Her ghosting wasn’t her being malicious. It was more of another thing...
Avoidance.
Allow me to explain:
After the two great dates, the girl
did legitimately like me, at least to some sort of an extent, as several of details within the story rightfully supported. The great chemistry, the laughing, the nonstop talking, the nice post date #1
text,
the tears of sadness and stress in her eyes at the end of the second date as she had to have me leave telling me if I don’t ever want to see her again she understands, and most notably the texts
after said second date. It is the previously underlined event however which took place at the end of that second date that, whether later that night or the next day,
triggers her into coming to the harsh realization,
probably not even for the first time in her time as a single mother, that she simply cannot do this. She simply
cannot legitimately date. She had told me there had been a few sporadic dates met through friends here and there, but who knows how hard those plates have been for her, too. Who know what really happened the last 2 years of her life. Of course, one of the most important yet overlooked notes of this entire story was her openly telling me that her friend PUSHED her into Match, and oh yeah, let's not forget the interesting fact that we need to accept that I was her
first plate from Match, too. So, for all the reasons mentioned above, she decides to
abort before anything got even remotely serious. She might not be mature enough for some things as we would end up seeing, but she was mature enough for this. She decided to abort not just for herself, but for me too, even if it was the very wrong way to handle things. More on that later.
So after this decision is made in her head what does she do? She tries dodging that third date, in nice ways. Asking how my day is going anyway. Saying “Maybe I can try to get a sitter next week??”. Not once, but twice she tries to kindly dodge. Her upbeat/positive ways while responding as you saw were very interesting to look back on IMO. This wasnt a blatant ‘I’m done with you’ attempt at fading with one word answers and grumpy tones. Someone who is done doesn’t ask how your day was, too. Someone who is done doesn’t continue on asking what I did at the gym that night. Someone who is done doesn’t respond saying “Hey you!” or “Hiiii, so….”. as she did. She
did feel bad. She
did know this kind of s-cked. She may very well even had small second thoughts in her head. However maybe after having a few days away from me and having more time to think, that was it. So in any event, when I didn’t get the picture and reached back out casually with the football text a few days later, she took the only next way out she felt was possible, and quietly faded, especially given the easier feeling of doing so seeing as how the text came in to her late at night.
So why did she ultimately ghost? Well she definitely didn't feel it was fair to me to eventually make up any kind of phony excuse whether that be about another guy or whatever it may have been, but at the same time certainly more importantly
she wasn’t up for any kind of emotional text to me, someone she knew all of a week explaining all the details of how she really felt which ultimately would be her facing her very troubled reality that is her unable to have a real dating life.
So that's basically it. I was a guy who was treating her nicely, gave her a massage on the first date, gave her a ride home totally out of his way, brought drinks over, asked about her son’s wellbeing, was completely understanding about the stress that comes with being a single mom and dating(i.e. The kid waking up sick on date #2), and a guy who was overall very courteous to her in such a short period of time. So, my bottom line in all of this is?
I’m almost certain all had nothing to do with one single solitary nice/warm sounding invite to cook for her at my place only some TWO days after she flat out revealed that she had interest with the date #2 post-date text. Although only twice, she
had met me. She
had gotten to feel me out. You don’t get to truly know a person after just two dates, but you
can have a general idea if someone is a complete phony or not. She’s a smart girl. She knew I wasn’t a creep. At least not one she would decide to fade and ghost on bc of an invite to his place where he wanted to
cook for her, another potential agenda or not.
So have you put it all together by now? Conclusion is she was already
done, or at least very unsure about moving forward even BEFORE my invite to come over went out.
In closing, think about this one last this… If it
did have to do with me, and the whole invite over/casual situation, wouldn’t this girl, who seemed extremely mature, extremely honest, and very upfront about things from the start (“Sorry I’m not into casual but good luck.”, ring a bell??), have written back to that heartfelt text at least in SOME form implying that yes, the invite over kind of turned her off and how she’s sorry? You just do have to look back at the hard and most important evidence from our initial Match convo. The second I brought up casual she basically shot it down in my face. If that wasn’t someone who is ok with rather harsh honesty I don’t know who is. But NOW she suddenly couldn’t tell me how she felt about something I said or did? I didn’t know her well at all, but I knew enough to know that this felt surprising and unusual. Even my closest honest friends said it was. The problem of course, and the reality of course, was that it WASN’T about me. It was about HER, which was something way too deeper and way too uncomfortable for her to get into.
