How do you keep her thinking about you?

[Bron-Yr-Aur Stomp.]

When you're not around?

My opinion, in regards to atraction, is basicly: the more you think about a person in a positive way, the more you become atracted to said person. It's really quite simplistic in nature, alas, how does one go about keeping a lady thinking about him when one is not present?

If her thinking positively about you is key, then how do you trigger those positive thoughts? I should note that i'm not posing a philosophical query, that is to say, i'm not asking for the fondamental answers here, those can be found in the bible. Instead, i'm asking what specifically have you done, or likewise, what do you think you could do, to keep her thinking positively about you once you're interaction is done?

You're talking to a girl you'd like to attract. Your on your toes, you forget to put your foot in your mouth, your game is tight, you leave, your happy.

She leaves, maybe thinks for a couple of minutes about the interaction, oh what a great guy, he's pretty funny, confident, etc. Then stops thinking about it. How do you prevent this? How do you keep her thinking about it in a positive light?

 

[woods]

The best way to keep a chick thinking about you is to either pyss her off, or fvck with her head, (in the right way) This should be one of the first things you learn. This actually feeds their attraction. Hot, cold, hot cold. Then, she will spend all day thinking "what the fvck is his problem? who does he think he is? First he's a sweet heart, and then he asks me for my sisters #? Then he gives me a backrub, then he tells me my shoes are 'interesting.' I cant figure him out. I'm gonna call him right now and give him a piece of my mind. No, he said I can be a bytch, I better not prove him right.blah blah blah,,blah blah blah." That, my friend is how to be stuck in a chicks head. Hot, cold, hot, cold. They are addicted to drama, so give it to them. They dont want to like you for that, but they can't help it.

 

[The Deacon]

Hot, cold, hot, cold. They are addicted to drama, so give it to them. They dont want to like you for that, but they can't help it.

That's definitely one way of doing it.

Here's what I do, though. If I'm already dating the girl, I get her a simple little gift with a lot of sentimental value that she can carry with her all of the time. Make her a home-made bracelet and give it to her (go to one of those hobby stores or something), and she'll go gaga over it if she likes you. If she wears it with her, then bam, she'll have a hard time forgetting you.

 

[MikeYikes122]

The hot-cold method is good like another poster said, but are you sure you're not just overly-concerned or worried that she might forget you?

IMO, this is more of a confidence issue or a oneitis problem than anything else. If your game is tight and you're confident in it, then you shouldn't be worrying about a girl forgetting about you or losing IL after the two of you finish with a date. If you're concerned about a plate's IL, it also could be that you're getting oneitis for her. Obviously, you wouldn't care about the IL of a girl you didn't give a sh!t about, but a oneitis is much different. When a guy sits around and worries about keeping a girl's IL high, there is a pretty good chance he's getting oneitis for her. And from there, as we all know, it's downhill. Before you know it, you're thinking way too much and over-analyzing every interaction with her.

Granted, you didn't post a lot of details, but it's certainly something worth thinking about.

 

[Rumpelstiltskin]

How do you keep her thinking about you??

I throw acid in her face, thereafter every time she looks in the mirror, she thinks of me.

 

[reset]

When a guy sits around and worries about keeping a girl's IL high, there is a pretty good chance he's getting oneitis for her. And from there, as we all know, it's downhill. Before you know it, you're thinking way too much and over-analyzing every interaction with her.

And the paradox continues to reveal itself, the the more you care about the outcome, the more likely you will screw it up. Women are more attracted to men they can't quite figure out, and those are the guys who don't respond like AFCs, and guys that aren't AFCs don't sit around wondering if the girl is thinking of them or not.

You can't have both. What she is thinking is her business. Time spent thinking about a woman when she's not around should be kept to a minimum, for your own mental health. The more things you have in your life that turn you on, when your passions and interests keep you occupied, there's no way a woman can have that same power over you where you're thinking of her 24/7. This is the place you have to be, in order to be successful with women. It's a lack of desperation, of neediness, which are masculine qualities, which are the very qualities.... that keep a chick thinking about you all the time.

 

[JackPrescott]

You have to play the game. Hot cold. Open communication for hours, then nothing. They HAVE to know that you have a full active life without them. This is a major attraction. You MUST pursue other women, preferably in front of their face. IF a prospect knows you are home thinking about her, she will next you fast. IF a prospect knows you are with another woman, after you have given her some attention, if she is 1/3 ways attracted, this will piss her off. To the point where she may take action to get you for herself. Mindgames.

 

[Dole]

does this apply when your dating as well?

 

[DonGorgon]

the best way to keep a woman thinking about you is to have a profound effect on her...
ie. expose her to different places and thoughts and sounds and smells...
You be different too.
Tell her that she is special but you cant figure out why... she will think its her job to make you know why..
when she tries to please you let her know it was worth it and she did well (not perfect) but well..LOL

When she acts right give her a reward of affection... Women are very much like pets in that regard..

 

[typical]

..... you don't, you have way too many things happening to care if she is or isn't thinking about you.

If she is sweet if she isn't no biggy who cares she's just one of the many girls you met right ?

 

[Bron-Yr-Aur Stomp.]

Thanks for the Slap boys. :crazy:

 

[JackPrescott]

does this apply when your dating as well?

Well, yes and no. If I am dating a woman, and she is sleeping with me regularly, she has brains and taste, and there is no reason for silly games, and mind-fukking. BUT if she is a Tease/Attention Who*re, then it's "Nelly bar the door" anything goes, if I can find an interested woman, and make out with her in FRONT of the AW, then score for me!!! Revenge is a bit*ch.

 

[xectxny19x]

Thanks for the Slap boys. :crazy:

you take criticisms well. you'll be fine afterall.

 

[tick37]

I do this hot/cold stuff with one of the girls I'm seeing, and she's the one always initiating conversation, dates, and whatnot. She cooked for me last night because when I first met her I told her I wanted a woman that could cooked. I hardly ever kiss her for my own reasons. I kissed her last night. She asked me today if she was going to get more kisses from now on. I told her for $10 a kiss. She replied saying it should be free, and I never responded.

 

[Axcell]

I do this hot/cold stuff with one of the girls I'm seeing, and she's the one always initiating conversation, dates, and whatnot. She cooked for me last night because when I first met her I told her I wanted a woman that could cooked. I hardly ever kiss her for my own reasons. I kissed her last night. She asked me today if she was going to get more kisses from now on. I told her for $10 a kiss. She replied saying it should be free, and I never responded.

If I were you, I would have responded with something a long the lines of:
"Well, you're cute so I'll give you a discount of $5." (And than approached with a kiss.) That would have been gold.
Haha, and if the kiss lasted longer than a minute, end the kiss with: "Oh, I forgot to add one more part. It's $5 A MINUTE." And don't forget to have a very cheeky smile while saying it!

Anyway - back to the question at hand of how to get a girl to think about you always. Well, as a DJ, women are PART of your life, they aren't your life; many guys fail to see that. Therefore, one should have other things to do during his spare time. (Let's just use a hobby as an example, such as soccer.) A girl needs to know that you are continuously going out and you have an interesting life. Don't brag about all the plans you have this weekend, but SHOW them progressively throughout your relationship with the woman you are trying to target. This way, she will always be thinking: "Hm, I wonder what Axcell is doing now..."

The hot/cold method mentioned above is very interested. It's basically saying not to be to predictable, which definetly works when sparking attraction in a female and for short-term relationships. However, for long term relationships, I feel that predictability is more important and you should be more stable. So, if you are in a LTR, go with the suggestion above and make a bracelet for her. (Nothing too fancy, but something she will actually wear.)

Don't worry too much about whether she is thinking about you or not, just do your thing, sarge on, and she'll be in your hands in no time.

 

[sherineo]

watch 9.5 Weeks

watch mickey rourke's 9 and a half weeks ....awsome stuff to learn...

 

[JackPrescott]

If I were you, I would have responded with something a long the lines of:
"Well, you're cute so I'll give you a discount of $5." (And than approached with a kiss.) That would have been gold.
Haha, and if the kiss lasted longer than a minute, end the kiss with: "Oh, I forgot to add one more part. It's $5 A MINUTE." And don't forget to have a very cheeky smile while saying it!

Anyway - back to the question at hand of how to get a girl to think about you always. Well, as a DJ, women are PART of your life, they aren't your life; many guys fail to see that. Therefore, one should have other things to do during his spare time. (Let's just use a hobby as an example, such as soccer.) A girl needs to know that you are continuously going out and you have an interesting life. Don't brag about all the plans you have this weekend, but SHOW them progressively throughout your relationship with the woman you are trying to target. This way, she will always be thinking: "Hm, I wonder what Axcell is doing now..."

The hot/cold method mentioned above is very interested. It's basically saying not to be to predictable, which definetly works when sparking attraction in a female and for short-term relationships. However, for long term relationships, I feel that predictability is more important and you should be more stable. So, if you are in a LTR, go with the suggestion above and make a bracelet for her. (Nothing too fancy, but something she will actually wear.)

Don't worry too much about whether she is thinking about you or not, just do your thing, sarge on, and she'll be in your hands in no time.

Wow, Great f'n Post!!! I agree, 110%. A woman who you are interested in, as she is being driven to the point of the bedroom, needs to be intrigued by you. Mystery, and not knowing where you are and what (or who) you are doing works wonders. She needs to know for sure, that you have a full, active life without her. Friends, hobbies, outings, nights out, vacations, ect. A woman who knows you are home alone playing video games on a Friday Night is going to think you are a geek. A woman who knows you are on a date on Friday, while being flirted with, is going to be intrigued. IF she is truly interested, in time, eventually, she is going to give in, and want to be with you, so as to ruin the game of the other women in your life.

 

[Mr. Me]

She leaves, maybe thinks for a couple of minutes about the interaction, oh what a great guy, he's pretty funny, confident, etc. Then stops thinking about it. How do you prevent this? How do you keep her thinking about it in a positive light?

Your premise is incorrect.

Guys believe that they must be present with a woman to get her thinking about you, when the truth is, she thinks about you when you're not there... IF she had a great time with you. That's the answer.

If you're FUN to be with, make her laugh, confident, lead AND end the dates with her wanting more, not chasing her, not giving in to her wiles, being just outside of her reach, with her not exactly sure if you really like her or not (because you're not fawning over her)...

That's GOLD. Then she spends the next week REFLECTING on what a great time she had with you over and over again and WONDERING things like, "Does he like me?", "Is he going to call me? "when is he going to call?" "why hasn't he called?"

Just like the old "he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not..."

Women love it.

And she talks to her girlfriends about you too. "He sounds great! Why didn't he call yet? Is he married? Maybe he's a Player!"

Then what do they do? They figure out how best to chase you. "Honey, next time he calls, you tell him you want him to call you more often!"

I was on a train last night and couldn't help but overhear girls talking about... guess what? The guys they had dates with and discussing how things went and what they like about them and blah blah. I hear it ALL THE TIME.

Would you say that being on her mind in the days following your date, that this a more likely scenario of what women tend to do when they're intrigued by someone, or do you really believe they all of a sudden they cold turkey STOP thinking about you?

 

[reset]

Would you say that being on her mind in the days following your date, that this a more likely scenario of what women tend to do when they're intrigued by someone, or do you really believe they all of a sudden they cold turkey STOP thinking about you?

Good point. I think this comes from insecurity, sometimes guys think if they aren't earning the attention of the girl and getting constant feedback then the girl must not be interested, which is how girl's think, except in the girl's case this is actually what you want. A man being like this doesn't get any benefit.

When you are more of a challenge, sure the girl may not call you like you would prefer (if you need validation) all the time, you should trust that her mind is working overtime and you not being around is perfect. Gives her that much more time to fall for you, absence makes the heart go fonder, not constant contact and checking in to make sure she's interested, again, things that girls do.

 

[Mr. Me]

It's linear thinking. The rationale is "if I'm not there, I have no input".

You know the saying: "Out of sight, out of mind", right?

But there's also the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".

Both truisms. Yet they seem to conflict with each other? How can they both be true, then?

If you don't care much about the absent person, then 'out of sight, out of mind' is very likely.

If you really like that person, then as you dwell on them, pine for them, wonder about them, then 'absence will make the heart grow fonder' is more likely.

A person's mind, their imagination, is a very powerful force. It convinces people better than anything else. It's also our own worst enemy.