Hi,
Since as long as i can remember I always had a problem with social interaction with anyone. Although my parents said I use to talk all the time when I was a little child. I'm almost 19 and I have problems speaking with my family and friends.
I honestly don't know what's wrong with me and why I couldn't be normal like everyone else. However I have made some theories which could lead to be true since it's not so far fetched.
First I think I have some sort of disorder since I can't remember events and have a very poor image memory where I can't remember faces at all. This leads me to believe that i'm mentally slow since always when I was at high school i remember trying to write assignments in class and i was always behind everyone else. Eg. I could see everyone wrote about half a page and i'm still stuck on my first paragraph which is not of great quality structure, as you can probably tell by now with my writing style.
Okay I am now noticing a problem with my "friends". I hang around 6 or so guys who now i believe don't like me or at least don't like hanging out with me and frankly I have no idea why. I have caught them a few times talking **** behind my back when they wern't aware and I'm contemplating whether if I should confront them about this? Or would this damage my rep more and it will show myself as insecure?
My voice is deep... and I have an ugly big adams apple sticking out like a sore thumb. I can't sound enthusiastic cause I can't make higher pitch tones. I notice people sometimes have to ask me to repeat myself and i'm thinking it is due to my muffled voice which i don't know how to fix.
This is probably one of the reasons that i am quiet most of the time and getting frequently ignored by people i know.
Why am i not likeable? Howcome people have no interest in me? Howcome I can't provide interest toward other people and even if i tried, why can't I think of anything to say (this includes "friends" and not just females). Why the hell wasn't I given humour, intelligence and respect when I was born. It seems like everyone else has it and I feel left out because i'm finding it harder and harder when I try more.
I just wish I could for once have some interesting input to say and have people like me but it's too bloody hard when you just don't have anything interesting or worthwhile to say.
Since as long as i can remember I always had a problem with social interaction with anyone. Although my parents said I use to talk all the time when I was a little child. I'm almost 19 and I have problems speaking with my family and friends.
I honestly don't know what's wrong with me and why I couldn't be normal like everyone else. However I have made some theories which could lead to be true since it's not so far fetched.
First I think I have some sort of disorder since I can't remember events and have a very poor image memory where I can't remember faces at all. This leads me to believe that i'm mentally slow since always when I was at high school i remember trying to write assignments in class and i was always behind everyone else. Eg. I could see everyone wrote about half a page and i'm still stuck on my first paragraph which is not of great quality structure, as you can probably tell by now with my writing style.
Okay I am now noticing a problem with my "friends". I hang around 6 or so guys who now i believe don't like me or at least don't like hanging out with me and frankly I have no idea why. I have caught them a few times talking **** behind my back when they wern't aware and I'm contemplating whether if I should confront them about this? Or would this damage my rep more and it will show myself as insecure?
My voice is deep... and I have an ugly big adams apple sticking out like a sore thumb. I can't sound enthusiastic cause I can't make higher pitch tones. I notice people sometimes have to ask me to repeat myself and i'm thinking it is due to my muffled voice which i don't know how to fix.
This is probably one of the reasons that i am quiet most of the time and getting frequently ignored by people i know.
Why am i not likeable? Howcome people have no interest in me? Howcome I can't provide interest toward other people and even if i tried, why can't I think of anything to say (this includes "friends" and not just females). Why the hell wasn't I given humour, intelligence and respect when I was born. It seems like everyone else has it and I feel left out because i'm finding it harder and harder when I try more.
I just wish I could for once have some interesting input to say and have people like me but it's too bloody hard when you just don't have anything interesting or worthwhile to say.