Help, my gf is starting to bring up marriage

[CornbreadFed]

I am also visiting several Middle Eastern countries late summer and Middle Eastern women are my huge weakness.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The problem I have with these type of clips is that the people who are 'discussing' do not know how to argument their side.

Woman: "Why don't you want to get married?"
Man: "I don't want to divorce."

That's not it. As a man, what are your benefits to getting married?

I used to be married, we were together for sixteen years. She grew unhappy with motherhood and wanted to work. As a writer and artist, I preferred to stay at home and look after the kids. She grew more and more dissatisfied and her divorced/single girlfriends pushed her towards initiating divorce.
In NL, before you get divorced with kids, you have to write a 'co-parenting contract' that establishes who the kids will live with and how the parenting is divided. If you cannot agree, you have to go before court and have the judge decide. She wanted a quick divorce (she's not the most patient person) and I put in my terms and conditions that she had to agree to or she would have a lengthy and expensive divorce that she would mostly have to pay for (being the 'bread winner').

Since I was the 'stay-at-home' dad, the kids are registered to my name and address as primary caregiver and although we co-parent, I'm better off than she is. She has to pay me alimony and child support, she lives outside the city where the children live with me, and she can only see them on the weekends (while I have fun with my lovers).

So, for me, raising a family, marriage was beneficial. As a married father, you automatically receive the same rights as the mother. If you're not married, like my brothers, your partner can just walk away with the kids and demand child support but deny you visiting rights.
In some cases, marriage can be to your benefit, but that depends on the laws of your country regarding matrimony and divorce.

 

[Gamisch]

@Gamisch I do not want to go back and forth on the subject, but I was a strong believer in the red pill and I lost faith in it after dealing with women on an emotional level and disagreement of the trajectory of the ideology.

Oke . I'll respect that. I'm in a good mood.

I am also visiting several Middle Eastern countries late summer and Middle Eastern women are my huge weakness.

Ironically we do have this 100% in common

 

[Murk]

I'm still holding out for that PYT, I'm starting to get greys in my beard too, but still, my eyes remain on the prize. I've had to let many a good woman go over the years, don't succumb to peer pressure or anyone else's frame, do you.

 

[CornbreadFed]

So its been 3 months already, tell us @CornbreadFed did you cave in for the ultimatum? Did you propose already?

No, but I’m still with her lol.

 

[Aspire]

I want to continue the relationship, but I think marriage is a financial scam for both men and women. I refuse to waste 10k plus on a dumb event and let the government enter my bedroom. Not only that, but I am not sure if we both want kids and I find it completely more pointless if so.

Well you need to ask her if she wants kids and if she is willing to continue without marriage. Ball is in your court and you need to be willing to part ways if there is truly a conflict of interest. Had to do that with someone who after 2 dates inquired if marriage was what I was seeking, and this person was only a plan b for me anyway. And yes I sympathize with you on the idea of spend 5 figures on a wedding and the government recognizing your relationship.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I want to continue the relationship, but I think marriage is a financial scam for both men and women. I refuse to waste 10k plus on a dumb event and let the government enter my bedroom. Not only that, but I am not sure if we both want kids and I find it completely more pointless if so.

Depends what your life goals are. If you are not looking for someone to partner with and build a life with then obviously don’t marry her. If you value her whole contribution to your life, personally, emotionally, logically, sexually, professionally, lock it down. Totally depends what you’re trying to do. If you have kids with her, marriage won’t matter on that front.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I want to continue the relationship, but I think marriage is a financial scam for both men and women. I refuse to waste 10k plus on a dumb event and let the government enter my bedroom. Not only that, but I am not sure if we both want kids and I find it completely more pointless if so.

What's there to "help" with? You want different things than she does and there isn't anything wrong with that.

You are simply incompatible with her in terms of life goals, and basically going any further with her is pretty much pointless. The end of the movie is set in stone, it's just how long is the long slow decline going to take for you to get to it, is the question. That's the only unknown at this point.

I'm not sure why guys think something like this is fixable. It isn't. Everyone has life goals they want to achieve and pretty much a person who has the opposite life goals from them is not a good fit. All I can say is perhaps you should have screened better at the beginning and if you already did then you should have known this day was coming.

There is no helping you in this situation. You are going to need to find someone compatible with your mindset, she isn't it. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but this is simply reality.

OP, there comes a point in time in every relationship where if you are not going to marry her and she knows you won't, you simply become a time waster she needs to get rid of. Looks like you are getting really close to this stage.