Hesitancy when giving a number

[crowolf]

Hey, guys.

Quick question (for those who actually have some experience in cold approach):

What does it mean when a girl hesitates when giving me her number.

Let’s say the interaction before that was okay. Good energy, some comfort, some spikes, smiles, etc. For around 7-12 min. Looks hooked. Asks questions here and there.

But then, when it comes to exchanging contacts under the pretext of seeing each other another day soon, they will hesitate to give the number.

I had 2 of those today. My “defusing” of the situation is to say honestly and confidently “don’t worry, I won’t bother you. I will send you exactly 1 message, and you reply if you want to”.

Then, they will give their number. Oftentimes they want to exchange Instagram instead but I say I don’t like it because it’s fake.

Do you think this is a sign of a lack of comfort? Or they are not that interested? Or I should spike more and be more smooth so they don’t feel like I’m taking something from them?

Any ideas would be appreciated. (Unless they are nonsense.)

 

[Learning Curve]

I had 2 of those today. My “defusing” of the situation is to say honestly and confidently “don’t worry, I won’t bother you. I will send you exactly 1 message, and you reply if you want to”.

Wrong, you are justyfying why you want her number.

You are the man, she is the woman, you go for what you want without hesitation. No reason to justify it so she can give you her phone number.

This shows weakness from your side. And low confidence.

What you should have done instead is to open your phone keypad and give it to her and say "Here, type your number." that's it.

Nothing else. Strong, confident, and let her decline. Which usually they don't in my experience. They like this. Because it's instant and without hesitation, she has seconds to decide.

If she declines then That's fine, move on. "No worries, was nice meeting you (smile)" and that will be the end of your interaction.

There is also the "humour" part of it which you can use, but this is not for all women when asking for phone numbers.

Conclusion: never justify, go for what you want, if she declines it means A. She is not that into you or B. You have not build enough rapport for her to feel comfortable to share her phone number.

Also, Instagram is the new online tinder of dating. You should adapt and use it. I have scored many times from Insta, nothing wrong with it.

Aim for the number, if not get the insta and move on.

 

[BPH]

I had 2 of those today. My “defusing” of the situation is to say honestly and confidently “don’t worry, I won’t bother you. I will send you exactly 1 message, and you reply if you want to”.

Then, they will give their number. Oftentimes they want to exchange Instagram instead but I say I don’t like it because it’s fake.

Don't do this. It shows you lack confidence and by mentioning what you WON'T do you're putting those negative thoughts in her head.

Ask for the number, or better yet, tell her to give you her number, then stop talking.

If she hesitates, don't talk her into it, she's not that interested. Don't accept a "softball" like an Instagram or Snapchat either. You shouldn't have to convince her why she should be attracted to you - it should be apparent by how you carry yourself, how to interact with her, the effort you put into your appearance, etc.

Additionally, 7-12 minutes for a cold approach is probably too long. You're overstaying your welcome and whatever attraction she has for you is fading because you're having a friendly conversation rather than being flirty. Just state your attraction, ask if her she's free X (later tonight, this weekend), get her number, optionally send her a text right then and there/call her so she knows who it is (and you know it's not fake), and leave.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I've done about 2 thousand cold approaches in the last 18 months

Any hesitation in giving the details generally means she's not that interested in you or the approach wasn't good/smooth enough

 

[Agamemnon43]

I've done about 2 thousand cold approaches in the last 18 months

Any hesitation in giving the details generally means she's not that interested in you or the approach wasn't good/smooth enough

4 approaches per day? Is there any time left for other things in life?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Any hesitation in giving the details generally means she's not that interested in you or the approach wasn't good/smooth enough

I express such disinterest that they initiate sharing contact info. I prefer giving them my IG, I don't want to be called by random women. They have to earn access to my phone number.

If I were a 'player' like you, I'd have a burner phone for all those 'contacts' and keep the phone on vibrating only.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Do you think this is a sign of a lack of comfort? Or they are not that interested? Or I should spike more and be more smooth so they don’t feel like I’m taking something from them?

Could be any number of factors. E.g. she has a boyfriend. Put yourself in a woman's shoes. They get hit on constantly and there are a lot of awful and dangerous men out there. They screen from a very early age.

I just roll with it. If she's not interested, I'll know soon enough if not already.