See Adone, I just knew that. We had some exchange about this your height thing some time back, you were saying out loud that "you don't care", that you were simply "curious". I knew you do care, but it's ok, I admit that I went through the same thing in my younger years (basically high school and early college).
Let me start by sharing a few things with you.
The first time I seriously realized that I'm not tall was when I was 14. Some other kid was "jokingly" saying some disrespectful things to me. I did what many would have done/said, "shut the fvck up or I will beat the living sh*t out of you" in a badass manner. Only to realize that it's not like in the movies. Due to my size and especially my height (1m74 or 5'8-5'9), it had no credibility. And it only got worse throughout the highschool years: most other kids were at least 1m80 (5'11).
At some point I got so self conscious that I was whining to my parents about how they gave me bad genes, that as smart as I am, as supposedly attractive as my face could be, it's all useless, "because I'm so short!"
Then came college. I went for the fench elite engineering programs. Life was basically study study and study some more (first two years). Later on when it was partytime, no attractive girls were to be found. What do you expect? It's a top engineering college. But one thing I learned through these years without knowing it (I realized that only later) is how to command respect.
Just imagine a campus filled with smart, successful and many times athletic young males, with no decent females to release the tension (I think you get what I mean). It was a highly testosterone charged environment. If you want respect, you need to earn it, and it's not easy. It's not as hard as the army, because the setting is different, but the dynamics behind is pretty similar. When I first started, I was just an average dude at best. But when I finished school, I was transformed into a very outgoing and social person with many talents that many people know about on campus.
Then I came to the US for my graduate studies. It was the first time I set foot on a huge 50% male %50 female campus filled with tons of young hotties in their early 20s. My heart was beating so fast that I felt like a textbook nerd from Hollywood movies. Because although I had extensive social experience. I "knew very little" about women.
But very soon, I realized that the social intelligence and charisma that I acquired all these years were going to serve me well.
To make the story short. By the time I left the US two years later, I didn't have any insecurities anymore. My social intelligence plus the positive experiences with beautiful females helped me to make peace with my body image, especially with my height.
Why am I telling you all this? So you can see that when I say "it's mostly all in your head", it's not some keyboard jockey typing wishful thinking.
In my case, what helped me grow out of it was my social intelligence (so I never had to be tall or huge to command respect from people) and the realization that I have a face that's attractive to the hot girls
I am interested in.
See here comes another pitfall in the usual "damn I'm too short" mentality. You are "too short" for
what? standing at 5'8, do you get turned down by hot chicks
all the time as a
direct consequence of your
sole height? I don't think so...
It's more like "damn, if I meet a 5'9 gorgeous leggy blond, most likely she's not even gonna look at me before blowing me off...
" thing in your head. I'm sure it didn't really happen (or not that much) in your real life, but just the thought of it creates this indescribable frustration. Am I right?
I used to be the same...:yes:
Now just understand that you don't need "everything" so that every hypothetical HB you might meet will be attracted to you. You can't get all the HBs in this world to like you right? And you don't need that either. If you get positive vibes from most HBs you actually do meet in your life, itsn't that enough?
You need to realize that it's never as bad as you think. I don't know about you, but I just happen to prefer taller girls (5'7-5'9), maybe as a subconscious consequence of my earlier self hatred about my height...
So you would expect my situation to be really bad... That's also what I felt and thought until this gorgeous leggy 5'8 german/french HB10 fell in love with me...
The conclusion? Maybe this doesn't sound politically correct and goes against the "everything can be made possible" cherished and venerated by many. But
I think if you are indeed a guy who has great things to offer, eventually very positive experiences with HBs will make you grow out of your complex. It might be next week, or in a couple of years, or it might never happen if you actually are just a whiney loser...
And I will finish with a few more "classic" rationalizations
:
- I remember you said you are Italian right? I thought you live in Italy. Because in Itay, 5'8 is exactly the average height for young males. You defintely wouldn't be considered tall, but clearly not short. It's like 5'10 or 5'11 in the US.
- You also said you lift weight, so I suppose you don't have a skinny/bony/nerdy build that command no respect from people
- I also remember that yous said you have an attractive face. So if you were not lying and if you are not mythomaniac, you will do fine with most HBs. I know for a fact that many times, an attractive face can make up for an average height.
