How do regular guys without game get a girlfriend?

[Pandora]

I totally agree with you, but I think a lot of women have very messed up mindsets when it comes to dating, making mate choices, etc.

One thing that I believe is not up for debate is that many women have dating ADHD due to the sheer overabundance of choices they have, or at least perceive to have, due to social media and dating apps. A woman in one week today could have more potential suitors than a women in the 20th century would have had in an entire lifetime. This leads to being MORE selective in order to filter out so many different options. However, she will also start to reject men for more trivial things knowing that she has plenty of other options available. It could be some very specific thing like the way he chews his food that results in her going for the next guy. However, the next guy has a laugh that she finds kind of irritating lol. If she does this enough she will find that it becomes increasingly more and more difficult for her to find what it is she is looking for. Sure, this woman can get sex when she wants to, but she will probably find that she is frustrated and lonely as well.

There's also a cultural element going on where women are "boss bitches" where they think they are hot **** or something lol. It's something I've noticed with female friend groups, where they kind of all hype each other up and are way to judgmental towards men. I've discussed this on here and with @SW15 but I grew up in the Boston area and recall this story from new/young female nurses complaining about how there were no men with "brains" in the area, which is ridiculous to say the least. I have multiple theories as to why this is, but one of them also involves them behaving this way as a defense mechanism. Something I've noticed is that some of these women have had experiences with getting pumped and dumped or cheated on. Another thing I've noticed is that they there is also a trend towards bouncing from one failed relationship to the next. I think given enough of these experiences these women internally compensate for these feelings by behaving this way and having this attitude towards men.

I'll also add that many young women today come from backgrounds with no father figure at all or ones that were fairly absent from their lives. The end result of this is many young women that have NO respect for men as a whole or perhaps really don't know how to interact with them. These are the types of women that you'll find chase the emotionally unavailable "bad boys", whilst regularly rejecting men who would treat them well and be invested into a relationship with them.

Bro you are 6 foot 4 and have money. If you are not getting girls its because you are not socially calibrated. I promise that is the reason. Being 6 foot 4 is a cheat code. If you are ever on the East Coast area hit me up. I will get you right with some chicas.

 

[SW15]

I totally agree with you, but I think a lot of women have very messed up mindsets when it comes to dating, making mate choices, etc.

One thing that I believe is not up for debate is that many women have dating ADHD due to the sheer overabundance of choices they have, or at least perceive to have, due to social media and dating apps. A woman in one week today could have more potential suitors than a women in the 20th century would have had in an entire lifetime. This leads to being MORE selective in order to filter out so many different options. However, she will also start to reject men for more trivial things knowing that she has plenty of other options available. It could be some very specific thing like the way he chews his food that results in her going for the next guy. However, the next guy has a laugh that she finds kind of irritating lol. If she does this enough she will find that it becomes increasingly more and more difficult for her to find what it is she is looking for. Sure, this woman can get sex when she wants to, but she will probably find that she is frustrated and lonely as well.

A very average looking woman in the 2010s-2020s active on social media and/or dating apps will have more options that a elite level looking woman/possibly an agency signed model of the 1980s/early 1990s would have had.

I'll also add that many young women today come from backgrounds with no father figure at all or ones that were fairly absent from their lives. The end result of this is many young women that have NO respect for men as a whole or perhaps really don't know how to interact with them. These are the types of women that you'll find chase the emotionally unavailable "bad boys", whilst regularly rejecting men who would treat them well and be invested into a relationship with them.

Good men are often not desired. Good men don't often give women vaginal tingles. Women are looking for "all the feelz" and that's often a result of some aloof bad boy.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Even if it was not approaching—and as we’ve recognized, it certainly was not cold approaching, which wasn’t even tolerated in some societies—men typically have had to display themselves in some way.

Also, females were not “liberated” until relatively recently.

just another guess, i would imagine guys, men, received better education from their fathers or brothers, male family members, about seduction, courting, attracting and interacting with women, they got better help from them than compared to the past couple of decades.

 

[sangheilios]

This happens a lot more than we think. I know a couple guys that are in there 20s and late 30s who are virgins because of just life circumstances. These are decent looking guys too.

One guy his mom died early in his life and he just played too many video games as a cope.

The other guy just grew up hyper religious. Another kid is a medical doctor now and it just never happend for him. He is kinda nerdy and is south asian. Very nice and intelligent person.

The other dude is a nice guy. A good friend of mine who is a computer nerd and it just never happened.

These days you really have to try hard to get puzzy. It wont fall in your lap anymore. The isolation of being a video gamer makes the whole situation worse.

Btw man just travel overseas. You will get puzzy. If you dont get puzzy over seas then its your fault.

In my opinion, I believe all of this is due to a cultural trend where people are less involved with their local communities and becoming increasingly more isolated.

Bro you are 6 foot 4 and have money. If you are not getting girls its because you are not socially calibrated. I promise that is the reason. Being 6 foot 4 is a cheat code. If you are ever on the East Coast area hit me up. I will get you right with some chicas.

That's not true, man. With that said, I actually haven't had dating or anything like that on my list of priorities for a few years now, I've been on a grind and my mission and going to do incredibly well in the near future. I'm actually planning on working a bit less towards the end of this year or into next year and doing more travelling. I recently went on a trip to Vegas and realized I had realized that I had spent the past 4 years on my grind with barely any time away from it. Things have paid off tremendously, though I feel it's time for a change soon.

 

[Manure Spherian]

There's a lot of truth to this.

My opinion, I think there are increasingly more and more young men that totally missed out on this due to unusual circumstances. It could literally be something like they have poor social confidence or skills in high school, so they naturally miss out on this easy opportunity to gain dating experience. They start getting into their 20s and unless they were in a set of circumstances to work on their social skills or have proximity to women their age, the end result is nothing changes. It could literally be some guy that went into the military, or just worked a job or perhaps was majoring in computer engineering or some other male dominated field. The trend you'll find is that they are in male dominated environments with little to no real opportunity to interact with women. Next thing you know these guys are in their mid to late 20s and still have little to no experience with the opposite sex. Women pick up on this, where they feel something is "off" and they naturally reject them. Then the mental cycle continues where they get poor or even no results for their efforts, meanwhile they see other men where things just line up for them with no real effort, which just makes it even worse.

I post this because a lot of what I just wrote was my experience as I've gone from my teens and into my 30s now. I'm 6'4" and in way better shape than the overwhelming majority of men in general. I also have a much higher net worth, though I keep this hidden. I'm a way better "catch" than what these women have gone for but have been rejected a ton of times, while they choose guys that don't even have half of the things I bring to the table. The difference between me and these blackpill types though is that I just find amusement in it and focused on other things in my life instead of ruminating over it.

I'm not sure if you have been following my recent posts in which I've discussed the following about the current day, and why blaming each and every individual young man for not finding a woman is asinine. Sure, as there has always been, there are individual men who have unattractive characteristics and habits that turn off women, and some sad saps who would and will not attract women in their lifetimes no matter what they do. But, as I've been saying, not only are there are now women denigrating men, but men men denigrating other men by young women's "standards", which, in the current day are abysmal and change like the weather.

Anyone can see my previous posts in which I've outlined the outrageous jestermaxxing and hoops men have to jump through from what I've been hearing and reading. And on here, and in other forums, I've noticed a pattern: Gen Xer's (me being one of them) and boomers talking about their sexual conquests while the younger men are showing they are having an extremely difficult or impossible time.

They fail to recognize the following.
1. Boomer and Gen X society was designed, intentionally or unintentionally, for the sexes to meet one another organically. I was tempted to post some pictures of Gen X acquaintances and friends on IG and FB with blacked-out faces to show just how large the cliques of both men and women were back in the day. I am talking about packs of 20 to 30 people roaming about and partying in parks, parking lots, and shopping centers until the wee hours. Do young people socialize like that now? Do young men play ball games at parks while young while women sit on the sidelines ogling at their shirtless bodies? Maybe they do, but I don't see much of that sort of interaction anymore when I'm out and about. People used to meet just hanging out in their towns, in places of worship, parties, through their ethnic communities.
2. 100% female ownership of the sexual market. With their ever-increasingly inflated egos, women ask for and expect whatever they want, and then men must display and jestermaxx in ways likely never seen in all of history (be funny, be a criminal, be a basketcase, act like a woman, "connect" and "get" women's emotions).
3. The increase in price of everything, making it harder for young men to gain resources and impress women. "I had my own home and three children" (at some age before 30) says the boomer.
4. From my experience, young women generally liked men up until the end of the 90's. Some were actually embarrassed not to have boyfriends.
5. The feminization of major social institutions and the demonization of men, including Chads, who some seem to think is invincible and immune to divorce rape and false allegations.

No one is going to convince me that the degree men had to do the following in the 90's and previously (though such expectations were picking up steam) to find women. Normal, healthy men should not blame themselves for not having women in my opinion in the current day, unless they act like total freaks in social situations.
1. Be a criminal.
2. Start a business and be a gorillionaire or somehow obtain high-status work even though university life has long passed (you know, everyone can just do this).
3. Be a f-cking clown who makes a joke out of everything.
4. Act as court jester and MC after work. Entertain women at 9:00 PM on work nights. You have to be funny so she doesn't get bored.
5. Drive a boat or motorcycle.
6. Cover oneself in tattoos.
7. Take steroids.
8. Lift, lift, lift (obviously I love doing this by my own volition).
9. Act like a woman.
10. Go into middle-age panic mode: dye one's facial and head hair so they resemble Bert and Ernie dolls, get hair transplants, go to a barber weekly, or whatever other excessive grooming one thinks of.

And so on and so on. Some older men give alright advice. I believe others are out of touch. And definitely some love to rip on young men for social pathologies they have no control over and cannot fight. Think deeply on why our ancestors concerned about their young men for thousands of years did not allow this to happen and why even now in some communities in the USA who know better, there are hardly any incels. And pretty much most ripping on men comes from others ripping on men for failing to meet the above.

 

[Manure Spherian]

just another guess, i would imagine guys, men, received better education from their fathers or brothers, male family members, about seduction, courting, attracting and interacting with women, they got better help from them than compared to the past couple of decades.

Families were more concerned about who their children mated with. Men had to court women and get their father's approval to marry. I asked my father-in-law out of respect, although I don't think that's expected by many these days. My guess is a huge chunk of Americans do not give a flying f00k about who enters their bloodlines.

 

[sangheilios]

@Manure Spherian

I'm 34 now, so kind of towards the middle of the millennial generation. I believe the biggest variable to a lot of the issues we are discussing here is social media, I include dating apps as part of this. Sure, they had MySpace in 2006 when I was in high school, but it really didn't dominate the lives of people back then. Hell, even facebook wasn't really like this up until like 2012. It's really instagram and tinder that took over the scene way back in 2014 due to smart phone technology becoming more the norm at that point.

I've noticed an interesting trend with Gen Z men, these guys are late teens through mid 20s. They aren't active with the community, but I've noticed that many of them have quite a "red pill" outlook on society and women/dating as a whole. I've actually had many different conversations with men in this demographic about their thoughts on the dating market recently. They seem to be fully aware of how social media has made women more entitled and fussier to where it's more of a chore to date them. In fact, many of these guys have openly said that it's incredibly frustrating and that they really don't want much to do with them. I've also noticed that they recognize that it was very different for older generations. One made a remark about how his grandmother and grandfather were neighbors growing up and eventually got married, and then he mentioned how something like that would never happen today.

Now, in contrast to this, older generations of men don't really understand what these Gen Z guys are talking about because they lived a very different reality than them. I feel like my generation is in kind of a weird spot, because we were still pretty young when these societal level variables changed but old enough to where we still remember what it was like before as young adults and teens. As you and I are discussing here, much of this is due to societal/cultural issues that you really don't have much control over. I think the most important thing for young men is to realize what the hell is actually going on, accepting it for what it is and then learning how to navigate this as best as possible. I've discussed this with many on here, but I believe that we are in the early stages of a population collapse and that there are going to be many huge changes in the coming decades.

 

[sangheilios]

Families were more concerned about who their children mated with. Men had to court women and get their father's approval to marry. I asked my father-in-law out of respect, although I don't think that's expected by many these days. My guess is a huge chunk of Americans do not give a flying f00k about who enters their bloodlines.

This may sound strange to us, but the concept of marrying purely for love is more of a more modern and western thing and would not have been all that normal historically. Concepts like arranged marriages were long the norm in many societies, it's actually still a very big thing even today, India is a fantastic example. My personal opinion, I believe that a lot of these traditional practices and beliefs that you see across multiple cultures are based on many observations made over thousands and thousands of years.

I believe the concept of arranged marriages and/or needing the approval of a woman's father/family was there for a reason, and that's because many women make very terrible mate choices. We can clearly see this is the case in modern America, in fact I'd actually say that many of these women would have been way better off if this was a cultural norm lol.

What we are discussing here reminds me of a conversation I had about how ancient taboos and what not took shape, and more often than not it's based upon observations of behavioral patterns people noticed. For instance, homosexuality has clearly been a part of human history for countless years. However, there are many taboos associated with this to the point where it's almost universal. We can see the handful of times that it became more accepted by societies and notice a pattern that it correlated with degeneracy, corruption of moral values, etc. These people thousands and thousands of years ago noticed some signs of this and wisely placed cultural taboos against it.

 

[Manure Spherian]

One made a remark about how his grandmother and grandfather were neighbors growing up and eventually got married, and then he mentioned how something like that would never happen today.

Book you might like: Bowling Alone. My maternal grandparents met through their families and my grandmother was pregnant at 18.

I feel like my generation is in kind of a weird spot, because we were still pretty young when these societal level variables changed but old enough to where we still remember what it was like before as young adults and teens.

As a late Gen Xer, I can tell you some of these trends already picked up quite some steam in the 90's. I grew up with very nasty young women. And I don't mean nasty as in, "Heehee bro, what do ya mean nasty? Did they turn you down for dates?" No, I mean nasty and rude generally. Even some through the years have told me through FB, "I was a mean kid."

I think the most important thing for young men is to realize what the hell is actually going on, accepting it for what it is and then learning how to navigate this as best as possible.

I suggest all young men read Sexual Utopia in Power by F. Roger Devlin.

 

[sangheilios]

Book you might like: Bowling Alone. My maternal grandparents met through their families and my grandmother was pregnant at 18.

As a late Gen Xer, I can tell you some of these trends already picked up quite some steam in the 90's. I grew up with very nasty young women. And I don't mean nasty as in, "Heehee bro, what do ya mean nasty? Did they turn you down for dates?" No, I mean nasty and rude generally. Even some through the years have told me through FB, "I was a mean kid."



I suggest all young men read Sexual Utopia in Power by F. Roger Devlin.

I was referring mostly to how social media and dating apps took over the scene.

 

[SW15]

I'm 34 now, so kind of towards the middle of the millennial generation. I believe the biggest variable to a lot of the issues we are discussing here is social media, I include dating apps as part of this. Sure, they had MySpace in 2006 when I was in high school, but it really didn't dominate the lives of people back then. Hell, even facebook wasn't really like this up until like 2012. It's really instagram and tinder that took over the scene way back in 2014 due to smart phone technology becoming more the norm at that point.

I was in college from 2001-2005 and am 40. In my freshman year of college (2001-2002), there were signs that face-to-face communication was dying. Many of us were using our laptop computers and AOL Instant Messanger to communicate instead of using landline telephones, cellular telephones, or face-to-face communication. By my senior year (2004-2005), Myspace was a big deal and Facebook was just coming up. YouTube also launched during my senior year.

 

[BadBoy89]

Game is not as well known where i come from. So question is , how are these guys getting hot girlfriends without game?

How can Game not be well know where you are from? Unless you are Amish and living in rural Utah, game exists. Even then.

And you have an internet connection so you in an urban area where Game exists. Thus, these guys are getting hot girls with Game.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I believe the concept of arranged marriages and/or needing the approval of a woman's father/family was there for a reason, and that's because many women make very terrible mate choices. We can clearly see this is the case in modern America, in fact I'd actually say that many of these women would have been way better off if this was a cultural norm lol.

When liberated, some women will bed down with the scum of the earth. Even up until the 1970's women had to be escorted in bars, and as I've said before, even in the West, women were under the thumb of male family members and men had authority in their homes. Men might think they have authority, which they actually might in some cases according their wives and children, but if he gets the nerve to deal with family interlopers and he will be dealt with by the law. My own granddad scared the sh-t out of my aunt for going with the wrong guy. He also assaulted a man who threatened my uncle. Lulz at trying that now.

Often we hear from squeamish people, "You wanna put women in burqas?," when the West had its own way of dealing with such social issues for a long time.

We can see the handful of times that it became more accepted by societies and notice a pattern that it correlated with degeneracy, corruption of moral values, etc. These people thousands and thousands of years ago noticed some signs of this and wisely placed cultural taboos against it.

Yes, that's correct.

 

[Manure Spherian]

When liberated, some women will bed down with the scum of the earth. Even up until the 1970's women had to be escorted in bars, and as I've said before, even in the West, women were under the thumb of male family members and men had authority in their homes. Men might think they have authority, which they actually might in some cases according their wives and children, but if he gets the nerve to deal with family interlopers and he will be dealt with by the law. My own granddad scared the sh-t out of my aunt for going with the wrong guy. He also assaulted a man who threatened my uncle. Lulz at trying that now.

Often we hear from squeamish people, "You wanna put women in burqas?," when the West had its own way of dealing with such social issues for a long time.


Yes, that's correct.

Another blunder in all this, one more thing making marriage as a social institution (not individual marriages) a joke these days is that men are looked upon to be defenders and providers for their families yet can have no authority over them. Does this make sense? No, it doesn't.

 

[sangheilios]

When liberated, some women will bed down with the scum of the earth. Even up until the 1970's women had to be escorted in bars, and as I've said before, even in the West, women were under the thumb of male family members and men had authority in their homes. Men might think they have authority, which they actually might in some cases according their wives and children, but if he gets the nerve to deal with family interlopers and he will be dealt with by the law. My own granddad scared the sh-t out of my aunt for going with the wrong guy. He also assaulted a man who threatened my uncle. Lulz at trying that now.

Often we hear from squeamish people, "You wanna put women in burqas?," when the West had its own way of dealing with such social issues for a long time.


Yes, that's correct.

I believe it was Khabib, the UFC fighter, who made some comment about why women wear burqas. The idea is basically that it discourages women from getting looked at by men, not literally but in the sense of where you stare at their breasts and butt in a lustful way.

I personally feel that we are living in an overly sexualized society, but mostly pertaining to the behavior of women. Whenever I go to the gym I will see almost every woman there dressed with their ass and boobs out, hell sometimes their pants are so revealing I can see their ***** lol. Not that long ago a woman would have been scolded for dressing like that in public, now it's fairly normal.

It's going to be interesting to see where things head over the coming decades.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Families were more concerned about who their children mated with. Men had to court women and get their father's approval to marry. I asked my father-in-law out of respect, although I don't think that's expected by many these days. My guess is a huge chunk of Americans do not give a flying f00k about who enters their bloodlines.

yeah, i'm also saying that, is just a guess, the education, advice, that guys, men, receive from dating coaches/pick up artists, seduction coaches, is apparently supposed to stuff we were supposed to receive from our fathers or brothers, male family members, just a guess. But from what you said, people being introduced, set up, arranged marriage, which is what the norm was generations, centuries ago, did that still involve the man having to court the woman? or were people just introduced to each other out of the blue(such as saying, you should meet this person, or you would be a good fit with my son/daughter) without either the man or the woman pursuing one another?

 

[SW15]

I personally feel that we are living in an overly sexualized society, but mostly pertaining to the behavior of women. Whenever I go to the gym I will see almost every woman there dressed with their ass and boobs out, hell sometimes their pants are so revealing I can see their ***** lol. Not that long ago a woman would have been scolded for dressing like that in public, now it's fairly normal.

While this is likely true, it is also true that a larger percentage of men are having little to no sex during any given 12 month period in their lives.

 

[Manure Spherian]

While this is likely true, it is also true that a larger percentage of men are having little to no sex during any given 12 month period in their lives.

Yes, that’s true and is expected in sexual liberation. There’s not an increase in sex in a sexualized society for most men. There’s an increase in sex for a small fraction of men, a redistribution.

 

[Manure Spherian]

did that still involve the man having to court the woman?

Depended on the society.

or were people just introduced to each other out of the blue(such as saying, you should meet this person, or you would be a good fit with my son/daughter) without either the man or the woman pursuing one another?

I believe this is done or was done in rural India and some middle eastern countries. I do not like this. What I think is far healthier is what’s done by Orthodox Jews, matchmaking. A matchmaker will try to pair up suitable people on dates. If the dates go well, the pair takes things further. If the two do not fit, they don’t continue. All of it is done with the aim of family formation. No game required.

Anyway, that’s not going to happen. Almost no one gives a sh-t about some young ordinary guy’s plight and that’s evidenced by the notion that all men now need to be SPECIAL to get women.

My personal strategy was acting on IOI’s in everyday life and using OLD. I have never gamed or tried to be something I’m not.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Depended on the society.

I believe this is done or was done in rural India and some middle eastern countries. I do not like this. What I think is far healthier is what’s done by Orthodox Jews, matchmaking. A matchmaker will try to pair up suitable people on dates. If the dates go well, the pair takes things further. If the two do not fit, they don’t continue. All of it is done with the aim of family formation. No game required.

Anyway, that’s not going to happen. Almost no one gives a sh-t about some young ordinary guy’s plight and that’s evidenced by the notion that all men now need to be SPECIAL to get women.

My personal strategy was acting on IOI’s in everyday life and using OLD. I have never gamed or tried to be something I’m not.

yup i can believe that, its often said that people and society don't really care about mens problems, but they do about women and childrens problems. Another way to put it, only women and children are loved unconditionally, men are not, as in, adult males.