how do you know when girls want you to approach, i get turned down all the time

rapidfire

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
55
Reaction score
0
because i approach a girl who has no interest. i am not ugly or anthing, i consider myself normal looking but women never show interest in me. i don't see it.
 

rapidfire

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
55
Reaction score
0
i have read some of it. but still always rejected because i can't tell when someone likes me. when i approach it's always i have a boyfriend or just no interest at all.
 

jdon23

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2008
Messages
143
Reaction score
12
You are approaching with the wrong mind set. By thinking that women have "no interest" in you, it will be reflected in your poise and speech.

You have to approach thinking that she already likes you, and is yearning to have someone like YOU talk to her.
 

rapidfire

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
55
Reaction score
0
jdon23 said:
You are approaching with the wrong mind set. By thinking that women have "no interest" in you, it will be reflected in your poise and speech.

You have to approach thinking that she already likes you, and is yearning to have someone like YOU talk to her.
i have tried, but haev been shut down. i have been confident and have tried everything, it just doesn't work for me and its hard for me to go in thinking a woman will like me when ive been rejected so many times. i mean, i try, i do make the effort, but its not enough and they dont care or ignore me. i wonder why i even bother sometimes because i just dont get it and would spare myself the humiliation. the rejection doesnt even hurt anymore, but i just get so sick of it when i think of my lack of success later on.
 

jdon23

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2008
Messages
143
Reaction score
12
rapidfire said:
i have tried, but haev been shut down. i have been confident and have tried everything, it just doesn't work for me and its hard for me to go in thinking a woman will like me when ive been rejected so many times. i mean, i try, i do make the effort, but its not enough and they dont care. i wonder why i even bother sometimes because i just dont get it and would probably spare myself the humiliation.
Your wrong. It WILL work. ALWAYS have a positive outlook. This goes for anything in your life.

Give me a run down on how the last interaction went with an approach. Maybe we can analyze what problem(s) you're running into.

Also remember this:

"you miss 100% of the shots you dont take" - wayne gretsky

It's a simple number game man. Persistence is a great trait to have, and it will produce results. GUARANTEED.

And don't feel humiliated that you got rejected. That takes balls to go up to an attractive woman and start a conversation
 

rapidfire

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
55
Reaction score
0
jdon23 said:
Your wrong. It WILL work. ALWAYS have a positive outlook. This goes for anything in your life.

Give me a run down on how the last interaction went with an approach. Maybe we can analyze what problem(s) you're running into.

Also remember this:

"you miss 100% of the shots you dont take" - wayne gretsky

It's a simple number game man. Persistence is a great trait to have, and it will produce results. GUARANTEED.

And don't feel humiliated that you got rejected. That takes balls to go up to an attractive woman and start a conversation
i know you mean well and i appreciate that, but i do and have tried. if a see a woman i like, i'm not saying i will approach her all the time or even right away, but i do about 90% of the time. i don't like to wonder what if. the thing is ive just been rejected almost EVERY time. thankfully many weren't super rude to me, but they still rejected me (and it's easily been more then 50 times). its impossible for me to be confident when i have nothing to work with...i am just the complete oppposite of what women look for, i admit it myself. i see the guys that are good with girls and i know we aren't similar in the least bit. i am going to read the dj bible again and probably go at it a couple of more times, but i'm pretty much at the end of the line. it's been a good number of years and i'm finally just frustrated and hurt. i guess some people just aren't meant for this ****.
 

tsmith2334

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 4, 2007
Messages
762
Reaction score
16
Location
NC
I'll give you the focal point to start with... body language.

You can tell if a girl finds you attractive based on the body language she exudes. She will, at the very least, let you know she is interested through subconscious cues.

You need an example? I sit next to a VERY attractive girl in class today (8.5- 9) and we know each other on a casual basis.

I was talking to her today in class and saw her interest increasing throughout the class period. Eye contact increased, she played with her hair often when we talked, she fiddled with the strings on her hoody, and the dead give away...

she eventually sat facing me with her legs crossed and pointing in my direction.

Legs crossed and pointed towards an individual is a huge sign of attraction woman inadvertently show, and us guys wouldn't even know it without researching the science of body language. This means the girl is VERY approachable at this point and would most likely entertain the thought of getting to know me better/ going on a date/ hooking up/ giving me her number, etc. Essentially, there is guaranteed interest.

Read up on the subject of body language and indicators of attraction, you won't be sorry.
 

orly

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 29, 2008
Messages
69
Reaction score
1
I'll give you the focal point to start with... body language.

You can tell if a girl finds you attractive based on the body language she exudes. She will, at the very least, let you know she is interested through subconscious cues.
By that, no girl has ever expressed any interest in me ever in my life. Seriously. I've read all about body language, have been observant in seeing "indicators of attraction" being played out amongst other people, and the obvious lack of towards myself.

I can look at a girl, approach, thinking to myself "she can like me". But the thoughts like "yeah right, who are you kidding? The past X girls all shot you down, what are the odds you'll succeed this time?" overwhelm me.

It's like trying to tell myself "You can fly! Just jump off the Empire State Building!". Actually in a sense it's worse, because I've never jumped off the ESB so I don't have empiracal evidence and experience to back it up other than the laws of physics. But with girls I do have empirical evidence and experience that girls simply don't seem to find me attractive, and that feeds into the negative feedback cycle.
 

rapidfire

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
55
Reaction score
0
tsmith2334 said:
I'll give you the focal point to start with... body language.

You can tell if a girl finds you attractive based on the body language she exudes. She will, at the very least, let you know she is interested through subconscious cues.

You need an example? I sit next to a VERY attractive girl in class today (8.5- 9) and we know each other on a casual basis.

I was talking to her today in class and saw her interest increasing throughout the class period. Eye contact increased, she played with her hair often when we talked, she fiddled with the strings on her hoody, and the dead give away...

she eventually sat facing me with her legs crossed and pointing in my direction.

Legs crossed and pointed towards an individual is a huge sign of attraction woman inadvertently show, and us guys wouldn't even know it without researching the science of body language. This means the girl is VERY approachable at this point and would most likely entertain the thought of getting to know me better/ going on a date/ hooking up/ giving me her number, etc. Essentially, there is guaranteed interest.

Read up on the subject of body language and indicators of attraction, you won't be sorry.
don't think of me as a whiny ***** who makes excuse after excuse, but i have. things like the above never happen to me. i have read about the subject many times on this website and know all the signs but women do'nt show interest. i try to make eye contact but women do not look at me and they don't touch themselves or anything. every now and then one might, but i normally will not like her and i am not the kind who will settle for anyting out of desperation, at the same time i don't think the women i like are normally super exotic in and in demand...it happens with regular, cute everyday girls too. they just aren't into me, they probably can tell i am not very confident but that's not exactly something i can help.
 

DonJuan11

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2007
Messages
1,672
Reaction score
35
rapidfire said:
if a see a woman i like, i'm not saying i will approach her all the time or even right away, but i do about 90% of the time. i don't like to wonder what if. the thing is ive just been rejected almost EVERY time.

You have to examine the situation before approaching. If you are not picking the right time, place, or saying the right thing, of course you will be rejected EVERY time.


thankfully many weren't super rude to me, but they still rejected me (and it's easily been more then 50 times). its impossible for me to be confident when i have nothing to work with...

You admit you have nothing to work with, but still don't understand why you've been rejected 50 times?


i am just the complete oppposite of what women look for, i admit it myself. i see the guys that are good with girls and i know we aren't similar in the least bit. i am going to read the dj bible again and probably go at it a couple of more times, but i'm pretty much at the end of the line. it's been a good number of years and i'm finally just frustrated and hurt. i guess some people just aren't meant for this ****.
You have to give us specific examples in order for us to help you.
 

rapidfire

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
55
Reaction score
0
yes, i don't have nothing to work with in terms of confidence because i've never really succeeded, so it's impossible for me to feel good about myself going in. i think this may be counter productive as they can tell. i have never even had a date in my life and i am 20 years old.

i don't really have any specific examples. normally if i see a girl i like, i will try to figure out a way to talk to her. in the past i have opened with a question among other things. they still don't care though. i am not mad at them for it, if i was more adept at it like some of the guys they chase, i probably would have success. i try, but it just doesn't come to me.

the rare times where one of the attractive girls i liked was interested, they soon gave up because i didn't know how to act and they told me themselves later on when i'd ask.
 

ready123

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 16, 2007
Messages
1,260
Reaction score
35
Location
Los Angeles
I wish more people on this board listened to Foundations and the Blueprint

it covers 99% of the sticking points I read
 
Joined
Apr 13, 2008
Messages
137
Reaction score
5
You need to take care of your inner game. Do Gunwitch;

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=46286&highlight=gunwitch+method

As I mentioned in another thread recently I use it all the time and get women in their mid 20's interested and I am much older than them.

Heres a quick cut and paste of a snippet of Gunwitch's words in the above link;

The sexual state, along with the realization that she wants sex, will make you do MOST if not ALL of the actions necessary to be your most attractive all by themselves.

It exudes a "confidence" that,

makes you speak with a better more attractive tone of voice (bedroom voice)
causes you to hold eye contact better and more sensually
causes you to touch her more and more sexually (getting her ready for the sexual encounter)
causes you to keep a level of physical closeness that builds a strong sense of comfort in her
causes you to not pander or be a beggar (as you realize are just as valuable sexually), so,
you don't buy her drinks like the rest of the losers do
you don't give insincere compliments like the rest of the losers do
you don't pander to her to entertain like the rest of the losers do
you don't brag like the losers do
you don't come off sexually androgynous and hide your masculinity like the losers do
And as a result of all this, you are not branded yet another everyday chump hitting on her.

Your single-minded intention, body language, and sexuality prevents the bad "loser" type actions, and nurtures the seductive ones - all in one single state. You are branded a sexual being, boyfriend material, sexual material, IF the requisite physical attraction is there.
 

jdon23

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2008
Messages
143
Reaction score
12
rapidfire said:
yes, i don't have nothing to work with in terms of confidence because i've never really succeeded, so it's impossible for me to feel good about myself going in. i think this may be counter productive as they can tell. i have never even had a date in my life and i am 20 years old.

i don't really have any specific examples. normally if i see a girl i like, i will try to figure out a way to talk to her. in the past i have opened with a question among other things. they still don't care though. i am not mad at them for it, if i was more adept at it like some of the guys they chase, i probably would have success. i try, but it just doesn't come to me.

the rare times where one of the attractive girls i liked was interested, they soon gave up because i didn't know how to act and they told me themselves later on when i'd ask.
Let's be honest. If you are decently looking, you read the advice posting here, and your going up 90% of the time.. there's NO way you would get rejected EVERY time.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself! If you WANT a date, you need to DO something about it!!

Stop rejecting people's advice because you say "it doesn't work", or "its impossible." This is a defeatist attitude and you NEED to change it.

Trust me man, MANY people have gone through what you have been thinking and have OVERCAME it!!

Now if anybody is to help you, we must know more information. Please tell me your latest encounter and how it went, WITH details about the conversation.

<Please take this criticism with my deepest attitude of respect for you, I don't want to come off as too harsh, but it needs to be said.>
 

SharinganUser

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 1, 2006
Messages
1,777
Reaction score
50
Honestly, I don't worry to much about if she is showing interest. Think of it this way, you two haven't even talked yet, so how can she be showing you(a total stranger) signals of interest. Some women these days are so wrapped up in their own world, that you have to get their attention.

Women don't want a guy that needs permission to approach. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING, GO FOR IT!!![/font=15]

Don't go up to a girl with a goal in mind. Just approach her for the sake of making conversation, making her laugh, ect... don't go trolling for a date, kiss or lay, that'll come later.

There is nothing wrong with getting turned down. Don't think of it as a rejection, think of it as a "Dodged Bullet." Because it's her loss and if she doesn't have the smarts to see that you are a great guy, then I think you're better off.

They aren't even rejecting you, it's your approach that they are rejecting. They don't even know you so they aren't rejecting you, just your game. So don't take it personally.
 

daygameguy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2008
Messages
998
Reaction score
27
Location
NY
rapidfire said:
because i approach a girl who has no interest. i am not ugly or anthing, i consider myself normal looking but women never show interest in me. i don't see it.
http://mehow.tv/video/indexFull.php

^^If this guy can do what he does in these videos, ANYBODY can.
 

daygameguy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2008
Messages
998
Reaction score
27
Location
NY
Watch each and every video you can find on pick ups. Watch them over and over again. Read The Game. I didn't read DJ Bible, but I read weapons of mass seduction. So read something good to improve your inner & outer game.
 
Joined
Jun 27, 2008
Messages
20
Reaction score
0
tsmith2334 said:
I'll give you the focal point to start with... body language.

You can tell if a girl finds you attractive based on the body language she exudes. She will, at the very least, let you know she is interested through subconscious cues.

You need an example? I sit next to a VERY attractive girl in class today (8.5- 9) and we know each other on a casual basis.

I was talking to her today in class and saw her interest increasing throughout the class period. Eye contact increased, she played with her hair often when we talked, she fiddled with the strings on her hoody, and the dead give away...

she eventually sat facing me with her legs crossed and pointing in my direction.

Legs crossed and pointed towards an individual is a huge sign of attraction woman inadvertently show, and us guys wouldn't even know it without researching the science of body language. This means the girl is VERY approachable at this point and would most likely entertain the thought of getting to know me better/ going on a date/ hooking up/ giving me her number, etc. Essentially, there is guaranteed interest.

Read up on the subject of body language and indicators of attraction, you won't be sorry.
I wouldn't rely too much on her body language. Some girls actually do it to try to lead you on (for whatever reason) and not because they want to sleep with you eventually.

I had a girl deceive me that way. I thought she was into me (even had her feet pointing towards me while sitting) but she was just playing ****ty games with me - no nterest at all.
 

Maxwell

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 24, 2008
Messages
80
Reaction score
1
I actually have read the DJ Bible, and Pook's stuff, but I feel as though something's missing, like knowing a story word for word but not comprehending its inner meaning.

It just doesn't work for me, no matter what I try. No matter how much I convince myself I am the great catch and act like it, no matter how much I use dominant body language, tease her, etc, I seem to be sending out androgynous pheromones or something, because there's never a spark of interest from her end.
 
Top