We are not more than friends... Well it's complicated we've been seeing each other on and off since last spring, sometimes no talking for over a month or so at a time. We've both seen other people because of living different places and countries and such (moving around a lot). But she clearly said let's just be friends to me twice in the whole ordeal. Once after I was overseas for a couple months and came back she said she had a boyfriend, which lasted about 2 weeks. I acted not concerned and said I never said we had to be a couple (playing it the non-jealous way that we learn here). I then visited her and she invited me into her room and complimented how I look, etc... I told her I had dinner plans and couldn't stay (I wanted to make her jealous). I actually ended up hooking up with another girl I met that night (if I hadn't I would have been a wreck).
A few months later I ask her to visit, she says she can't, a few weeks later she says she'll be in town and does spend the night. I convince her to sleep with me, she fine with me kissing her and touching her downstairs. She wasn't feeling well, so I didn't push for sex beyond that. But during that visit she talked about my ambition and having a wife and kids someday. She complimented my looks again. She was talkative with me by text the next few days.
Valentines day came and she asked about how I spent it. But at the same time she's made a couple visits to my city without telling me or coordinating, her best friend lives here by the way. And she was here for her best friends wedding. Sometimes I initiate chats with her (I usually try to do so sparingly) and just the past few days I did so and started trying to flirt a little over chat. Sometimes she's receptive to it but this time she said halted an easy going conversation with; "myname I want to make something clear, I don't flirt with you, you are a decent guy but not always, I think of you as just a friend. I don't even think we can be a couple." I responded like "wow, we are only friends where is all of this coming from?" and she was like "good". She then talked about the fantasy type of guy she was looking for and I tried to play into it but she dropped offline. I did not handle that well and probably sounded desperate at the end.
My only thoughts to recover from this are to ignore her for at least a month or so and start seeing someone else...
Sometimes I think she is just trying to test me or make me jealous, sometimes I think she is genuinely disinterested. It is difficult to tell.
