Maybe when it comes to genuine relationships with girls I rate very highly, yes I have self-doubts and lack basic trust levels leading me to act irrationally. Generally though, I have quite high levels of self esteem e.g. I will approach almost any girl and have a great short conversation and get her number and work through dates fine. But when it comes to girls I have genuine feelings for which isn't all too common, I get paranoid, reluctant and irrational.floydb25 said:I actually dated someone like you before. Sounds like YOU are the one with a fear of committment / rejection, cant handle your emotions or get too close out of fear of being hurt, needing constant reassurance, possibly asusming no one can really like you, always anticipating the worst, rejecting others before they can you, etc. Youre taking this WAY too seriously, but theres usually a reason for that (ie, bad experiences, low self esteem). You'd rather get rid of her completely than not have to think about, or feel anything for her. Thats when youre leading down dangerous, unhealthy territory.
You gotta just chill, and not be so afraid. At the same time, dont become infatuated and rush in heart first. You fell too fast and hard, yes. Dont do that. Dont invest so much of yourself too soon. Being infatuated and having that rush of emotions isnt reality. Nor is it something you should seek out. Its just another normal person. Nothing special. No reason to go all ape****, because its not a big deal. At all. No one is. You shouldnt even be having these thoughts and worries this soon. Might want to look into any issues you have (ie, co-dependancy, low self esteem, neediness, etc), because theres no reason for any of that. You had her way up on a pedestal, made her your entire life, and thought only about her after ONE ENCOUNTER. Bad news. Maybe youre lonely and desperate; needing to have someone to love. Cause you went in at lightning speed. Falling head over heels from the first attractive woman who gives you attention or shows some interest is a sign of insecurity in itself. But immediately bailing out because you cant control your intense emotions (much less having them) is a whole 'nother level.
These are all assumptions on my part. Disregard if its all crap.
I was brought up very traditional and have traditional values intrenched in my behavior. I remember being a young teenager and guys would be treating girls badly i.e. cheating, abusing etc and I would find that extremely wrong. Over time I became more immune to that sh1t mainly because I realised women are worse then men in many respects but when I meet girls who I assume are not slvts, my conservative side truly shines.
I completely agree that I am taking this girl and my situation overboard because I really don't know anything about her and that's what is bothering me so much. Why am I in this situation? Main response here is 'you're not spinning plates' which I am.
Anyway, I deleted her number if anything I feel huge relief in doing that as I couldn't handle it being in my contacts list lol SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME I KNOW.