Help!!! Girl I met just wants to be friends! What can I do?

[Eggchen]

This forum has turned to ****.

 

[Phoenix_of_the_ashes]

Originally posted by Eggchen
This forum has turned to ****.

Chinese black magic!!!!

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Ok, thanks for all your replies.

I'm struggling to think where I went wrong though. It seems to me that there is an EXTREMELY fine line between being too laid back and being too forward with a girl, and if you get it wrong, you're doomed.

I really need to go back to basics here, as I'm still finding it hard to determine exactly what I did wrong.

 

[Interpol]

Originally posted by Guitar_Whizz

I'm struggling to think where I went wrong though. It seems to me that there is an EXTREMELY fine line between being too laid back and being too forward with a girl, and if you get it wrong, you're doomed.

I really need to go back to basics here, as I'm still finding it hard to determine exactly what I did wrong.

Well, there's an EXTREMELY fat line between being too laid back and being too desperate. You don't e-mail the girl 2 hours after the date. You don't let her bring 2 friends along on a date. I agree you have to go back to basics, because this is pretty basic stuff that you screwed up.

 

[calvran]

Honestly, you need to forget about this girl, you aren't going to get anywhere with her. Emailing back and forth online isn't going to help your cause at all, to begin with. Some of that **** you pulled was pretty ***** too, "OH THANK YOU FOR HANGING OUT WITH ME IT WAS FUN", that's her line bro, not yours. And then asking if she would want to hang out with you again? What's that communicate to her?

It isn't communicating the fact that you are a confident, self-assured MAN, that's for sure. Right now, anything you do with her is just gonna dig you in deeper to the friend zone, because A. She sees you as just a friend right now, and that 99% likely isn't gonna just shift, and B. you're gonna act like a desperate loser around her because of it. If you really care that much, best thing to do is just drop her for a month or two, then start over with her, and even then you aren't guaranteed success.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Yeah, f*ck man, how the hell are you going to generate any sort of spark when the two friends have come along. Surely you were awkward in that situation.

I realise that this is an online thing, so caution is necessary, but if you absolutely had to go, you should have brought two guys along as well, at least maybe you'd stand a chance with one of the girls.

This online sh*t sounds like a waste of time unless your are getting hookers.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Isn't anyone going to question why it would take a DJ months to meet a woman face to face??? Isn't this just a bit strange to any of you?

 

[blue17]

I think you are taking the 'game' too seriously. It seems like you are trying to use gimmicky tactics to win her over instead of having a natural sense of how to present yourself. You don't 'act' DJ...you just do it.

 

[UltraMan]

Originally posted by Guitar_Whizz
Yeh I guess you guys are right, to a point. But I'm human and feel pain.

Just remember, unless she hit you over the head with a hammer, all of the pain you are feeling is coming from inside your own brain. From your point of view you were on your way to a life filled with fun days and nights with your new love. From her point of view she got to know you, decided she only liked you as a friend, and tried to let you down easy. Next time don't build up a "relationship" in your mind where one does not exist yet. That way if you do get put into the LJBF zone it won't matter as much.

Once you realize SHE didn't do anything to you it might make it easier to move on.

 

[B9]

"Next e-mail, I ask if she'd like to see me again."

you don't ask. You tell her and wait for her to come along or not.

ASSERTIVENESS!