Here is how you get a long term relationship that is fulfilling and has minimal drama

[RickTheToad]

Yup. Bad idea. People think I'm being a prude, but I'm just being real. If you move in with a chick, you know you wouldn't marry, or to see if you might wanna marry her, you essentially just married a chick that you either didn't to marry or weren't sure about. Not smart.

If you really can't help it, at least do what Rick says....but 99% of guys will back down, as soon as she starts stroking your d ick, batting her eyes, and whispering, "you don't weally need me to sign your widdle piece of paper, do you?" Their eyes will roll back in their heads, as their tear up Rick's carefully drafted contracts.

P ussy is pretty easy to come by these days. As soon as your b itch leaves, another is available down the block. Sad, but true. Whether she be disease free, well, not too sure about that one. A dude backs down after telling (not asking) his legal partner to sign a contract with her own legal representation is foolish and makes him look really bad. She will actually lose respect if a dude backs down after "the talk".

1st marriages have a 50% - 55% failure rate.
2nd marriages have a 60% - 72% failure rate.
3rd marriages have over a 70% failure rate.

Why would anyone blindly go into a contract like this? Especially when contract law doesn't even apply' without a trust, pre-nup, post-nup (also should be reaffirmed each year) and a cohabitation agreement.. Seems like a lot of work for a license with the chance of failure so damn high.

 

[RickTheToad]

My wife isn't on my deed, either, and no shared accounts(don't even use the same bank)....not that it would really make much difference, if it ever came to it.

How did you manage to get an annulment? How long were you married?

Doesn't matter, if she did any or assisted with any "improvements", even hanging a freaking painting, it can be argued that she helped enhance the value of the home. So, if the home value goes up during your marriage, she can have an equitable interest in that growth. It's complete BS, because if it goes down in value, she doesn't have to give any money to the homeowner.

I first filed for divorce, then when she challenged me, I changed to to an annulment. It was only a little over a year. She was an absolute nightmare after the deed. It was a fight as the legal disillusion took about the same amount of time as the marriage. As I've said in another post, this GF is now hinting on marriage, I think I'd have to let another one walk. I've already shown two others to the door. It is a shame, as I do like this one, and she's head over heels for me. She started giving me copies of her blood work to clear that she doesn't have any STDs w/o me even asking. But, again, the license scares the sh it out of me. I know she'd get nothing, but those lawyer bills are $$$$$$$$$$. All in all, I spent like 30k in legal fees just to undo the knot. No way to protect against legal fees. I'd take care of my kids, which I do want, but if we separate, the b itch, and b itch, gets sh it. This no fault divorce crap... Scary stuff dude.

 

[RickTheToad]

I only know the story from his telling, but I think the problem was the restraining order, and the fact that she'd been able to get the court to affirm his house as her legal place of residence. That combination of facts essentially barred him from access to his own property. I'm not sure whether she was able to eventually deprive him of title to his house, but it's a sufficiently nightmarish tale, as is.

Sounds like hell.

 

[zekko]

1st marriages have a 50% - 55% failure rate.
2nd marriages have a 60% - 72% failure rate.
3rd marriages have over a 70% failure rate.

Why would anyone blindly go into a contract like this?

Its because people always think they are the exception. "It can't happen to me. I'm not like everybody else, I know all the pitfalls and I've done things the right way so things will work out for me". Same reason most guys here think they're 8's or above in looks. Delusional self confidence.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you have to set groundrules you are doing something wrong. She knows what is and isn't acceptable in a relationship. You trying to force behavior on her shows you are controlling and insecure.

 

[EyeBRollin]

If you have to set groundrules you are doing something wrong. She knows what is and isn't acceptable in a relationship. You trying to force behavior on her shows you are controlling and insecure.

Setting the terms of a deal is always prudent. So this is a completely false implication. Would you go to work without any employment contract?

 

[EyeBRollin]

If you have to set groundrules you are doing something wrong. She knows what is and isn't acceptable in a relationship. You trying to force behavior on her shows you are controlling and insecure.

Please do explain what is controlling about spelling out expectations and giving her the choice to walk.

 

[AttackFormation]

1st marriages have a 50% - 55% failure rate.
2nd marriages have a 60% - 72% failure rate.
3rd marriages have over a 70% failure rate.

These crude rates are misleading at best. To get an accurate picture you have to break it down into a large multitude of demographics:

- Educational attainment
- Ethnicity (including whether both are the same ethnicity, and if not, which of the man and woman is what ethnicity; for example in America black man+white woman like my parents = higher risk of divorce than white+white, but white man+black woman = lower risk of divorce than white+white, and asians overall have the lowest risk of divorce)
- Income
- Age of marriage
- Age of first sexual activity (could only find this for women so far)
- Number of previous sexual partners (again only found a study that shows correlation for women so far)
- Religious attendance (this is also the one factor that lowers odds of cheating among both genders)
- Previous divorces (you did note this)
- Occupation (the divorce rates actually vary wildly by occupation)

The odds of divorce are completely different depending on which demographics the couple fits into, to the point that it's practically irrelevant to group them all together into into one statistic and use it as a bludgeon.

I haven't yet found a comprehensive regression analysis to begin sorting out which variables are more symptomatic of other variables and which are more causative (for example, the fact that higher education is associated with lower divorce may be because high education leads to higher income which is what really matters - or they may both matter, or other factors that lead to divorce may just be more concentrated in people with lower education), but I'm looking for it. Without a comprehensive regression analysis, even all of these demographic factors are just guesses in the dark too statistically speaking.

 

[EyeBRollin]

These crude rates are misleading at best. To get an accurate picture you have to break it down into a large multitude of demographics:

- Educational attainment
- Ethnicity (including whether both are the same ethnicity, and if not, which of the man and woman is what ethnicity; for example in America black man+white woman like my parents = higher risk of divorce than white+white, but white man+black woman = lower risk of divorce than white+white, and asians overall have the lowest risk of divorce)
- Income
- Age of marriage
- Age of first sexual activity (could only find this for women so far)
- Number of previous sexual partners (again only found a study that shows correlation for women so far)
- Religious attendance (this is also the one factor that lowers odds of cheating among both genders)
- Previous divorces (you did note this)
- Occupation (the divorce rates actually vary wildly by occupation)

The odds of divorce are completely different depending on which demographics the couple fits into, to the point that it's practically irrelevant to group them all together into into one statistic and use it as a bludgeon.

I haven't yet found a comprehensive regression analysis to begin sorting out which variables are more symptomatic of other variables and which are more causative, but I'm looking for it.

Socioeconomic indicators are predictive of divorce more so then anything else. Believe it or not, the lowest divorce rates are in Massachusetts and New Jersey - extremely affluent, highly educated states.

 

[RickTheToad]

Its because people always think they are the exception. "It can't happen to me. I'm not like everybody else, I know all the pitfalls and I've done things the right way so things will work out for me". Same reason most guys here think they're 8's or above in looks. Delusional self confidence.

Not everyone can be a 10 or 11 like some of the alpha's here (sarcasm).

 

[AttackFormation]

Socioeconomic indicators are predictive of divorce more so then anything else. Believe it or not, the lowest divorce rates are in Massachusetts and New Jersey - extremely affluent, highly educated states.

Indeed.

Two high school dropouts, working as bartender and massage therapist, who make low incomes, black man + white woman, who are both irreligious, who married very young, have a relatively very high correlation to divorce.

Conversely two highly educateds, working as dentist and audiologist, who make higher incomes, white man + black woman, who are both religiously devout, who married past 25, have a relatively very low correlation to divorce.

I will be looking into a comprehensive analysis.

 

[RickTheToad]

These crude rates are misleading at best. To get an accurate picture you have to break it down into a large multitude of demographics:

- Educational attainment
- Ethnicity (including whether both are the same ethnicity, and if not, which of the man and woman is what ethnicity; for example in America black man+white woman like my parents = higher risk of divorce than white+white, but white man+black woman = lower risk of divorce than white+white, and asians overall have the lowest risk of divorce)
- Income
- Age of marriage
- Age of first sexual activity (could only find this for women so far)
- Number of previous sexual partners (again only found a study that shows correlation for women so far)
- Religious attendance (this is also the one factor that lowers odds of cheating among both genders)
- Previous divorces (you did note this)
- Occupation (the divorce rates actually vary wildly by occupation)

The odds of divorce are completely different depending on which demographics the couple fits into, to the point that it's practically irrelevant to group them all together into into one statistic and use it as a bludgeon.

I haven't yet found a comprehensive regression analysis to begin sorting out which variables are more symptomatic of other variables and which are more causative (for example, the fact that higher education is associated with lower divorce may be because high education leads to higher income which is what really matters - or they may both matter, or other factors that lead to divorce may just be more concentrated in people with lower education), but I'm looking for it. Without a comprehensive regression analysis, even all of these demographic factors are just guesses in the dark too statistically speaking.

They are pretty acurate. I posted the sources from the gov't and planned parenthood in another thread. Again, this is for the US, not the Swed's. However, think however you wish.

 

[AttackFormation]

They are pretty acurate. I posted the sources from the gov't and planned parenthood in another thread. Again, this is for the US, not the Swed's. However, think however you wish.

"Think however you wish", are you kidding me? I just described that the crude rate is misleading because you have to break it down by demographic factors for it to be relevant to each case, just like you can't calculate the risk of a tornado by taking the whole globe into account but rather you have to break it down into different factors like geography and time of year. Do you actually not understand what I mean?

 

[RickTheToad]

"Think however you wish", are you kidding me? I just described that the crude rate is misleading because you have to break it down by demographic factors, just like you can't calculate the risk of a tornado by taking the whole globe into account but rather you have to break it down into different factors like geography and time of year. Do you actually not understand what I mean?

No, it the sources I posted, it was broken down by race, income, etc. You are mistaken.

 

[AttackFormation]

No, it the sources I posted, it was broken down by race, income, etc. You are mistaken.

You didn't break it down by any factors in this thread.

 

[RickTheToad]

Here you go chica.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr049.pdf

NVSS - Marriages and Divorces

www.cdc.gov

https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/working-papers/2018/demo/SEHSD-WP2018-11.pdf

The Growing Racial and Ethnic Divide in U.S. Marriage Patterns - PMC

The United States shows striking racial and ethnic differences in marriage patterns. Compared to both white and Hispanic women, black women marry later in life, are less likely to marry at all, and have higher rates of marital instability. Kelly ...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

 

[AttackFormation]

Here's a chart on odds of "very high" marital satisfaction correlated with previous sexual partners. For both men and women, there is a variable but overall trend of decreased marital satisfaction the more sexual partners they've had prior to marriage. Interestingly it's men who have the larger decline from their baseline, but men are still always more satisfied than the equivalent women.



I think I'm gonna put all of this stuff together in a thread of my own, but this is a little piece that might surprise you guys.

 

[AttackFormation]

Here you go chica.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr049.pdf

NVSS - Marriages and Divorces

www.cdc.gov

https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/working-papers/2018/demo/SEHSD-WP2018-11.pdf

The Growing Racial and Ethnic Divide in U.S. Marriage Patterns - PMC

The United States shows striking racial and ethnic differences in marriage patterns. Compared to both white and Hispanic women, black women marry later in life, are less likely to marry at all, and have higher rates of marital instability. Kelly ...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Thank you daddy. I'll look through it.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Here you go chica.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr049.pdf

NVSS - Marriages and Divorces

www.cdc.gov

https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/working-papers/2018/demo/SEHSD-WP2018-11.pdf

The Growing Racial and Ethnic Divide in U.S. Marriage Patterns - PMC

The United States shows striking racial and ethnic differences in marriage patterns. Compared to both white and Hispanic women, black women marry later in life, are less likely to marry at all, and have higher rates of marital instability. Kelly ...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

It’s a bullshvt analysis because race isn’t fully disassociated from the socioeconomic conditions.

 

[EyeBRollin]

If you want to bring things out by race, you’d have to compare per race the couples married at the same age in the same income bracket with the same educational attainment. These studies are so bad at isolating the variable in question

Example:
Household income of $100,000-200,000, both spouses with a 4 year degree or higher, with a large enough sample to compare (minimum number of couples say 1,000) that qualify.