How do I win her back? Long distance relationship

[FuturePlayer101]

Alright, gonna keep this short and simple.

I'm from the UK, met a Aussie girl who came here to study. I'm in my mid 20's and she's in her late 20's. I got to know her through a friend a few days before she left. We began to like each other and kept in touch after she left..

She's in Australia now & I'm in the UK. We haven't seen each other since she left (around 9 months ago).

Anyway, we kept in touch, talking almost 24/7, chatting, phone calls, Skype etc.. After a few months, she admitted she had fallen for me. I later admitted that I had too. Things were going perfect.

Then.. came this crap. She's a gamer. She plays all the bloody time. 3 months ago, she joined a gaming forum and met a lot of new people to play with. She told me about it too. Soon after, she began to distance herself from me, she'd reply late, make less effort, we began to spend less time together etc..

Things were getting worse and I ended up making a huge stupid f*ckin mistake. I joined her forum (secretly) to see wtf was going on. I found out that she spent all her time either gaming or talking to her new gaming friends.

The problem, she later got promoted to a admin on that site & caught me. She has access to everyone's email add's, IP addresses etc, so I couldn't deny it.

She obviously confronted me & I explained why I did that & after that, things have been sh*tty.. She's pissed off with me & I have no clue how to fix things now. I want advice on how to fix this? I've tried distancing myself, going cold but it hasn't helped. I make all the effort to communicate now.

I kinda feel she's losing interest in me too.. We keep arguing over little things whenever we talk.

I know you lot think I've lost her but I know she still loves me, I last called her 2 weeks ago, I was sick & when I told her that I had been in hospital, she started crying & telling me that she doesn't want anything to happen to me etc.. She still does feel something for me.

I've tried dating other girls etc but what I feel for this girl is different & that's why I want to fix what I did. Any advice, comments and criticism (I know I'm gonna get loads of criticism lol) is appreciated.

P.s. I'm not a stalker or anything like that. I've had gf's, and they've been crazy about me, because I never told any of them that I loved them, never felt it. I guess I was a challenge to them. I told this girl I loved her because I felt it & I do.

 

[user name]

She's on the other side of the planet.

What's to win back???

 

[FuturePlayer101]

She's on the other side of the planet.

What's to win back???

Win her back. We were planning on everything, her moving here & us being together as a couple. It wasn't going to be long distance forever but I've f*cked things up.

 

[Dali_tx_o]

There's probably a lot of people writing why Long Distance Relationships don't work. Before we go on, let's get something straight.

You want to fix what exactly? Could you define this relationship you have?

And before we go further:
Have you had sex with the girl?
Have you kissed her?
In that 9 month timeframe, she is very likely to have slept with someone, especially since you did this crap. Is that OK with you?
Have you slept with someone else?
Does she know the terms of your "relationship"?

 

[JoshSway]

Need more details .. I am still unclear from this if you ever had a relationship to begin with. As Dali-tx-o said .. did you even sleep with her or do anything physical with her?

 

[ArcBound]

Win her back. We were planning on everything, her moving here & us being together as a couple. It wasn't going to be long distance forever but I've f*cked things up.

No, girls like that "romantic" notion of going to a different country where nobody knows her so she can have a fling with a guy. That guy is you. She never planned on making it longterm despite what she says.

And, as the other posters already stated, did you do anything with her? It sounds like you just talked with her for over 9 months. If that is true, that doesn't make a relationship, that makes you a beta male orbiter.

 

[Iceberg]

Alright, gonna keep this short and simple.

Whoa. First of all, this was neither short or simple.

But yeah, man. When all signs point to "This situation is a sh!t show.", there's really nothing I can say. I hope you move on. I hope you find a girl who lives near you. And honestly, I hope you guys DON'T get together, because this entire situation is awful.

Planning to move in with some girl you've never even truly dated. Come on maaaan...

 

[PlayHer Man]

YOU DON'T.

I'm going to admit right now that I didn't even read your post. I just read the title "How do I win her back?". That's all I needed to read because the answer is ALWAYS --> You never try.

B!tches are not prizes first off... so there is nothing to "win". Second: the minute you fear losing a woman is the minute you have lost the game. With every attempt to raise her interest you become a bigger faggot.

Spin plates and move on. Never care more about a relationship than the woman. Relationships are FOR the woman anyway. Sex is for you.

 

[FuturePlayer101]

There's probably a lot of people writing why Long Distance Relationships don't work. Before we go on, let's get something straight.

You want to fix what exactly? Could you define this relationship you have?
I want to fix things with her, basically bring things back to the way they were before the stupid thing I did

And before we go further:
Have you had sex with the girl?
I only met her a few days before she left, so no sex
Have you kissed her?
Yep, I kissed her
In that 9 month timeframe, she is very likely to have slept with someone, especially since you did this crap. Is that OK with you?
We decided to keep our relationship open until we're together face-to-face, that way I wouldn't cheat on her & vice versa. She claims she hasn't slept with anyone since she confessed her feelings for me, part of me believes that because she's either at work or gaming, she rarely ever goes out.
Have you slept with someone else?
Yeah
Does she know the terms of your "relationship"?

Yep

 

[FuturePlayer101]

Need more details .. I am still unclear from this if you ever had a relationship to begin with. As Dali-tx-o said .. did you even sleep with her or do anything physical with her?

I answered Dali-tx-o's questions.. I kissed her, haven't slept with her as yet. Rest of the details are in my answer to Dali-tx-o's questions.

 

[JoshSway]

Dude. You never had a relationship here at all. What you have is a serious case of oneitis.

 

[FuturePlayer101]

No, girls like that "romantic" notion of going to a different country where nobody knows her so she can have a fling with a guy. That guy is you. She never planned on making it longterm despite what she says.

And, as the other posters already stated, did you do anything with her? It sounds like you just talked with her for over 9 months. If that is true, that doesn't make a relationship, that makes you a beta male orbiter.

I don't know, it didn't seem like a fling. She seemed pretty serious about it.

Kissed her, never slept with her as yet. We were gonna spend Christmas together as in she was gonna fly to here, that was the plan until I made that mistake. Now she doesn't wanna see me, she's pissed off.

 

[JoeMarron]

YOU DON'T.

I'm going to admit right now that I didn't even read your post. I just read the title "How do I win her back?". That's all I needed to read because the answer is ALWAYS --> You never try.

B!tches are not prizes first off... so there is nothing to "win". Second: the minute you fear losing a woman is the minute you have lost the game. With every attempt to raise her interest you become a bigger faggot.

Spin plates and move on. Never care more about a relationship than the woman. Relationships are FOR the woman anyway. Sex is for you.

This is your answer. You said that going distant didn't help so now you make all the effort to communicate. If going distant didn't help then smothering her with your undeserved attention sure as hell isn't going to help. I'm not going to get on you about the distance because it looks like you were doing you're own thing while keeping her on the backburner. If you want any hope of salvaging this you need to stop all effort. Let her come to you, let her contact you, let her make the plans to come see you, let her spend her own money if she wants to see you. By trying to fix this you're only digging yourself a deeper grave. Oh and read the damn bible. You have much to learn.

 

[ProdigyX]

It can't work. Girls want attention and you were giving it to her. She ignored you this much for gaming buddies. The reason it's not working with other girls is you've fallen this much for her and still talk to her so you'll never get over her. You need to end it, it's not what you want to hear, but long term relationships are impossible. I've never heard of one where it all works out in the end. Good luck

 

[Driggs]

Win her back. We were planning on everything, her moving here & us being together as a couple. It wasn't going to be long distance forever but I've f*cked things up.

This would be one thing if she lived, say, 4000 miles away from you. And if you had ****ed.

Going through that much effort for a woman 8000 miles away who is being distant and weird and who you haven't even ****ed is RIDICULOUS.

Go out right now-- RIGHT NOW-- and start approaching women in your own town. Forget that aussie *****, tell her to go fck a kangaroo.

 

[sylvester the cat]

i had a LDR once.

with a girl who lived in Sicily.

i thought she was 'the one'.

i'm not sure how long it was until i realised i had commitment issues and that a LDR was a perfect excuse not to commit to anyone in my own country.

i still have commitment issues but you'll be glad to know i don't entertain lDrs anymore.

 

[JoeMarron]

but long term relationships are impossible

LDRs are generally seen as doomed and silly but I think they can work out under the right circumstances and mindsets. First of all the woman has to be a certain type (extremely low partner/relationship count, doesn't frequent bars and clubs, traditional, perhaps introverted etc.). Women like this won't have a platter of new men to sample every 5 seconds plus since they're inexperienced they'll tend to romanticize the relationship more. We all know woman crave emotions and LDRs are full of them (the emotional roller coaster of reunions and goodbyes). The saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" exists for a reason.

Also she has to be more invested in you than you are her. If you're the one spending all the money to see her, calling her, setting up dates, etc. then it's not gonna work out. This behavior is never attractive LDR or not.

There has to be an end date. A perpetual LDR is just going to be frustrating and eventually someone is going to move on and search for better options.

I do agree with the general consensus that all this effort would probably be better spent of a woman who lives nearby but sometimes there simply aren't any other better options. I know that Athol Kay, one of the dudes in the manosphere that focuses on married man game, had an LDR before he got married so they aren't all doomed to failure. Of course this is a rare exception so its best not to get your hopes up too high off of one example.

 

[FuturePlayer101]

Whoa. First of all, this was neither short or simple.

But yeah, man. When all signs point to "This situation is a sh!t show.", there's really nothing I can say. I hope you move on. I hope you find a girl who lives near you. And honestly, I hope you guys DON'T get together, because this entire situation is awful.

Planning to move in with some girl you've never even truly dated. Come on maaaan...

Thanks for the wishes man except " I hope you guys DON'T get together, because this entire situation is awful" - I agree it is but it's my fault. I shouldn't have did what I did.

And we weren't gonna move in together right away, we'd spend some time together and then, if it was all good, that would've been the next step.

 

[Driggs]

I agree it is but it's my fault. I shouldn't have did what I did.

No, it is all her fault. You are interested in her and she doesn't return the interest. If she hadn't been distant you wouldn't have felt you needed to check up on her. You checked up on her and found out that her story was BS.

Forget her.

 

[FuturePlayer101]

YOU DON'T.

I'm going to admit right now that I didn't even read your post. I just read the title "How do I win her back?". That's all I needed to read because the answer is ALWAYS --> You never try.

B!tches are not prizes first off... so there is nothing to "win". Second: the minute you fear losing a woman is the minute you have lost the game. With every attempt to raise her interest you become a bigger faggot.

Spin plates and move on. Never care more about a relationship than the woman. Relationships are FOR the woman anyway. Sex is for you.

Thanks for NOT reading my post then lol.

I KNOW I am the prize. She knows it too otherwise she would've told me to f*ck off as soon as she found out I was on her forum. But she knows my worth so she's still into me but pissed off.

Tbh, I prefer a relationship to gaming loads of girls, done both & I'm more of a relationship kinda person. You know, being with a girl you care for, who cares for you, rather than treating each other like a piece of meat.. That's just me mate..