Hitting girls with a kiss close when they aren't ready...

[.Paradox.]

Had a great date tonight. I went for a kiss and she went for a hug. Ended up putting my hand on her face/jaw area (like you'd do for a kiss), then immediately transitioning into a hug when I realized she was going for a hug. Honestly, in retrospect, I feel like I should've just gone for a hug in the first place. Is there even a point to kiss closing on a first & blind date? I feel like you might as well not, then do it on the second meetup, as 1) situations like the above can happen and 2) going physical might give off a "hookup vibe", which most girls will drop you for.

 

[Paarth Shah]

Had a great date tonight. I went for a kiss and she went for a hug. Ended up putting my hand on her face/jaw area (like you'd do for a kiss), then immediately transitioning into a hug when I realized she was going for a hug. Honestly, in retrospect, I feel like I should've just gone for a hug in the first place. Is there even a point to kiss closing on a first & blind date? I feel like you might as well not, then do it on the second meetup, as 1) situations like the above can happen and 2) going physical might give off a "hookup vibe", which most girls will drop you for.

There are no specific guidelines to this. If you desire a kiss, then make sure you have been doing some kino escalation throughout the evening such as holding hands, kissing her on the cheek while walking, etc.. The kiss should NOT be the first physical contact for the night (a greeting hug when you two first meet doesn't count).

In the grand scheme of things, it's better to appear aggressive and be rejected than her thinking you're a pansy.

 

[sph21]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/always-kiss-close-on-the-first-date.202263/

Just because you think that you had a great date, it doesn't mean that she feels the same way about it.

Rejection is better than regret

 

[.Paradox.]

Guess we'll see what happens when I next hit her up for a date/hangout...

 

[marmel75]

Had a great date tonight. I went for a kiss and she went for a hug. Ended up putting my hand on her face/jaw area (like you'd do for a kiss), then immediately transitioning into a hug when I realized she was going for a hug. Honestly, in retrospect, I feel like I should've just gone for a hug in the first place. Is there even a point to kiss closing on a first & blind date? I feel like you might as well not, then do it on the second meetup, as 1) situations like the above can happen and 2) going physical might give off a "hookup vibe", which most girls will drop you for.

If you are waiting til the end of the date for a kiss you are doing it all wrong.

 

[Jareamee]

If you are waiting til the end of the date for a kiss you are doing it all wrong.

I can agree with this, but not at the same time.
I always feel when I go out with a woman from anywhere online it takes a bit for the woman to loosen up and to feel each other out. I’d say by 30-50 minutes in, I’ve already put my arm around them excitedly, or on their neck when I find something we connect on (say we both read).

Walking is the best for touching because your moving and even a slight brush on her hand or arm is subconsciously communicating to her to loosen up a bit or communicate trust if your words are also good.
Or when you sit in a bar; get up to use the washroom once, even if you don’t have to (always sit beside) and touch her shoulder arm when you leave and same thing when you get back.

However going for the lips mid-date, on the first encounter is high risk; to me. Because even if she really likes you, she could naturally just reject because it’s too fast as she iiiis still a stranger. And then if there is a rejection, the date just becomes awkward, really. So I’d much rather get rejected and then immediately eject to go home. Rather than potentially slugging through awkward moments both knowing what actually just took place.

I’ve never attempted the first date, mid date kiss. So please rebuttal and challenge this statement if you feel fit. I’m always looking to have my paradigms challenged

 

[.Paradox.]

If you are waiting til the end of the date for a kiss you are doing it all wrong.

Honestly don't agree at all unless you already know the girl, or if there's a tooooon of chemistry and obvious sexual tension.

Anyways, she texted me this morning saying it was nice meeting me and she had a great time.

 

[Macaframalama]

I can agree with this, but not at the same time.
I always feel when I go out with a woman from anywhere online it takes a bit for the woman to loosen up and to feel each other out. I’d say by 30-50 minutes in, I’ve already put my arm around them excitedly, or on their neck when I find something we connect on (say we both read).

Walking is the best for touching because your moving and even a slight brush on her hand or arm is subconsciously communicating to her to loosen up a bit or communicate trust if your words are also good.
Or when you sit in a bar; get up to use the washroom once, even if you don’t have to (always sit beside) and touch her shoulder arm when you leave and same thing when you get back.

However going for the lips mid-date, on the first encounter is high risk; to me. Because even if she really likes you, she could naturally just reject because it’s too fast as she iiiis still a stranger. And then if there is a rejection, the date just becomes awkward, really. So I’d much rather get rejected and then immediately eject to go home. Rather than potentially slugging through awkward moments both knowing what actually just took place.

I’ve never attempted the first date, mid date kiss. So please rebuttal and challenge this statement if you feel fit. I’m always looking to have my paradigms challenged

You should be building comfort/rapport, breaking down barriers and escelating through your messaging and texting, especially with online dating. When, on the actual date escelating kino and kissing will transition much more seamless, fluid and faster.

However going for the lips mid-date, on the first encounter is high risk; to me. Because even if she really likes you, she could naturally just reject because it’s too fast as she iiiis still a stranger

With higher risk, comes higher reward. If you get rejected, recover and don't take it personal, lose frame and make it akward. You will be judged on how you handle being rejected far more, than being agressive and going for what you want. We are not outcome dependant.

 

[Macaframalama]

or if there's a tooooon of chemistry and obvious sexual tension.

This is social awarness and calibration. If a guy doesn't quite have the intuition built in, that comes with experience, rejection is almost always better than regret as these specific experiences are what hones his intuition and sharpens his teeth.

 

[guru1000]

However going for the lips mid-date, on the first encounter is high risk; to me. Because even if she really likes you, she could naturally just reject because it’s too fast as she iiiis still a stranger. And then if there is a rejection, the date just becomes awkward, really. So I’d much rather get rejected and then immediately eject to go home. Rather than potentially slugging through awkward moments both knowing what actually just took place.

Seems like you are more concerned about how she will perceive you, rather than how you will perceive her.

My last LTR rejected my kiss 3x on the first date, with the first attempt at 10 minutes.

The LTR previous to her rejected my kiss 5x on the first date, with the first attempt at 15 minutes.

So you tell me now ... why did I purposefully seek a kiss so soon with the high likelihood of rejection as I knew with certainty not enough comfort had yet been built?

 

[marmel75]

Honestly don't agree at all unless you already know the girl, or if there's a tooooon of chemistry and obvious sexual tension.

Anyways, she texted me this morning saying it was nice meeting me and she had a great time.

Then you either move too slow, are a novice at this or both. Kissing is a natural progression of escalation in date and will naturally occur within 20-30 minutes if you are escalating appropriately.

You know how you get them to feel a "toooooon of chemistry" as you put it? You create it via sexual escalation. When a woman tells you after a date "I didnt feel any chemistry" it means you didn't escalate enough sexually with her in date and she felt like you just were interested in being her friend.

If you are waiting to escalate at the end of the date you are simply setting yourself up for disappointment and losing out on a lot of lays.

Also its obvious by her actions at the end of the date she didn't share your opinion on how the date went...

 

[marmel75]

I can agree with this, but not at the same time.
I always feel when I go out with a woman from anywhere online it takes a bit for the woman to loosen up and to feel each other out. I’d say by 30-50 minutes in, I’ve already put my arm around them excitedly, or on their neck when I find something we connect on (say we both read).

Walking is the best for touching because your moving and even a slight brush on her hand or arm is subconsciously communicating to her to loosen up a bit or communicate trust if your words are also good.
Or when you sit in a bar; get up to use the washroom once, even if you don’t have to (always sit beside) and touch her shoulder arm when you leave and same thing when you get back.

However going for the lips mid-date, on the first encounter is high risk; to me. Because even if she really likes you, she could naturally just reject because it’s too fast as she iiiis still a stranger. And then if there is a rejection, the date just becomes awkward, really. So I’d much rather get rejected and then immediately eject to go home. Rather than potentially slugging through awkward moments both knowing what actually just took place.

I’ve never attempted the first date, mid date kiss. So please rebuttal and challenge this statement if you feel fit. I’m always looking to have my paradigms challenged

30-50 minutes and you've touched them? You should be doing this within the first 2 minutes they sit down...start making small incursions into their personal space. You notice a ring...grab their hand..."Thats a really cool ring..whats the story behind that". As they tell you about it keep holding their hand. Or my personal favorite, "Thats a cool necklace, whats the story behind that?" And keep holding it with the back of your hand resting against their cleavage.

You will lose far more lays from not being bold enough than you will from being too bold. You should be kissing her within 30 mnutes not touching her. And yes this is a first date and it doesn't matter where you met her. I used to do this with women i met online and I killed it.

 

[Paarth Shah]

I can agree with this, but not at the same time.
I always feel when I go out with a woman from anywhere online it takes a bit for the woman to loosen up and to feel each other out. I’d say by 30-50 minutes in, I’ve already put my arm around them excitedly, or on their neck when I find something we connect on (say we both read).

Walking is the best for touching because your moving and even a slight brush on her hand or arm is subconsciously communicating to her to loosen up a bit or communicate trust if your words are also good.
Or when you sit in a bar; get up to use the washroom once, even if you don’t have to (always sit beside) and touch her shoulder arm when you leave and same thing when you get back.

However going for the lips mid-date, on the first encounter is high risk; to me. Because even if she really likes you, she could naturally just reject because it’s too fast as she iiiis still a stranger. And then if there is a rejection, the date just becomes awkward, really. So I’d much rather get rejected and then immediately eject to go home. Rather than potentially slugging through awkward moments both knowing what actually just took place.

I’ve never attempted the first date, mid date kiss. So please rebuttal and challenge this statement if you feel fit. I’m always looking to have my paradigms challenged

I've done it, but always lead with a kiss on the cheek first to feel her out. If she seems appreciative or blushes, then you know that she'd be receptive. Typically use this only on evening dates, trying to kiss in day time of a packed lounge/cafe is always awkward.

 

[Jareamee]

Looks like I know what I’m going to be trying on the next first date I have...

Also.. if you’ve kiss closed on the first date, would you kiss first thing when seeing her on the second.
What sort of advances and plays do you implement on the second date?

 

[Spidah]

Don't kiss on the first date unless she invites you in or comes to your place.

 

[Jareamee]

Don't kiss on the first date unless she invites you in or comes to your place.

No way!
I read somewhere and it resonated as a completely true statement - always go in for a kiss somewhere on the first date. Always. If she rejects you it means she didn’t find you sexually attractive and probably never will, saying most behaviours and circumstances staying the same. Something inside her just doesn’t ‘feel it’. And it’s better to know on the first date than later that she’s ‘not feeling it’.
If a woman finds you sexually attractive, she will definitely accept the kiss fairly quickly in to it.

 

[Billtx49]

Never had this problem and still don’t, but back in the day, it was always an automatic kiss during or after a date out of nothing but female politeness.
Have females degraded that much in the last few years?
If you can’t get a kiss on a date, something is off the rails. Findit and fixit.

 

[guru1000]

No way!
I read somewhere and it resonated as a completely true statement - always go in for a kiss somewhere on the first date. Always. If she rejects you it means she didn’t find you sexually attractive and probably never will

Absolutely wrong.

 

[marmel75]

Don't kiss on the first date unless she invites you in or comes to your place.

Or you dont want to be her gay friend.

 

[Jareamee]

Absolutely wrong.

Okay maybe NEVER WILL is a bit strong. However it will be a bit more difficult to win her interest if she rejects you on the first date with something so simple as kiss, I imagine. Would like to hear your thoughts