Hooking up is not viable in 2023?

[SpartanWarrior77]

Ive had this new theory bubbling inside of me after about a decade of game (minus 3ish years for a relationship who I met thru game):

In the US in 2023, long-term bachelorhood is no longer a viable option for some types of guys.

In different terms: the more complex and chaotic a culture is, the better it is for many of us to stabilize our relationships and focus on the long term. A big reason being to avoid self-destruction.

Consider the following: increased loneliness due to suburbs, long commutes, lack of walkable cities, lack of any interesting social scenes, and increased tech addiction leading to social ineptitude. Consider the impact of feminism on our culture and how disappointing the dating scene has become.

I think a long-term game lifestyle would have been better in different times and/or different places. Some examples:

Pre-tech era fun social scenes especially in big cities like NYC, time period: 80s, 90s.
Modern day: 2nd or 3rd world countries minimally impacted by feminism.
Modern day: US cities but have to be a top 5% guy, cash and lifestyle. I know a short asian dude in his 50s who bangs 8-9s cuz he's got a yacht and is loaded.

But right now, we live in too chaotic a time. There is too much complexity and social change. It's not a fun time of joie de vivre at least in my eyes (call me cynical) but I don't feel it. There seems to be sadness and void. Is this really the time to prance around like everything is great and go hunting? I mean I get being careless in a sort of masculine way but is this really the time and place? I think most of us will self-destruct by living this way bc the lack of deep relationships + the chaotic social/professional world we live in will be too much on our nervous systems.

I think this is the time to get serious. The world is falling to sh1t and hook up culture is wack and dissapointing. The music, the art, the movies, they're all trash. I seriously think it's better to just find a solid chick and create your own world or just go monk mode.

I know some of you can relate. Not all of you. But it's a call to higher living.

 

[Solomon]

I remember trying to date during Quarantine it was a disaster yes I was getting a lot of matches but it was with older women at the time who wanted to meet in public or come straight to my place. It was terrible I was working from home at the time, and lonely the first 2 weeks of quarantine I was hanging out with this 22-year-old I met off hinge literally before lock down but it went nowhere after that it was a bunch of disaster dates. I literally met my ex before the lockdowns where lifted but it didn't last


The last 3 years my dating life has been a disaster I noticed more and more women are using weed mind you I dated women 22-45 and a lot of them do it. 10 years ago you might meet 1 out of 4 women who does now it's 2 out of 4. OLD doesn't give you a sincere way of dating it's very superficial and if you don't meat the criteria the other person is looking for they are quick to move on. I have deleted the apps and haven't dated anyone in nearly a 1.5 I need to focus on myself my health and wealth maybe once I got those sorted I will be back but I agree with OP it's like things are getting worse and worse you can feel it in the air

 

[sangheilios]

I remember trying to date during Quarantine it was a disaster yes I was getting a lot of matches but it was with older women at the time who wanted to meet in public or come straight to my place. It was terrible I was working from home at the time, and lonely the first 2 weeks of quarantine I was hanging out with this 22-year-old I met off hinge literally before lock down but it went nowhere after that it was a bunch of disaster dates. I literally met my ex before the lockdowns where lifted but it didn't last


The last 3 years my dating life has been a disaster I noticed more and more women are using weed mind you I dated women 22-45 and a lot of them do it. 10 years ago you might meet 1 out of 4 women who does now it's 2 out of 4. OLD doesn't give you a sincere way of dating it's very superficial and if you don't meat the criteria the other person is looking for they are quick to move on. I have deleted the apps and haven't dated anyone in nearly a 1.5 I need to focus on myself my health and wealth maybe once I got those sorted I will be back but I agree with OP it's like things are getting worse and worse you can feel it in the air

It's crazy to think that the height of COVID was over 3 years ago now, wild times. When I look back at the lockdowns and the pandemic, you can see how much things had changed in such a short period of time. I remember late 2019/very early 2020 people seemed much happier and more "normal". I remember hearing whispers about this mysterious disease in late January and early February but no one really knew much about it, within 2 months many places were in total lockdown.

I personally thrived in 2020, it was honestly one of the best years of my entire life, though I wasn't happy when the gyms were kept closed lol. It was a time where I grew tremendously as an individual and really set myself up incredibly well. However, I had a social circle and multiple "friends" that one by one were cut from my life and I was pretty much rid of them by March 2021, a year after the lockdowns commenced. Dating wasn't even on my radar during this time period at all.

With all of this said, there were tons of stats showing a rampant increase in drug and alcohol use summer of 2020 compared to the year prior, 2019, and I believe that this is a trend that had/has not reversed. You can find all sorts of numbers that showed sales of alcohol and snack foods increased tremendously during the pandemic. A lot of people became incredibly unhealthy during that time period, I can personally cite a ton of examples of people that were at least decently fit who were into overweight territory by the end of 2020. Drug use definitely I think was up there for sure, I remember seeing a lot of people self-medicating with weed and even prescription pills. A very obvious sign of this that you can see in many metros across the U.S is how much more prevalent homelessness is now. I distinctly recall seeing this change during that time period and again it did not reverse.

I also remember in my metro when bars and clubs starting operating more normally end of 2020. I posted this on another thread on here, but I remember reading a ton of posts online about some of the local hotspots and how they felt the vibe was just not the same as it was in 2019. I saw a lot of posts talking about how the venues were filled with a lot of trashy people, more than usual anyway lol, and how frequent fights were occurring. In the metro I was and currently in, prior to the pandemic they'd have a handful of police there on a Friday or Saturday night that you could see. After the bars reopened, there was a much heavier police presence in the area, which says it all right there. This could eventually get so bad that many people will ultimately stop going out to hit up the nightlife scene, which for some people could be enough of a difference to completely eliminate real world face to face interactions with the opposite sex.

What I'm getting at is that many people became shut ins during the pandemic, essentially forced into it, and some have struggled to really get back to normal, even today. A big part of this is also due to more recent events, inflation and overall cost of living have increased tremendously over the last couple years. Many people are struggling just to make ends meet and are living paycheck to paycheck. I've been seeing a lot of articles about how even a good portion of high income earners, 150k+, are even struggling. Overall, I feel like the last 3 1/2 years have been really tough on a lot of people.

 

[obelisk]

There is A LOT of self-medicating going on since the pandemic on top of how many women are on prescriptions already. The rise of weed is not helping them at all and just makes them completely unable to deal with stress and adversity.

 

[ManlyMan]

There is just something in the air. People are not the same. women have changed as well.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There is just something in the air. People are not the same. women have changed as well.

Women have gotten used to playing the masculine role in relationships now since many men don't know how and by default play the feminine role.

 

[obelisk]

When Women Regret Feminism - Part 3 - The Wall Is Unforgiving

It's going to get worse. I believe the first women in this video (can't find the original tik tok of her) is one of the best examples of where women are headed. That level of regret and despair as she realizes it's too late for her is mild in comparison (completely ignoring her rationalizations about not freezing embryos vs eggs etc.) to what's coming. Change your ways before it's too late. I just don't think women could take the right lessons from her pain and suffering to alter their own fate.

You're going to see a whole new legion of influencers and social engineering helping women to cope as 20 and 30 becomes 40 and beyond as the promise of motherhood slams shut permanently. Some of them will put on a mask of happiness but damn to think of the pain and suffering that truly is brewing. They'll blame men even more. They'll cope by saying they never wanted kids to begin with. They're lie to themselves by saying they're actually living happy and fulfilled lives. Drug use and suicide are only going to increase moving forward, especially as global economies reorient in the coming decades and the fourth turning and crumbling of empire accelerates and quality of living declines.

Things are going to get much worse before they have a chance of getting better.

You can't save everybody but you can protect your own happiness.

 

[Solomon]

It's crazy to think that the height of COVID was over 3 years ago now, wild times. When I look back at the lockdowns and the pandemic, you can see how much things had changed in such a short period of time. I remember late 2019/very early 2020 people seemed much happier and more "normal". I remember hearing whispers about this mysterious disease in late January and early February but no one really knew much about it, within 2 months many places were in total lockdown.

I personally thrived in 2020, it was honestly one of the best years of my entire life, though I wasn't happy when the gyms were kept closed lol. It was a time where I grew tremendously as an individual and really set myself up incredibly well. However, I had a social circle and multiple "friends" that one by one were cut from my life and I was pretty much rid of them by March 2021, a year after the lockdowns commenced. Dating wasn't even on my radar during this time period at all.

With all of this said, there were tons of stats showing a rampant increase in drug and alcohol use summer of 2020 compared to the year prior, 2019, and I believe that this is a trend that had/has not reversed. You can find all sorts of numbers that showed sales of alcohol and snack foods increased tremendously during the pandemic. A lot of people became incredibly unhealthy during that time period, I can personally cite a ton of examples of people that were at least decently fit who were into overweight territory by the end of 2020. Drug use definitely I think was up there for sure, I remember seeing a lot of people self-medicating with weed and even prescription pills. A very obvious sign of this that you can see in many metros across the U.S is how much more prevalent homelessness is now. I distinctly recall seeing this change during that time period and again it did not reverse.

I also remember in my metro when bars and clubs starting operating more normally end of 2020. I posted this on another thread on here, but I remember reading a ton of posts online about some of the local hotspots and how they felt the vibe was just not the same as it was in 2019. I saw a lot of posts talking about how the venues were filled with a lot of trashy people, more than usual anyway lol, and how frequent fights were occurring. In the metro I was and currently in, prior to the pandemic they'd have a handful of police there on a Friday or Saturday night that you could see. After the bars reopened, there was a much heavier police presence in the area, which says it all right there. This could eventually get so bad that many people will ultimately stop going out to hit up the nightlife scene, which for some people could be enough of a difference to completely eliminate real world face to face interactions with the opposite sex.

What I'm getting at is that many people became shut ins during the pandemic, essentially forced into it, and some have struggled to really get back to normal, even today. A big part of this is also due to more recent events, inflation and overall cost of living have increased tremendously over the last couple years. Many people are struggling just to make ends meet and are living paycheck to paycheck. I've been seeing a lot of articles about how even a good portion of high income earners, 150k+, are even struggling. Overall, I feel like the last 3 1/2 years have been really tough on a lot of people.

Yup 2020 was a great year for me financially I made the most of my time working from home, studied the crypto market and made the most money that I ever made in my life and I also foolishly blew i.e. going out to expensive restaurants with my girlfriend or my friends, going on vacations etc

I remember I was drinking at a point damn near every day it wasn't until my ex pointed it out and a good friend of mine died in April of 2021 that I slowed down. In regards to venues, all the best places in my city have shut down except for maybe 2 spots. and even if you do go out people don't go out to meet people they are already in social circles. I also noticed hard drug usage increasing something I never do myself.

There is a reckoning coming and we've talked about this @sangheilios I wouldn't be shocked if gas prices keep going up, banks will fail, more odd weather, and advancement in tech and AI 2024 is gonna be an interesting year

 

[sangheilios]

There is A LOT of self-medicating going on since the pandemic on top of how many women are on prescriptions already. The rise of weed is not helping them at all and just makes them completely unable to deal with stress and adversity.

It's not just women but men as well. Many states that were long rejecting legalized recreational Marijuana ended up passing it in 2020, which is a very interesting coincidence lol. You are totally correct though, the increase in self medication is a sign of having difficulty dealing with stress and adversity. Marijuana, prescription pills and other drugs are a great example of this, alcohol is another one. Some others that people don't consider would be excessive video game use, excessive T.V watching, gambling, etc. These are other methods where one can escape from their reality.

 

[obelisk]

I completely agree. This is NOT limited to women (great observation). There is a lot of inability to deal with even the slightest stress (which self-medication exacerbates and doesn't address) regardles of sex. Combine that with people's deteriorated social skills as a result of lockdown or otherwise and it's a brewing cluster**** for society. Smoking weed is NOT going to make you more social if you're already struggling to talk to people and make genuine connections with others and find meaning and purpose in your life.

 

[Xman]

When Women Regret Feminism - Part 3 - The Wall Is Unforgiving

It's going to get worse. I believe the first women in this video (can't find the original tik tok of her) is one of the best examples of where women are headed. That level of regret and despair as she realizes it's too late for her is mild in comparison (completely ignoring her rationalizations about not freezing embryos vs eggs etc.) to what's coming. Change your ways before it's too late. I just don't think women could take the right lessons from her pain and suffering to alter their own fate.

You're going to see a whole new legion of influencers and social engineering helping women to cope as 20 and 30 becomes 40 and beyond as the promise of motherhood slams shut permanently. Some of them will put on a mask of happiness but damn to think of the pain and suffering that truly is brewing. They'll blame men even more. They'll cope by saying they never wanted kids to begin with. They're lie to themselves by saying they're actually living happy and fulfilled lives. Drug use and suicide are only going to increase moving forward, especially as global economies reorient in the coming decades and the fourth turning and crumbling of empire accelerates and quality of living declines.

Things are going to get much worse before they have a chance of getting better.

You can't save everybody but you can protect your own happiness.

Well in that video maybe she got the injections with Dr. Fauci’s “vaccine”. I heard it worked to sterilize a lot of people.

 

[SW15]

In the US in 2023, long-term bachelorhood is no longer a viable option for some types of guys.

Disagree. There are more long term bachelors in the USA now as compared to points in the past. Long term bachelorhood looks different now. It's mainly incel to borderline incel men and MGTOWs.

A lot of these long term bachelors are consuming a lot of porn and are pay pigs on OnlyFans.

Consider the following: increased loneliness due to suburbs, long commutes, lack of walkable cities, lack of any interesting social scenes, and increased tech addiction leading to social ineptitude. Consider the impact of feminism on our culture and how disappointing the dating scene has become.

Suburbs and long commutes started to come into play in the 1950s and 1960s. Most suburban residents are married men. Bachelors tend to avoid suburbs and sometimes neighborhoods that resemble suburbs within a main city.

Car-centric cities have grown since the 1950s-1960s. A lot of the cities in the US Sun Belt region fit this description. Phoenix, AZ is a great example of this type of city, but more of its growth was due to air conditioning. Other cities that experienced massive growth starting around the 1950s-1960s are Houston, Dallas, Denver, Nashville, Orlando, Tampa, and Miami. Most of the cities I've mentioned in this paragraph are not very walkable, with the exception of a few areas in Miami where @Jesse Pinkman approaches and YouTubers like Playing with Fire hang out.

Tech addition leading to social ineptitude has its roots in the 1990s but exploded into the 2000s. When I was in college (2001-2005), I was seeing signs of it develop already. People were sending many AOL Instant Messenger messages to people nearby (precursor of texting). MySpace and Facebook started to gain users in 2004-2005, my senior year of college.

Feminism moved into its second wave in the early 1960s and second wave feminism persisted into the late 1980s. The effects of feminism began to the felt in the 1970s-1980s. Late Gen X'ers (1976-1980 births) and Millennials (1981-1996 births) have lived their entire lives with feminism being a major part of culture. These women have been self-centered and have had no concept of the traditional wifely role.

Feminism has also progressed since the early 1990s as well. The dating scene has been a mess since the onset of the 1990s but has gotten worse since then mainly due to smartphones, social media, and dating apps. When I was in college 20 years ago, meeting women through tech-based methods was still stigmatized and no one college aged did it. Now, so many people are using swipe apps to arrange dates and social media platform Instagram is likely the biggest dating app.

 

[Xman]

Does Instagram have a dating component to it, or is it via private messages you can ask women out?

 

[Xman]

Late Gen X'ers (1976-1980 births) and Millennials (1981-1996 births) have lived their entire lives with feminism being a major part of culture. These women have been self-centered and have had no concept of the traditional wifely role.

Enter, the yoga granny.. she is older but still feminine.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

re: IG dating:

I just make women I meet follow me on IG and send me a message.

And then I tell them how lovely it was to meet them too and if they want to go for drinks in the roughest bar in the Red Light District under my protection.

 

[Xman]

Oh cool you are in Amsterdam. Man I would like to visit there again.

A red light district must be an odd environment to try picking up women or taking them out on dates. Do you say to your bar dates “Hey let’s go for a stroll and look at the girls in the windows, lets see if there is any talent out there”

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

A red light district must be an odd environment to try picking up women or taking them out on dates. Do you say to your bar dates “Hey let’s go for a stroll and look at the girls in the windows, lets see if there is any talent out there”

I have done so, but I'm just walking my tomcat and he likes to look at poussey.

I live about ten minutes walking from De Wallen, plus my martial arts teacher used to live there and I have friends living / boozing there. Never been with a prostitute though.

 

[Xman]

Honestly Amsterdam is the most charming city I can think of. The times I visited was in my 20’s and although I walked around the red light areas to see, I never went in there. Today I might try it, but I recall seeing all the seedy sex addict characters walking around and that pretty much kept me out of there.

Today I live in NYC which although the Dutch were some of the first to build Manhattan, the place barely resembles the old charm of cities in Europe.

 

[SW15]

Does Instagram have a dating component to it, or is it via private messages you can ask women out?

It all happens in the private messages (or DMs -- Direct Messages).

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

I do think that hooking up and getting laid was way easier a decade ago compared to now but it is not exactly impossible right now. For one, I find that the dating apps have become almost impossible to use. The barrier to entry is high and they are sausagefests for the most part. Most dating apps have run their course and almost no app has come in to completely disrupt the market. Tinder, Bumble and Hinge are mostly dudes. This was not the case back in 2012 when Tinder first came out or in 2015 where pro pics alone got you laid.

Then you had the #MeToo movement and Campus Rape Hysteria take off so guys were too afraid to move on random girls. Women felt that they could make up an accusation and get a lot out of it. So this caused a further divide between the sexes as men were too afraid to approach women and women thought all men were rapists.

After that, you had politics becoming chaotic. People no longer disagreed, they wanted to attack each other for a different opinion.

Riots started to break out.

Inceldom became mainstream and more wackos from that place on the internet started doing some messed up things.

It all caused more men to opt out of game and more women to end up bitter and scared.

However, I also think that now, while the standard has been raised, it is easier to be a part of that 20 or 10% than it was at any other point in life. Your fellow man is too weak, too scared, too negative, too bitter, too clingy, too desperate, too lazy, and too spineless to go after women. As a result, I think the guys who endure will enjoy a greater gain now than they would have a decade ago.