How do these guys get away with this?

[zzeitgeist]

I am sure everyone here is aware of facebook and status updates. Recently I've been seeing some funny updates that scream UTTER and COMPLETE AFC.

Here let me give you a few examples:
I'll leave the names out for privacy reasons:

"how did i get so lucky?! no seriously!!!"

"had the best day ever! seeing horses and being with my Ca***** <3 "

--

"∞ I'm so in love with you it just keeps getting better I want to spend the rest of my life With you by my side Forever and ever ∞"

--

Both these guys have their girlfriends in relationship statuses on facebook, so I know what they look like and they are both GOOD looking girls. 8's. Yes, these guys are decent/good looking but nothing INSANE.

So my question is how the hell do these guys get away with writing complete AFC stuff like that. And guys, its not just one update here and there , every week something lame like that pops up on the profile and every week I go back to see if the relationship is still alive(and it is..). I know it shouldn't affect me to much and it really doesn't but a part of me get pissed of.

Here I am trying to better myself and move away from AFCness and then see these types of things and these guys still manage to have girlfriends that I can only wish to have.

Situations like this also don't help when everything they do seems to contradict whats preached here.

Thoughts?

 

[edger]

I am sure everyone here is aware of facebook and status updates. Recently I've been seeing some funny updates that scream UTTER and COMPLETE AFC.

Here let me give you a few examples:
I'll leave the names out for privacy reasons:

"how did i get so lucky?! no seriously!!!"

"had the best day ever! seeing horses and being with my Ca***** <3 "

--

"∞ I'm so in love with you it just keeps getting better I want to spend the rest of my life With you by my side Forever and ever ∞"

--

Both these guys have their girlfriends in relationship statuses on facebook, so I know what they look like and they are both GOOD looking girls. 8's. Yes, these guys are decent/good looking but nothing INSANE.

So my question is how the hell do these guys get away with writing complete AFC stuff like that. And guys, its not just one update here and there , every week something lame like that pops up on the profile and every week I go back to see if the relationship is still alive(and it is..). I know it shouldn't affect me to much and it really doesn't but a part of me get pissed of.

Here I am trying to better myself and move away from AFCness and then see these types of things and these guys still manage to have girlfriends that I can only wish to have.

Situations like this also don't help when everything they do seems to contradict whats preached here.

Thoughts?

That's why I always say, you're going to hear this, that, and that on SoSuave, but at the end, LET YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE BE YOUR GUIDE WITH WOMEN. Like you, I too see many AFC's with hot women(contrary to what this site says), and here I am, the complete opposite of an AFC, who struggles like hell to get laid by hot women. Yup..going on 2 yrs without having gotten laid by a hottie, not counting all the hot escorts here in the States and hot prostitutes from Amsterdam.

 

[Warrior74]

You don't know anything about these guys. They could have gotten caught fvcking her sister...they could be playing that sweet boyfriend role to hide that they are fvcking her sister. They could be using her to pay for college. You don't know. They could both honestly be in love. The could be anything. One message or two does not make a relationship profile. Stop reading so much into other peoples lives and worry about your own. Why aren't you pulling hot girls like them, what's stopping you? Worry about that.

 

[zzeitgeist]

Dude relax. I am not "worried" about them. I am only pointing it out because despite them breaking every rule that would put any normal guy on here in the friendszone they manage to somehow not scare the girl. Thats all I am saying. Obvioulsy the attraction must be high enough for them to get away with this or such things are not nearly as important as they seem. And again its not 1 or 2 messages, its nearly every status update and if they are like this in their updates then some of that has to carry over to their actual personal interactions.

The point of the post is to point out that you don't have to be a "perfect alpha male" to get the girl. At least thats what I am getting from this observation(and also to get feedback on what I am seeing here).

Also I know whats stoppnig me and I am working on it. More than you could ever imagine. I've been working on myself (and not just for girls) since I can remember so don't lecture me about what I am doing when you know NOTHING about me.

 

[edger]

Why aren't you pulling hot girls like them, what's stopping you? Worry about that.

In Zzietgeist's defense, it's not that easy Warrior. Anyone who knows anything about women knows it's not easy pulling and banging hot women by a long shot, even while you're on top of your game.

 

[Ganondorf]

saying things like that never drove my gf away from me. infact, if it's genuine, it will draw them closer.

if the feelings mutual, girls love hearing things like that lol

a real man isn't afraid speaking his feelings loud and proud

 

[oakraiderz2]

saying things like that never drove my gf away from me. infact, if it's genuine, it will draw them closer.

if the feelings mutual, girls love hearing things like that lol

a real man isn't afraid speaking his feelings loud and proud

I agree. As a relationship progresses some stuff is ok to say. Its when people take it out of context without knowing how someones relationship is, you get post like this and other dumb sh*t.

 

[Warrior74]

LOL. I love the replies such as 'dude relax" and "you don't know me!" why so defensive? Did we hit a nerve? Was there some truth in the air? I think so. Seriously. You have no idea who these people are behind closed doors. You have no clue. So why worry about it. Your thread wasn't to prove a point. It was to ask a question about "why them and not me!" It was to whine and moan and get sympathy. So your working on yourself, that's good. Work on less whining and moaning while your at it.

edger. Let a grown man defend himself. Nobody said the game is easy. It's not easy for me either. But no moaning and crying over it. Suck it up and keep it moving.

 

[Jitterbug]

Facebook status updates are full of sh!t. Don't believe them. Those guys could be some mofo pimps for all you know.

When people post over the top BS on Facebook, I know it's shocking to some of you, but they might be lying! The so-called AFCs might have just cheated on their GFs and are doing the FB equivalent of buying flowers & chocolate to cover up the guilt.

Some HB I know was updating her FB status to say how much she misses & loves her BF and can't wait to see him home next week, and then messaged me to see if I want to hang out on Saturday at her favourite venue. She is looking to branch-swing, and is checking out a few eligible guys. You'd think that she's madly in love with her BF from her FB status updates.

 

[cw92]

true story here

my good friend's girlfriend had a status like this:

"I love my baby so much!, cant wait to see him!" (She is a HB8.5)

His read this:

"I love my jitterbug!"

I go to a party, and because she has only met me once she didnt remember me, I said hey, talked with her a bit. About an hour later she is hooking up with some random guy. I then asked her if she had a bf, and she cooly replied "no". I told her I know her bf, and that it was messed up. Sadly my friend didnt want to hear it.

Thats why I dont trust any facebook satuses, those girls may be those guys girlfriends, but they could be fvking other guys on the side. That is one of those things about being an AFC, your blinded to obvious cheating.

 

[zzeitgeist]

@ Warrior74
Wow - you must be half retarded. If you feel my post is useless then see yourself out and don't post in it. I am trying to get input so if your not here to give any then stfu. Your whining about me whining... lol... think about this for a second if you can.

Seriously dude, why go on these forums if your not going to post something at least slightly constructive? And if your so great then you shouldn't even be on these forums... especially at 34.

You've been here for less than a year with 1200 posts... thats laughable. You'd think with this much activity on here you would actually have something to say other than whine about whining.

I hope a 34 year old man can come to the conclusion that whining about whining makes you look like a complete douche.

 

[zzeitgeist]

true story here

my good friend's girlfriend had a status like this:

"I love my baby so much!, cant wait to see him!" (She is a HB8.5)

His read this:

"I love my jitterbug!"

I go to a party, and because she has only met me once she didnt remember me, I said hey, talked with her a bit. About an hour later she is hooking up with some random guy. I then asked her if she had a bf, and she cooly replied "no". I told her I know her bf, and that it was messed up. Sadly my friend didnt want to hear it.

Thats why I dont trust any facebook satuses, those girls may be those guys girlfriends, but they could be fvking other guys on the side. That is one of those things about being an AFC, your blinded to obvious cheating.

Thats what I am thinking. Also its probable that long term this kind of affectionate over the top status will destroy attraction, especially when someone more challenging comes a long.

 

[cw92]

Thats what I am thinking. Also its probable that long term this kind of affectionate over the top status will destroy attraction, especially when someone more challenging comes a long.

thats not to say that every hot girl dating an AFC is fcking another guy

 

[jdon23]

That's why I always say, you're going to hear this, that, and that on SoSuave, but at the end, LET YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE BE YOUR GUIDE WITH WOMEN. Like you, I too see many AFC's with hot women(contrary to what this site says), and here I am, the complete opposite of an AFC, who struggles like hell to get laid by hot women. Yup..going on 2 yrs without having gotten laid by a hottie, not counting all the hot escorts here in the States and hot prostitutes from Amsterdam.

It's easier for a woman to control an AFC than a real man (alpha tendencies). Women get into relationships for different reasons that you could never comprehend.

It's ignorant to think that "nice guys" don't get women. This site tends to bash the idea in your head "AFC = guy with no woman". This is very close-minded. A lot of them do actually. They just don't have any power or control in the relationship.

 

[Furyguy]

They sound like total douchebags. Women love douchebags. Case closed.

 

[Sandow]

Yea, you can't worry about other people. The only thing that should matter is yourself.

But if you want to go there, I can throw in my two cents. First let me just say there is no blue print when it comes to attraction (despite what you may hear from these attraction salesmen). Obviously, girls are attracted to different looks, styles, personalities. Basically girls have different "types" they are attracted to, so that explains why sometimes you say "really him??"

Often, girls don't even know what they are really attracted to. When girls have these AFC's boyfriends, there are so many different circumstances they can be in. Girls often confuse attraction with someone that is really nice. Yeah, he is sooo nice and sweet, so she confuses this with atttraction, when in actuality it's more like a friendship. Hell, she can be banging the a$$hole neighbor every night while she comes home to her "sweet" bf. We just don't know.

Sometimes in LTR, guys lose their sense of aphaness and become soft. What often happens in LTR is after time, she no longer sees her bf as that hot, attractive stud, but rather as such a sweet, caring friend. LTR's and marriages are like this. Guys usually lose their balls and become AFC's. I can explain why but thats a topic for another day.

The point is, we dont know the situations they are in, she may be fvcking some a$$hole jerk on the side, i don't know. Next week she may dump his sorry ass, I don't know. Or she's just that type, i don't know. All you can do is worry about you.

 

[zzeitgeist]

Thanks Sandow. Good point. I suppose it threw me off a bit but I am not going to lose any sleep over it.

 

[sodbuster]

I'm not it the mood to "KISSA$$" to have a hottie. If thats what they have to do on a daily basis-nevermind

 

[Ollie]

Sorry this is so long

Well it's already been said but having those updates doesn't make them inherently afc's. Maybe they just know the game as a whole a lot better than you do. You can't keep a girl by being a hardassed alpha male all the time. Keeping a woman attracted involves pushing and pulling. You pull her in (act afc) for a while and then, when that's becoming routine and she starts to pull away, you don't fight her, you go with her and push her away (detached and alpha). Once she see's you're giving her space, she'll wonder why and want to get closer.

Real world example. One of the girls I'm dating (this one's been like a month plus) recently went on vacation to NYC. Little background, she's 21 and in college with a big social cirlce, dates a lot of guys but gets bored fast with guys. So while she was gone she called me everyday and texted me a lot and I answered every single call and text. I could almost feel the interest level going down as the week wore on. She was really cold acting and apathetic the last time I talked to her, so then, the day before she came home, I sent her a text:
Me: Can I tell you a secret?
Her: YES!
ME: Promise not to tell anyone?
Her: Pinky swear it
Me: I miss you so much and can't wait to see you! I'm so excited you're coming home tomorrow!!! You mean so much to me!
Her:Aww...thanks (didn't send anymore all night)

So the whole time she's gone I keep the contact and act like a wuss, pulling her in acting nice and sweet. After too much pulling, she starts to pull the opposite way to get some space from me. So if I kept acting afc and trying to pull her in while she was pulling away, things would have fallen apart. So I started pushing her away, and that started with that last text. It was way beyond the scope of our relationship at this point and weirded her out, and that's exactly why I sent it. She texted me a couple times when she got back to Cali and was really short like "hey", not the usual long texts she had been sending. I Ignored her texts and all her calls for two days. She went from cold and acting weird to texting me like "Are you mad?" "What's wrong, what did I do?" "Why aren't you answering me?!?!" over the course of two days without my saying a word.

So I called her back a couple days later and she was like "Where were you?" I just said I was busy and left it at that. Within the first five minutes, she was like "So when can I hang out with you again?" Read that again. She went from pulling away and acting cold and distant to giving me a higher value than her, all stemming from my sending her a pathetic afc message. You need to find the right balance for each girl, but acting like a b!tch can work wonders if you know how to do it right. I pull **** like this all the time, sometimes starting arguements and what not, always keeping things fresh and exciting

Now sorry this was so long and drawn out, and probably seemingly off topic, but I just wanted to point out that these techniques are meant to get your foot in the door with girls you don't know and to be used situationally while dating, but there's a lot more to keeping a girl around than simply being an alpha. And on top of all that, once in an LTR, you can say **** like that cause it no longer weirds the girl out.

 

[Telos]

This is going to be a long, informative post.

Yea, you can't worry about other people. The only thing that should matter is yourself.

This is fundamentally bad advice. As an inherently social species, we are surrounded by people nearly every day of our life. The synergy and connections that we create between other human beings forge us into who we are. The fact we all belong to a seduction community shows that our scope of interest lies EXTERNAL to our personal identity. You are not the only thing that matters. We are playing a social game: Seduction is a dance.

You have every reason in the world to worry and analyze other people, mainly because one of the best ways to learn is from other people. In the same way we can learn from the masters, we can also gain much insight from the mistakes of those who are not.

But if you want to go there, I can throw in my two cents. First let me just say there is no blue print when it comes to attraction (despite what you may hear from these attraction salesmen).

Obviously, girls are attracted to different looks, styles, personalities. Basically girls have different "types" they are attracted to, so that explains why sometimes you say "really him??"

There is no objective blueprint, no; but that doesn't mean we can't arrive at verifiable methods of creating and sustaining attraction. There are certain things that just universally hold true due to the simple fact that we are all human. As a starting point, I would argue that individual taste and style is almost always trumped by biology. We are motivated by cultural contexts throughout our day to day lives (for instance, the scenester vegan that refuses to date anyone who doesn't share her passion for panic at the disco and tofu) but ultimately, I argue that such cultural influence is rendered impotent in the face of raw, instinctual, human desire. If you can elicit the approprite chain of emotion, you can almost always overwhelm any cultural barrier.

Other than that, I agree with the rest of your post.