Her so-called "Platonic" Guy Friends...

[maranathaman]

Hi! I haven't been here in a long time!
I have met a nice lady on the internet and we have been talking alot.
Everything seemed to be going very well, until today.
She told me that most of her friends are"platonic guy friends".
This raises a yellow-flag for me!
Secondly, she told me that she had a 12 hour sex marathon one time
with one of her so-called "platonic" guy friends,
but that it was a mistake and they are just friends now.
Yet she still talks with him on the phone several times a week.
Also she said that another one of her platonic guy friends left her a voicemail
last night asking her out on a date.
She told me that she has no intention of dating him.
Her having these and other so-called "platonic guy-friends"bothers me alot.
If I just thought of her as a piece of ass, then I wouldn't be bothered,
but I think of her as more long term relationship material.
This issue I think is probably a deal-breaker for me.
She had told me that she doesn't want to share me with other women,
yet she expects me to be willing to share her with her "platonic"guy-friends.
I honestly don't think that any guy who thought of her as more than a piece of ass,
would be willing to have a girlfriend or wife that has a bunch of guyfriends.
What do you guys think I should say/do?
Thanx! and it's good to be back!

 

[Bible_Belt]

I think of her as more long term relationship material.

Ah, but is it mutual? It does not sound like it, or she would not be telling you these things.

 

[joekerr31]

you have to understand that for some women men are like dogs - cute little pets to have around to keep her company.

it sounds to me like this woman sees you as her pet.

if she were serious about developing a deep LTR with you she would NOT be telling you about previous guys she has f*cked or that she is still talking with them.

this is her passive aggressive way, or covert way, of telling you - IM IN CHARGE HERE MISTER, so get your AFC hat on and get ready to be my drama b*tch and to spend all your time trying to keep me interested in you. and if you don't i'll just go f*ck one of my male friends - any which of whom would be happy to do the job no strings attached.

when women tell you about the previous men they have scr*wed your spidey senses shoudl go off. it's one of the biggest signs that she is in to playing mind games big time.

 

[Sinistar]

Platonic Guy Friends ==> multiple guys wildly fvcking her feeding her attention and ego. They are her plates, her girlfriends, etc.

NEXT this one first,

Ask questions later.

but I think of her as more long term relationship material.

...did you really write that and discuss multitudes on "platonic guy friends" in the same post???

 

[maranathaman]

I think you guys are right!
If she'd rather have her guy-friends/ego-boosters
than me,
then she isn't worth me investing anything further in her.
Afterall, would ANY guy with a pair of balls allow this
to continue?

 

[CF9]

Yep, she's definitely an attention hor... I just kicked one of those to the curb about 2 weeks into getting to know her. Once I found out she had a large contingent of male groupies, I went on my way.

 

[bigjohnson]

I would think of her as 14 hour sex marathon material. Think about it. "How about we set a new record?"

 

[RedPill]

Your challenges:

1. you spend "alot" of time talking to her, but you've never banged her
2. you're idealizing her as LTR material when she's talking about fukking other guys
3. you're getting sucked in and worked up by this woman's reality and contrivances
4. you don't seem to understand what the concept of platonic friends means in chick-world
5. you care (i.e. oneitis)

Alright, seriously... You mean to tell us you first found this forum back in June of 2000, have made 1,300+ posts here, and yet this is as far as you've evolved in your understanding of the sexes? Seven fukking years and this is where you're at in your personal progression? If I think about this any longer it's going to give me an aneurysm.

Scroll down to the bottom, click on the link that says "The DJ Bible" and get back to us.

 

[maranathaman]

I admit I'm rusty, and I haven't been on here in a couple of years.
But, if you have nothing to say but put-downs, then stay the f-off my thread
and allow others with something constructive to say have the bandwidth...

Your challenges:

1. you spend "alot" of time talking to her, but you've never banged her
2. you're idealizing her as LTR material when she's talking about fukking other guys
3. you're getting sucked in and worked up by this woman's reality and contrivances
4. you don't seem to understand what the concept of platonic friends means in chick-world
5. you care (i.e. oneitis)

Alright, seriously... You mean to tell us you first found this forum back in June of 2000, have made 1,300+ posts here, and yet this is as far as you've evolved in your understanding of the sexes? Seven fukking years and this is where you're at in your personal progression? If I think about this any longer it's going to give me an aneurysm.

Scroll down to the bottom, click on the link that says "The DJ Bible" and get back to us.

 

[jophil28]

This woman is telling you that YOU are about to be added to the list of attention providing/sex toys that she has in her life. The label of "platonic friends" is a dishonest attempt to make you believe that she has a vacancy for a lover or S/O and you are a good candidate. The other guys are just "friends" and therefore not really rivals -the position of lover is 'vacant.'
The reality is that she is hunting some 'fresh meat' and you are walking into the trap. The internet is a perfect opportunity for women to do this.
A "12 hour sex marathon " ? At which hour did she realize that it was a mistake?
This story may be her way if trying to entice you into her web by telling you that she is a very sexual woman .

I agree with JOKERR- she is trying to set things up so that she has all the power. These women are miserable mindgamers and you will wind up mind-fvcked if you connect with her. THis "lady" is not LTR material. Maybe a desperate F/buddy AT BEST .
I would not go on one date with someone who had all this baggage
However give her one point for telling you openly that she is a SLVT.

 

[maranathaman]

Point well-taken!

 

[bigjohnson]

If I just thought of her as a piece of ass, then I wouldn't be bothered ....

Well there's your problem! Wow.

 

[maranathaman]

True!

 

[Interceptor]

Maranathaman,
Dude, let go of any expectations for an LTR, and just enjoy her company and her sex.
Problem soved.
Have a good time, man.
Don't feel guilty becasue you're indulging in some pleasure.
You admitted you've been out of the game for a while. And, well...RedPill has a point,man. Have you learned nothing since 2000?
Come on, man.
Use this as a learning, and growth opportunity.
Don't get emotionally invested in a woman whom is clearly stating her boundaries, and thus, she is being upfront enough to tell you so. Respect at the very least her honesty in warning you.
If you "fall in love" with her, despite her warnings, as it were, then only you would be to blame.
Don't let us say "We told you so!!!"

Good luck ,and have fun. man.
Enjoy life

 

[KontrollerX]

This one has Histrionic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder written all over it.

Run like the wind and do not look back.

She's not your soulmate or the one even if it feels like she's that one in a million special girl.

The things she told you are exactly what the HPD's and BPD's say.

That sex marathon thing could be true or false but the point of her telling you that was to get a reaction out of you to gauge how much control she can have over you.

If you won't act jealous she'll put you on her male rotation but the problem is things will just keep getting crazier and crazier until you can no longer take it or she drops you.

Its not worth it.

 

[jophil28]

This story highlights another point , and that is the crass,self-centered and breathtaking 'double standards' which some women use quite readily on the dating scene..

She wants you to be exclusive to her but is telling you this message (without using the exact words ) . " I want to see other men and date them when I feel like it. I am going to attempt to 'sell' this deal to you by calling them 'platonic', but I have f**ked one of them and another wants to date me ( why do men go on dates with women-to create a platonic friendship ?)
I turned him down (but I might accept his next invitation) BUT I am sure that he will ask again and YOU better know that you will always have competition. There will always be guys waiting in the wings should you step out of line." ....
BUT she does not want you to see other women !!!
She is a POWER PLAYER. She wants it all just to her liking..She loves the control position and is not bothered in the slightest about HOW she gets all the power.
There is only one situation that I can think about that would be worse. That is if she had the other guys in the shadows and did NOT tell you before you went in.

 

[maranathaman]

I agree!

Actually, SHE was the one who made it clear she was looking for a LTR.
She also said that she would have no problem introducing me as her BF to her guyfriends.
So if I just decide to think of her as nothing more than a
fuk-buddy, then problem-solved I guess.
However, it seems like she wants to make-sure that I don't mess with other girls,
but she wants a double-standard, cause
she wants me to be ok with her having guy friends....

Maranathaman,
Dude, let go of any expectations for an LTR, and just enjoy her company and her sex.
Problem soved.
Have a good time, man.
Don't feel guilty becasue you're indulging in some pleasure.
You admitted you've been out of the game for a while. And, well...RedPill has a point,man. Have you learned nothing since 2000?
Come on, man.
Use this as a learning, and growth opportunity.
Don't get emotionally invested in a woman whom is clearly stating her boundaries, and thus, she is being upfront enough to tell you so. Respect at the very least her honesty in warning you.
If you "fall in love" with her, despite her warnings, as it were, then only you would be to blame.
Don't let us say "We told you so!!!"

Good luck ,and have fun. man.
Enjoy life

 

[maranathaman]

Werd!

I think You nailed-it!
She is laying a double-standard on my ass!

This story highlights another point , and that is the crass,self-centered and breathtaking 'double standards' which some women use quite readily on the dating scene..

She wants you to be exclusive to her but is telling you this message (without using the exact words ) . " I want to see other men and date them when I feel like it. I am going to attempt to 'sell' this deal to you by calling them 'platonic', but I have f**ked one of them and another wants to date me ( why do men go on dates with women-to create a platonic friendship ?)
I turned him down (but I might accept his next invitation) BUT I am sure that he will ask again and YOU better know that you will always have competition. There will always be guys waiting in the wings should you step out of line." ....
BUT she does not want you to see other women !!!
She is a POWER PLAYER. She wants it all just to her liking..She loves the control position and is not bothered in the slightest about HOW she gets all the power.
There is only one situation that I can think about that would be worse. That is if she had the other guys in the shadows and did NOT tell you before you went in.

 

[Interceptor]

Well, OK then.
Speaking for myself, I wouldn't care abou ther guy friends as long as I was nailing her at my convenince. At this point I would have let go of any expectations of an LTR. And simply agree to a FB situation.
No emotional ionvestment, no strings attached, no double standard.

I guess you've got it bad for her, real bad. This is going to be your undoing.
How you could seriously consider this broad for LTR material is beyond me.

Oh well. You were given good advice. If you don't want to follow it........
Be prepared for a learning experience.
:kick:

 

[jophil28]

I have had a 'relationship' with a 'lady' like this. SHe played the same mind games with me as your woman is playing .MIne saw other male 'friends' for cheap attention.( you see, to these women it really does not matter whether she f**ks men or not as much as knowing that they WANT to F**K her. It is Attention ***** stuff.

These women intoduce sexual "talk" early in the relationship to entice you, then they F**k you hot and heavy for a few weeks to set the hook and then the withdrawal begins, and then they mindfvck you every time they need a power-boost . Nasty, evil, BPD baitches. Go there at your peril.