Hesitancy when giving a number

[crowolf]

Hey, guys.

Quick question (for those who actually have some experience in cold approach):

What does it mean when a girl hesitates when giving me her number.

Let’s say the interaction before that was okay. Good energy, some comfort, some spikes, smiles, etc. For around 7-12 min. Looks hooked. Asks questions here and there.

But then, when it comes to exchanging contacts under the pretext of seeing each other another day soon, they will hesitate to give the number.

I had 2 of those today. My “defusing” of the situation is to say honestly and confidently “don’t worry, I won’t bother you. I will send you exactly 1 message, and you reply if you want to”.

Then, they will give their number. Oftentimes they want to exchange Instagram instead but I say I don’t like it because it’s fake.

Do you think this is a sign of a lack of comfort? Or they are not that interested? Or I should spike more and be more smooth so they don’t feel like I’m taking something from them?

Any ideas would be appreciated. (Unless they are nonsense.)

 

[Learning Curve]

I had 2 of those today. My “defusing” of the situation is to say honestly and confidently “don’t worry, I won’t bother you. I will send you exactly 1 message, and you reply if you want to”.

Wrong, you are justyfying why you want her number.

You are the man, she is the woman, you go for what you want without hesitation. No reason to justify it so she can give you her phone number.

This shows weakness from your side. And low confidence.

What you should have done instead is to open your phone keypad and give it to her and say "Here, type your number." that's it.

Nothing else. Strong, confident, and let her decline. Which usually they don't in my experience. They like this. Because it's instant and without hesitation, she has seconds to decide.

If she declines then That's fine, move on. "No worries, was nice meeting you (smile)" and that will be the end of your interaction.

There is also the "humour" part of it which you can use, but this is not for all women when asking for phone numbers.

Conclusion: never justify, go for what you want, if she declines it means A. She is not that into you or B. You have not build enough rapport for her to feel comfortable to share her phone number.

Also, Instagram is the new online tinder of dating. You should adapt and use it. I have scored many times from Insta, nothing wrong with it.

Aim for the number, if not get the insta and move on.

 

[BPH]

I had 2 of those today. My “defusing” of the situation is to say honestly and confidently “don’t worry, I won’t bother you. I will send you exactly 1 message, and you reply if you want to”.

Then, they will give their number. Oftentimes they want to exchange Instagram instead but I say I don’t like it because it’s fake.

Don't do this. It shows you lack confidence and by mentioning what you WON'T do you're putting those negative thoughts in her head.

Ask for the number, or better yet, tell her to give you her number, then stop talking.

If she hesitates, don't talk her into it, she's not that interested. Don't accept a "softball" like an Instagram or Snapchat either. You shouldn't have to convince her why she should be attracted to you - it should be apparent by how you carry yourself, how to interact with her, the effort you put into your appearance, etc.

Additionally, 7-12 minutes for a cold approach is probably too long. You're overstaying your welcome and whatever attraction she has for you is fading because you're having a friendly conversation rather than being flirty. Just state your attraction, ask if her she's free X (later tonight, this weekend), get her number, optionally send her a text right then and there/call her so she knows who it is (and you know it's not fake), and leave.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I've done about 2 thousand cold approaches in the last 18 months

Any hesitation in giving the details generally means she's not that interested in you or the approach wasn't good/smooth enough

 

[Agamemnon43]

I've done about 2 thousand cold approaches in the last 18 months

Any hesitation in giving the details generally means she's not that interested in you or the approach wasn't good/smooth enough

4 approaches per day? Is there any time left for other things in life?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Any hesitation in giving the details generally means she's not that interested in you or the approach wasn't good/smooth enough

I express such disinterest that they initiate sharing contact info. I prefer giving them my IG, I don't want to be called by random women. They have to earn access to my phone number.

If I were a 'player' like you, I'd have a burner phone for all those 'contacts' and keep the phone on vibrating only.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Do you think this is a sign of a lack of comfort? Or they are not that interested? Or I should spike more and be more smooth so they don’t feel like I’m taking something from them?

Could be any number of factors. E.g. she has a boyfriend. Put yourself in a woman's shoes. They get hit on constantly and there are a lot of awful and dangerous men out there. They screen from a very early age.

I just roll with it. If she's not interested, I'll know soon enough if not already.

 

[crowolf]

Thank you all for the feedback.

Update: Both girls didn't reply. Feels sh1tty but it is what it is.

I will try something else in the future when this hesitancy shows up. Might post here about it.

 

[holidayad_]

Thank you all for the feedback.

Update: Both girls didn't reply. Feels sh1tty but it is what it is.

I will try something else in the future when this hesitancy shows up. Might post here about it.

At least you approached them.

Now you just have to refine the interaction.

Keep going.

 

[DarwinTaurus]

I've done about 2 thousand cold approaches in the last 18 months

Any hesitation in giving the details generally means she's not that interested in you or the approach wasn't good/smooth enough

I'm curious, out of those 2,000 cold approaches, what was your success rate?

 

[SW15]

If she hesitates, don't talk her into it, she's not that interested.

I agree.

7-12 minutes for a cold approach is probably too long. You're overstaying your welcome and whatever attraction she has for you is fading because you're having a friendly conversation rather than being flirty. Just state your attraction, ask if her she's free X (later tonight, this weekend), get her number, optionally send her a text right then and there/call her so she knows who it is (and you know it's not fake), and leave.

I wouldn't think it is too long but I would caution that is on the longer side. More time in an approach is good for assessing first date success and avoiding what could be an incompatible first date. I'm looking for first dates that will turn into second dates.

Some men will go super direct with an immediate ask out. I don't think that's the best idea but some men are good looking enough to get away with that.

The majority of approaches fizzle out in the first 60 seconds.

I think 5 minutes is about right for an approach.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I'm curious, out of those 2,000 cold approaches, what was your success rate?

last year was poor but I was nervous in many instances and lacking confidence

a nervous / unsure man terrifies women

this year ive been on fire moved to Australia and slept with 12 women , 2 weeks ago I picked a chick up at a bar on a Thursday evening went back to hers fvcked her , fvcked her again in the morning and then that evening went over another chicks house where she cooked me dinner and fvcked me

Both of these girls were 7's

^^^^

this scenario is what most players are going to strive for 2 women in 24 hours is .But to get there you do need to put in those hours and do the approaches

Its strange because once a woman knows your comfortable with women and she feels safe with you sex almost becomes a given

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Most likely lack of interest.

Usually tho women will give their number just to get out of the situation even if they aren't interested since it's safer to reject or not respond to a guy thru text when they are far away from them than when they are in front of them and they might get butthurt and act crazy

 

[Bingo-Player]

4 approaches per day? Is there any time left for other things in life?

These are not cold approaches like you see them bum's doing on the streets recording themselves

Mine are just women I come across in my day to day life , sometimes on a night out for example I could hit maybe 20 in one evening

a festival maybe double that

I remember I went to Benidorm last year for a bachelor party I must have done about 100 there in 4 days

all you need to do is get the experience in the outcome doesn't really matter at some stage it will just all click together and you'll know what your doing

All women pretty much respond to the same stuff , the prime objective is to just signal you aren't phased by her beauty and too demonstrate you are the one in control even if that means literally leaving her on the spot for another woman

( I did this with a model one evening and after i bumped into her again we had sex shortly after )

Once she senses that your legit she will submit and often sex won't be far behind, women love sex especially if you know what your doing

 

[Clockwerk50]

Thank you all for the feedback.

Update: Both girls didn't reply. Feels sh1tty but it is what it is.

I will try something else in the future when this hesitancy shows up. Might post here about it.

Mastery is not an accident. It's the result of dedication, practice and refusing to give up.

 

[DarwinTaurus]

@Bingo-Player What part of Australia are you in?