How do you “Be the party” and not fall into the dancing monkey trap

[AureliusMaximus]

I'm not a newbie. I was a part of rsdnation, puaforum and many other forums before this. Also ive been trained under many coaches and i teach pickup too. Its true im new to this forum, but that doesnt automatically make me a newbie. Also lets not use profanity, we are all mature adults here.

Appreciate that you're attempting to share something of value instead of just being dead silent lame lurker.
Just because you entered a new community it doesn't mean that you're new to the game of things.

 

[Bandolero]

Talk to different people wherever you are and in social situations or everywhere, don't focus only on women and the "dancing monkey" problem goes away rapidly. You want to be the life of the whole party, not just the life of the party of women whom you want to attract. Work the whole room including men, older people (who ALL have younger family and friends), etc. and let women see you doing that. Get "on a roll" and warmed up before engaging women unless in loud, dark clubs, then go straight to women, but why are you ever in loud, dark clubs though anyway? or other low probability environments? Wherever you are doing whatever, start chatting and cutting up with the first people around. Next thing you know there is a hottie around and it's so natural to slide over to cutting up with her. Use warm kino freely, when she sees you warmly patting someone's shoulder, she is already warm herself.

Just before the holiday last week, I went to a large, casual party. Instead of heading straight to women, I noticed a guy I don't know well but we have mutual friends and I wanted to get to know him better. I went to him first and cut up and talked for 20 minutes before talking to women. Women register this behavior and were then left waiting for attention from me while that guy and myself were having a blast in the middle of the party. During the conversation, the guy showed pictures of a club he's in with attractive women whom he hangs out with as a group regularly, and asked me to join them sometime. That was likely the best new social contact of the party for me and right out of the gate... with a man.

The women at the party, one of whom I am interested in, were more warm due to being made to wait. The first thing one of them said to me was "you are hilarious!" based only on seeing the other guy and me having fun together without even hearing a word of it, just observing. Women are ALWAYS watching you socially, far more than men do and because they are innately narcissistic and self-absorbed, they see themselves in all of your social interactions they observe, even all the way across the room.

Without being obvious, make attractive available women wait at the end of the line in any group where you know most/some of the people there. Let them watch you validating everyone else heavily, and the effects on who you are talking to. Only then go to them and validate them much more lightly than the rest. Warm but a little distant and briefer contact. Works wonders.

EDIT: By the "life of the party" I do not mean cracking jokes and over acting out, I mean getting people talking about themselves and then steering the conversation into humorous directions or relating in stock or even impromptu shorter (1-2 minutes max) stories/anecdotes that bear on what the other person is saying.

This is very good advice now seeing. I wrote something similar but not that explicit on another thread. This routine helped me also a lot.

 

[RSDCharlie]

20 hours of concepts that can be condensed in 30 mins. Owen talks way too much. No offense, but that's why I said I can't take you seriously, you talk like a newbie who has very little experience, looks like you've just discovered RSD. The Julien Blanc scandal exposed them all, they're just a bunch of phonies. Nothing more. All of them. They promote mass approach, most of the stuff they teach is related to night game, lot of fake footage, terrible girls.. Owen switched to self improvement like Julian because they have been exposed. I don't know all of them, but none of them is legit in my opinion. Guys who get it with women don't have time to write thesis and books, start a youtube pickup channel, etc. They are busy dating hot girls.

If you can't see that it's all bullsh1t, then you need to go on the field are learn the hard way, then you will realize that what they taught is basic stuff. Inner game... there is nothing complicated in inner game. They make it complicated to look smart, to look like experts. Of course I've learned some things here and there but not that much, I've learned everything I know through my own experience, after that I could say: no that's not true, yes it is buttt.., he's fake, actress, liar...

No hard feeling bro. I liked Tim though, he was funny. Just my thoughts on PUAs

As ive said before sometimes you might have to go through the garbage to find the nuggets of gold. But its ok, if you dont want to take me seriously, thats totally upto you. I'm here to add more value to this group, and even if one guy can improve his game by reading my posts, thats good enough for me . As for my experience, youre free to learn from me or even wing with me anytime

 

[gg999]

The Julien Blanc scandal exposed them all, they're just a bunch of phonies. Nothing more. All of them. They promote mass approach...

Isn't "mass approach" what we all strive to do? Like approach whenever you feel like it? Or You mean something else?

 

[Jor-El]

Whats this RSD you all speak of ? Google tells me its record store day! But,im guessing,its not that.Nothing gets past me...so,what is it ?

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

If you are attractive enough then you are the life of the party.

Not true, at least not on its own. I went to a lot of parties in my early 20s and I remember in one instance I had people literally say I was the best looking guy there but because I wasn't "bringing the party", they told me it didn't matter, and pointed to the guy who was having fun and ****ing around. Not a 10 or a 9 by any means but to this day I experience a radical difference in how women perceive me depending on the headspace I'm in, even at parties/bars/etc.

Better to be average looking and generate high value than great looking and low value (at least in terms of how others perceive you in a moment to moment basis).

Whats this RSD you all speak of ? Google tells me its record store day! But,im guessing,its not that.Nothing gets past me...so,what is it ?

They're a cult who shame men into thinking they're not good enough unless they approach women constantly and use various shady marketing tactics to lure them into buying their services.

They do have nuggets of wisdom though, and some of their self development stuff is helpful, , and their cold approach game is world-class, but you have to sift through hours and hours of content to extract any practical information from their instructors.

 

[Jor-El]

Ok,thanks chaps

 

[Bingo-Player]

i am about to do a field report of this weekends shenanigans and funnily enough this topic will feature quite heavily

the short answer is you be the party for a constrained amount of time just long enough to demonstrate value , show you aren't a creep and maybe make a couple of people laugh

Then you must quickly select your target and tone down the dancing monkey vibes .... sometimes i will actually befriend a willing dancing monkey from another group and just use him to keep my group entertained whilst i escalate with my target

this tactic usually works quite well but use it sparingly.