How do regular guys without game get a girlfriend?

[Hamurabimbi]

i assume there is a difference between chasing and pursuing, because despite the progression women have made in society at large or how modern the world has become, women still normally never shoot their shot with men they like, it is still normally the man that asks the woman out or is the one to initiate/escalate.

it is not common. But. Certianlly happens.

 

[MAB]

Women DO approach!!!

Of course they do.

You can always tell the guys who exclusively know the beta-bux side of hypergamy because of their "wisdom" like: "women don't approach" , "women have a lower sex drive" , "women like men who provide for them" and so on.

I'm just really surprised that there are guys like this on a forum like this. I am not sure what's going on here.

Similar. However. The disadvantage of relying on women to do all the heavy lifting is they become the choosers.

How?

As I see it men and women are always equally choosing. I can always choose to reject the women who approach me, which I do 90% of the time. And women can always choose not to approach me in the first place which obviously most of them do.

Same goes if you reverse the sexes.

The only reason there are so many more men in anglo-saxon countries who approach women than the other way around is because they choose to do so. Where I live it's about equally men and women approaching each other.

And gynocentrism needs participants.

If men would just find what's left of their testicles, they would realize that they are and always have been the stronger sex. Men are WAY more able to control their sex drive and achieve greater things in life than women.

In reality even beta-providers are the price. Where I live it used to be the custom that the father of the bride had to pay the groom a large amount to take his daughter from him.

The idea that men have to somehow woo these bitches is completely alien to me.

I don't know what's wrong with all these men. They are choosing to be pathetic simps. I have zero sympathy for these people.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Of course they do.

You can always tell the guys who exclusively know the beta-bux side of hypergamy because of their "wisdom" like: "women don't approach" , "women have a lower sex drive" , "women like men who provide for them" and so on.

I'm just really surprised that there are guys like this on a forum like this. I am not sure what's going on here.

How?

As I see it men and women are always equally choosing. I can always choose to reject the women who approach me, which I do 90% of the time. And women can always choose not to approach me in the first place which obviously most of them do.

Same goes if you reverse the sexes.

The only reason there are so many more men in anglo-saxon countries who approach women than the other way around is because they choose to do so. Where I live it's about equally men and women approaching each other.

And gynocentrism needs participants.

If men would just find what's left of their testicles, they would realize that they are and always have been the stronger sex. Men are WAY more able to control their sex drive and achieve greater things in life than women.

In reality even beta-providers are the price. Where I live it used to be the custom that the father of the bride had to pay the groom a large amount to take his daughter from him.

The idea that men have to somehow woo these bitches is completely alien to me.

I don't know what's wrong with all these men. They are choosing to be pathetic simps. I have zero sympathy for these people.

If I only waited for girls to approach. I likely would have missed one of my most memorable & treasured relationships. I asked her. I doubt she would have asked me.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

If I only waited for girls to approach. I likely would have missed one of my most memorable & treasured relationships. I asked her. I doubt she would have asked me.

understatement, i like the mindset that, men are in default scarcity, but women are in default abundance, i remember Tripp Advice said that.

 

[MAB]

If I only waited for girls to approach. I likely would have missed one of my most memorable & treasured relationships. I asked her. I doubt she would have asked me.

Obviously when you stop simping your life takes a different path. Some doors close and others will open up.

I am also not saying that you can never strike up a conversation with anyone when the opportunity arises.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

yup, another reminder, i think there is some truth to this, men are the only gender that have to go through or deal with social failure, mess up interactions, deal with painful embarassing interactions when it comes to getting better at talking to the other sex, not the other way around.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

yup, another reminder, i think there is some truth to this, men are the only gender that have to go through or deal with social failure, mess up interactions, deal with painful embarassing interactions when it comes to getting better at talking to the other sex, not the other way around.

Women shoot their shot. And fail too. I’m sure that’s just as unpleasant for them as it is for men.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Women shoot their shot. And fail too. I’m sure that’s just as unpleasant for them as it is for men.

well what i mean is, when a guy, man shoots his shot, which is how for all time that it normally goes, there is always the risk of the guy, man, accidentally violating the womans boundaries or making her feel uncomfortable, feel unsafe or getting perceived as weird or creepy, even when the guy, man, had good intentions going into the interaction.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Tell that to the women who failed at trying to chat me up.

well thats interesting, but i doubt any of these women made you feel uncomfortable or doubt they creeped you out

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

I'm not easily uncomfortable or creeped out, but one of them creeped out my tomcat.
She looked okay, when she asked to sit at my table on a terrace with plenty of empty chairs. I figured she wanted to make a closer acquaintance with Klook, but my tomcat became restless and wanted to leave.
I figured he wanted to relieve himself somewhere, so I told her I had to walk the cat. She told me she'd walk with me and I told her it's a free country. She kept chatting me up while I tried to find Klook a place where he could do his business, but he wanted to walk home. I told her I was going home and she asked where I lived. I didn't tell her, just waved in the general direction and then she asked me for my number. I gave her a fictitious phone number and she walked away. The moment she turned the corner, Klook immediately calmed down.

this is a word that is not used or talked about much, but it is social intelligence, or they also call it social calibration, men need to be far more advanced in that than women do for dating.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

I knew something was off when she wanted to sit at my table when there were empty tables, but I figured she was just 'direct' as some Dutch women are and maybe she wanted to pet my cat (not a chance).
Klook was quicker on the take than I was, but I've been around a lot of broken women, so I don't immediately get my hackles up.

i remember i read this powerful statement, here it is:

"It's the learning process. EVERY guy goes through that. Every GIRL goes through similar things, where she reacted in some awkward way to a guy, shooed away a guy she regrets shooing away and now assumes probably hates her, etc., etc. The way you deal with it is by continuing to improve socially, so you can be SMOOTH instead of awkward. This is what everyone does, men and women alike. It is part of the GROWING UP PROCESS."

So in other words, guys, men, will have to risk having cringe moments when approaching girls that result in either making the woman feel creeped out, feeling weird, or uncomfortable, in order to get better? was that ever the case for you?

 

[BaronOfHair]

i remember i read this powerful statement, here it is:

"It's the learning process. EVERY guy goes through that. Every GIRL goes through similar things, where she reacted in some awkward way to a guy, shooed away a guy she regrets shooing away and now assumes probably hates her, etc., etc. The way you deal with it is by continuing to improve socially, so you can be SMOOTH instead of awkward. This is what everyone does, men and women alike. It is part of the GROWING UP PROCESS."

So in other words, guys, men, will have to risk having cringe moments when approaching girls that result in either making the woman feel creeped out, feeling weird, or uncomfortable, in order to get better? was that ever the case for you?

Yep. We gain f-cking nothing when we refuse to take calculated risks. This a fact of life that's been all but forgotten, in this Safeteyism-infected era we inhabit

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

My first lovers basically seduced me. The first one when I was twelve, the second one at seventeen. The first one straight up told me to visit her. The second one asked for a ride home after her bicycle had a flat tyre. My style was to be aloof and disinterested. I didn't bother anyone and made sure to read women well enough to not make a pass to unavailable women. It helped that I looked for 'older' women back then. My first lovers were 8-15 years older than I was. Funny enough they thought I was way older than I was.

in other words, they made a move on you or they were the ones who shot their shot with you?

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

They initiated the seduction.

interesting, did they approach you or ask you out? last thing you would expect women to do

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

The first one was an 'intern' at my father's work and I met her at an office party where everyone brought their spouse / kids. She 'liked my energy' when I shook her hand and followed me around the party talking to me until she found a mutual interest and invited me to her apartment to check out her collection of that mutual interest.
Once in her apartment, she steered the conversation towards relationships and sex, and she offered to teach me how to become her lover when she found out I was still a virgin (she thought I was seventeen and I didn't tell her I wasn't my father's seventeen-year old firstborn son but the twelve-year old third son). I had been playing around with my next door neighbour, but that didn't go further than some oral explorations, so I was interested in getting schooled.

The second one was a female coworker who was always chatty to me. I was seventeen at that time but looked older, she was twenty-four and asked me for a right home on the rear carrier of my bicycle because her bicycle had a flat tyre. She invited me inside, we smoked a joint and she straddled my lap and then it was on.

interesting and epic, people argue and say that males of every species on the planet are the ones that court the females, are the pursuers, but thats not always the case, research has confirmed that one of our closest animal relatives, the Bonobo, they are known to be sexually assertive and initiate mating.

 

[Borknagar]

For every social circle guy who ends up with a cute gf, there are probably 5 or 10 guys in similar situations that ended up friendzoned.

Social circle can definitely work, but the stars still have to be in alignment in terms of attraction though.

Weird thing is I'm in my 40s and never really done social circle game. I think in high school maybe a couple times but to meet through friends thing never ever worked for me.

 

[Mike32ct]

Weird thing is I'm in my 40s and never really done social circle game. I think in high school maybe a couple times but to meet through friends thing never ever worked for me.

Yeah I haven’t personally used social circle successfully, but I’ve observed other guys use it successfully in the past.

Social circle opportunities for me were so infrequent that I usually didn’t recognize the opportunity until it was too late lol.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

yeah, i think the OP of this thread, he has the same mindset to a thread i started back in March, and im sure tons of men world-wide wonder the same thing, why is knowing how to talk to and interact with women, attracting them, getting a girlfriend, common sense for so many men, as in, these men never needed to seek help, they never needed a mentor on how to interact and attract women, they always knew how from day one ever since they started to desire/want women.