how do u get to be confident about ur looks?

[wise_mage]

say, I have good looks but not outstanding. not the sort that catches all the girls attention while walking down the street.
anyway, u know how hard it is now a days. both guys and girls now a days have to look like supermodels to get some attention.
even the ugly chick rejects the ugly guy cause she is saving herself for the local brad pitt, actually thinking she has a chance with him. or the ugly guy never makes a move on the ugly chick that might want him cause he is to busy dreaming about miss local marlyn monroe and their wedding.

now, how the **** am I going to make any progress in the female world if it all comes down to looks and status?

sure, the things this site professes have a nice ring to it. they are a great source of hope. but damn if, u strip things down to its basics, youll see how truly hopeless all this situation is.

now, I feel like getting myself a hot blonde chick. is that too much to ask? I mean, its absurd. I am wonderful. yet girls elude me.

now, if I could be confident about how I look and not so self concious while interacting with girls I think that might help me.

so how do I do it?

 

[Nightspark]

try not to think about it and just act! you can't change your genetics but u can help them by dressing up nicely (that's from one of the articles in the DJ Bible)... so just dont think about it and go for it

btw u'r basically like i was a few months ago... u think too much about it! lol just go for it

 

[Rondavu]

Look the best you can and stop thinking about it. A woman is 300% more likely to reject you because your too aware of your looks than if you are a 5. They can smell your lack of confidence a mile away. It's a self fullfilling prophecy. If you think your ugly than you are. If you don't worry about it then it minimizes the factor as much as possible. Woman don't prioritize looks as much as guys do. It's the truth. Stop worrying and they'll start noticing.

 

[TheLadiesMan]

For the believers.....

You have to believe, (and laugh all you want you sons of b*tches) but, you truly have to believe that the good Lord, didn't create junk, when he got to you. God has blessed us all with so many things I can't even begin to list them all. Sometimes, you have to discover those 'things' on your own, and the Lord slowly reveals them to ya in time, through faith. You got to trust in the Lord, and in yourself. Once you do, the answer to your question will be revealed to you pimpin.


For the non-believers....
We're all here because we were the best out of the million swimmers we were put up against. Meaning, we're all special to a degree.... Now get yo agnostic a$$ in to church you heathens.

 

[Rondavu]

The lord doesn't pay my rent on time bud, I do. I'll thank the good lord when he shows up at my door with cupcakes. Take your holy 5hit somewhere else.

 

[SeldomSeen]

RE:

I will add this reply to a similar post by Robert Greene author of the Art of Seduction in response to anothers question about being ugly
-----------------------------------------------------

" Well, obviously you know where I stand on this issue. I guess you simply want me to reiterate it again. Okay, for the final time. First, get your historical facts straight. D'Annunzio was a brilliant seducer well before he was a war hero or a famous writer. Check it out. I am not making that up. He was an ugly provincial young man new to Rome, starting out as a journalist, in a city where connections are everything. And he seduced. Yes, he was an interesting man and writer, had a way with words. Okay. Not everyone possesses that. But he had an intense desire to seduce and that impelled him to learn and get better at it. His ugliness did not prevent him from becoming a brilliant seducer.

As for Picasso, same story. Although he is not really ugly, he is not Valentino either. His seductive success started out when he was very young, very much starving, unknown, etc. He had the knack, he knew how to seduce.

You forget the Duke du Lauzun. He was short and ugly. His charming, witty personality overcame all of that. Don't tell me that it was because he was a duke. In the court of Louis XIV, being a Duke would not get you women.

Casanova supposedly had a decent face, not handsome, but as he got older he very much lost his looks, but not his seductive touch. Women were not drawn to him because of his face. He had no power, little money. He was a seducer.

It seems that Bill Clinton was getting a lot of women a long time before he became president, or even governor. I know some women think he is good looking, but as a young man he could sure look stupid with his longer hair, etc. He is not devilishly handsome. He knows how to seduce.

I could go on and on. Yes, there are handsome men who seduce, and powerful men who seduce, but there are even more examples of handsome men who repulse women, and powerful men who could never seduce.

If you read the book and believe in the concept you have to drop this inane prejudice in our culture about looks and money. It becomes a self–fulfilling prophecy. An ugly man, if he is able to get out of himself and has the desire to seduce, will early on develop social graces and skills. Disraeli was hideous to look at. So he compensated for this by becoming the greatest charmer in history.

Seduction is psychology. It is not a physical thing. Sex is physical. A woman who is drawn to a handsome man is not seduced in my book. That is simply biology at work. If the attraction has a psychological component, then it is seduction.

I personally do not like all of the crutches people use in our culture. O, I am the victim, I am ugly, my father did this to me, I was never loved—therefore I am off the hook for any kind of irrational or self–destructive behavior.

I do not deny that looks or money or background can have a very big influence on your present life. But you are a lot better off expanding the horizon of what is possible by surmounting these influences. That is why I am personally drawn to stories of people who started with nothing, who were despised by many, who had no connections, yet managed to make something brilliant of their lives. I am thinking of Josephine Baker for instance. Yes she was pretty, but so were millions of other girls in her circumstances.

Unless you can come up with so more cogent arguments in defense of the handsome,rich man syndrome, I rest my case. I will just add that I actually believe that a lot of women are not attracted to extremely handsome men, particularly men who are aware of their good looks. Money and power might work, but it is because it signifies something about the man—he has drive, he has ambition. And of course, there are pure golddiggers out there. But a woman drawn to a man for just his money, there is no seduction involved in that.

Okay, back to my work. End of rant."

R Greene

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Attraction > seduction... So your words hold not too much validity.

 

[SeldomSeen]

RE:

if you're thinking long term no, if you're thinking short term yes...but what good is it to attract if you can't captivate. Thats seduction.

 

[bsmooth]

explain?

Originally posted by Kineti[C]harm
Attraction > seduction... So your words hold not too much validity.

thats like saying the number 4 is greater than the letter D?

 

[TheLadiesMan]

Originally posted by Rondavu
The lord doesn't pay my rent on time bud, I do. I'll thank the good lord when he shows up at my door with cupcakes. Take your holy 5hit somewhere else.

You speak to me, when I ask you to f8ckface... and I didn't ask you, so shut the f*ck up before I come to your door and put my cupcake size nuts in your mouth!! ...DAMN I hate stupid ppl!

Some guy asked a question, and instead of giving advise, some sh*t for brains comes on and openly anounces that he is a d*cksucker... if God or religion ain't your sh*t, DON'T F*CKIN READ IT YOU DUMBF*CK, IT AINiT FOR YOU!


Now remove your dumbass from me, I ain't got no love for anyone who don't believe.... be gone.

 

[b's nuts]

working out can help a lot in your self confidence about your looks. try it, believe me it works.

 

[Rondavu]

You speak to me, when I ask you to f8ckface... and I didn't ask you, so shut the f*ck up before I come to your door and put my cupcake size nuts in your mouth!! ...DAMN I hate stupid ppl!

Some guy asked a question, and instead of giving advise, some sh*t for brains comes on and openly anounces that he is a d*cksucker... if God or religion ain't your sh*t, DON'T F*CKIN READ IT YOU DUMBF*CK, IT AINiT FOR YOU!


Now remove your dumbass from me, I ain't got no love for anyone who don't believe.... be gone.

Do you talk like that in church pottymouth?

 

[TheLadiesMan]

hey Wise....

...listen here... I gave you two options along with the others on here. Both of mine, pretty much say the same thing, gotta look and believe in yourself bro. That YOU, are the sh*t, that you are attractive, that you have mad skills. I know I do, and as much as I want to take credit for it all, I can't. The Lord blessed me with it all... with my looks, with my skills, my charm, with my many experiences, good and bad. I guess the Lord threw in the big d*ck as an added bonus. In any case, I am thankful, and my present gf is very thankful. I guess if you ain't got sh*t, there's nothing to be thankful for. *shrugs*

Like I said wise, take it how ever you want to, but we're all blessed in some special way, which makes us uniquely attractive. When you find out what that is, then others will too.

 

[DopeFiend]

If you're ugly then you are ugly. There's no way to change it. It's all mind over matter. Who needs to dwell on physical features. Just make the best of it and move on.

The lord hasn't done squat for anyone. I'll bow down and worship god when he does something to change the world. Right now he doesn't deserve sh*t.

 

[TheLadiesMan]

Originally posted by DopeFiend
If you're ugly then you are ugly. There's no way to change it. It's all mind over matter. Who needs to dwell on physical features. Just make the best of it and move on.

The lord hasn't done squat for anyone. I'll bow down and worship god when he does something to change the world. Right now he doesn't deserve sh*t.

I swear to GOD there's an idiot convention today! LOL!

it sucks to be you, I guess Rondavu, er I mean Dopefiend.... maybe if you can put down the bong for about a day, you'll snap out of it, and do something productive like kill yourself you sad sad f*ck! LOL! ...f*ckin hippie.

Ok.. just so i don't send a bunch of miserable f8cks into a frenzy... if you don't believe in God, or the Lord, or whatever, don't respond to my post, it isn't for you, don't read it///... if you do, you are SLOW.

If you do in God, God bless you, then my post is for you f8ckers.

 

[MetalFortress]

Aside from LadiesMan's psycho swearing, I agree with him. It was pretty obvious reading his post that one message was for believers and one for nonbelievers, but all the angst-filled rebel kids apparently missed it and started spewing their hate-filled babble here. If you don't believe in God, IGNORE THAT PART OF HIS POST, and read his part for the nonbelievers, and stop spewing drivel.

As for the main point of the post, you are only given so much, it's what you do with it that counts. For example, say you're given a cow. You can either let it starve, rot, a disease and die and make infested hamburgers, or you can take care of the cow, get some fine milk, kill the cow and make some grade-A steak and fine leather. It's the same way with your looks, if you put effort into looking and feeling good, you will look good and be more attractive than if you just sit and mope.

 

[DJnomore]

Attraction>all

But seriously if you knew a girl would give you great sex (best you ever had), interesting conversation, and really treat you right would you be attracted to a 5?

Women are just like guys. Enough say yes to the above that you will be fine as long as the rest of the package is good.


In my opinion the Pamala Anderson types get all the press but if you ever visit HS or College and see which girls have 2-3 guys head over heals in lust over them it is usually the girls that have a unique look but not a "perfect" look (HB7-8). Something about seeing a flaw and thinking that flaw is mine....not all guys like girls with freckles and a funny nose or something like that that makes people imprint. Kinda like she must be special cause its not the looks that are attracting me or I would be attracted to Pam Anderson thing.

Pam Anderson is a beauty but what do you imprint on? How different does she look from blond HB9 with big breasts?



But as far as answering your conversation do something physical very well. Dancing or sports etc. If you have confidence in that it will transfer into your idea about your physical body.

 

[madgame]

Im not obsessed with working out and my life doesnt revolve around it or anything lol, but WORK OUT! You said you had good looks, not overwhelmingly good though or something. Work out and get some muscles, besides dress nicely and wear especially stuff that compliments your body (not those really really tight shirts that come across kinda gay though). It'll take some time, but if say you're average looking now you work out get some muscles, a nice chest, strong arms and everything youll be in the same situation as an average looking female who happens to have big boobs (and wears tops who compliment them). Its really a big plus and youll get a lot of attention from girls, if thats what u want.

 

[wise_mage]

nice post madgame

so I was working out almost daily till some idiot coward piece of sh!t who I hope dies a very painful death and suffers for eternity broke my nose on november. to make a long story short, I am just starting to do excersise again. I jogged like 3 days last week.
anyway, as far as weights go, I ll wait till mid february to start the gym again. working out is great. Its very necessary and it ups ur confidence big time. i feel kinda lousy about not being as fit as I was 2 months ago but Ill get back to that state in no time.
after all Im only 19.

I have a problem with the fashion department though. maybe some of you can help me. I dont have a lot of money to spend on clothes and not a lot of things fit me easily. pls I dont really know where to start but heres some data about myself and the look I want so u can give me some advice on it and a cheap way to achieve it:

Im a 19 year old male
height: 5´8
weight: around 135 pounds
part of the world I exsist in: mexico
personality: laidback, artistic, serene, anti-mainstream
lookI want to go for: Im a musician among other things and I want a cool rocker look. I like the emo look very much. or the look the singer from "the calling" has. skater fashion looks nice on me I guess. I want to mix a bit of glam a bit of goth a bit of emo and a bit grunge into my look. laid back, scruffy, looks good but doesnt give a ****, hes so fit, so fine and what a cool shirt musician dude. thats sort of thing.

I generally dress in pants. but today I wore a pair of baggy jeans and a black sweter and I went to my bands drummers house for rehearsal and his sister said I looked handsome.
now the day before that I wore the same clothes and I went to a restaurant wth my mom and the girls on the table nearby were staring at me. and I could swear that when I came in they said "papi" which means daddy but is used ike a "hes so hot compliment. anyway, all of this has convinced me that what Im missing are some nice clothes. clothes make the man I guess.

but I dont want anything preppy. anything adult looking. I want a look that goes according to my personality. a scruffy grungy interesting look. any suggestions?

by the way - ladies man

I know Im unique and special and blessed and stuff. I am aware of the many great traits I possess (and even of the not so many, yet not so great traits as well). the thing the bothers me and is the reason I posted, is even though I do notice how special I am girls seem to do not.
peace

 

[DopeFiend]

it sucks to be you, I guess Rondavu, er I mean Dopefiend.... maybe if you can put down the bong for about a day, you'll snap out of it, and do something productive like kill yourself you sad sad f*ck! LOL! ...f*ckin hippie.

Ok.. just so i don't send a bunch of miserable f8cks into a frenzy... if you don't believe in God, or the Lord, or whatever, don't respond to my post, it isn't for you, don't read it///... if you do, you are SLOW.

If you do in God, God bless you, then my post is for you f8ckers.

Go pray to your god and calm down. I was just kidding. I just found it funny how you sounded like a preacher. How much more sensitive can you get? Everyone just yanks you around don't they church boy?