help with shy women

pinoypower

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what's the best way to get to know a shy woman better?

we are both 22. We know each other from class in college.

I've never really delt with a woman this shy before.

I never really talked to her until close to the end of the semester. I talked to other women in class for most of the semester. One day I decided to sit next to her and start some light conversation here and there.

nearing the end of the finals, she called me (which is weird) cause i never gave my number to her. she said she got my number from one of the women that i know in class. she had some questions about the finals (haha, her excuse to talk to me).

because of this, i knew she was interested, so i asked her she she wanted to go out on a date. she said that she recently ended a really long relationship. and that she is not ready to date, actually she said that she has never dated before. she was quite excited to get to know me better and she immediately gave me her cell phone number without even me asking.

a week and a half after the semester I called her if she wanted to go out to lunch. LUNCH! she was very hesitant with her answer she actually said she isn't ready because she gets really really nervous around guys. then she told me that she went out with one guy before and she cried after the date because of how bad it went. She wanted to get to know me on the phone. I told her that i don't really like to get to know people on the phone. since phone conversations vs. real life are very very different. You just don't get that connection on the phone.

One thing about me is that i actually hate phones. there is no reason for using phones other that setting up plans/dates or emergency. which should not last more than 5 minuites. i wanted to tell her this but i didn't want to give a jerkish impression in the beginning so i did not.

she really wanted to talk to me on the phone so i tried to adjust but just couldn't hang with phone conversations. One of the things she told me was she was really surprised when i asked her out. She said that i was the only person who ever asked her out.

I said that I'll talk to her later and she asked me WHY???, i told her i don't know, i'll just talk to you later. she suggested talking through email if that was better (WTF?) i told her that i don't know what i will do and that i'll just talk to her later.

i really don't get this. what fun is there to talk on the phone??? and email?? uGHH! is this what technology has brought to people nowadays? it seems like people are becoming shyer and shyer both men and women.


what would jesus do? I'm thinkin of leaving her alone until she gets the courage to go out on a lunch date with me. LUNCH!! Which from what i am seeing she has many years until she gets the courage and confidence for LUNCH!!!
 

Chewy Bagel

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This girl isn't very interested bro.

She probably doesn't get asked out often and doesn't know how to turn a guy down. It's not easy to turn someone down who is romantically interested. It would be especially hard for a social gimp.

Ask yourself, would you want to be with a girl who is that painfully shy even if she were interested?
 

Grey Fox

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Shy girls are sometimes tricky. You can't really compliment them because their lack of confidence won't let them take a compliment. She will think you are being cunning or have other motives. Before you can even move forward you have to earn her trust, become her "friend." Give her plenty of advise, a shoulder to lean on, and someone to talk to. She will grow more dependent upon you, thats when you pull the rug out from under her feet. Back away, no longer accessible to her, politely critize her for being shy and unable to be social. Then after a little while come back wanting to "apologize" and be friendly with her again. Then say you want to take her out to dinner to make up for being a jerk. When you take her out that night, take her to a place that has a dance floor and do what any natural DJ would do and show her a good time.

But that takes a lot of work, time and has the chance to fail.

Considering that she has flaked already and time is usually to precious to waste I say move on for a more social girl. Shy people tend to be homebodies and never want to have fun.

-Grey Fox
 

chicksrock

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PINOYPOWER!
I have got a solution...and I think you should listen to my opinion..
In my town there are heaps of shy women!

ok i disaggree with the other person that she is flaking and not interested in you

SHE IS VERY MUCH INTERESTED IN YOU! why would she call you and stuff..
she's just naturally scared/nervous that you have swept her off her feet !

I think you need to talk to her on the fone or if you see her in class and just CONVINCE her to go on a date with you ...that everything will be fine ..and you are absolutely harmless ...
I think you should call her..
just be layed back and cool...

"Hi HB, whats up, how are you doing "
then do lots of small talk and all kinds of stuff
build HEAPS of rapport
<yes i think you have to do a LONGGGGGGGGGGG fone call if you want to bag this chick>

then slowly address the issue about the two of youz going out
be ****y and funny
say "don't i sound like a really cool, harmless and fun guy to hang out with ..? come on you got nothing to fear...plus there is no pressure on this date.... i really don't care ... i just want to spend time with you! no formalities!"
be enthusiastic, ****y and cool...and OVERLY FRIENDLY on the fone
make her feel safe being around you

be persistent..this chick sounds CUTE and totally into you...
i'm sure you're being TURNED ON buy her shyness!
i think shy girls ARE AWESOME!
they're not **** teasers ...all they really want is some action ...

go get her pinoypower..
its as easy as 123,
but offcourse she is a different type of chick you are used to
so obviously you will have to change some strategies
ie willing to talk on email / phone
and when you do make contact with her on email/phone
keep trying to convince her to meet you in person and that you are a harmless guy ..and there is no pressure on her on the date .. and you promise her a good time...otherwise she can kick your ass or something funny like that !

OK then
take care
and GOOD LUCK!
 

Channel your excited feelings into positive thoughts and behaviors. You will attract women by being enthusiastic, radiating energy, and becoming someone who is fun to be around.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Tai

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By your name am guessing you are asian (philipines) i think in your situation, the girl is very intrested. Alot of asian girls are very shy and LOVE and i mean LOVE to talk on the phone! they wont want to shutup and can stay on for 8 HOURS if you let them!

Talking on the phone long wont hurt your game if your dealing with a shy asian girl, it might even be good but dont stay on too long tho. All you gotta do now is be patient and cool while you mack other chicks waiting for this shy one to come around.
 

Chewy Bagel

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I did not understand you cultural norms when I made my post. Please disregard my opinion as I assumed she was the typical white American girl.

CB
 
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