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[Die Hard]

Nope...doesn't sound right at all. I'm sure you can figure out the flaws in your analysis if you pay close attention to what I wrote. Let me just add that she started acting "pathological" 3 days after our date.

Anyway, I'll be in the club in 30 minutes. Wish me a good hunting!

 

[st_99]

Assuming she is cluster B, what is it with these girls that make them so damn good at creating quick infatuation? They are just so damn good at it. They'll take the most experienced DJ and put them in at least a temporary trance. Weird.

 

[zekko]

To recap:

1. Meet great chick that has mutual attraction.
2. Chick is very enthusiastic about moving things forward.
3. You hesitate because of paranoia about bringing her back to your place.
4. Chick starts **** testing you.
5. You withdraw and let her go.

Does this sound right?

Do you think maybe she got irritated with your dragging things on without making a move on her, hence the **** testing because she began feeling rejected?

No where do I see any indication of you initiating anything beyond phone calls.

I've got to agree with Taz here. You meet a girl, things are going along well, and then instead of moving things along forward you insert game playing into the situation. So she starts giving your games right back to you, you get offended, and the whole thing goes nowhere.

The girl shows you high interest and you are worried about that. Then you start playing games and she gets more distant, and that offends you. Seems like you're not happy one way or the other.

You had this girl in the palm of your hand and completely self sabotaged it. It makes me wonder if you're afraid of success?

 

[Die Hard]

I started playing games? Ehmmm, how's that?

 

[zekko]

I started playing games? Ehmmm, how's that?

It started when you said this:
"Anyway, I've been holding back with texting today. As soon as I turned on my phone this morning, I received a sweet text from her, lol. But I took some distance from her in my replies and she eventually responded by doing the same".

Then you say:
"She wants to come over to my place to get fvcked".
You say this is fine with you, but then in the same post you start going on about not wanting her to know where you live.

You started out very enthusiastic with this girl, then you started worrying about your feelings, and started pushing her away, trying to create distance. I'm sure she picked up on that.
Bottom line, instead of just escalating and moving forward, you started to put on the brakes and got preoccupied with all this weirdness on the side.

 

[Fred_Scuttle]

Read all of it! she sure sounds off her rocker to me and when you see she is crazy you head straight for the door. how old was she?

 

[Die Hard]

She was very young. She was even insecure about it, thinking I would not be interested in her because she was so much younger than me.

Zekko, you draw all kinds of premature conclusions based on very limited knowledge of everything that happened between her and me. I respect and appreciate your advice/opinion, but I have a very clear view on the whole situation and feel no need to continue this discussion with you.


P.S. I kiss closed some chick with a big azz but a pretty face in the club tonight

 

[Tazman]

Do you intentionally leave out details that would make the situation a lot more clearer to the people responding to your posts?

Zekko's post was actually rather reasonable given the information provided, and I'm not saying this because he agreed with me.

I don't know man, this is the first time I've ever used this term, but I'm becoming inclined to believe you're "trolling" rather than looking for genuine feedback.

Not that you would care about my opinion, I'm just throwing it out there.

 

[Fred_Scuttle]

you're only 30. you sound like me when you say very young. to me very young is 30. she can't be in her late 20's since youre 30. 25 is close to 30. so i assume early 20's maybe 19 perhaps? youre very secretive in all your messages. it is very hard for me to gather what the deal is here. we know she is crazy from what you tell us about her. why can't you tell us her age or why you don't want her to going to your place or what she was doing to attack you?

 

[Die Hard]

I'll be as clear as I can... I simply have no need for further feedback.

Taz and Zekko, your analyses are incorrect and I feel no need to discuss them. It should be clear to you from my OP and other posts that I was never looking for anyone to make such analyses throughout this thread. You decided to do so anyway and now you're frustrated that I won't respond to it. Sorry, not my problem...

Fred, if I want anyone here to help me figure out some specific matter, then I will give specific details about that matter so others can analyze it and help me figure it out. Clearly, if I can figure something out for myself (which applies to most of the things I spoke of in this thread), I'm not gonna give extensive details about it. It has nothing to do with being secretive...

 

[Die Hard]

Assuming she is cluster B, what is it with these girls that make them so damn good at creating quick infatuation? They are just so damn good at it. They'll take the most experienced DJ and put them in at least a temporary trance. Weird.

Whole books can be written about BPD's, it's an incredibly complex subject. I'll just say this:

The very nature of their personalities is incomplete and inconsistent. Their ideas, emotions, personality traits etc. it's all one incongruent, unstable, chaotic mess. During our lifes, through interacting with other people, we learn that certain personality traits go together, certain behavior indicates other behavior etc. And so we learn to 'read' people, we develop a system through which we can categorize people and their behavior.

BPD's are in a category of their own. The system we use to categorize people and their behavior basically doesn't work on them, we can't figure them out, can't get any grasp on how their mind works or how their behavior works. So, when we encounter these creatures and start interacting more and more with them, the result is that we start experiencing a state of 'helplessness', 'confusion' and 'disorientation'. This is the perfect state for others to psychologically dominate you, take control over your mind and manipulate you into doing whatever they want...

 

[Tazman]

Taz and Zekko, your analyses are incorrect and I feel no need to discuss them. It should be clear to you from my OP and other posts that I was never looking for anyone to make such analyses throughout this thread. You decided to do so anyway and now you're frustrated that I won't respond to it. Sorry, not my problem...

Actually, the title and your OP post imply you did, but it's blatantly obvious you didn't like the responses and became defensive.

I never pressed you for details. In fact, not once did I ask you to elaborate on anything beyond a yes or no.

All you ever said about this chick was that she sh-t tested you. Somehow that's supposed to paint a clear picture about her character, even though all women sh-t test men to varying degrees and under various circumstances. While providing no information about what these sh-t tests consisted of.

My job involves troubleshooting and I enjoy it. My replying to this thread was a form of problem solving. I'm not a woman looking for juicy gossip to talk about with friends. If you want to omit details that would give more context to your posts I'm not going to try and force them out of you, it really doesn't matter as we're complete strangers on an anonymous message board.

Given the information provided I felt myself and others gave reasonable assessments. That's all I was saying, your personal life is of no consequence to me.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Question -- What is so bad about feeling warmth from someone? Some people want healthy relationships and are seeking mates that can potentially provide them with this. What you may be entering into could bring good things into your life.

At some point if you want an LTR playing her is not going to work as well and you're going to have to have some real foundation there. There are going to be problems and both of your emotional vulnerabilities and difficulties are going to be highlighted. There is going to need to be good communication and proper action and this is not easy.

What I am saying really is there's nothing wrong with caring about someone, and in some ways, your past has led you to now. You don't have to repeat the same mistakes. Maybe you could really enjoy her and enjoy spending time with her. Just maintain yourself and your mental clarity. If she cares about you she'll put in further effort.

Keep growing man.

 

[Die Hard]

Taz and Zekko, your analyses are incorrect and I feel no need to discuss them. It should be clear to you from my OP and other posts that I was never looking for anyone to make such analyses throughout this thread. You decided to do so anyway and now you're frustrated that I won't respond to it. Sorry, not my problem...

Actually, the title and your OP post imply you did, but it's blatantly obvious you didn't like the responses and became defensive.

In other words, you're basically calling me a liar. Wow, you're even a bigger fucking moron than I thought... Thanks for showing it, it's good to know who's who on this board.

Speaking of lying... You get all defensive about not pressing me for details:

I never pressed you for details. In fact, not once did I ask you to elaborate on anything beyond a yes or no.

But at the same time, you make the following comments:

Do you intentionally leave out details that would make the situation a lot more clearer to the people responding to your posts?

All you ever said about this chick was that she sh-t tested you. Somehow that's supposed to paint a clear picture about her character, even though all women sh-t test men to varying degrees and under various circumstances. While providing no information about what these sh-t tests consisted of.

'Nuff said...

My job involves troubleshooting and I enjoy it. My replying to this thread was a form of problem solving.

You hit the nail on the head! I clearly explained that I wasn't looking for anyone to analyze her behavior and tell me how to handle things when she began displaying pathological behavior. In hindsight, you did this anyway, because it's a habit of yours. Like I said, that's your choice, I didn't ask you to do so and I'm not here to indulge your favorite habit of troubleshooting. So I just told you your analysis was wrong, without giving the details explaining why it was wrong. Hence, you couldn't continue your favorite habit of troubleshooting and clearly became frustrated with me because of this, telling me:

Do you intentionally leave out details that would make the situation a lot more clearer to the people responding to your posts?

you're "trolling" rather than looking for genuine feedback.

And still, you tell me:

If you want to omit details that would give more context to your posts I'm not going to try and force them out of you

LOL, you want me to believe that you accusing me of intentionally leaving out details and even accusing me of TROLLING, wasn't your way of trying to force the details out of me? Oh, and let's not forget to add the fact that you just basically accused me of lying.


Like I said in the beginning of this post, you're a big fucking moron. Take your bullsh!t somewhere else...

 

[Fred_Scuttle]

not sure that i follow your thinking here. we tried to help you because you asked us for help. we are trying to help you but you wont let us. you are being very secretive and you leave out lots of details on purpose like that other fellow said. we all can see that. just like you won't tell us why you didn't want her to come to your place or how old she is or why she started attacking you. seems to me that you think you have all the answers to your problem. we all try to help you and you tell all of us that we are all wrong and only you are right. if you have all the answers and if you are always right then why did you even bother asking for any help?

 

[Die Hard]

Question -- What is so bad about feeling warmth from someone? Some people want healthy relationships and are seeking mates that can potentially provide them with this. What you may be entering into could bring good things into your life.

At some point if you want an LTR playing her is not going to work as well and you're going to have to have some real foundation there. There are going to be problems and both of your emotional vulnerabilities and difficulties are going to be highlighted. There is going to need to be good communication and proper action and this is not easy.

What I am saying really is there's nothing wrong with caring about someone, and in some ways, your past has led you to now. You don't have to repeat the same mistakes. Maybe you could really enjoy her and enjoy spending time with her. Just maintain yourself and your mental clarity. If she cares about you she'll put in further effort.

Keep growing man.

Thanks. Nothing wrong with caring about someone, as long as it's the right person. Sometimes we think someone's right, because we WANT it to be so and we start caring too much too soon. I read your latest thread, I hope you'll be mindful of what I just said... Keep growing, indeed!

 

[Die Hard]

Funny... It's been 2 months and I've been spinning several plates in the meantime. At the moment, I'm spinning 2 plates and am being more succesful than I've ever been with women. I feel like I'm almost becoming a certified DJ...

And still...my mind keeps going back to this girl. Whatever all of you you guys thought about my story at the time, I know I was right about her. Ever since I found this place and started working on myself, no girl has been able to get under my skin, but this chick got incredibly deep under my skin and in my head, in literally a few days! And my mind still keeps going back to her, I have certain songs that, upon hearing, instantly take me back to her and our "time together" (only two fvcking meetings and several phone conversations, for christ's sake!). I'm telling ya, she was pure poison and I definitely dodged a big ass bullet...

I've dealt with many BPD's in the past but after all the progress I've made the last two years, I'm really surprised at the magic spell this girl put on me in a few days. Simply unbelievable...


Anyway, just wanted to write this down, so I can always read it back. Also, let this be a testament to the incredible powers some women can wield over men.