Have you guys ever spied on your girlfriends?

[thewarrior]

I'm spying on my girlfriend. It's immoral, but this is a girl that I'd want to marry. This is the ultimate test whether she's dedicated to me or not. I know you're supposed to "trust" someone. But honesty is something that's hard to come by these days. And I know women can love a guy but "slip up" and suck on some c*ck.

She's away 3 months in California. We shared a lot of personal details when we were together, and it turns out she uses the same password for everything.. I have access to all her email accounts, I can view her cell phone call log daily, and her phone has GPS which I can see where she's at with two dozen yards on Google maps. I also installed an invisible key logger on her laptop before she left, so whenever she's online, I get screen shots, websites visited, key strokes typed every 15 minutes.

I know most of you will disagree with what I'm doing but I'm only using this information to validate what she tells me when she talks. And so far everything she's said has matched up with the information I have.

I was with a girl whom I loved dearly that cheated on me in my bed in my apartment. And I was none the wiser.

If my current GF goes through this whole summer away and nothing is suspicious, then this girl is for me. But I refuse to be played for a fool again.

Have any of you guys kept electronic eyes on your girlfriends/wives? If they were being unfaithful, how did you catch them?

Oh, I also use a caller ID spoof. So if I see a number on her call log over a certain number of minutes and more than once, I would call that number spoofing her caller ID, or call her spoofing the other number's ID. I look to see if they answer like they know each other very well.

 

[thewarrior]

BTW, she has been faithful for two weeks so far. 10 weeks remaining. She always tell me what she did that day, or who she talked to and it matches up.

 

[Brighty]

Okay, I'll admit there was one time where I was suspicious with a previous girlfriend and I checked her text messages.. but this... this is just creepy man. Yes I can totally understand how you may be paranoid when you've gotten screwed over in the past, but answer these questions honestly:

Are you romantic with her? Are you a good fvck? Do you give her great orgasms? Do you make her feel beautiful, sexy, and loved? Are you a good judge of character for the girls you get into relationships with?

If yes to all of these, then you don't need to spy, she won't cheat on you. And the girl who's text messages I checked? I was 17 at the time, I told myself it would just be this once because I was suspicious. Nothing was suspicious, she wasn't doing anything behind my back. But I kept doing it every time I felt suspicious ("One more time won't hurt") and I kept on getting slightly more paranoid each time nothing turned up. Eventually it started showing through in other aspects of our relationship and eventually I found something questionable on her text messages, I called her out on it, she flipped out, and the trust was lost and she eventually ended up hanging out with another guy behind my back. Nothing ever happened but that was enough for me to break up with her. In retrospect, it was a bad relationship and I've never made that mistake again in my other relationships.

Sometimes you get curious, but if you can honestly answer yes to those questions above, then you do not ever have to worry about her cheating on you or doing anything fishy.

 

[thewarrior]

Are you romantic with her?
I took her to nice restaurants. We cooked together. I told her she's beautiful and I made an effort to comment on what she wore or how she smells. We spent a weekend at the beach...

Are you a good fvck?
I thought she wasn't going to see me again after our first night, but I've gotten much better...especially the last 3 weeks we were together. I'm about 155lbs and she's 160lbs (just big thighs). She likes riding on top which tires me the **** out, so I may not have been pleasuring her the best in that aspect. She also likes doggy, but her thighs and butt is so big that my penis only goes in like 2-inches (and my member is 6 3/4). I get no pleasure from that whatsoever.

Do you give her great orgasms?
She screams a lot and says "oh god oh god oh god". She wraps her thighs around me or sometimes push me away slightly. After we're done, she lays there for like 10 minutes not really moving. I think our best moment is when I ate her out for 45 minutes and gave her multiple O's.

Do you make her feel beautiful, sexy, and loved?
I think so. I sent her flowers last week just to say I'm proud of her hard work and I know she'll do great on the MCATs. She's been saying lately she feels fat, but I always come back and say "you're beautiful".

Are you a good judge of character for the girls you get into relationships with?
I think that I am. A month into our relationship, I asked about her sexual past (might've been a mistake) and she told me her freshman/sophomore year she had several **** buddies and partied every week. The guys she went for was bad boys. I'm not a nice guy, but I have a career and I don't talk dumb. I'm more straight-laced. She swore that she's over that era in her life and she's very happy with me. We also talk everyday for at least an hour, sometimes 3 hours on video chat or phone. But she seemed to enjoy sex a lot the first two years of college but I guess that's expected from 90% of girls.

 

[#1Svedwyn]

Wow man this is really cool thread. I think this is sounding like a lot of fun but HEY! I am me.

Only that you have to know she is gonna mess on you eventually and especially when she is ovulating. HEY! If you are not accept that she will cheat one day man you dont know about the things. I cant wait to see what happens but 3 months away isnt a lot and when she is together for you in a long time then she has cheat on her mind eventually but...HEY! Its just life

 

[JCballin88]

I can understand wanting to have a general idea of what your g/f is up to, but you're taking it too far.

Do you even have any time for yourself in-between checking up on her in 5-6 different ways? Do you realize that the more time and energy you spend trying to keep tabs on her, the worse you life is going to get? Not only will you inevitably see a red flag and become over-paranoid, it'll bring you into a lose-lose situation. You either a) call her out on it, in which case she'll almost definitely dump you for being such a creep, or b) you lose all the opportunity to become a better, well-rounded man by placing all your chips into this basket.

When something does come up, you'll want to have some options available to keep your mind off the matter. Don't get so wrapped up in this chick's life that you forget about your own.

Life is short man. Girls will come and go - just read a few topics and you will see guys devastated from LTR's where they were sure she was "the one." Don't let this one chick get to your head so much that you miss the big picture.

 

[tihash]

Are you romantic with her? Are you a good fvck? Do you give her great orgasms? Do you make her feel beautiful, sexy, and loved? Are you a good judge of character for the girls you get into relationships with?

If yes to all of these, then you don't need to spy, she won't cheat on you.

C'mon. Girls cheat all the time. Even if you are good in the sack. And the OP's girl is out of state for 3 straight months. Remember every girl's excuse: "it just happened."

To the OP: many people will disagree, but I think you are being wise so long as you don't get obessed. If she makes it 3 months, trust the girl and stop the spying.

 

[Bluntmaster]

Yep. I hacked into 2 of their emails when things got shady. One wasn't too bad but the other girl was banging other dudes and lying about it.

They both know I did it. One of them hated me for it and never talked to me again. But the girl I busted didn't care and still came back before I called her a b!tch and a ho and kicked her out. Now that one hates me too.

 

[Chromeo]

WTF dude you are ridiculous.

Ok I can justify spying on your girlfriend as a test before marriage. I mean do you guys watch all those annoying as sh!t freecreditreport.com commercials, especially the one where the guy gets married and lives in his parents basement cuz his girls credit was bad....


but christ guy, how long have you been with this girl, it sounds like its only been weeks. You are giving her way too much attention 3 hours on the phone? jesus.

sending her flowers? why? who died?
she thinks shes fat? dont tell her shes beautiful if you think shes got fat thighs! you dont need to tell a girl shes beautiful, you show her shes beautiful by giving her fvck eyes, pinching her azz and shoving your d!ck in her.

 

[Brighty]

C'mon. Girls cheat all the time. Even if you are good in the sack. And the OP's girl is out of state for 3 straight months. Remember every girl's excuse: "it just happened."

To the OP: many people will disagree, but I think you are being wise so long as you don't get obessed. If she makes it 3 months, trust the girl and stop the spying.

I would disagree. If you make her feel like no one else has before both physically and emotionally, you'd be surprised how loyal a girl can be to a man. Of course there are some circumstances where there are exceptions to this, but that's where the question "Are you a good judge of character" comes in - don't date hoe or someone you have a bad gut feeling about

 

[thewarrior]

Like I said, I don't get a bad feeling with this girl. I know what I'm doing is being obsessive, but she was over her parent's house this weekend taking practices tests (which my keylogger proved) and she drove an hour to a buffet (which she told me her parents took her without even me asking where she went today). So far, that's how it been. She tells me what she did today, or who she talked it and it all checks out. Her call records shows she's been talking with me 70% of the time. Other phone calls are less than 10 minutes (most 1-5 minutes) and none after 8pm. I verified these calls were to roommates, businesses, sister, etc.

It may seem like all day I'm bothered, but it takes 25 seconds to see where her phone is located on my computer or my phone. Status reports from her laptop is sent to my email so I can check that at my leisure.

I knew this girl was into me from the very beginning. We've been seeing each other for 3 months, and this internship was already planned before we even met (her emails confirm). This is a test on our relationship. I'm not going to be banging any girls, and so far I don't see her banging any dudes.

And sometimes when she calls, I cut her short to less than 10 minutes. But most of the time we do talk for a long time.

I'm more worried about something happening in July. This month, she's just getting to know everyone so nothing may happen. And August is the end of the internship and crunch time for her test, so I think she'll be too worried about that.

 

[1337]

damn.. I feel bad for her and I think you can get charges for privacy or some crap like that. Regardless if your spying on her or not if a true don juan comes around and games her shes gonna leave you and there's nothing you can do but watch her go away, then your gonna regret all this wasted time spying on her because of your insecurities and fear. Makes no difference in the end she will leave you.

 

[thewarrior]

damn.. I feel bad for her and I think you can get charges for privacy or some crap like that. Regardless if your spying on her or not if a true don juan comes around and games her shes gonna leave you and there's nothing you can do but watch her go away, then your gonna regret all this wasted time spying on her because of your insecurities and fear. Makes no difference in the end she will leave you.

But it will feel a little better if there are email exchanges or repeated phone calls as evidence and I can break up with her first.

 

[godofanxiety]

Thanks for this, I thought I was a psycho. For how long you two are together?

 

[Commandante]

Thanks for this, I thought I was a psycho.

Both of you are psychos.

 

[kyokon]

lol keyloggers huh. Well I found my ex doing the dirty with a couple of guys thanks to a keylogger - I was watching for about a month or so, but only after I caught wind of something fishy in my first look, and I only looked because of other things that didn't add up either.

But in your case I would think you have seen enough to put your mind at ease, you might wanna think about scaling your spying down, hmm..?

 

[todays_news]

the fact you:

installed a keylogger on her laptop...
track her movements via GPS...
view her e-mails...
view her call logs...
call her dialled numbers...

Suggests that you have deep insecurity and trust issues.

The fact that

this is a girl that I'd want to marry

....
having

been seeing each other for 3 months

also adds to this.

Fundamentally, your relationship is doomed because you've allowed yourself to become obsessed and give your heart to somebody you have met for three months. THREE MONTHS. The second is because, you have broken her trust and you will probably continue to. The third reason is because you are clearly a psycho.

Do this girl, and yourself a favour. And end it, and work on your confidence a LOT.

 

[godofanxiety]

Both of you are psychos.

Yeah, probably. Still, I've never went to these lengths.

Also, I missed that they are together for only three months. warrior, you know fvcking everything about her now and you haven't seen anything suspicious. Knock it off, man, before you drive yourself mad.

 

[Serg897]

OP, todays_news is right. This girl has become your obsession, someone that you spend almost every waking conscious moment thinking about, and this is why the relationship will almost certainly fail if you don't turn this around. Once you put this much emotional investment into a relationship it leads to a whole host of problems - jealousy, insecurity, lack of confidence, excessive attachment, etc.

This is besides the fact that you have severely crossed the line when it comes to respecting another persons privacy. Would you like someone to do that to you? There is absolutely no trust and it stinks of insecurity on your part.

If you don't change this, it will doom this relationship. I guarantee it.

Just out of curiosity - ever caught her looking at porn?

 

[Warrior74]

three months marriage... fail.

rule of thumb. if you have to spy, say goodbye.

Anytime I ever felt the urge to keep tabs on a girl..that was my gut telling me it was time to eject.