Have you guys ever given up

kk2004

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yeah...

The thing that gets me even more mad is that for certain reasons..I know that for me..being who I am...personality wise..my race/ethnicity, they become competition for me. I would actaully like to get to know them...If I had a chance but experince has taught me that most have a prejudice to those that look diffrent then them...fine.

Now why would I want to be their friend..I like intelectuall friends who are witty and smart and have value and substance to them. Its just that it happens to be that all the pretty girls that I see these men with makes me wonder... While I sit at home trying to work out...there having a house party somewhere..exclusive..with hot blondes ( i have a thing for them..hehe) that I know I wont be accpeted into or would be stupid to try so hard to look for acceptance becuase of who I am..personality wise and race/ethnicty wise...they tend to be exclusive..yet have all the hot girls..so I would like to still be in their social circle but I know its not happening.

I actaully dont live in the guido areas surprisingly its not like I have to compete with them..im actually far removed... its just that my ex gf does live in those areas. So she showed me how they lived their lives and the women they have... most of them have beautiful women... it tends to be the case no matter where I look though in blacks and asians and indians.. its just that I like blondes so thats where my attention goes.. Truth hard cold reality is that if your nobody them you'll be a nobody...attitudes and dj skill aside. You have to have some intrinsic value like gold or diamond does for a girl to be attracted to you..no matter where it comes from...then she will look past that and value you for you emotional or mental understanding and intelliegence.

You have to be built..you have to be ****y and funny..you have to have a nice car..you have to have great social skills and I guess you cant learn to be attractive..it will come as you get more and more things in your life.. You cant be not ****y when you have hot cars and rich parents and trophy gorgeous cheerleader women on your shoulder.

You can learn attractiveness to a certain level..but you need something..your overall value..its like an equation and the more you have of one thing the better your value..

Its like ... body/sports+car+social circle/popularity+coolness(how much people like you)+social skills/Dj skills=a mans value (In a woman eyes) its all bull**** when they say they dont go for looks.. of course they do...or they go for something... So you got to have something to offer other than a pulse and some c&f..even if your happy with you life as some dj principles suggest..they dont give a two sh*ts about that..it will attract them..yes.. but what they really want is "What can this guy do for me..or how can he make me feel happy..what does he have to offer"

The hotter the girl the bigger the demands....guys with cars and built bodies get girls even if they suck with skills bcuz they have something that not every guy has. Fake but I guess thats the way it is. Nobody cares about your sensitivity or your intelligence or your understanding of life.. Its about how much fun you can provide for them... Girls ultimately i feel think about themselves... its "me...me..me" There nice to you...so you will be nice to them and make them feel good. I guess its almost like saying there is no selfless act of kindness... women dont care about esp in the begining..but after a while the transition takes place where she starts to have concern for you too. Thats what I think.

Yes and your right that they do destroy their lives away..but I guess they dont relaize that they need to strike a balance.

Yes I know..its become messed up..but we must play by the rules and the rules arent written by us. I hate alot of things but the more I hate the harder it is for me to get what I want. Honestly I dont think men should have to go through all this bullsh*t to get women.. so much time and effort..but for those guys who are average like me or dont have value or what others value then its not going to work. With my last gf..I had to be cool enough to attract her and be cool enough to keep her and get her panties wet. Now I need to build a bigger social circle and become more popular and stronger and smarter and more dj like If I want to get the girsl I want, bcuz rigt now Im at home typing this with maybe three to four good friends. thats not going to get me girls or laid or even good looking girls who have value..

Step 1: get off this board and get some value.. this board should only be the part where you "up" the dj skills part... or learn something about the mental game and the words and talking and learn the diff techniques.

For me I need to see a shrink to help my Social Anxiety a*ss so I can overcome this stupid fear and actually meet more people of my caliber or value.. You cant learn to be cool or likeable...you just have to like yourself and i guess be cool... Dj skils are great but they cant teach you to be cool..you can know that a dj needs to feel like the prize and happy..but you have to go out and do things and experience things. You need to interact I guess. thats what Im missing badly. Getting off this board will help me focus my attention on my self to up my value and when the cold approach part or the phone number part comes then I can come here for advice, but I dought guys that once im built or I have a few more friends and a few more girls to talk to that I will have problems.

Goodbye sosuave.com.. I really dont think that I need to learn anymore c&f or tactics..I rather have to go out and just do things..no matter what it is to just go and do it. Social anxiety and the shrink are my first enemy.

thanks guys for all you effort and help..Ill refer back to here once in awhile..you guys do a great thing for us guys. Most of my posts are about growing up and maturing not picing up girls.. I can learn that better from books. I def read the bible and post once in while.
 
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ketostix

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Originally posted by Sazuki
Just one thing...

Do not go PAY a shrink for your 'social anxiety'! Social anxiety was coined by those scumbag pharmaceutical company's to fill a fake economic hole and their filthy pockets. It's the brainpill MATRIX.

How to overcome anxiety? You need knowledge about being social, know what works and what doesn't. And then you need ALOT of experience, hopefully good, but there will be many bad moments, especially in the beginning.

Some keys to social succes: Make other people FEEL good about themselfs, Be positive and optimistic, Storytelling, Humor, Listening skills, Know how to talk/disclose about yourself, Show genuine interest, Relaxed bodylanguage and good facial expressions, and a big one: SMILE alot. I'm still working on all of those.

No shrink is going to teach you that for some dough, and popping some pills certainly want do jack sh1t!

I don't know if this advice will totally work with those fruitcakes where you live, but good luck anyway.
I concur, good tips. KK2004, you're 19 and in college you need to just talk to people and girls. It's the only way you'll get any better at socializing.

While i believe social anxiety's real, I agree that shrinks and their pills, they're just wanting to make money. They don't know sh!t about how to get a social life and won't and can't tell you how. They're part of the same societal matrix that caused your problems in the first place. I mean even if you want to fix your inner-game using "psychology", there's plenty of self-help resources and techniques out there.

Whatever you do I just think you need force yourself to do field work.
 

wolfie

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Re: wolfie

Originally posted by kk2004
If you simply ask me to sarge or go talk to random girls where I dont feel comfortable, ill frezze up or Ill be scared stiff as a board. Like I said before that I have social anxiety and actually forcing yourself to go and make approaches makes it worse because you feel even worse while doing it let alone thinking about it.
If you have anxiety about sarging or approaching then get a wingman, either from MASF's PAIR or your local lair. They will quite easily push you into approaching, and after the first few approaches you will literally feel on top of the world. I'm not saying you won't feel anxious ever again, but that "I have done cold approaches for the first time" high is a FANTASTIC feeling.

I also used to have severe social anxiety (Staying in my room or house for weeks at a time, being unable to coherently speak to strangers) and still do sometimes. I also believe that I have Aspergers syndrome to some degree.
Yet I've still been doing hundreds of cold approaches for the last year and a half and this I believe is the one MAJOR thing that has helped my social anxiety. The only way to build social skills is not any inner game or self talk, but SOCIAL IMMERSION. Repeatedly expose yourself to social situations with different people, and you will adapt. I know I did.

I've built social circles, improved my fashion sense and looks, gone to the gym, and all of the other self improvement things that people espouse, but sarging and doing cold approaches is still the number one thing that has helped my social skills and ability to make a positive first impression with new people. Why? Because it goes beyond the normal "Improve your social life, do new things, go to the gym" activities that every tom **** and harry does. Cold approaches are something so unusual and beyond the normal scope of society that you literally begin to think in different ways once you've experienced enough of them.. and you will start looking at society in a different way.
Of course, there is also the obvious - if you have the ability to approach and meet a woman anywhere, then you are not restricted to meeting women through the traditional means, i.e work, school and friends.
 
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