How do I not get flaked on here?

FinallyAlpha

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Cute, 23 y.o., we've been talking almost 2 weeks, only able to arrange date now due to her and my work and my travel, interest level seems high, she texted first twice so far this week.

What should I say next here? I don't want my time wasted again. If it were up to me, I would just say "if this is too much for you, we should just leave it, it's better not to risk wasting each other's time". But I... guess that's not good game. She seems like the anxious / love bombing type. Which is... also the flaky type?

Maybe I should video call her...? I fvcked a different woman from OLD 2 weeks ago. We matched, I video called her, and she was in my apartment the following night. So maybe the video call helps to relieve this mad anxiety they have?
 

Stoic

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Op, how did things turn out and what was learned?
 

StonerT

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Your response after you already set up the date was much. Keep it light and you don't need to explain how fun you are and every details of what you are going to do on the date.

Her last message was a **** test. Keep her on read and don't reply till you meet
 

Men frequently err by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're impressing the women when, in reality, they're depressing the women.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Stoic

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“I’m a joy to be around”
Lol you gotta stop using that line, sounds like something from Mr Roger’s book of game.
actually Mr. Rogers smashed a lot of chicks
 

Dr.Suave

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What should I say next here?
"Im not looking for anything specific but Im open to every possibility as long as its the right person" or something like that.
 

RobbyDog

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"Im not looking for anything specific but Im open to every possibility as long as its the right person" or something like that.
I absolutely hate the “what are you looking for” question. I would say “Well I’m Looking for my car keys right now”. Make her hamster run.
 

FinallyAlpha

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First night lay, last night.

There was actually quite a bit of texting since Wednesday. On Friday I cancelled the Sunday afternoon date (because work came up for me Sunday day-time) and proposed ice cream and movies Sunday night. She was on board. This was a good indicator for me as it showed strong interest still when I thought it might be waning (making me want to nuke the date altogether) (and, hence the flaking concern).

Yesterday, there was some manoeuvring over text in the lead up to the date as she was expressing a lot of nerves.

1685990108689.png

Then she ended up being late as hell. I tactically messaged before I Ubered from my place into town (as flake insurance), and she said "no. wait. I'm not ready yet.". She was messaging that she had tried on 7 different outfits, whether she should wear makeup, warning me that she was going to wear glasses etc.

She also messaged me twice that she was naked, which communicated to me that she was horny.

I waited at my place until 30 minutes after our supposed meet-up time, and I was getting a little close to calling it, as I didn't want to be travelling in and out of town late. She eventually goes "I'm ready. I don't want to go to the centre." So I invited her to the mall right by my place where we would have dining and movie options. She ubered straight over.

This was a big W in my mind as it saved me ubering into town.

I wasn't disappointed when I saw her but she wasn't quite as cute as her pictures. I would be a little surprised if she was actually 23.

I wanted to eat, she wasn't hungry. So we sat in Taco Bell. I ate 2 tacos, and we chatted.

She quizzed me, and I was like 'bring it on'.

First question was "what are you looking for?". I literally tried to remember verbatim @Dr.Suave 's suggestion like I was sitting a fvcking exam. I said "I'm not looking for anything but if I meet the right person maybe something special can happen."

She comes with second question "you're 28 years old?", and I lied right to her face and said yes. (Later in the conversation she goes you look way younger than 28! I literally said "wow. really? I haven't heard that in a while." And she insisted...)

She was very tactile in Taco Bell. I suggested ice cream. And she just straight up goes "can we go to your place?". I was like "eh... yeah... I guess...". At the point in my head I'm thinking: this girl wants some pipe badly.

At my place we listened to music and danced. I moved in for the kiss. She goes "don't try to kiss me. That's the second time you tried. Don't ever try to kiss me. You don't kiss me. I kiss you." I go "do you want to kiss me?" and she started kissing me. She then pulls back and says she has to go home and she doesn't want anything to happen on the first date. And I'm super chill. (I have just recovered from a virus and wasn't in the mood to fvck anyway.)

I reminded her a few minutes later that she was going to leave and asked her was she ready. And she goes "oh... you want me to leave?". Then we started kissing, she climbed on, stripped off, etc. etc.

The sex was good. She was clearly experienced! And the impression I had all along ("I'm so nervous" , "I don't have a lot of experience with date") was, well, the opposite.

Her body was great. My previous two lays were overweight, so it was great to be with a woman with a good body.

Her loony side came out again after: "why didn't you add my on insta?", "oh my god, you have a wife.", "why are you lying?", "you are so fake", "I hate you". Then downstairs as we were waiting for her Uber, she goes "by the way, I keep saying that I hate you because I liked spending time with you so much."

-------
@Stoic I guess I learned...

  • a little more about the hamster wheel and how we can stimulate it by being playful with the sh1t test questions such as "what are you looking for?".
  • I had also been recently watching a bunch of a pick up guy called Diego Day and he is actually complimentary towards women and lays it on with the romantic side and references like that. And that made me realise that there is a place for that in seduction: telling a woman she's beautiful, complimenting her eyes etc.
  • the manosphere is too binary about texting before the date. If she keeps texting you, she's probably interested, and if you ignore her, she'll probably get turned off. There's a balance with it. Be tactful with delayed responses, but if you haven't met her yet in person, then you need to engage with her and make her comfortable in the lead up to the first date
 
M

member160292

Guest
First night lay, last night.

There was actually quite a bit of texting since Wednesday. On Friday I cancelled the Sunday afternoon date (because work came up for me Sunday day-time) and proposed ice cream and movies Sunday night. She was on board. This was a good indicator for me as it showed strong interest still when I thought it might be waning (making me want to nuke the date altogether) (and, hence the flaking concern).

Yesterday, there was some manoeuvring over text in the lead up to the date as she was expressing a lot of nerves.

View attachment 10368

Then she ended up being late as hell. I tactically messaged before I Ubered from my place into town (as flake insurance), and she said "no. wait. I'm not ready yet.". She was messaging that she had tried on 7 different outfits, whether she should wear makeup, warning me that she was going to wear glasses etc.

She also messaged me twice that she was naked, which communicated to me that she was horny.

I waited at my place until 30 minutes after our supposed meet-up time, and I was getting a little close to calling it, as I didn't want to be travelling in and out of town late. She eventually goes "I'm ready. I don't want to go to the centre." So I invited her to the mall right by my place where we would have dining and movie options. She ubered straight over.

This was a big W in my mind as it saved me ubering into town.

I wasn't disappointed when I saw her but she wasn't quite as cute as her pictures. I would be a little surprised if she was actually 23.

I wanted to eat, she wasn't hungry. So we sat in Taco Bell. I ate 2 tacos, and we chatted.

She quizzed me, and I was like 'bring it on'.

First question was "what are you looking for?". I literally tried to remember verbatim @Dr.Suave 's suggestion like I was sitting a fvcking exam. I said "I'm not looking for anything but if I meet the right person maybe something special can happen."

She comes with second question "you're 28 years old?", and I lied right to her face and said yes. (Later in the conversation she goes you look way younger than 28! I literally said "wow. really? I haven't heard that in a while." And she insisted...)

She was very tactile in Taco Bell. I suggested ice cream. And she just straight up goes "can we go to your place?". I was like "eh... yeah... I guess...". At the point in my head I'm thinking: this girl wants some pipe badly.

At my place we listened to music and danced. I moved in for the kiss. She goes "don't try to kiss me. That's the second time you tried. Don't ever try to kiss me. You don't kiss me. I kiss you." I go "do you want to kiss me?" and she started kissing me. She then pulls back and says she has to go home and she doesn't want anything to happen on the first date. And I'm super chill. (I have just recovered from a virus and wasn't in the mood to fvck anyway.)

I reminded her a few minutes later that she was going to leave and asked her was she ready. And she goes "oh... you want me to leave?". Then we started kissing, she climbed on, stripped off, etc. etc.

The sex was good. She was clearly experienced! And the impression I had all along ("I'm so nervous" , "I don't have a lot of experience with date") was, well, the opposite.

Her body was great. My previous two lays were overweight, so it was great to be with a woman with a good body.

Her loony side came out again after: "why didn't you add my on insta?", "oh my god, you have a wife.", "why are you lying?", "you are so fake", "I hate you". Then downstairs as we were waiting for her Uber, she goes "by the way, I keep saying that I hate you because I liked spending time with you so much."

-------
@Stoic I guess I learned...

  • a little more about the hamster wheel and how we can stimulate it by being playful with the sh1t test questions such as "what are you looking for?".
  • I had also been recently watching a bunch of a pick up guy called Diego Day and he is actually complimentary towards women and lays it on with the romantic side and references like that. And that made me realise that there is a place for that in seduction: telling a woman she's beautiful, complimenting her eyes etc.
  • the manosphere is too binary about texting before the date. If she keeps texting you, she's probably interested, and if you ignore her, she'll probably get turned off. There's a balance with it. Be tactful with delayed responses, but if you haven't met her yet in person, then you need to engage with her and make her comfortable in the lead up to the first date
Careful with this one, brotha.
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

nismo-4

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Flakes are a part of the game. Just like getting injured in the NBA. It comes with the territory. Embrace it and move on. Have enough girls in your views and roster that a single flake doesn’t mean much.
Only difference is if you're playing in the NBA, you're not likely to get flaked on. Even in the 1/256 chance you do get flaked on, you have so much money, social circle, status, and money you genuinely don't care. You will never be ugly either, there's no such thing as an ugly millionaire.

Most guys here aren't high value or sexy, they're trying to be.
 
M

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Only difference is if you're playing in the NBA, you're not likely to get flaked on. Even in the 1/256 chance you do get flaked on, you have so much money, social circle, status, and money you genuinely don't care. You will never be ugly either, there's no such thing as an ugly millionaire.

Most guys here aren't high value or sexy, they're trying to be.
Still waiting on the judgement here :)
 

RazorRambo24

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FinallyAlpha, being that you'e a SOsuaver and judging by thedetails you given, you met a thot,slut,*****, whatever you want to call it in your culture.. Out here we call em thots..

GIrls who dont want to kiss but will fucc you but cant wait to go back to your place = clear sign shes a thot. Thots think every guy is a hoe so they dont want to kiss really --or they have a man at home. Why was she late? soem dude was boning her before you met. Thats why she was naked when she was supposed to be ready. Chances are you swapped some semen with another dude. Any funny taste when you kissed her? Be honest.. we're not here to judge.

Lastly, if you know how not to get attached to women, you probably found yourself a plate.. good. now use the confidence to go out and meet more women, and plate 1 or 2 more and you'll be set to enjoy spinning plates.. First few months keep it striclty sex and dont do anything date-y or give them/her too much of your time.. Slowly if she seems like she brings somehting of value to the table, allow her to hangout with you here and there, grab a bite, etc.. Then test her for compliance, ie: doing errands for u, ask her if shes good with laundry, etc --the more she invests time into u, even if its going out shopping wit u, she will feel like you guys are closer than she thinks.. This is a key part of spinnin plates and playin "the game"

Additional tips:
Understand this about thots: They're used to being pump and dumped by guys out of their league so they are usually insecure despite being very sexually active. Being sexually active is what keeps them mentally afloat. Try not to look too much into what she is doing before or after she is hanging with you because its likely she'll def be sleepin around with other guys until and unless you have a better d.ck game, finances, personality, lifestyle, etc..

Always understand that when a girl is super late to somehting where shes supposed to be and you know she's not coming from work or some plans she had, and she turns out to be a thot, shes most likely gobblin **** or being piped down. This kind of sh.t is where Redpill philosophy is only important. IN being aware of these things...

Lastly, being that she is not the same culture/race as you, she's likely to settle down with someone who at least speaks her own language or keep a man around who does.. so dont invest too much. afterall shes a thot but , know that you're prob not her ideal guy.. but she'll prob try to juice u for the attention and sex for a while.. unless u can manage to gain leverage
 
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forcerecon01

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Only difference is if you're playing in the NBA, you're not likely to get flaked on. Even in the 1/256 chance you do get flaked on, you have so much money, social circle, status, and money you genuinely don't care. You will never be ugly either, there's no such thing as an ugly millionaire.

Most guys here aren't high value or sexy, they're trying to be.
now thats power.......
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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