Help!!! Girl I met just wants to be friends! What can I do?

[Guitar_Whizz]

Hey guys. I met a girl online a few months ago, and we e-mailed each other, exchanged pics and chatted briefly on the phone. We had a lot in common, so we decided to meet up a few weeks ago.

We met up in a town about halfway between where we both live. She brought 2 friends with her. Basically the day went great, we went for lunch/coffee, shopping, and bowling and ended up getting on really well. Hugged her and her friends when we left.

So I e-mailed her and thanked her for a fun day, she replied saying she enjoyed it too, etc etc.

Next e-mail, I ask if she'd like to see me again. But her reply shocked me. Here's what she said:-

****I would wanna see you again cos i thought we did get on well n we got loadz on common,but i dont think anything could happen i think cos i think ud b a pretty close m8 (i think we're quite close anyway cos again with the loadz in common etc soz babbling ) anyway i think we got a gud friendship goin on i wudnt wanna wreck that for anything, i do think ur a really sweet guy and i did like givin u those hugs tho
Im sorry if that made it awkward or if i rambled or anything, im glad u werent horrified by me tho,my personality does come off as weird alot of the time .......excellent****

Ok guys, so does this mean she just wants to be friends, and what can I do to change this situation?? How should I respond to this e-mail?? Should I see her again, and how should I act in order to get her to see me as a potential lover and not just a friend?

I'm very angry as I thought I acted like a true DJ when I saw her.

 

[Phoenix_of_the_ashes]

I think youre not going to get any ***** from her if your wondering that. And anyway man, you dont want a girl with a writing style like that, thats just a sign of stupidity.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Originally posted by Phoenix_of_the_ashes
I think youre not going to get any ***** from her if your wondering that. And anyway man, you dont want a girl with a writing style like that, thats just a sign of stupidity.

Look, I'm entitled to wonder what she thinks of me after a reply like that. I need someone to give me a decent answer as to how I can turn this situation round. I'm F*ckin angry cos I did everything DJ on the meetup, and yet it backfired. I thought these DJ tactics were supposed to work.

 

[Phoenix_of_the_ashes]

Stop looking at the DJ stuff as just "tactics", if you think of them like that your fighting an uphill battle. And nobody ever said that using that knowledge will get you 100% of the women you want. Just accept that it didnt work with this one, if you value her friendship then be content with that because you probably arent going to get anything else.

 

[prosemont]

Originally posted by Guitar_Whizz
Look, I'm entitled to wonder what she thinks of me after a reply like that. I need someone to give me a decent answer as to how I can turn this situation round. I'm F*ckin angry cos I did everything DJ on the meetup, and yet it backfired. I thought these DJ tactics were supposed to work.

Hey bro, she told you EXACTLY what she thinks of you and she means what she says: that she is not interested in you romantically/sexually. Just be glad that she's up front about it and isn't leading you on with you spinning your wheels in vain. Now you can move on and go find a woman who is interested in you romantically/sexually.

Get over it.

You can do every trick/tactic/technique and a person may not be attracted to you. Get over it.

Think about it: if some chick who you would NEVER be attracted to for WHATEVER REASON ... maybe she's just not your type, maybe you thought she was boring, maybe you didn't like the shirt she wore, maybe a MILLION different things or most probably, SOMETHING YOU CAN'T QUITE PUT YOUR FINGER ON ... BUT YOU'RE NOT ATTRACTED TO HER ...

She could do all the "DJ" techniques she wanted to and you STILL wouldn't be attracted to her. Same thing here.

Move on bro. You're wasting valuable time and energy fretting about this. What you should be doing is putting out a hundred feelers out there for chicks ... make approaches, do your best, close as many deals as you can to increase your chances of finding a woman who is right for YOU and one who thinks YOU are right for HER.

Charlie Mike ... continue the mission.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Yeh I guess you guys are right, to a point. But I'm human and feel pain.

I'll go out and approach 10 girls this afternoon.

Do you think it's possible to turn a friendship into a romance though, if your game is good enough?

 

[prosemont]

Originally posted by Guitar_Whizz
Yeh I guess you guys are right, to a point. But I'm human and feel pain.

I'll go out and approach 10 girls this afternoon.

Do you think it's possible to turn a friendship into a romance though, if your game is good enough?

It is possible, but unlikely. In order to do it, you need to shift her paradigm. In other words, you need to completely change the ways she views you intrinsically.

It's so much work, however, that while you're trying to do that, you could be having your cup runneth over with other puzzy.

 

[Phoenix_of_the_ashes]

Originally posted by Guitar_Whizz
Yeh I guess you guys are right, to a point. But I'm human and feel pain.

I'll go out and approach 10 girls this afternoon.

Do you think it's possible to turn a friendship into a romance though, if your game is good enough?

Its possible, but I dont believe that the payoff is worth the effort, generally speaking.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

So basically, if I start acting cold and distant, ignore her, let her chase me, then that's what you mean?

I do understand that it'd be better to find more girls though.

Thanks for the good advice.

 

[Golden Arms]

You've been here since April 2002 and you're asking that ?

Who cares about her ? Move on to the next chick.

 

[biker_gixxer]

take it as a learning experience bro. think back to what you could have said or done differently. maybe you slipped into WUSS mode without realzing it. Maybe instead of being a challenge, being mysterious and having fun and not caring what she thought, you started acting like all the other retards she's ever encountered.


Or, you can have some fun and practice some C&F on her, that's always fun!! Who knows, maybe she'll think twice about throwing you into the 'friends' pile.

 

[Ladiesssman]

It's not fun to turn friendship to romance. Unless it's both mutual, it requires way too much work. It's a lot easier to hook up with her new friends. You can go after one friend at a time. Just be friend to her.

After you become friend w/ anyone, don't you get sick of them? I mean, don't you just lose that romantic feeling???

It's just me. I can't find friends to be romantically with. But there's exception. If she's hot and I know she likes me, that might be the exception.

 

[SamePendo]

"Be her friend" big deal.. You do have other women to hang out with don't you? You should.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

For God sake, spin more plates brother.

If you aren't her boyfriend you're her girlfriend. You have enough friends. Don't waste your time playing 'friend' with this one. You're not shallow or superficial for nexting her, you are a Simp if buy the LJBF condition.

I agree, at least she was on the table about her interest in you, so i can't fault her there. The LJBF was just a formailty.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by Guitar_Whizz
Hey guys. I met a girl online a few months ago, and we e-mailed each other, exchanged pics and chatted briefly on the phone. We had a lot in common, so we decided to meet up a few weeks ago.

We met up in a town about halfway between where we both live. She brought 2 friends with her. Basically the day went great, we went for lunch/coffee, shopping, and bowling and ended up getting on really well. Hugged her and her friends when we left.

So I e-mailed her and thanked her for a fun day, she replied saying she enjoyed it too, etc etc.

Next e-mail, I ask if she'd like to see me again. But her reply shocked me. Here's what she said:-

****I would wanna see you again cos i thought we did get on well n we got loadz on common,but i dont think anything could happen i think cos i think ud b a pretty close m8 (i think we're quite close anyway cos again with the loadz in common etc soz babbling ) anyway i think we got a gud friendship goin on i wudnt wanna wreck that for anything, i do think ur a really sweet guy and i did like givin u those hugs tho
Im sorry if that made it awkward or if i rambled or anything, im glad u werent horrified by me tho,my personality does come off as weird alot of the time .......excellent****

Ok guys, so does this mean she just wants to be friends, and what can I do to change this situation?? How should I respond to this e-mail?? Should I see her again, and how should I act in order to get her to see me as a potential lover and not just a friend?

I'm very angry as I thought I acted like a true DJ when I saw her.

I.e. "I don't want to f*ck you."

 

[DeathDealer]

She put you in the friends zone, doesn't think you're relationship material. Even though you got rejected, there's nothing wrong with that man.

 

[Life-Trainee]

See if you can get to other girls through her. Invite her to a club and use her as social proof to pick up other chicks.

 

[Fenderules]

open your freaken eyes. that cant be more clear then it is. just back off, maby she thought online **** is awkward. I'd never meet anybody i met online. To me its kinda AFCish, it says "i have no life and the only i can meet is on the interent cause im to depressed to go and have fun"

 

[Interpol]

Originally posted by Guitar_Whizz

Do you think it's possible to turn a friendship into a romance though, if your game is good enough?

No offense, but if your game was good enough you wouldn't be in friendship mode right now.

 

[Kaine]

You've been here for how long?

Are you sure you didn't read the bible upside down?

Just looking at your response post date makes me wince::


"I e-mailed her and thanked her for a fun day"

"Next e-mail, I ask if she'd like to see me again."


Thank you come again

Kaine