, what the hell is an open ended question (unless you've been in sales before)? An open-ended question is a question that begins with one of the following words:
What, Why, Where, When, and How.
An open-ended question cannot be answered with a one word answer and you can get a woman talking for an hour if you ask the right questions. If you become an expert at asking open-ended questions you will never again be at a loss for words on what to say to a woman.
Here are a few examples:
What was your last boyfriend like...this will give you clues as to how much abuse she will take...if she say's he was an ******* I paid for everything...let your pimp brain do the rest.
**I know some of you don't like to ask about negative subjects and all that speed seduction stuff*****
When were you last in love and what was it like for you....this type of question puts her into a state of remembering what love felt like and it makes her more suggestable to your direction.
There are probably dozens of questions you can ask but the important thing to remember is to keep the b*tch talking.
This type of questioning allows you to get inside her head. *****es will percieve you as being genuwine (and your not), Real (don't make me laugh), and Personable (if only they knew the truth), and really interested in them (need I comment).
We know you only have one goal and that is to play the game and play it well.
For you beginners out there try formulating 5 open-ended questions before you speak to a b*tch.
You can take one subject matter and work it to death by just breaking it down...for example:
1. where do you live
a. do you like it there?
b. what do you like about living there?
c. how long have you been there?
2. where did you live before
a. how long were you there
b. tell me about living there
c. why did you leave
ect ect...just one subject and you will get hoards of info from her little mind. And you will be elevated in her's for taking a deeper than shallow interest.... Whom would you like to spend your time talking too...someone who gets nervous and asks you plain questions or someone who seems to take a true interest in the real U..
Getting a mouth piece is all about taking the spot light off you and putting it on her. Some big mouths will f**k this sh*t up for example take the first series of questions above they will ask it and they tell there sh*t like Oh yeah I used to live there and boy was it...blah blah blah...you get the idea
Don't do this sh*t. Keep that light on her and remain a mystery to her... When she asks you questions deliberately joke around and be vague in your answers.
So you see there is really nothing to talking to fine women except taking a true interest in the real person before you and not her tits & ass.
There are no magic 1st liners...forget that sh*t it doesn't exists. Nothing beats walking up to someone and say Hello! What's your name....Hey Susie, my name is Pimpin, nice to meet you...are you from here? and off you go.
You gotta learn to use the surrounding to spark off a topic. I like to take something in the area and make a funny comment on it as a way of introduction. This way your coming at her from a side angle instead of straight up in her face, then begin my attack.
_________________
Play the game or get played by the game, your choice. In the art of love their are no victims only volunteers.
re:
Thanks for the replies. The thing is women are so hostile with me for no reason and they don't even know me. If I'm with a group of people the girls will talk to everyone except me. I always get the crossed arm look or they just look away like I don't exist. I never noticed this until a friend pointed it out to me.
Thanks for the replies. The thing is women are so hostile with me for no reason and they don't even know me. If I'm with a group of people the girls will talk to everyone except me. I always get the crossed arm look or they just look away like I don't exist. I never noticed this until a friend pointed it out to me.
Ok then...
Well, get your friend to introduce you...make him your wing-man as at the moment all he has done is make you ****-block yourself. Once introduced, whether it be by him saying something about you, that will spark their interest all or just humourous. or purely "hi this is...blah..blah" Just be spontaneous, follow up your hellos etc, immediately with a question....engage her.
Well, get your friend to introduce you...make him your wing-man as at the moment all he has done is make you ****-block yourself. Once introduced, whether it be by him saying something about you, that will spark their interest all or just humourous. or purely "hi this is...blah..blah" Just be spontaneous, follow up your hellos etc, immediately with a question....engage her.
RandomGuy
Don Juan
IF how you described it is accurate then I think you have problems with your body language.
Remember that a person will judge you by the way you dress, stand, act within the first 3 second of seeing you.
So go read Allen's post on Body Language!
Good luck
Remember that a person will judge you by the way you dress, stand, act within the first 3 second of seeing you.
So go read Allen's post on Body Language!
Good luck
Lol.. This thread reminds me of myself...
(well i'll post my thread in point form so it's easier on the eyes...)
Similarities:
- I don't know how to talk to girls at all
- I stall and dunno what to say next when having a conversation with a girl
- I sound different and I need to work on my voice when talking to a girl (any advice on this?)
Differences:
- I am a sophomore in highschool
- I'm... above average to hot looking
- Girls always smile, stare, and hit on me... but I always screw up my own chances (god I hate this...)
- When I talk to girls they are always nice... well... the hot girls are nice to me but the ugly HB4.5-6 are mean to me LOL... (anyone else experincing this?)
Hence... I'm also seeking advice... Advice... not seeking to be flamed... anyone wanna make suggestions?
Yeah... your in almost the same situation as I am...
(well i'll post my thread in point form so it's easier on the eyes...)
Similarities:
- I don't know how to talk to girls at all
- I stall and dunno what to say next when having a conversation with a girl
- I sound different and I need to work on my voice when talking to a girl (any advice on this?)
Differences:
- I am a sophomore in highschool
- I'm... above average to hot looking
- Girls always smile, stare, and hit on me... but I always screw up my own chances (god I hate this...)
- When I talk to girls they are always nice... well... the hot girls are nice to me but the ugly HB4.5-6 are mean to me LOL... (anyone else experincing this?)
Hence... I'm also seeking advice... Advice... not seeking to be flamed... anyone wanna make suggestions?
zzzzzz........
sorry I was asleep
BORING.
S**t like "where do you live" is gonna blow you out. I mean, who the f*ck cares?
What you gotta do is *BE DIFFERENT.* You gotta stand out from the crowd.
You gotta take them away somewhere else, away from the dreary little world full of dreary, frustrated chumps using whack lines on em.
How do you do this?
1) *You pretend you know them already*
2) You ask unique/quirky/interesting/funny/****y questions, or just statements... *out of the blue*
e.g.
"what do you think of my shoes?"
"s**t im missing Seinfeld. what am i doing out?"
"Can I have the address of your hairdresser? Looks like your mum knows what shes doing"
"sorry, how does my hair look from the back"
"funny story. I just walked into (the name of the bar your in) and started talking to some girl. What was I thinking"
"did you see the news? scientists have apparently shown women cant resist men in (whatever your wearing)"
"you know I dont normally talk to women, I guess youre special"
"you've got a bit of... (point to her chin)... theres somethin... (keep pointing)... yes thats it, its gone. Phew I was embarassed talking to you"
"I dont normally talk to girls in red shoes/hoop earrings/black dresses (whatever theyre wearing), its bad for my street cred"
ok ok, most of these are c&f, but the important thing is you *PUT THEM AT EASE STRAIGHT AWAY* by pretending you know them already.
What youre doing is:
Totally *IGNORING* the fact your strangers.
*BYPASSING* the awkardness.
*BYPASSING* the stilted "whats your name"... "Where are you from" small talk that EVERY CHUMP uses. Girls' barriers go straight up to this bs, cos theyve heard these things *A THOUSAND TIMES.*
So, by *PRETENDING YOU KNOW THEM ALREADY* you "sneaking in the back door" (hopefully in more ways than one.) You'll really seem special & unique.
AFK Protector
Master Don Juan
Man, someone please help me with this C&F stuff. Saying, "it just comes to me" doesn't help very much. CAn you get clues from what women say to you? If so, please give examples. I don't do much C&F, cuz I need to learn, but I do say stuff from movies that makes them laugh.
Player_Supreme
Banned
Well I guess this is why I call myself Player_Supreme and you go by ANM. Average Nogame Male.
Your game is wacked. Here is a tip for you. You gotta crawl before you can walk.
You miss read this heads situation. Look deeper. He isn't ready for that Ebook game your spitting.
And what's that corny assed line about the shoe?...I'm laughing my ass off at how weak that shyt is.
I normally promote the C&F routine...since us old timers had it way back in the 70's...and that white dude took it and coined it and is making big bank off it.
You advising a head who can't even hold a decent convo with a woman to act like a text book for C&F re-runs?
Now this is one of the problems with this site. Too many wanna be's giving advice with no real experience. Just junk they read in a book.
sorry how does my hair look from the back Now that is some wack assed shyt....I hope you don't actually try this out their kido. you might get ya feelings hurt.
I'm not attacking you cause you diss'd my advice I woulda pulled your player card just on the merrit of:
"did you see the news? scientists have apparently shown women cant resist men in (whatever your wearing)"
hahahahahaha! I can't stop laughing at how corny this crap is. I think you missed the whole ****y but funny routine.
This is what I was saying about non-alpha's trying to pretend to be alpha's...it comes out all wacked!
I am going to pull this post to re-post at another site...this shyt is too rich with material to laugh about.
****************************
Now kid with the problem. You gotta learn to crawl before you can walk. This crap AMB or whatever his name is spitting isn't real game.
Go in there and just be real...get your feet wet. when you get more comfortable then try the wacky shyt.
From the way you described yourself your going to look like a fool and antagonistic if you try to jump to ABM's junk.
Oh what that DYD fool didn't get is that c&f is used in your whole aura not just the words you spit. when you adopt that whole persona you rarely even have to say anything....just look at the ho...she will bow naturally.
It doesn't take cheeseball corny lines to pull it off...a few words with the right c&f attitude will accomplish what 100 of the above lines cannot even come close too.
Player_Supreme
Banned
Your problem comes from YOU. Your the source of your whole drama. Your standing in your own way.
It doesn't matter how attractive you are and your eventual success at finding a date.
what matters is how you think inside your own head.
If you hold onto the thought that women do not like you...then poof your wish has been granted...they will not like you.
You need to start reprogramming your brain with the thought that" all people including women enjoy my company" and " I am friendly and open to women" and " I find each and every day new ways to make friends"
I think you get the idea of where I'm going.
Look at your choice of a screen name. This shows how much of the problem is coming from just you!
What does your screen name mean anyways.
It should state who you are or how you want to become. Yours is a jumble of words that mean something only to YOU.
But it tells me how you establish your presence in the world. And it's not positive what it says. A confused jumble of words with no real meaning.
Start connecting to life bro. Read the book "how to win friends and influence people" by Carnagie
It doesn't matter how attractive you are and your eventual success at finding a date.
what matters is how you think inside your own head.
If you hold onto the thought that women do not like you...then poof your wish has been granted...they will not like you.
You need to start reprogramming your brain with the thought that" all people including women enjoy my company" and " I am friendly and open to women" and " I find each and every day new ways to make friends"
I think you get the idea of where I'm going.
Look at your choice of a screen name. This shows how much of the problem is coming from just you!
What does your screen name mean anyways.
It should state who you are or how you want to become. Yours is a jumble of words that mean something only to YOU.
But it tells me how you establish your presence in the world. And it's not positive what it says. A confused jumble of words with no real meaning.
Start connecting to life bro. Read the book "how to win friends and influence people" by Carnagie