It seems to be part of the harsh reality of life - in order to truly keep a woman you must not care too much about her. At least, this is part of that formula. You must be outcome independent about the whole thing, or at least mostly appear to be, because if you aren't she will sniff you out and kick you to the curb. Here is the story I mentioned earlier, I hope it helps some of you out - it also helps me to write it down in the hopes I never repeat it.
I spend the last 2 years of graduate school dating around, getting into short relationships, sleeping with various women I dont give a damn enough to invest too much in. Relationships terminate and both parties move on, often with me happily looking for the next piece of ass, even if sometimes it takes me a short time to come to grip with the fact that a particular girl is gone.
Then I meet a girl that completely blows me away. Sexy, beautiful, AMAZING in bed, confident and intelligent, and has a lot of things going for her. I become addicted to her very quickly. I start to fantasize about getting into an LTR. I cant wait to see her and everytime she calls for a date, I answer. Im very complimentary and touchy-feely and always trying to initiate sex. One time I am over at her house, and after sex she kicks me out telling me she has several things she needs to get done, and I act like a lovesick puppy (and I have to call one of my other plates for more sexual release and intimacy, even though it does me little good.)
All the while Im ignoring the little voice in my head telling me Im doing it wrong. Even after YEARS on this forum, I choose NOT to listen. I am having too much fun. The dopamine surge is too much, my infatuation is at a major peak, and I simply cannot control myself.
You can tell where this story ends. Quite suddenly, she simply disappears. No longer calls me. Answers my calls and texts, but politely declines further dates. I back off and hope she decides to come around - SHE DOESNT.
I am hit with wave after wave of despair, as I slowly start to figure out exactly what happened, and the mistakes I made that now seem plainly obvious. HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID!!!.
The lessons here are huge. Next time a woman like this comes around, hopefully I will know exactly how recognize the signs that I am spiraling out of control, and be able to control my actions.
Now though, the pain really sucks, and no other woman seems to measure up so far. I hate oneitis.
