how do you become considered a 'lover' in her eyes not a 'provider'?

[pete101]

i have this problem specifically when im trying to game women older than me that i end up being bracketed as a potential provider not a lover. im not interested in being both nor am i able to be both.

usually the problem is the question of 'what do you do'? or 'what is your profession?'

i work in finance/banking but i dont earn that much but they automatically assume i do so sometimes i usually try to somewhat downplay how much i make which could be considered a DLV i.e. i work for a fund/banking BUT im just an analyst or im not paid in $ but a foreign currency.

should i lie about what i do? how do i be considered a lover in their eyes? it seems as soon as i mention finance they expect me to take them fancy places etc etc when im not old enough to be making that kind of money yet.

 

[nismo-4]

I'm a corrupt judge. I lie my ass off to women. These days, there are HB1's over 40 thinking they've got a golden vagina.

If you're noticing a negative trend like the one you're in, you need to change some variables. The fact is that you're doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

I remain a mystery. Don't tell your profession. I tell these women that I'm a hustler. Another thing, don't take these women to fancy places until AFTER you've f**ked. Unless you do indeed want to be labeled as a provider and a chump while your princess is in another castle.

About the above paragraph, it's where Briffault's law can come into play. If you don't know what that is, Google it. But here's Judge nismo's law. My way or the highway.

 

[pete101]

i see what you're saying but they keep pressing me for what i do.. and if i dont say then they think im a loser. it seems like what you say as a profession tells them which bracket to keep you in i.e. lover, provider, not interested.

i need to find a different way of spinning it.. same with where i live, i live in a rich area but i pay very little rent as i'm sharing with roommates so i try to sneak that in early so they dont think i'm some mr moneybags.

is there a better way to be considered lover material? i noticed guys like barmen, DJ's, promoters etc dont fall into this provider category.

 

[evan12]

even if a man is lover when a woman know her could be a provider she hold him as provider ,because women can easely find a lover but hard to find a provider especially in their today's measurements of provider

 

[Packers2010]

I'm a corrupt judge. I lie my ass off to women. These days, there are HB1's over 40 thinking they've got a golden vagina.

If you're noticing a negative trend like the one you're in, you need to change some variables. The fact is that you're doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

I remain a mystery. Don't tell your profession. I tell these women that I'm a hustler. Another thing, don't take these women to fancy places until AFTER you've f**ked. Unless you do indeed want to be labeled as a provider and a chump while your princess is in another castle.

About the above paragraph, it's where Briffault's law can come into play. If you don't know what that is, Google it. But here's Judge nismo's law. My way or the highway.

why taken them to fancy places at all? i mean there 40 most likely divorced. fook that man. i wouldn't be spending money on them.

 

[Mike32ct]

I wouldn't worry about it. She easier wants to b@ng you or she doesn't.

If you're the lover, you'll get it faster. If you're the provider, you might get it slower. But as the provider you still have the right to dump her if she makes you wait too long.

Play the hand you're dealt and don't worry about which one you are. (A lot of it is genetics anyway.)

 

[Caravaggio]

Common advice that I would re-hash here is don't tell them show them.

I do by refusing to wear my nice duds unless its a holiday or social function.

I insisting on just "enjoying each other's company," Art walks, hikes, bars with good drink specials, ect....

My experiences is that if shes into you, she'll drink boxed wine with you in your tiny bachelor flat because your attention is whats important.


If she really wants otherwise, she'll pay for it.

And you will feel like a pimp when she insists on paying for drinks at that fancy martini bar.

 

[Zarky]

Just talk about sex relentlessly and never buy her sh*t. Real easy.

 

[spang]

I'm a corrupt judge. I lie my ass off to women. These days, there are HB1's over 40 thinking they've got a golden vagina.

If you're noticing a negative trend like the one you're in, you need to change some variables. The fact is that you're doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

I remain a mystery. Don't tell your profession. I tell these women that I'm a hustler. Another thing, don't take these women to fancy places until AFTER you've f**ked. Unless you do indeed want to be labeled as a provider and a chump while your princess is in another castle.

About the above paragraph, it's where Briffault's law can come into play. If you don't know what that is, Google it. But here's Judge nismo's law. My way or the highway.

objection, your honor!

not really i just wanted to say that. anyway, ive told women im an entrepreneur even though i only have a small online business. when you tell them that it seems to really spark their interest. but technically im not lying.
i never tried actually lying my a$s off but now i think i will.
sometimes you have to feed them something or they might judge that you have no job or a loser. i think im gonna go with hip hop music mogul/producer next time. i just wont tell them where my awesome studio in the hood is. ill wear lots of gold and have a bunch of 100's in my pocket to show them. that could work even though im white.

 

[zekko]

I've never understood all this business about being a lover versus a provider. Anyone woman who has ever considered me provider/husband/boyfriend material could not wait to have sex with me, and they were always extremely turned on.

I understand the concept (although I haven't really experienced it) that if a girl wants you for the long term, she will be on her best behavior so you don't think she's a slvt. But even then you're talking about the difference between the first and maybe second or third dates. What's the big deal?

In my experience, if you meet her criteria for boyfriend/provider/protector, she's going to want to fvck you. The exception I guess would be girls who just want to use you for money while they screw other guys, but I tend to stay away from these types anyway.

 

[pete101]

I wouldn't worry about it. She easier wants to b@ng you or she doesn't.

If you're the lover, you'll get it faster. If you're the provider, you might get it slower. But as the provider you still have the right to dump her if she makes you wait too long.

Play the hand you're dealt and don't worry about which one you are. (A lot of it is genetics anyway.)

the problem i have is like i say is that i get bracketed as a provider but i can't actually afford to be the provider in their eyes.. i.e. they expect to me be wined n dined and i refuse to but because im expected to because i'm supposedly earnign well they get suspicious and deem me a loser when in actual fact i never was a provider in the first place.

how do i frame what i do better so i'm not considered the provider?

 

[Mike32ct]

You need more sex appeal rather then money appeal.

1. Sexy haircut. This is critical.

2. Work out

3. Wear something close fitting and hot/stylish

If you are really hung up on this lover thing, your looks will have to catch her eye well before your money.

Plus you might be meeting some gold diggers. Whether you are lover or provider also depends on the girl.

Maximize your looks and screen better for who is DTF, not a professional dinner wh@re.

 

[Mike32ct]

The lover thing is all about looks.

A significant portion is genetic like face shape, jaw line, height, etc. The rest we have to try to optimize what we have.

The other thing is to meet her in such a way that she doesn't expect a relationship such as at a bar/club, etc.

 

[pete101]

the problem i have is where i live is a rich area and cos i work in finance they automatically put 2 and 2 together and i get unnecessary sh1t tests.. i dont want to lie but at same time i think my DLV'ing by saying im only an analyst, and i live with roommates etc etc to downplay my money appeal needs to be offset by something else so i'm bracketed as a lover as in they dont put me through the tests of a provider etc.

it might be easier for me to suggest to hang out rather than make formal dates and just escalate during such meetings. i dont know, it's been a real sticking point recently.

 

[stevejabba]

i have this problem specifically when im trying to game women older than me that i end up being bracketed as a potential provider not a lover. im not interested in being both nor am i able to be both.

usually the problem is the question of 'what do you do'? or 'what is your profession?'

i work in finance/banking but i dont earn that much but they automatically assume i do so sometimes i usually try to somewhat downplay how much i make which could be considered a DLV i.e. i work for a fund/banking BUT im just an analyst or im not paid in $ but a foreign currency.

should i lie about what i do? how do i be considered a lover in their eyes? it seems as soon as i mention finance they expect me to take them fancy places etc etc when im not old enough to be making that kind of money yet.

There is a solution to this : you need to establish the sexual frame as soon as possible when you meet her.

So, express intent, be clear and unflinching about it.

They need to slot you into the category of lover not provider but you need to be clear, direct, dominant, lead to achieve this.

 

[stevejabba]

The lover thing is all about looks.

A significant portion is genetic like face shape, jaw line, height, etc. The rest we have to try to optimize what we have.

The other thing is to meet her in such a way that she doesn't expect a relationship such as at a bar/club, etc.

This is really bad advice!!!!

Are you from PUA Hate by any chance?

 

[evan12]

I've never understood all this business about being a lover versus a provider. Anyone woman who has ever considered me provider/husband/boyfriend material could not wait to have sex with me, and they were always extremely turned on.

I understand the concept (although I haven't really experienced it) that if a girl wants you for the long term, she will be on her best behavior so you don't think she's a slvt. But even then you're talking about the difference between the first and maybe second or third dates. What's the big deal?

In my experience, if you meet her criteria for boyfriend/provider/protector, she's going to want to fvck you. The exception I guess would be girls who just want to use you for money while they screw other guys, but I tend to stay away from these types anyway.

that is correct if you are masculine man (sexy man ) .
but a lot of women cant find many men as sexual , but they still want to be with them because they have money . that is what these guys talk about
in early twenties I experienced that ,a lot of women wanted to marry me(because I had stable job ) but non of them wanted to hangout and have fun with me .
so the deal was marry me or dont talk with me ( in my back home country there is no gf/bf terms )

 

[Mike32ct]

This is really bad advice!!!!

Are you from PUA Hate by any chance?

Haha. I've lurked there a few times, but have no ID or posts lol.

I'm not gonna get into a looks debate.

 

[Down Low]

^ Well, you'd better not. I'm from Western European stock. No way no how I'm going to look like the Eastern European and Central Asian Jews who dominate Hollyweird. Or like the big-boned West Africans who were brought to the US as slaves. Classic high and narrow cheekbones are the look that they're all dissing and trying to replace with the exact opposite. Good for me. Tough sh1t for them.

 

[Burroughs]

in early twenties I experienced that ,a lot of women wanted to marry me(because I had stable job ) but non of them wanted to hangout and have fun with me .
so the deal was marry me or dont talk with me ( in my back home country there is no gf/bf terms )

So you're Indian huh

Either women find you hawt enough to fvck immediately because of lust or later as a provider or not at all.

You 'look' like a provider so to women you ARE a provider....if you can't change this 'look' enough to be hawt in their eyes you will be a provider for the rest of your life...

real truth.