somethings I wouldn't even call disoreders but more coping mechnimsms.
I'm extremely Schizoid. I could have told you that before taking the test (in fact mine says very high).
People with schizoid personality disorder avoid relationships and do not show much emotion. Unlike
avoidants, schizoids genuinely prefer to be alone and do not secretly wish for popularity.
what the hell do I want to be popular for with people who don't give a **** about you for anyway? I have better things to do with my time than to try to impress people who don't give a **** about you.
over the years I've learned some harsh truths about people. the avg person.. sometimes even your familyl.. really does not give a **** about you. not to say I don't give a fvck about anyone else, I do, but I don't go out of my way to do antyhing for the sake of pleasing someone else. I do things that I want to do and that will make me like me more. So that makes me "narcisistic".
quite honestly, I've tried being " normal"... went to AA and they told me all this **** that was wrong with me.. oh you have borderline personality disorder... you need to trush people more, you need to be more open...
after 6 months of trusting normal people and trying to be normal and "open up" and me being a freaking train wreck, I said you know what.. i was doin quite okay before this **** came along.
not everyone has great motives, I generally don't trust people. most people are ruthless if given the opportunity to advice, if they can use you to get where they want to, they will happily step on you. that's just the truth.
i remember after my dad tried to fvck my then girlfriend and I found out, the group I was going to actually had the fvcking nerve to tell me to find out what part I had played in it. Are you fvckign serious? it's my damn dad. it's not like I made her go answer the door butt naked or something.
alot of this is nothing but the same.. somehow everything is your fault, you did something wrong.