how do you know when girls want you to approach, i get turned down all the time

[rapidfire1]

Let's be honest. If you are decently looking, you read the advice posting here, and your going up 90% of the time.. there's NO way you would get rejected EVERY time.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself! If you WANT a date, you need to DO something about it!!

Stop rejecting people's advice because you say "it doesn't work", or "its impossible." This is a defeatist attitude and you NEED to change it.

Trust me man, MANY people have gone through what you have been thinking and have OVERCAME it!!

Now if anybody is to help you, we must know more information. Please tell me your latest encounter and how it went, WITH details about the conversation.

<Please take this criticism with my deepest attitude of respect for you, I don't want to come off as too harsh, but it needs to be said.>

sorry, other account reached the posting limit.

this is what i look like, i dont think i am some sort of gq model but i dont think i am drop dead ugly either...no better or worse then most people.

my last interaction was nothing to write home about. i approached the girl and we started talking for a bit and i asked if there was a number to reach her at. she siad sorry she had a boyfriend and i wa lsike 'okay.....' i saw her again afterwards but all she did was show off the jewelry her boyfriend got her *without directly saying* so i was pissed and i dont even talk to her anymore.

 

[rapidfire1]

Let's be honest. If you are decently looking, you read the advice posting here, and your going up 90% of the time.. there's NO way you would get rejected EVERY time.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself! If you WANT a date, you need to DO something about it!!

Stop rejecting people's advice because you say "it doesn't work", or "its impossible." This is a defeatist attitude and you NEED to change it.

Trust me man, MANY people have gone through what you have been thinking and have OVERCAME it!!

Now if anybody is to help you, we must know more information. Please tell me your latest encounter and how it went, WITH details about the conversation.

<Please take this criticism with my deepest attitude of respect for you, I don't want to come off as too harsh, but it needs to be said.>

had to register a new name, the other one reached the limit.

well, here is what i look like

i will be the first to admit that i am not gq material, but i think i am decent and am no worse then most people i see around here (where i live, not hte site), although the funny thing is i have a seen a lot worse looking guys with good looking women. i have made efforts to improve myself, i groom and dress a lot better then before (black jeans and metal shirt).

i know that the advice works, there are lots of people here who benefited, but for me, it just DOESN'T work. i honestly try very hard but get shut down. if it was all up to having the guts to approach, i wouldve gotten women 1000x over by now.

my last interaction was nothing to write home about. i went up to some girl and started conversing. things went well and i asked if she had a # to reach her at because she was interesting. she said sorry, i have a boyfriend. okay. then i saw this woman again and she came up to me and started showing off her jewelry her boyfriend got her, indirectly (she didnt mention him but i knew cause it was heart shaped ****). that was over a month ago though and i havent approached since because for the last little while i've just seriously given up. when i do get somewhere, the girls just usually end up using me until i notice and ignore them.

i understand it needs to be said, no disrespect taken, but i dont know guys what more there is for me to do.

 

[Igetit!]

So,rapidfire and rapidfire1 are both the same person,right? I think you have a misunderstanding about some of the rules on this forum. Here,we have a 10 post limit. That means that you can only make 10 posts per day. You don't have to go and reregister under a new name. When ever you use up your 10 posts,you simply wait until the next day,then you can start posting again under your same name.

 

[rapidfire1]

So,rapidfire and rapidfire1 are both the same person,right? I think you have a misunderstanding about some of the rules on this forum. Here,we have a 10 post limit. That means that you can only make 10 posts per day. You don't have to go and reregister under a new name. When ever you use up your 10 posts,you simply wait until the next day,then you can start posting again under your same name.

sorry, did not know. wanted to make posts to the thread. will chekc back later with my other one then.

 

[scribblec]

sorry, did not know. wanted to make posts to the thread. will chekc back later with my other one then.

basically i saw ur pic and you look like a normal guy nothing hideious jumps out, there should be no reason why u shouldnt be able to pick up girls, ive seen guys who look much worse then you dealing with girls. maybe your aiming to high too quick?

try pulling like a hb 6 and see what happens from there, u need to learn to walk before u run, having these ugly girls jumping through hoops to be with u gives u a different level of confidence which cant be imitated other then actually having that confidence, maybe u should try that

 

[tsmith2334]

Watch each and every video you can find on pick ups. Watch them over and over again. Read The Game. I didn't read DJ Bible, but I read weapons of mass seduction. So read something good to improve your inner & outer game.

Not a bad suggestion, but it's also important to make sure you don't get caught up with approaches following a formula or approaches that come off as forced.

The best approaches are usually a little unpredictable and unpolished. I read this one time here and it's true, "perfect is boring".

I wouldn't rely too much on her body language. Some girls actually do it to try to lead you on (for whatever reason) and not because they want to sleep with you eventually.

I had a girl deceive me that way. I thought she was into me (even had her feet pointing towards me while sitting) but she was just playing ****ty games with me - no nterest at all.

Body language can be deceptive (any IOI can be) , but usually it isn't. The reason why I trust it is because most body language cues a person (male or female) gives off are being made without them realizing it.

Mysterious_Learner, I'd be willing to bet she was physically attracted. She may have not been interested in dating you or hooking up (probably due to another a man in the picture), but the interest was probably there otherwise.

Body language usually doesn't lie, especially the more subtle cues.

 

[daygameguy]

I used to speak ONLY scripts, because I was too nervous, and inexperienced. But with practice and more experiences, I have become a quite a natural if not a complete natural. I have the concepts in my head, and words are simply giving a structure to those concepts. I do bring out canned stuff even today, but it flows more naturally, and I can come up fun things to do and say on the spot.. so what I am saying is, your start will be dirty and filled with crash & burns... so having some canned stuff ready to go, is not a bad way to get more real world experience on how different women react to different things.

After an year of practice, you should be able to flow like water, and become a true DJ/PUA.

 

[Igetit!]

Rapidfire,welcome to the forum man.

Man,I hate to say this,but dude,you depress me. I've heard a lot of people speak negatively and talk down about themselves,but man,you take the cake.
Boy,talk about a black hole of despair. You're whole innergame is nothing but hopelessness,darkness,and depression. This (in part) is why you have such trouble trying to get dates. Whether you realize it or not,you give off vibes about yourself through the way you talk and your body language. You are full of frustration and bitterness,and this comes across to not only the women you try to talk to,but to everybody else as well. Women want a guy who is fun,exciting,someone who enjoys life. They already have enough problems in their own lives,they don't want to be burdened by all the negativity they feel emmenating from you.

Women are emotional man. They can easily pick up on any type of emotions or feeling that you are experiencing. If you are happy,they can sense it,then they will start to feel upbeat themselves. If you're excited,they'll feel a little excited as well. Emotions are contagious. Have you ever noticed that if one person starts to laughing a lot,then people around him will start to laugh too?
If someone tells a sad story,then others around him will start to feel sad too.

This is part of your problem man. You are walking around all down,depressed,and angry,and when you get around women,they feel this,so they avoid you. If I can feel it through my computer screen,how do you think the women who are actually in your presense feel? All they are doing is responding to what you are sending out. If you are happy,warm and inviting,they respond by being drawn to you. If you are cold and bitter because of rejection,and sitting around all nervous waiting for some women to accept you before you can relax and be comfortable,they'll sense this as well,and be repelled from you.

Let me ask you this: If you met a woman who was angry,bitter,resentful,and whenever you were around her,her being this way madeYOU feel uncomfortable to where you couldn't just relax in her presence,would you want to date her? And remember,since women are more emotional than men,these feeling of uncomfort are magnified like 10 times over.
I doubt that you would.

Look man,there are a lot of people here who have information that can help you. I also,am willing to throw in my 2 cents to help in anyway I can. But you need to throw off this "dooms day/the is no hope for me" way of thinking. Even with everyone here,the DJ bible,and all the so called pua gurus,unless you start to believe in yourself,that you can do this,nothing will be able to help you.

Anyway,keep your head up. There is hope.

Peace man.

 

[rapidfire]

Rapidfire,welcome to the forum man.

Man,I hate to say this,but dude,you depress me. I've heard a lot of people speak negatively and talk down about themselves,but man,you take the cake.
Boy,talk about a black hole of despair. You're whole innergame is nothing but hopelessness,darkness,and depression. This (in part) is why you have such trouble trying to get dates. Whether you realize it or not,you give off vibes about yourself through the way you talk and your body language. You are full of frustration and bitterness,and this comes across to not only the women you try to talk to,but to everybody else as well. Women want a guy who is fun,exciting,someone who enjoys life. They already have enough problems in their own lives,they don't want to be burdened by all the negativity they feel emmenating from you.

Women are emotional man. They can easily pick up on any type of emotions or feeling that you are experiencing. If you are happy,they can sense it,then they will start to feel upbeat themselves. If you're excited,they'll feel a little excited as well. Emotions are contagious. Have you ever noticed that if one person starts to laughing a lot,then people around him will start to laugh too?
If someone tells a sad story,then others around him will start to feel sad too.

This is part of your problem man. You are walking around all down,depressed,and angry,and when you get around women,they feel this,so they avoid you. If I can feel it through my computer screen,how do you think the women who are actually in your presense feel? All they are doing is responding to what you are sending out. If you are happy,warm and inviting,they respond by being drawn to you. If you are cold and bitter because of rejection,and sitting around all nervous waiting for some women to accept you before you can relax and be comfortable,they'll sense this as well,and be repelled from you.

Let me ask you this: If you met a woman who was angry,bitter,resentful,and whenever you were around her,her being this way madeYOU feel uncomfortable to where you couldn't just relax in her presence,would you want to date her? And remember,since women are more emotional than men,these feeling of uncomfort are magnified like 10 times over.
I doubt that you would.

Look man,there are a lot of people here who have information that can help you. I also,am willing to throw in my 2 cents to help in anyway I can. But you need to throw off this "dooms day/the is no hope for me" way of thinking. Even with everyone here,the DJ bible,and all the so called pua gurus,unless you start to believe in yourself,that you can do this,nothing will be able to help you.

Anyway,keep your head up. There is hope.

Peace man.

yes, I do admit I quite negative and suffer and it probably turns off people. people have told me that for years now and a some girls i *initially* had success with eventually caught on and got turned off by my self deprecation and told me it is unattractive to women and people and general for that matter. that is fine, but I offer no apologies and don’t know im even doing it most of the time, so I cant help it. I dont want to make excuses, but as I said, I have never been given a reason to be confident since ive been rejected by women my whole life so it is impossible for me to have the confidence of tom cruise. if only I could sit around like most women do and be approached but it doesnt work like that. I am not saying it shold be like that but sometimes I get upset when women tell me to stop being negative because they don’t have to try I have to actually approach and be successful for my self esteem and confidence to rise, unfortuantely I just get rejected and it just plummets further and further, though its been at the same level, zero, for the last few years.

i understand where they are coming from and am not mad at them for rejecting me. i wouldn’t have anything to do with myself either if I was a woman, why would they want to associat with a flawed reject, but since that is not the case I suffer alone. they will of course reject me and not think twice about it, their probably glad they wont have to spend another second with me but they dont know the struggle i go through to get someone in my life and that i try hard. see when they reject me its no big deal to them because they dont go without and can afford to do it but its not that way for me and they dont understand which is why they always so "get confidence, dont be negative" i have no choice like them so i am dependent on them for acceptance. if i was a celebrity i wouldnt have to, but i am just a regular guy and the woman holds my fate in her hands. well its been years now and i don’t expect the situation to change. i have been scarred so much deep down i dont even see myself ever getting a woman. the only reason i even continue is because i am attracted to them though i must have quit hundreds of times and come back for more like a fool and the vicious cycle repeats itself.

yes this is quite sad to admit, but even worse to live. its the is the story of my life. Sometimes i wish someone would just come by with a gun and put and end to it once and for all.

 

[MicCheck1-2]

All women are eventually going to find a mate. Not all men will. Have you ever heard that 80 percent of women sleep with 20 percent of men? It's true. It's just the way the world works. This site is pretty darn optimistic for whatever reason. Don't know why? (I think I've mentioned this before on this site...) It's not fair but life's not fair. It's the raw deal that the male species (not just human) have to deal with. Maybe you should consider finding happiness in other areas of life?

 

[rapidfire]

All women are eventually going to find a mate. Not all men will. Have you ever heard that 80 percent of women sleep with 20 percent of men? It's true. It's just the way the world works. This site is pretty darn optimistic for whatever reason. Don't know why? (I think I've mentioned this before on this site...) It's not fair but life's not fair. It's the raw deal that the male species (not just human) have to deal with. Maybe you should consider finding happiness in other areas of life?

yes i have heard that before myself and i think it is true because all the women seem to be going after the same guy and everyone else who doesnt fit is ignored. i guess its only another reason to quit while ahead. i have thought about concentrating my energies in other areas would probably find a lot more success.

 

[orly]

yes i have heard that before myself and i think it is true because all the women seem to be going after the same guy and everyone else who doesnt fit is ignored. i guess its only another reason to quit while ahead. i have thought about concentrating my energies in other areas would probably find a lot more success.

I have considered castration. Unfortunately it does not completely eliminate desire for women. Otherwise I would absolutely do it.

A sure-fire way of eliminating desire for female companionship (not necessarly just sex) without drastic side effects is apparently beyond the capabilities of modern medical science right now.

I am successful in other areas of life, but I can't take my mind off my failures with women. I'm a man, and that's just how my mind is programmed. So my only choices are either do something to succeed somehow, or live frustrated, stress-out, and overall pissed off. "Taking my mind off it" isn't an option, since it simply isn't biologically possible.

 

[SharinganUser]

Look Rapidfire, Orly, I don't even know where to start with you guys. You guys need to seek professional help.

Whatever you aren't getting emotionally from others, you NEED to be giving yourself. No one is going to love you until you love yourself.

You haven't even really tried to be successful at dating and you are already giving up on yourself.

What if Washington said there were to many Red coats? What if Mandela said his situation wasn't gona change? What if Jesus said Rome is never going to fall? What if Bruce Lee said Kung Fu was to hard?

You two are acting like losers and you need to be holding yourself's accountable for your life. You choose how you live. It's not up to your biology, or women or fate or anyone/anything but YOU.

 

[DarkShade]

While I agree with SharinganUser, I don't think you can just give yourself what you need, emotionally, by yourself. The whole loving oneself is true to an extent, but it's hard to justify keeping a vehicle fueled up that idles in the driveway.

I'll tell you a lil story about a story I ready in philosophy.

In Rousseau's Emile, the teacher/tutor introduced Emile (a boy who knew nothing about females) to a local girl, and after a few chaperoned dinners, Emile was utterly taken by her, sexually. He was so terribly exasperated by the fact he could not have sex with her because it was not proper outside of marriage. (We're talking 18th century) The teacher/tutor of Emile basically ripped him away from Sophie (the girl) and took him to Italy where he introduced Emile to the slums, where the teacher/tutor instructed Emile to send those sexual energies into constructive thoughts and actions, and he did just that, albeit he wasn't very good at it. After several days of working with the poor and homeless, the teacher/tutor took Emile back to France and had Emile and Sophie married almost immediately, because he had taught Emile an important lesson in dealing with his urges. He focused them onto other aspects of life.

I know it sounds like a boring story but it holds true through the centuries. Some people just need to focus their energies elsewhere. Let's be honest though, we all want sex. That's the bottom line. Not all of us will make the 'cut' when it comes to sex and long term relationships, as a whole male species (3 billion of us), but a lot of us will.

To be able to do other things than think and drone on about how bad we want it, we can do constructive things for ourselves and others. I've found a certain pleasure in taking my angers and frustrations out when I am at the gym. Thinking about the idea of feminine superiority p!sses me right off and I'm still sore from the last workout. Maybe you all should think about ideas as to how you can get rid of the useless sexual energy (since you aren't using it anyway) and doing something with it, even if it's dumb.

 

[abcd_z]

A lot of the advice here focuses on inner game. And they're not wrong. For example, if you have problems being self-depreciating, quit it. If you don't see yourself as having high value, how can you expect anybody else to?

But you also need to work on what you say (outer game), not just how you feel (inner game).

Let's quickly run through a few things that may be causing problems for you.

Can you get in a talkative state?
How about a playful state?
Do you know how to be a challenge?
Can you convey positive qualities about yourself?
Do you let her earn your interest? (She'll shoot you down if you show interest before she deserves it)
Can you control a conversation without monopolizing it?

 

[surfdog]

I reckon one of the best ways to feel better about yourself is to go to the gym or just do exercise/physical activity. This makes you feel better becuse of the chemicals (I forgot what it was called?!) that is produced within the human body which makes you feel good.

Also as result of exercising, you'll look better and become more attractive to women and your confidence will soar!

Its all about self improvement here..you're not a hideous looking guy so I don't see why you can't get girls.

Maybe lower your standards abit and go for the less attractive ones first?!? like maybe a HB6 or even 7 right now and just practice on those to get your confidence up.

I wish you luck.

 

[rapidfire]

it's now 4:54 am on a saturday morning, of ocurse i stayed home yesterday night, sulking and hating my life, my anger and frustration growing each and everyday. later on i'm going to have to see the same jackasses at work brag about how they got laid.

yes i know i sound like a loser on here, but how do you think it feels to FEEL like one almost every dya when you step outside and see guys and girls together everywhere?

the thing is even the average looking girls ignore me and reject me as well. when i was in middle school and highschool, sometimes women approached me and told me they liked me, or their friends came over and gave me the information, but they were usually nothing to write home about. i have sometimes approached really good looking ones and got turned down of course, but its funny, most of the girls that have show interest in me, at least in the beggining before it went to hell, were the really attractive ones. of course, since they have guys like andy the stockbroker and ju jitsu dan chasing them, their not exactly going to give themselves to rapidfire.

there are some girls i talk to, some average, some hot, but its just as friends. if it goes further they catch a whif of "INEXPERIENCE" and its over in 5 seconds. then i get 'aw mike your such a nice guy, some day some woman out there will be happy to be with you', yeah, and then every other woman i come across says the same thing and when i finally do get one she'll probably be 40 years old with three kids and disgusting drinking habit. i'm probably going to end up like htat old guy on youtube making videos baout true forced loneliness.

 

[rapidfire]

ok well after reading some of your responses some of you say approach women who have good body language towards me...well, what's good body language and can it be deceptive? upon meeting girls for the first time or saying hi to them i have often got the classic "hair flip/stroke" afterwards is this good? because most of those girls still turned me down after, maybe i messed up the interaction?

 

[SharinganUser]

Dude, you need to go on vacation. Go to a place that you've always wanted to go. The longer the better.

 

[StevenR]

I have considered castration. Unfortunately it does not completely eliminate desire for women. Otherwise I would absolutely do it.

A sure-fire way of eliminating desire for female companionship (not necessarly just sex) without drastic side effects is apparently beyond the capabilities of modern medical science right now.

I am successful in other areas of life, but I can't take my mind off my failures with women. I'm a man, and that's just how my mind is programmed. So my only choices are either do something to succeed somehow, or live frustrated, stress-out, and overall pissed off. "Taking my mind off it" isn't an option, since it simply isn't biologically possible.

Actually, I heard saltpeter works rather well, never tried it myself but I have heard that it kills sex drive. I don't know how healthy it is for you overall since it is an ingredient in gunpowder, but you could try it. Also certain SSRI antidepressants can do a good job of repressing your sex drive, such as paxil, and by the way you write it sounds like you need it.