HELP me from ruining a good thing please

[BigSmooth]

Honestly, just go and get her.

Although there was one questionable thing she did which was:

1. She told you how amazing she felt after less than 24 hours of y'all meeting. It's fine for girls to FEEL this way, but most "normal" girls wouldn't straight up tell the guy that.



However, obviously you differentiated yourself from all the other guys she has met or is in her life at the moment. You stood out for some reason and it seems like she connected very well with you on more than just a physical aspect.

You say this girl is the first girl in years you've felt something like this towards. I know the feeling. I've felt it before. Every Don Juan has felt it before, back when they were AFCs. It's this amazingly strong urge to just BE with that person all the time and not even for sex. You just feel complete and and whole when you are with that person and nothing in the damn world matters.

The problem with the AFCs feeling this is because usually it's a one-sided relationship. The AFCs love/lust after a girl, but the girl doesn't feel the same way.


HERE, it is different. SHE actually feels the same way back.

So fella, 1+1 = 2. STOP OVER-ANALYZING. Follow your manly human desires and just go get the girl who could possibly be the person you marry. I sound like a fvcking sap right now but it's true. Don't waste this opportunity with a girl that just might be the one.


If she isn't the one, or she isn't like how you thought she would be...that is perfectly fine. Move on to the next one. Don't stay with her because you are trying to continue to convince yourself that she is who you think she is.


Stop worrying about how you might mess it up. Just go with the flow. Stop thinking so much, and start being. Start being in the moment of what is happening in your life.


And for this renowned line that impacted my life when I heard it...here it is.

Rejection is better than regret.

In your case, the possibility of y'alls relationship failing in the future is still much better than not trying to pursue this girl because of all your analyzing and thinking. You will only end up regretting it in the future and since you made this strong emotional attachment to her it will torture you and at eat you from the inside out until you can't even fall asleep and you fall into a deep hole where you always feel like you're in standstill while everyone else around you is moving on in life.


Honestly, this girl sounds like she has potential. Not many girls do anymore. I am in college and in a fraternity so I meet tons of girls on a weekly basis. However, I rarely ever get that deep emotional bond and connection with any of them. It's all physical and superficial. I have met only several girls so far in college who has given me the feelings that this girl gives to you.

She makes you happy. You make her happy. Life is about finding what makes you genuinely happy.


So if I were you....

FVCKING GO GET IT ON. :yes:




From Bruce Lee:
"Not being tense but ready. Not thinking but not dreaming. Not being set but flexible. Liberation from the uneasy sense of confinement. It is being wholly and quietly alive, aware and alert, ready for whatever may come."

 

[floydb25]

I'd be cautious. Those who come on fast tend to disappear just as quickly. Committment phobes are reknown for this - and making you feel super special. Players also come on strong and dont give you any time to think. They also know how the game works; how to elevate interest, keep them guessing, making them infatuated, and getting them to chase.

You need to chill out. Seriously. Dont have your head up in the clouds because she's gorgeous and shows interest. A good way to **** it up is by going AFC - even if she comes on strong. That doesnt mean you should, as well.

Always think with your head, trust your gut, and PAY ATTENTION. You are not the first person to be infatuated with her. If she's gorgeous - you can bet your ass she knows this. Dont assume you are a special cookie, and watch for gaming techniques. Dont assume she is an innocent good girl that must be worshipped and treated with delicacy because you have a crush.

It doesnt matter who it is or what they do (as far as coming on strong) - you keep the game where its supposed to be, watch for red flags, and all of that good stuff. Wearing your heart on a sleeve and rushing in at full speed is a bad, bad idea.

You dont even know this girl, so dont go assuming, believing, giving, and TRUSTING so easily. You also want to make sure she meets your standards and etc etc. Dont assume she is different or better, or worry about losing her. Thats usually when you do - by acting like a desperate, needy dumbass. Hellz nah... Youre a person of value.

This is all to protect yourself, of course. But do what you will.

 

[For_F]

I'm just trying to be as natural as possible - working with the vibes she's giving off while doing my best to contain my extreme emotions. I say extreme because if I message her for example and she doesn't reply asap, my mind will start going down of the path of anger, rejection and confusion. One minute she's sending me pictures of herself and telling me she cant wait until I get back home so she can hold me and giggle lol and then later in the day no contact. It sounds bad of me and it is but because she brought all these feelings out in me on the first night, Im having trouble coming back to reality.

I tried to ring her this morning, no answer so I left a funny voice message and told her to ring me back. That way I can get some clarity in my head as I've made it clear that I want to talk to her. Also mentioned that I'll be back home tomorrow night so I guess if she's keen then she'll find that great.

If she does have some disorder then I understand her dropping off but if she's semi-normal I find no way to believe she's not keen and thinking about me alot when she told me she hasnt felt so amazed and happy in years and that I make her feel 15again.

One thing I did not mention I think is that a day ago she told me she needs to slow herself down because she doesn't want to get hurt and that Im too good to be true. Don't know if that was her own self inspiring those thoughts or a friend of hers telling her that its probably too good to be true and that Im a jerk or player.

 

[For_F]

Lol I just realized that she is pretty much being a DJ. Feeding me attention and attraction then distance making me wonder and crave her. If and once she does ring I'll either be over it or highly keen. Being a male and her being sexy as hell, the LI stuff doesn't impact her as much since she knows men left right and centre want to tap that.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I'm betting on BPD. The pictures are a dead-giveaway.

Does she have a baby-ish, extremely feminine voice?

 

[For_F]

I'm betting on BPD. The pictures are a dead-giveaway.

Does she have a baby-ish, extremely feminine voice?

Pretty strong womanly voice not baby-ish I don't think. I've dated a few girls with baby voices - all clingy demanding pyschopaths.

I feel like uploading one of the pics she sent me but that's not cool and don't know what purpose that serves. Maybe one of you could spot BPD lol.

 

[For_F]

I deleted her number, cant handle my obsession with her. As I said, rang her this morning and left amessage. If she's keen she'll get back to me if she isn't - ciao.

 

[Sandow]

Bro, you are being way too emotional. She has you wrapped around her finger and she knows it. She's starting to lose attraction for you cause you're acting like every other guy.

To me, she sounds like branch swinger. Acts solely on her emotions. Loves the rush; once that's over she's over you and finds the next guy.

Also, I hate to take a blow to your ego...but do you honestly think you are the first and only guy she has said this to you. I hope not.

Fact is, she has said this to other guys before. I know, it made you feel all special and warm inside. But that was her goal. No one says that to someone they just met 24 hours ago.

If you have been spinning your plates, you wouldn't have this obsession with her. You have a major case of one-itis and that spells failure. Go out and meet some other girls, and stop basing everything on looks. Sure looks are nice, but they will fade in due time.

 

[Sandow]

I deleted her number, cant handle my obsession with her. As I said, rang her this morning and left amessage. If she's keen she'll get back to me if she isn't - ciao.

WHY DID YOU LEAVE A MESSAGE??? I CAN SMELL YOUR NEEDINESS AND DESPERATION THROUGH THIS COMPUTER!!!

 

[NewAndImproved]

You're flip-flopping more than... [your least favorite politician]

Sounds like you're being sucked into her unstable frame.

Relax and commit to what you say you're going to do!

 

[flashpoint]

I deleted her number, cant handle my obsession with her. As I said, rang her this morning and left amessage. If she's keen she'll get back to me if she isn't - ciao.

sure she is the BPD one?

 

[yuppaz]

^^^what he said... Jesus are you seriously acting like that or are you a troll?

 

[For_F]

^^^what he said... Jesus are you seriously acting like that or are you a troll?

Lol it's genuine im not hiding anything here just being as open as possible so y'all can helpme help myself. This isn't a habit and I accept I have totally lost control of myself with this girl. That's why I deleted her number because in all likeness I would have tried to ring her again tomorrow night.

For previous posts - I am spinning plates. Bringing one hb6 over on Friday night, hb7 on Sat night and have a major milf waiting for me to organise a night in. All other three are extremely interested but I have another two who I went on dates with last fortnight one hb8 and the other one is attractive aswell. I don't go deleting their nunbers and go all unstable. Like I said - this girl made me feel something I haven't felt since my ex ex ex gf, when we met for the first time but still this girl and that night with her I'll remember for a long time. Don't give a fvck if that sounds afc im just being honest with you guys. I didn't harp on about how special the night was to her but I say it here.

Deleting her number was the best option I think? Gives me time to settle the fvck down.

 

[flashpoint]

this girl made me feel something I haven't felt since my ex ex ex gf, when we met for the first time but still this girl and that night with her I'll remember for a long time. Don't give a fvck if that sounds afc im just being honest with you guys.

sounds being human to me. that would be a hard and cruel world if you had to act all rough and tough to get some love. that is one side of it. the other is - and that i dont really understand - SHE FOCKING LIKES YOU. so far any indication she has given goes in that direction, wtf are you so desperate and anxious? oh no ... that cant be happening ... she must be a creature of the darkness, a lifesuckin vampire ... and surely all twisted in her mind. because she likes you and shows it? how focked up is that? dont you deserve it? arent you the price? you will have a hard time running game if you cant learn to win.

i mean of course there is a chance that this will all turn to dust and your hopes will be shattered. there always is. right now the chances that this could turn into something real are much higher though. i'd suggest to focus on them. or is that what scares you?

 

[perseverance]

You're problem is the case of a severe lack of patience. You have met this woman, she has given you the feel good factor and now you want to get the ball rolling as soon as possible. She made you feel and behave like a small child on Christmas Eve and whilst that's great to hear, your behaviour could well sabotage things (if it hasn't already).

Just live your life as per usual and if she gets back to you she gets back to you, if not just keep moving along. Just remember time waits for no one, so don't waste your time on people who aren't worth your time and based on one meeting, it's far too early to be investing as much as you are into things.

 

[For_F]

sounds being human to me. that would be a hard and cruel world if you had to act all rough and tough to get some love. that is one side of it. the other is - and that i dont really understand - SHE FOCKING LIKES YOU. so far any indication she has given goes in that direction, wtf are you so desperate and anxious? oh no ... that cant be happening ... she must be a creature of the darkness, a lifesuckin vampire ... and surely all twisted in her mind. because she likes you and shows it? how focked up is that? dont you deserve it? arent you the price? you will have a hard time running game if you cant learn to win.

i mean of course there is a chance that this will all turn to dust and your hopes will be shattered. there always is. right now the chances that this could turn into something real are much higher though. i'd suggest to focus on them. or is that what scares you?

I feel like almost every time I've committed to someone it ends badly. Although I have only been dumped once in my several serious relationship doesn't mean I wasnt badly affected by the breakups of atleast two of the breakups with me being the dumper.

Im on SS to change my approach and yeah I guess since I connected the way I did with the girl I got freaked out getting messages from my brain saying don't involve yourself. Most times where you fall for someone so quickly - it typically does not end well and look at how disastrous I've been behavior after she didn't contact me for one day. Could be for a number of reasons but I only think like a tragic. I guess my ex gf made me so extreme because we fell for each other way too fast and moved way too quickly. If she didn't happen no way would I be so attached and jumpy with this new girl because even with my ex I was the one who slowed sh1t down constantly.

But I wouldn't be on SS if it wasnt for my ex as well so...

 

[For_F]

You're problem is the case of a severe lack of patience. You have met this woman, she has given you the feel good factor and now you want to get the ball rolling as soon as possible. She made you feel and behave like a small child on Christmas Eve and whilst that's great to hear, your behaviour could well sabotage things (if it hasn't already).

Just live your life as per usual and if she gets back to you she gets back to you, if not just keep moving along. Just remember time waits for no one, so don't waste your time on people who aren't worth your time and based on one meeting, it's far too early to be investing as much as you are into things.

Agreed. Lol cant believe what as spazz I've been with her. I cant contact her and be desperate now since I deleted her number so I will continue with life. All lessons to be learnt bro.

 

[perseverance]

Agreed. Lol cant believe what as spazz I've been with her. I cant contact her and be desperate now since I deleted her number so I will continue with life. All lessons to be learnt bro.

Absolutely, we've all been in your shoes, it happens. As long as you realise your mistakes and learn from those mistakes, you'll be in much better stead in the future and that's what life is all about; learning!

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Dude... duuuuuuuuude!

Seriously, what the heck is your problem?? Do you see the stuff you're typing on here? You sound DESPERATE and NEEDY, which only means those things are also going to be things she reads off from u as well.

I'm not trying to sound too harsh cause I've been where you have, but LEARN TO GET SOME PERSPECTIVE.

Real talk, you're only out of town for FOUR DAYS. It ain't like you met her then moved out the country or something - its FOUR DAYS. I had a girl I dated that went on a trip to Taiwan for 3 weeks right after we started dating. I sent her a grand total of 2 emails during the entire 3 weeks she was gone, and she sent me 5 emails AND tried to call me.

The point is, if she likes you, she's NOT going to forget about you and lose interest in 4 days. However, she WILL stop liking you if you keep texting her like a biznich and crying when she doesn't contact you back right away!

GIVE HER THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU. Let HER be the one wondering why you're not calling her, or fantasize about what things you're getting into when she's not around. You are actually doing herself AND yourself a DISSERVICE by trying to be in her face all the time, so BACK IT UP on the phone messaging/calling. You should only be using it to set up dates anyway!!

 

[floydb25]

I actually dated someone like you before. Sounds like YOU are the one with a fear of committment / rejection, cant handle your emotions or get too close out of fear of being hurt, needing constant reassurance, possibly asusming no one can really like you, always anticipating the worst, rejecting others before they can you, etc. Youre taking this WAY too seriously, but theres usually a reason for that (ie, bad experiences, low self esteem). You'd rather get rid of her completely than not have to think about, or feel anything for her. Thats when youre leading down dangerous, unhealthy territory.

You gotta just chill, and not be so afraid. At the same time, dont become infatuated and rush in heart first. You fell too fast and hard, yes. Dont do that. Dont invest so much of yourself too soon. Being infatuated and having that rush of emotions isnt reality. Nor is it something you should seek out. Its just another normal person. Nothing special. No reason to go all ape****, because its not a big deal. At all. No one is. You shouldnt even be having these thoughts and worries this soon. Might want to look into any issues you have (ie, co-dependancy, low self esteem, neediness, etc), because theres no reason for any of that. You had her way up on a pedestal, made her your entire life, and thought only about her after ONE ENCOUNTER. Bad news. Maybe youre lonely and desperate; needing to have someone to love. Cause you went in at lightning speed. Falling head over heels from the first attractive woman who gives you attention or shows some interest is a sign of insecurity in itself. But immediately bailing out because you cant control your intense emotions (much less having them) is a whole 'nother level.

These are all assumptions on my part. Disregard if its all crap.