Help me decipher this ******** email

Oxide

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I read the original post, and i believe this is true:

She wants to get more envolved with you, but she is waiting for you to establish where YOU want to stand in your relationship.
She says she is ready for whatever, IF you decide you want to go there.

I take it as a green light, go for it.
 

legolas

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Originally posted by Ronin I
Me neither - except that I myself am curious as to what prompted the turnaround.
Well if you want theory, there can be hundreds. But I believe that every woman is unique. So each woman has her own reasons for the turnaround, (needing a guy, not very good prospects, close to you) or (needing a guy, crappy prospects, you decent guy,then add lots of time to make up her mind :D)

As a matter of fact, you may never know what EXACTLY turned her around. But in the end it doesn't matter. If you believe that every woman is unique, then there are tqo things you can derive from that.

I'm assuming here that the reason why you want to know what prompted the turnaround, is so that you can use that stuff in the suture.

1. Not everything that works with one will work with any other one.

2. All you really have to do, is play the game as you would normally play it, for the ones that really interest you, and it is going to act as a screening process for the ones that are just there to waste your time and money.

Don't listen to guys who next for stupid reasons. These guys either have absoultey no idea what it is to deal with a woman, or are in it just for the lay. If you've talked to this girl for so long,
 

Ronin I

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(needing a guy, crappy prospects, you decent guy,then add lots of time to make up her mind )


seems like the right read on the situation...

Don't listen to guys who next for stupid reasons. These guys either have absoultey no idea what it is to deal with a woman, or are in it just for the lay. If you've talked to this girl for so long,

finish your thought?
 

legolas

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Originally posted by Ronin I
(needing a guy, crappy prospects, you decent guy, then add lots of time to make up her mind )


seems like the right read on the situation...

Don't listen to guys who next for stupid reasons. These guys either have absoultey no idea what it is to deal with a woman, or are in it just for the lay. If you've talked to this girl for so long,

finish your thought?
Oh sh1t didn't even see that one :D

So if you've talked to this girl for so long, it's obvious that you like her and you've already done the qualifying part. After the date, it also seems like she wants to hook up with you as well, which means that she has qualified you as well and you fit her standards.

So there can be dozens of reasons, why she chose to turn around and dozens of reasons why she waited so long. As long as you didn't waste your ppprrrrecioussssss (reminds me of LOTR)time trying to hook up with her, that is if you spend your time wisely, and she wasn't on your thoughts 24 hrs a day, AND you like her, then it's all clear. Land now!! :)

Looks to me like you are looking for a LTR. If so, then just do it!!

How's that for a long sentence....

Oh and uh, excuse my long pause, I must have fallen asleep... :eek:
 

Ronin I

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Well gents - made plans to hang out with her tonight and she cancelled at the last minute.
It's like 8 months ago all over again.
I suppose she just came out of the woodwork to use me to feed her fragile ego because she's got nothing else going right now.
Actually the reasons don't matter - what matters is that I have no tolerance for any kind of flakiness anymore.
Whatever, chalk it up as another learning experience.
 

Ronin I

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Originally posted by myfriendblu
LOL, exactly my point. :D If your not either
1. Screwing,
2. A date ot two away from screwing

You shouldn't be even talking to her. NO IMing, NO occasional phone call. NOTHING. Its not all difficult to understand.

Over and done with if you ask me :D . problem is, you still like her. its pretty obvious. Shoot, reading IL in guys liking girls is 10 times easier than reading girls IL in guys, and Im good at that :cool:
Blu, I apologize for going off on you before.
Seems you were right after all.
 

legolas

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It's not even falkiness anymore. Seems like she wants to play games to get you to fall for her. Well, this is when I can fully say NEXT!!! and I don't usually next either.
 

Ronin I

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Originally posted by legolas
It's not even falkiness anymore. Seems like she wants to play games to get you to fall for her. Well, this is when I can fully say NEXT!!! and I don't usually next either.
Yup, it sucks dude. Why is it that we pursue that which we cannot have?

I honestly and fully give up on the whole endeavor.
 

legolas

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Originally posted by Ronin I
Yup, it sucks dude. Why is it that we pursue that which we cannot have?
That's simple. It's because of the value that we attach to these things. Most of us like the thrill of the challenge. Things that are hard to get, are immediately perceived as "worth it" and things that are easy to get are perceived as "already got it, what's next"
 

DJ Jr.

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It's so ****ing black and white y'all are reading way too much into this.

The chick wants you to make the move on her...shes telling you indirectly that she wants you to **** the **** out of her...it doesnt ever get any more direct (from chicks) than this email she sent you.

If your into her then go with it...**** what everyone here thinks/advises you've gotten this far on your own don't look for others to **** it up for you now by telling you to do something different than you've been doing all along!

Dont be afraid of diving in because you feel she might be trying to "play" you...its not a game there is no winner nor loser...winning and losing are merley perceptions...making the best of what ya got is reality.

Ya got it, go for it dude.


Edit: Just finished reading the replies...you gotta strike while the irons hot dude. You take others advice and play the disinterest role when she drops you an email telling you she wants to **** you and of course shes gonna flake because you insulted the **** out of her by not calling her up and telling her to get her ass over to your place.

You had a green light but you were too busy talking to the players in the car next to you to mash the gas before the light turned red!

Next time just go dude...go go go!
 

myfriendblu

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Originally posted by Ronin I
Blu, I apologize for going off on you before.
Seems you were right after all.
\LOL, no apology needed. been there, done that in a nearly identical situation, so i can totally understand your point. :)
 

Ronin I

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I know I might get flamed for overanalyzing as well as not NEXTING at this point but in the name of learning and discussion of the odd creature that is woman I will post some developments in the situation.

After she cancelled on Thursday I went about my business - she calls yesterday and leaves a message and wonders where I've been and if I'm angry with her. I then send her the following email.

"I got your message and yes I have had a busy weekend - to be honest I was a little pissed about Thursay. I find your flakiness to be annoying to say the least. It's one thing if you just couldn't make it - but to say you're coming and then cancel at the last minute (for the umpteenth time) is bullsh!t. It is for that reason that I won't bother making plans with you - you are relegated (and this should be obvious to you by now) to the occasional invite to something that I would be doing anyway. This way your flakiness has little to no effect on my plans either way.

Ronin I"

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Today I received this response:

"that's fine. why don't you take a break from me altogether. it sounds like that's what you need in order to relax and stop calling me "flaky."

Actually I'm glad that you just changed the mood around here."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While I admit that the tone of my email was less than nice, notice how she takes NO responsibility for her actions.

Is there anyone that thinks I'm wrong to be pissed off???
 

JustDoItAlways

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Well, this chick turns out to be a lot more flaky than it originally sounded like.

Your question about do you have a right to be pissed off?

Yes of course and you do not have look any farther than to her latest message to you.

Whenever a chick says "are you angry with me", "are you mad at me", "I wouldn't blame you if you're mad at me" what she really means is:

"I've been such a b1tch, you should really be mad at me. In fact, you should b1tch me out right now and put me in my place."

That is exactly what you did and she will clearly have a lot more respect for you now.

I don't think this is over yet but she is certainly a flake-extraordinaire. Its probably not worth losing any sleep over or putting any more effort into. But don't be surprised if she offers to make it up to you in a week or two. Be calm if she does and tell her EXACTLY what she has to do to make it up to you.
 

Krassus

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Well done bro, at least you tried. Definitely next her now - at this point it's just a waste of time. If it were me, i'd do one thing differently though - the email. I would have never told a woman that she made me pissed - no woman should have such power! I'd make it short and basically tell her that i have no interest in people who are that unreliable.
 

Blaaaaat

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Originally posted by Ronin I
I know I might get flamed for overanalyzing as well as not NEXTING at this point but in the name of learning and discussion of the odd creature that is woman I will post some developments in the situation.

After she cancelled on Thursday I went about my business - she calls yesterday and leaves a message and wonders where I've been and if I'm angry with her. I then send her the following email.

"I got your message and yes I have had a busy weekend - to be honest I was a little pissed about Thursay. I find your flakiness to be annoying to say the least. It's one thing if you just couldn't make it - but to say you're coming and then cancel at the last minute (for the umpteenth time) is bullsh!t. It is for that reason that I won't bother making plans with you - you are relegated (and this should be obvious to you by now) to the occasional invite to something that I would be doing anyway. This way your flakiness has little to no effect on my plans either way.

Ronin I"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today I received this response:

"that's fine. why don't you take a break from me altogether. it sounds like that's what you need in order to relax and stop calling me "flaky."

Actually I'm glad that you just changed the mood around here."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While I admit that the tone of my email was less than nice, notice how she takes NO responsibility for her actions.

Is there anyone that thinks I'm wrong to be pissed off???
First, i found this thread realy intersting. When read the email from the first post, I thought there was no doubt she had a realy high IL in you.

Then she flakes at the last minute... I realy don't get woman.

But still my 2 cent on the email.
You've placed her in dsefence mode. Society learns that woman are NEVER wrong in "relationships", the only woman that are doing wrong in relationships are sluts/*****es. So maybe you activated a ASD.

Still I think you did the right thing by telling her not to play her games anymore.

Woman are fvcking strange...
 

bp1974

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I hate getting emails like that. Something I've noticed is that women really really don't like being called flaky. It's one of those words that they seem to hate a lot more than we do, and puts them straight into b*tch mode.

I agree that telling her you were pissed off only showed her that she had an effect on you. You might have had a better effect by blowing it off as no big deal and then ignoring her, rather than telling her she was 'relegated'. If I got an email like you sent, I'd be tempted to reply with a big fat "Well F*ck You then", like she did.
 

legolas

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Originally posted by Krassus
Well done bro, at least you tried. Definitely next her now - at this point it's just a waste of time. If it were me, i'd do one thing differently though - the email. I would have never told a woman that she made me pissed - no woman should have such power! I'd make it short and basically tell her that i have no interest in people who are that unreliable.
Wow!! I have to say this is the most important insight I've gotten in a while. Because most of the time, us guys simply say what's on our mind, and as so we forget that we unconsciously give away such conttrol to the woman. Now I'm pretty sure that consciously she never realizes the power you've given her, I wouldn't either. But unconsciously it registers and is saved in the mind when another situation comes up, and then is used, probably without awareness as well, to her benefit. And as well-trained dogs, we fall for it again!!

Krassus, thanks a lot for the insight.
 

sql

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it never ceases to amuse me how women can change their op on short notice. this girl by all means is a flake, and im sorry to understand that you seemd to have invested some genuine interest in her only to find out this ugly side. imho, shes been playing games from the start, although shes flaky enough not to have played them on purpose, but still i have to agree with krassus, the fact that you vented anger at her may not have been the best thing to do - you broke a sweat i suppose and no woman's ever worth a misty brow. id suggest you completely cut her, fire her, and blacklist her - not go out of your way to avoid her but ingore her existance. and no matter what she says or what you do, dont fall for any of her lies or deceit. its a trick.

2 cents
 

Ronin I

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OK - guys I just wanted to respond to what some of you have said about me even sending the email - to some extent I agree and to some I don't.

I do agree that letting a woman know that she has made you angry does give her a certain degree of power over you - but I think the context is important - I mean if you never tell a woman that her behavior is unacceptable then ultimately she will think you are a spineless wimp who is not able to stand up to her or put her in her place when she is out of line.
Now I know the next argument is, well a DJ can do that without showing anger - and I somewhat agree - but here's my counter to that argument -

when I was a child and I would do something that I wasn't supposed to, my mother would yell at me - generally, me being the little pain in the ass that I was, that wasn't enough to get me to stop doing what I was doing. Most of the time my mother would have to walk up and give me a good smack in the head before I realized that I had better cut it out.
My point is, that sometimes an expression of anger, emotion(note: I am not advocating beating up women) is necessary to get your point across and to correct undesired behavior.

The more and more I learn about women the more and more I realize how childish they can be (petty, selfish, large mood swings, argumentative, etc) - so sometimes they need a metaphorical "wack in the head".

The other reason that I will sometimes show my anger to a woman is that if I don't, I feel as if I have somehow betrayed myself. I am the type of person where if I don't like somebody or somebody pisses me off, I tell them. I have always been this way and I have gotten in my fair share of fights in my time because of this. But even if somebody winds up disliking me or wanting to kick my ass, they will generally at least respect me for not being afraid to voice my opinion.

Anyway, I realized that I am this way with EVERYONE that I come in contact with EXCEPT a woman who I am trying to bed. For some reason, I will make excuses for these women and let them slide on a whole lot of sh!t that if any other person did, I would be all over them. I decided that I needed to stop that and remain true to myself regardless of who I'm dealing with.

Hope that makes sense.
 

iqqi

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Originally posted by Zephyrus
Your an Idiot... I'm sure your a real winner with the ladies... you stoopit f*ck....
so relax... i'm only picking on you because your stupid. It seems to me like your the type of guy that gets punched in the face alot....blah blah blah

**Zephyrus Rapes Ronin**
hahhaahahhahahahah! this is the FUNNIEST **** i have ever read!!!! zeph, i want you to come comment on EVERY SINGLE ONE of my posts! you are sooo hiLARious.... :D
 
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