"How could it have gone wrong??" - The Sh*t Test Everyone Fails

[slaog]

Bumping a great post for others to read!


Was just going to send a girl a text message because I didn't hear back from her in a while but I resisted. I remembered this thread and I decided to reread this thread and she sends me a text message as I was re-reading it!! :rockon:


Have a little patience men.

While this is a good post this just blows my mind because it's like this is a continuos battle. It's like when a woman you're in a relationship brings up a concern how do you know it's a real complaint and not a test. After all we all have expectations. Why should we guys always be on the receiving end of a test. Doesn't that insinuate that the lady is the boss who just keeps handing out tests we have to pass and when we fail, we get kicked to the curb. AAAAAAAAgh!

It doesn't have to be a battle if you become a natural. When you become a natural you'll become immune to any test.

 

[giorgio]

good stuff

 

[dbot]

This is a good post, but to be completely honest, I think you're over analyzing things a bit.

When girls get distant as you described, it can be due to many things:

- The guy got lazy
- The girl got bored
- The guy became predictable
- His constant witty shtick eventually got old and annoying (I'm serious)
- Either the guy or girl became less physically attractive, and the spark was lost
- The girl met someone else equally or more exciting, but "new"
- Any combination of the above

It would be a bit of a stretch to say that all men are subject to an everlasting sh!t-test. Sure, that sounds cool and everyone on the forum eats it up, but it's simply not true. The keyword is EXCITEMENT. When the excitement is lost, so is the girl.

Remember, it's the anticipation that makes a relationship exciting; kind of like an unscratched lottery ticket. Once all is revealed, the value plummets.

 

[Sandow]

^^^^^Yeah but you can't really do that forever. yes anticipation is important, as well as excitement, but overdoing it can cause her to get annoyed and eventually run. It's really a balance of all good qualities like spontaneity, excitement, unpredictability, caring, confidence, etc.

Yes Squirels may be overanalyzing, and I think the bottom line is finding a connection with her. I won't get into how to find a connection 'cause that's a whole different thread....But like squirrels said, everything is all great in the beginning, you think you have her..then bang! you lost her. Basically, you failed to prove to her that you were a great catch. Yea u should never stop doing what we teach here; being unpredictable, busy, confident. But always remember there always needs to be a strong connection, and that will always have her around.

 

[Miguel]

I actually cried a bit when I read this, seriously. I've never ever been able to really grasp why my relationships with women never go past 2 weeks or so. Recently I just grasped how I've been acting in an arrogent manner rather then a confident one, but I never though of it this way.

Man, seriously, for me this is life altering.

 

[axxo]

bump.. this is good ****.

 

[KontrollerX]

I actually cried a bit when I read this, seriously. I've never ever been able to really grasp why my relationships with women never go past 2 weeks or so. Recently I just grasped how I've been acting in an arrogent manner rather then a confident one, but I never though of it this way.

Man, seriously, for me this is life altering.

Thats all well and good if you think you've been acting arrogantly and that is the root cause of your relationships failing but Squirrelz post isn't about that.

The cliff notes of this post and the main point of it is to tell guys that once you get past all the beginning sh!t tests women put you through the final sh!t test is a woman apparently giving herself to you completely which tests how you are going to react to that.

Meaning will you stay the same guy you were in the beginning of the relationship and all throughout it up to this point or once realizing she is now your girl will you revert to a snivelling whiny little AFC b!tch that calls her too often, praises her too much and supplicates like your life depended on it?

See what Squirrelz post is advocating is that you stay the smooth confident cool and calm awesome type of man that you were to her in the beginning of the relationship and really be that man always.

Conquer your inner AFC and be a real confident man and you'll never fail the last sh!t test from a woman you are getting involved with.

What squirrelz has pointed out is that if you fake being a cool, calm and confident man the woman's last test will reveal to her who you really are because all you'll have to rely on when she finally gives herself to you as a result of using PUA programmed routines is the weak AFC mentality which will expose you for the fraud that you are.

When a real man is given a woman's love and commitment he's naturally confident or has become so through inner game work and because of this he's not going to go above and beyond the call of duty to make his new woman happy. Certainly he's going to make time for her but not become a slave to her like the AFC would out of fear he'd lose her if he didn't.

 

[Flyer]

bump.

 

[Irs88]

pardon me but, what exactly do we do for the "cry test" and the parents saying "what do you think of her??"

Im guessing you stay alpha at all times. Just a guess :]

eg: when she cries, instead of comforting her, stay confident and uneffected. eh i have no clue

 

[KontrollerX]

"pardon me but, what exactly do we do for the "cry test" and the parents saying "what do you think of her??"

If its something you as a man would find logically as a good reason to cry such as the death of a relative or parent or she fell and broke a bone while playing in a sporting event or she just learned she had a potentially terminal illness all are good reasons to comfort her when she is crying about them.

Now if on the other hand she is crying at something that happened on a soap opera or someother frivolous bullsh!t you hand her a kleenex and keep talking about what you want to talk about or you walk away but indeed you do not offer to comfort her over frivolous bullsh!t like this.

If she ever leaves you over not comforting her over frivolous bullsh!t congratulations you just dodged a bullet and don't have to spend anymore of your time with a whiny crybaby b!tch.

 

[Irs88]

oh thought it would be more complicated.

 

[Beat Logix]

Great Post!

Yeah man.. i read the post, it's hard to see everything in one perspective because there's to many facet's to this issue, i guess when you try to understand/realize everything it will make sense. This forum is really cool and i intend to get my gameskills up, cause i'm tired of being treated like the invisible man, i'm tired of being a wuss.. i wanna get laid, and make all thos b!t*s pay who hurt me, by taking revenge on new pvssy! im going in hardcore.. kna`mean?!

Peace!

 

[chatoh]

Great advise Squirrel !!!
Are "naturals" born or can an average guy become one, thorough learning ?

 

[Lusterkx2]

Hey guys. Today a girl got mad at me cause I didnt want to do what she told me. This is what happend. We were in a group. Shes very pretty and when she told me to write on the board i refused. And i think she got angry. Is it cause maybe she has never had a guy refuse from taking order from her, or was just i a jerk?

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

Hey guys. Today a girl got mad at me cause I didnt want to do what she told me. This is what happend. We were in a group. Shes very pretty and when she told me to write on the board i refused. And i think she got angry. Is it cause maybe she has never had a guy refuse from taking order from her, or was just i a jerk?

Seems like an odd place to put your first post, unrelated to the original thread/post. Those aren't enough details to answer your question anyway. It could be what you said or just that she was mad you weren't cooperating and working with the group.

 

[Jon55]

We really need more relationship stuff covered here (like this) at sosuave. Getting girls isn't the hard part, its keeping the relationships/maintaining her desire for you thats difficult. But like you said, it comes down to natural self confidence.

 

[TheDoctor]

I agree with Jon55. I have a girl, had her for over a year. I turned AFC, am too jelous, too controlling, and even insecure I guess. This has been a struggle that I have faced for a while now. We're still together but on a "break" right now because she needs her space. The break will last two or three days.

I'm pushing her away. She doesn't want to go but I'm making our lives miserable. She adds to the fire by doing certain things that I don't approve of.

I need to trust her, give her her own personal space (we see each other 5-7 times per week and spend 4-7 nights together per week) and stop the jealousy. I just feel disrespected by the slightest things and my ego won't let me brush things off. I feel she is getting the better of me if I roll over and say ok when she cancels a date on me or whatever.

I know what to do, thanks to this site, it's just doing it that is the hard part.

 

[Cableguy]

What squirrelz has pointed out is that if you fake being a cool, calm and confident man the woman's last test will reveal to her who you really are because all you'll have to rely on when she finally gives herself to you as a result of using PUA programmed routines is the weak AFC mentality which will expose you for the fraud that you are.

When a real man is given a woman's love and commitment he's naturally confident or has become so through inner game work and because of this he's not going to go above and beyond the call of duty to make his new woman happy. Certainly he's going to make time for her but not become a slave to her like the AFC would out of fear he'd lose her if he didn't.

I think you hit the nail on the head here. You can fake game, react properly to shyt tests when you are EXPECTING them, but what happens when you let down your guard because you've been lulled into complacency by miss sweetiebritches?

It's a trap that so many guys fall in, including myself. You start off being a challenge and then when you have the girl where you want her, you think it's ok to "let her see the REAL you." The problem with this is that if the "real" you is a snivelling AFC, the jig is up.

What I want the "real" me to be is a REAL MAN. A man who knows what he wants and labors to achieve the goals he sets for himself. A man who doesn't take bullshyt and disrespect from women. Not because this forum or friends tell me not to, but because I know deep inside my soul that I'm better than that. I don't have to fake it, it's who I am to the very core.

 

[Don Fresh]

I've been lurking this forum for quite some time now and I finally decided to sign up... the reason is that right now at this moment I think I'm being tested, but I can't figure out if I'm doing good or have failed.

About a month ago I met a fine looking girl at a universityparty (i study online and go there for 2 weekends a month, she studies law on location)... We hit it off instantly and we ended up spending the night together at her dormroom but there was no sex, just makin' out, titsuckin' and chillin'.. I tried to get in her pants, but no dice :nono: ... and that made me crazy for her (i played cool tho). She said that since I was coming back next weekend I just had to be patient.
The following week we texted alot and she sent me some messages through facebook, I played it cool wasn't replying the very second I got the messages nor was I being overly romantic or anything. Friday finally came and there was a huge dance at the school we got a little drunk and we were all over each other.. life sure was good and we ended up having sex.
We met later that week for more, and there was alot og calling, texting and IM'ing and at times I thought she was being overly romantic, bringing up exclusivity and such.

Later we met at her parents house and watched video and made out, but she seemed very distant, busy and I figured it was because of a very important assignment at school.. I didn't speak to her for two days, mainly because I didn't wan't to look like an AFC and she needed her space to study (and so did I). She had pointed out during our videosession that she wanted to see "I love you, man" when the trailer was on TV so after two days of silence I called and asked if she wanted to take a break from studying and go see it. She said yes, I wen't and bought tickets and when it was time i called, but no answer, i texted "movies?" and no answer.. so I thought to myself "f..k this" and went clubbing with my friends.

That was 10days ago and I haven't heard from her since, no text, no call and even though she is constantly signed in on MSN, nothing.... The only contact I have made is that I wished her congratulations on facebook yesterday because her sister just had a baby... I've noticed increased male activity on her profile, but there is also increased female activity on mine (can't help it )

WWDJD ?

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

I've been lurking this forum for quite some time now and I finally decided to sign up... the reason is that right now at this moment I think I'm being tested, but I can't figure out if I'm doing good or have failed.

You could have started a new thread for this (probably more appropriate), but here are some comments in any case.

Maybe she was thinking you guys would be progressing to something more serious, but she realized you didn't really see eye to eye in that way. It's possible she fell too hard, too fast for you and is now trying to protect herself.