Help!! What should I do?

Rapport101

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 8, 2018
Messages
57
Reaction score
17
Age
38
I've been dating this girl for about 8 months. Most things have been really good up until this point. Suddenly two weeks ago she seems disconnected. She doesn't seem to care the same way that she did before. There are long periods of time in between responses when I message her (there never used to be). She picks up my phone calls less frequently. On top of this, the other night when we were together, I texted her a funny meme, and her phone didn't ring or vibrate, meaning that she has me on mute (which she admitted to). We have been having sex way less frequently, last night was the first time I had sex with her in a week, and smashed the **** out of her; it was pretty good. But I feel bothered. I am feeling anxiety about what is going on. She tells me that she loves me.. She gets off work at 8:00, texted me around 9:15 telling me that she is eating dinner. I asked her if she wanted to meet up and smoke a dube, and she told me that yeah, she'd want to meet up around 10:30, after she took a bath . I sent her another text back asking if she'd want to meet up a bit earlier than that because I don't want to be up too late, and she texted me back saying "I'll text you soon". I said to her that we didn't have to meet up tonight. An hour passed (it's now close to 10:30), then I texted her again asking if she still wants to meet up yes or no. She didn't respond so I called her. Then there was no answer. Then she texted me back saying that she was doing laundry so wouldn't be able to meet up. I said no problem, and said to her that I am having a bit of anxiety and would just like to chat with her a bit on the phone. No response. I called again, call ignored. I feel like something is going on with her but I don't know what. Does it sound like she is losing interest?
 
Last edited:

way2smart

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 20, 2014
Messages
298
Reaction score
74
She has other options. And you are not her first option. Don't contact her until she reaches out first, when she does invite her for another date and smash her. Rinse and repeat.
 

Rapport101

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 8, 2018
Messages
57
Reaction score
17
Age
38
She has other options. And you are not her first option. Don't contact her until she reaches out first, when she does invite her for another date and smash her. Rinse and repeat.
Other options?? We've been in a committed relationship. Something does feel really off here. Does this sound like she's cheating on me?
 
Last edited:

Rapport101

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 8, 2018
Messages
57
Reaction score
17
Age
38
Also, I'm not really sure if I could have her on the side, too many emotions there. Not going to say anything to her until I get more feedback and advice from the DJs here. Maybe I should just move straight into posting in no contact?
 
Last edited:

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,433
Reaction score
6,932
Very common technique a woman uses when;

1. She wants to dump u and hopes u get the hint.

2. She's subconsciously testing u 2 see if u will act like a wuss when she bullies you.

3. She is cheating but wishes 2 have you as a back up plan just in case she fails to hook the new guy.

It's likely No. 3....

So she's doing No. 2 on you right now.

And soon it will get to No. 1

Prepare an action plan that doesn't revolve around her.

The plan revolves around u.

The plan title; How 2 be a motherphucking great man !
 

Rapport101

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 8, 2018
Messages
57
Reaction score
17
Age
38
Very common technique a woman uses when;

1. She wants to dump u and hopes u get the hint.

2. She's subconsciously testing u 2 see if u will act like a wuss when she bullies you.

3. She is cheating but wishes 2 have you as a back up plan just in case she fails to hook the new guy.

It's likely No. 3....

So she's doing No. 2 on you right now.

And soon it will get to No. 1

Prepare an action plan that doesn't revolve around her.

The plan revolves around u.

The plan title; How 2 be a motherphucking great man !
Yesterday, I left my computer open and she went through all my messages on facebook and was jealously asking me about any girls I speak to. It was all just polite conversation, but why would she bother if she just wanted to break up?
 
Last edited:

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,433
Reaction score
6,932
When a person cheats it is common to feel conflicted and guilty especially when their partner is a nice and good person.

Sometimes in order to rationalise their bad behaviour they have to paint the other as the bad person thus justifying their cheating ways.

This is very common, I'm sure u know this as well but u r too conflicted to think coherently right now.

Leave ur computer or handset right now. Go out and find a friend to spend some time. If u don't hv a friend that's okay too, go to a park or a beach and just enjoy the natural surroundings.

Focus on the plan : How to be a motherphucking great man !
 

Rapport101

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 8, 2018
Messages
57
Reaction score
17
Age
38
When a person cheats it is common to feel conflicted and guilty especially when their partner is a nice and good person.

Sometimes in order to rationalise their bad behaviour they have to paint the other as the bad person thus justifying their cheating ways.

This is very common, I'm sure u know this as well but u r too conflicted to think coherently right now.

Leave ur computer or handset right now. Go out and find a friend to spend some time. If u don't hv a friend that's okay too, go to a park or a beach and just enjoy the natural surroundings.

Focus on the plan : How to be a motherphucking great man !
Thanks, I have to go to bed and work tomorrow. I'm filled with dread right now, and I hate it. This is the fifth time she's done this to me in the past couple of weeks. She told me that she was just getting out of the bath an hour after she had messaged me that she was getting in. Then she messaged me over an hour after "getting out" to tell me that she was just getting dressed and would call me in 4 min. She never called. I tried calling her and it went to answering machine again. Is she deliberately trying to mess with me? Like who takes three hours from getting into the bath to getting dressed? It makes no sense..
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,433
Reaction score
6,932
Dismiss her from ur thoughts 4 tonight.

Life is good and will get better brother.

Now go to sleep.

There r other battles to fight tomorrow and it's best to fight it fresh and clear headed.
 

Rapport101

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 8, 2018
Messages
57
Reaction score
17
Age
38
Dismiss her from ur thoughts 4 tonight.

Life is good and will get better brother.

Now go to sleep.

There r other battles to fight tomorrow and it's best to fight it fresh and clear headed.
Ok, will not make any hasty moves this evening. But I really feel like doing some impulsive **** right now lol
 

Murk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4,406
Reaction score
3,350
Age
35
Location
London
Somethings up, she’s not feeling you, fvck the reason why. Get tinder and bumble and start talking to women. Keep her around for the smash, if you can’t do that go NC.
 

MountainSlide

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2014
Messages
613
Reaction score
357
I've been dating this girl for about 8 months. Most things have been really good up until this point. Suddenly two weeks ago she seems disconnected. She doesn't seem to care the same way that she did before. There are long periods of time in between responses when I message her (there never used to be). She picks up my phone calls less frequently. On top of this, the other night when we were together, I texted her a funny meme, and her phone didn't ring or vibrate, meaning that she has me on mute (which she admitted to). We have been having sex way less frequently, last night was the first time I had sex with her in a week, and smashed the **** out of her; it was pretty good. But I feel bothered. I am feeling anxiety about what is going on. She tells me that she loves me.. She gets off work at 8:00, texted me around 9:15 telling me that she is eating dinner. I asked her if she wanted to meet up and smoke a dube, and she told me that yeah, she'd want to meet up around 10:30, after she took a bath . I sent her another text back asking if she'd want to meet up a bit earlier than that because I don't want to be up too late, and she texted me back saying "I'll text you soon". I said to her that we didn't have to meet up tonight. An hour passed (it's now close to 10:30), then I texted her again asking if she still wants to meet up yes or no. She didn't respond so I called her. Then there was no answer. Then she texted me back saying that she was doing laundry so wouldn't be able to meet up. I said no problem, and said to her that I am having a bit of anxiety and would just like to chat with her a bit on the phone. No response. I called again, call ignored. I feel like something is going on with her but I don't know what. Does it sound like she is losing interest?
You already know the answer to the question, “does it sound like she’s losing interest”? Now the question is, is it something you’ve done or something she has done. the only reason I say that is because if you’re exhibiting anti-attractive behaviours towards your girl, which it sounds like you are, then you have to take responsibility. It sounds like your spinning down the road of oneitus in a big hurry. You sound overly needy which is like a repellant for women. Here’s what you do. Quit putting any effort into contacting her, don’t always answer her calls or return her texts right away. Let her suffer for a bit wondering what’s going on. Sure this can be difficult when you have oneitus lol. But you’re coming across as a low value beta. If you can’t handle what you’re going through emotionally, that’s a sign that it’s time to cut ties and go no contact.
 

btownbuck2012

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2008
Messages
1,465
Reaction score
1,552
Age
35
Location
Los Angeles
Other options is basically just another way of saying she has access to social media, dating apps and on tap validation from guys 24/7. Its a defect of the 2018 American woman. There's most likely nothing wrong with OP other than he's trying to figure out why someone, his gf in this case, is unable to remain faithful in an environment where it is impossible for her to do so.
 

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,707
Reaction score
8,660
Age
47
Other options?? We've been in a committed relationship. Something does feel really off here. Does this sound like she's cheating on me?
Please. There is no such thing as a "committed relationship" at 8 months in these days.

Someone else has her attention or she is getting bored with you.....or both.

I would NOT reach out until you hear from her FIRST. More than likely she will send you some generic text to see if you respond after going quiet on her for a day or two.

The only thing she should get is a "Yeah"..."Nah" or some other one word generic response back. She will then (more than likely) say that you are either acting different, acting strange or acting as if something is wrong.

At that point you simply say "I think things have gotten weird between us and I think I need some space and time to figure out what I need to do. I will text you later this week".

Thats it. Then go ghost on her. She will either crack and come back strong (if there is not another man that seriously has her attention and or fvcking her) or it will fizzle out with no hard feelings.

This is hard to do but its what you SHOULD do.
 

pyros

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 31, 2011
Messages
1,693
Reaction score
200
OP, it is obvious that she's either fvcking some other dude who is her priority. This... or she's just not into you and tries to fake it. Or...she has terminal cancer and is not in the mood.

Anyway, chances are she's into someone else. Forget about her so you will be relieved.
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

dude99

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
2,561
Reaction score
3,117
Age
52
Yesterday, I left my computer open and she went through all my messages on facebook and was jealously asking me about any girls I speak to. It was all just polite conversation, but why would she bother if she just wanted to break up?
When girls cheat, they get jealous and accuse you of the very thing they are doing. Ive seen this more often than numbers can count.

She is getting attention from another dude. 100% guarenteed. She has stuck you on the back burner and she is getting ready to branch swing but isnt sure just yet.

But its coming dude.

Tell her things are getting too busy for you and you need some space. Then withdraw all attention you were giving her. All of it. No social media. No texting. No phone calls. Nohing. Go do your thing.

She will come around and make an effort to contact you if she gives a schit.
 

dude99

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
2,561
Reaction score
3,117
Age
52
Yes
Other options?? We've been in a committed relationship. Something does feel really off here. Does this sound like she's cheating on me?
.

Yes. Another dog is in your yard. A change in her behavior is a 100 % guarentee someone else has her attention.

Committed relationship means nothing when "feelings" are involved.
 

derby1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2017
Messages
3,300
Reaction score
3,441
ABORT MISSION OP ABORT MISSION....your logic will tell you otherwise as you try and "figure it out"

ABORT MISSION
 

Rapport101

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 8, 2018
Messages
57
Reaction score
17
Age
38
So I dumped her and her Facebook status immediately updated to in a relationship with another guy. I had her removed already off of social media, but my sister called me to tell me about it. What a piece of work
 

fanatic22

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 7, 2018
Messages
420
Reaction score
332
So I dumped her and her Facebook status immediately updated to in a relationship with another guy. I had her removed already off of social media, but my sister called me to tell me about it. What a piece of work
Dam, sorry bro but good on you for breaking up with her. Your gut was right. Now, find someone worth your time.
 

If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Top