Turki
Don Juan
I would've thought having friends is more about having interests outside a girl rather than being insecure or the need to be a socialite...
Help, i go crazy when im without her! :(
- Thread starter Enigmatron
- Start date
todd.ian
New Member
I always used to get obsessed over girls like this guy, and it's f***ing hard to get over it. And u gotta be careful it doesn't turn into depression when they dump u, cuz they almost always do in that case. There's an article here about the link between depression and breakups: http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=36188
Anyways, what I found works best is if u just get out there, and find urself a gf that u might not like as much as her, but who u can respect, then stay with her for a while. Don't set ur standards too high, ur goal isn't becoming a dj overnight its just recovering ur self esteem. Then, when she gets obsessed over u the way u got obsessed over the last girl, maybe you'll start to feel like your life isn't so bad.
You might not have the same experience as me, but the idea is to just drill it into your brain that people like you.
Also, as for what your feeling about her you might feel better if I pick that apart for you. Basically, humans are animals, just like any other, except that we've evolved a bigger brain. The number one goal of any animal is to pass on its genes.
This means that there are three things that are important to you:
1) Not dying
2) Passing on your genes ie getting laid or having the potential to do so
3) Helping your family with 1) Not dying
If your brain, which is an important part of this survival machine that is you, detects that you aren't fulfilling these goals, it gets unhappy. Really fu**ing unhappy.
Evolutionary psychology predicts that after a while, not being able to get a date should be about as stressful as getting daily death threats, or living in a war zone, or losing a parent or sibling.
Keeping this in mind your first step should be to try and keep your current girl, but if u can do that find another one fast. Any one will do, don't be picky.
As you pick up the pieces you'll start realising what a ****ty part of your life this one has been, and how much better your life can get. Hell, you'll eventually be a DJ and be mackin all the girls, but one thing at a time.
Good luck
Anyways, what I found works best is if u just get out there, and find urself a gf that u might not like as much as her, but who u can respect, then stay with her for a while. Don't set ur standards too high, ur goal isn't becoming a dj overnight its just recovering ur self esteem. Then, when she gets obsessed over u the way u got obsessed over the last girl, maybe you'll start to feel like your life isn't so bad.
You might not have the same experience as me, but the idea is to just drill it into your brain that people like you.
Also, as for what your feeling about her you might feel better if I pick that apart for you. Basically, humans are animals, just like any other, except that we've evolved a bigger brain. The number one goal of any animal is to pass on its genes.
This means that there are three things that are important to you:
1) Not dying
2) Passing on your genes ie getting laid or having the potential to do so
3) Helping your family with 1) Not dying
If your brain, which is an important part of this survival machine that is you, detects that you aren't fulfilling these goals, it gets unhappy. Really fu**ing unhappy.
Evolutionary psychology predicts that after a while, not being able to get a date should be about as stressful as getting daily death threats, or living in a war zone, or losing a parent or sibling.
Keeping this in mind your first step should be to try and keep your current girl, but if u can do that find another one fast. Any one will do, don't be picky.
As you pick up the pieces you'll start realising what a ****ty part of your life this one has been, and how much better your life can get. Hell, you'll eventually be a DJ and be mackin all the girls, but one thing at a time.
Good luck
brenbaus
Senior Don Juan
he does not need to dump her, just get an outside life so she does not get bored of him, even if they dont end up getting married, which is probably the case, he can use her to learn how to respond to women and be a better man
Hey man,
one poster said go ahead and do whatever you wanna do, I'll just aid "be prepared to face the results".
I'm not convinced you'll fail, it's likely though.
I have a friend who's 26, and keeps giving his girl presents, giving compliments all the time, seeing her 24/7 etc. and guess what? They are together for 8 months now. I've given them a few weeks when they started the relationship.
I'm not advocating this kind of behaviour but if you don't know what to do it's better to do what feels right than to do nothing at all (which is probably the biggest afc mistake).
one poster said go ahead and do whatever you wanna do, I'll just aid "be prepared to face the results".
I'm not convinced you'll fail, it's likely though.
I have a friend who's 26, and keeps giving his girl presents, giving compliments all the time, seeing her 24/7 etc. and guess what? They are together for 8 months now. I've given them a few weeks when they started the relationship.
I'm not advocating this kind of behaviour but if you don't know what to do it's better to do what feels right than to do nothing at all (which is probably the biggest afc mistake).
Enigmatron
Don Juan
thanks guys i really appreciate all your help, support and advice
yeah im in control now and im learning the don ways
she said she might phone me last night before she went away on holiday, as expected she did not phone.
so i did not phone her as she expected this i guess
i just sent a text saying "have a good holiday hun i'll c u next week" and i left it at that
im now focused and in the zone and i dont feel sick for her, im letting myself do that as its not right, especially to me and to put her up on a pedastal like that
im the special and important talented guitarist one her and she should be honoured to be with me
im also loving this don stuff it really is informative and a big eye opener into women
i was out today and i was doing the eye contact and smiling, and i got some women to look interested
also ive got back in touch with my buddy john
so im changing things round and also getting back to being me instead of my life being totallly devoted to her
yeah im in control now and im learning the don ways
she said she might phone me last night before she went away on holiday, as expected she did not phone.
so i did not phone her as she expected this i guess
i just sent a text saying "have a good holiday hun i'll c u next week" and i left it at that
im now focused and in the zone and i dont feel sick for her, im letting myself do that as its not right, especially to me and to put her up on a pedastal like that
im the special and important talented guitarist one her and she should be honoured to be with me
im also loving this don stuff it really is informative and a big eye opener into women
i was out today and i was doing the eye contact and smiling, and i got some women to look interested
also ive got back in touch with my buddy john
so im changing things round and also getting back to being me instead of my life being totallly devoted to her
Channel your excited feelings into positive thoughts and behaviors. You will attract women by being enthusiastic, radiating energy, and becoming someone who is fun to be around.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
true
Everything these guys have said is absolutely true. I cant tell you how god damn true it is..it happened to me about a month ago.. I sounded just like you 2-3 months ago..I mean exaclty, even the changing behaviors and all the obsseion, then I would read an article and be okay for a while then become insecure all over again bcuz i used her as a cruch for my life.
Go and get a life, go make friends.
When she broke up with me it hurt like a b*tch, man it sucked, cried alot.. but I know down the line its gonna make me a stronger man.
Right now Im going through a "me" phase.. bascially just enjoying everyday and not concerning myself with girls, just having fun and living everyday..started workin out, hanging out with friends and soon maybe start partying. Girls are too painful..i dont feel like dealing with the game right now..kinda exhausted.
My biggest priority is to make new guy friends. To have ppl that i can do stuff with.
YOU WILL BREAK UP...guaranteeed... BUT its a great chance to learn from.. And if you keep the fact that you will break up in the back of your mind...it takes the pressure off you, if you think she is the best thing in the world then its going to be much harder to get rid of her when it happens.
Everything these guys have said is absolutely true. I cant tell you how god damn true it is..it happened to me about a month ago.. I sounded just like you 2-3 months ago..I mean exaclty, even the changing behaviors and all the obsseion, then I would read an article and be okay for a while then become insecure all over again bcuz i used her as a cruch for my life.
Go and get a life, go make friends.
When she broke up with me it hurt like a b*tch, man it sucked, cried alot.. but I know down the line its gonna make me a stronger man.
Right now Im going through a "me" phase.. bascially just enjoying everyday and not concerning myself with girls, just having fun and living everyday..started workin out, hanging out with friends and soon maybe start partying. Girls are too painful..i dont feel like dealing with the game right now..kinda exhausted.
My biggest priority is to make new guy friends. To have ppl that i can do stuff with.
YOU WILL BREAK UP...guaranteeed... BUT its a great chance to learn from.. And if you keep the fact that you will break up in the back of your mind...it takes the pressure off you, if you think she is the best thing in the world then its going to be much harder to get rid of her when it happens.
Enigmatron
Don Juan
Hi KK2004 yeah i relate to your post man
im now contacting some old buddies and getting in touch
and im having some me time why she is on holiday, and im having a good time
she is not the begining and end of my life and i will not let her take over my mind and thinking that she is the only thing i exist for
yeah i am mentally prepared for the break up, it is unavoidable it will happen, when i dont know
im a very intelligent and psychological, philospoher kind of guy
i sample, i adapt and i overcome. and one minute something can mean the world to me and the next it means nothing, and i have many states of mind, and i can have no guilt or remorse
its all a state of mind and controlling the mind and emotions
im a don in progress lets get reading
im now contacting some old buddies and getting in touch
and im having some me time why she is on holiday, and im having a good time
she is not the begining and end of my life and i will not let her take over my mind and thinking that she is the only thing i exist for
yeah i am mentally prepared for the break up, it is unavoidable it will happen, when i dont know
im a very intelligent and psychological, philospoher kind of guy
i sample, i adapt and i overcome. and one minute something can mean the world to me and the next it means nothing, and i have many states of mind, and i can have no guilt or remorse
its all a state of mind and controlling the mind and emotions
im a don in progress
lets get readingLittledude
Don Juan
Self-control my friend
That's all you need. You're letting your mind take over and is making you it's little b*tch. You need more self-control. Just take a look at any guy who's great with women. If you ever notice, he doesn't laugh his hardest when he hears a joke, he may barely crack a smile. Does it look cool at all if you were to laugh hysterically at everything she says?? No way, you'd look like a total push over.
He also doesn't give into passion and feelings of neediness. He keeps it under control. You can't let yourself get excited or needy, have control over your mind and prevent it from engulfing itself in passion. You'll soon see that the woman will start to want u more because now the tides have turned and you're the boss.
If you don't control this now, you never will. I've tried it and it works tremendously.
That's all you need. You're letting your mind take over and is making you it's little b*tch. You need more self-control. Just take a look at any guy who's great with women. If you ever notice, he doesn't laugh his hardest when he hears a joke, he may barely crack a smile. Does it look cool at all if you were to laugh hysterically at everything she says?? No way, you'd look like a total push over.
He also doesn't give into passion and feelings of neediness. He keeps it under control. You can't let yourself get excited or needy, have control over your mind and prevent it from engulfing itself in passion. You'll soon see that the woman will start to want u more because now the tides have turned and you're the boss.
If you don't control this now, you never will. I've tried it and it works tremendously.