Have you ever changed a girl's mind about liking you?

[betheman]

Nexting just after a first try = running away and protecting your fragile ego.

you had a date, it went nowhere, she (in code) told you it was now at an end, this is NEXT territory, go ahead keep trying, bash your head against the wall, chances are she is interested in some other guy and you are the safety net at best.

we wont be posting what you want to hear

 

[Fatal Jay]

You know when a girl likes you so if you have to change her mind or improve her liking you, then she is not interested and you should next. There is no such thing these days as a girl playing hard to get.

 

[floydb25]

You know when a girl likes you so if you have to change her mind or improve her liking you, then she is not interested and you should next. There is no such thing these days as a girl playing hard to get.

Agreed. Any time a girl DID play hard to get - it was because they were stuck up, spoiled, manipulative, and wanted all the control. That's why they got you to chase them, live up to their standards, let them do all the deciding, keep everyone under their whim while they play the field, etc. In addition to the harmless / victimized / good girl ploys to justify their devious ways - while appearing as victimized girls acting in self-defense, and making sure they don't get "hurt" again. . Ha. More like selfish *****es who only care about themselves... Same **** when they tried setting up FWBs - while acting innocent and genuine, and blaming the other party (ie, you).

But beyond the players, manipulators, bad girls, etc - they were always not interested, seeking other options, were already dating others... Best case scenario: they wanted a back-up, FWB, doormat / orbiter, rebound, someone to "settle" with while they search for greener pastures, etc. They never "came around", or treated me better, or viewed me as loyal and caring and awesome and different and better. Quite the opposite. And that's the nature of attraction and respect (hence why nice guys "finish last").

I think too many people assume the best out of others and their intentions; make them out to be bigger than they are; make up excuses for them (or believe theirs to be genuine); see only what they want to see (as it fits their ideal image of them); and basically storm in heart-first; act like a servant nice guy; and make a complete ass out of themselves - only to crash and burn, and realize that they were NO WHERE near as perfect and genuine as they made them out to be. Usually the exact opposite.

As well, that the only one stopping, waiting, pursuing, sympathizing with, and focusing on one person is YOU - even when they whine and complain about the same things happening to THEM (see: selfishness, hypocrisy, double standards, conceitedness, projection).

Damn infatuation, and getting caught up in the challenge.

 

[forgottenDreams]

Honestly guys who is stronger, someone who has no fear whatsoever to try as many times as he feels like or someone who just nexts everyone?
I think it takes way more courage and testosterone to do whatever your heart tells you to do than worry about the outcome. She can reject me again, and again, I don't care...and don't get my wrong, I'm always on the look out for more girls and I actually went out last night and hit on 6 at the SAME bar, 4 weren't interested, 1 I kissed right there, and 1 I got her number. Just go for it guys, who cares what the outcome is. The FUNNY part is the one I kissed was the prettiest of them all, the 4 that rejected me were really average or even below average.

 

[forgottenDreams]

...

 

[zinc4]

Hello guys,

My story short is I met a girl that I really liked, she sends me a message after our last date telling me she thinks we have different interests and lifestyle, she didn't conclude anything else and left it open. I told her it's two early to know, she replies:

"it's true, but I'm just afraid of leading you on. I don't want to give you the wrong idea to have you think I see this working out great when right now I'm skeptical"

My point is, I've dated many women in the past, the ones that are %100 not interested will make it clear and not even bother discussing back and forth.

I'm not talking about some random girl I just want to bang, if that was the case I would've moved on, I have done that in the past.

Please, to all the wise men here that still believe a true man should put an effort into a woman he really likes...how would you proceed with this?

I have gotten women to like me right away and I honestly don't feel pleasure when it comes too easy, I want to pursue this one, it's this that will make me really love her...I've never felt love or respect to all the ones I've had in the past, because none was a challenge really.

Thank you all.

Needing a challenge to love someone..that is not real love man..that is building up an infatuation which is clearly what you already have...the only time you should be persistent with a woman like tis is when you are completely detached from the outcome...yes it is very possible to change their initial thoughts and to even make them crazy about you...but only if they have some physical attraction to you in the first place...I'm not sure if your girl does or not,.but you are already infatuated with her so that is not good. My advice would be to mark her down as a rejection right now in your mind but to steadily pursue her for experimental purposes only IF you are strong enough to do that.

 

[JoeMarron]

Honestly guys who is stronger, someone who has no fear whatsoever to try as many times as he feels like or someone who just nexts everyone?
I think it takes way more courage and testosterone to do whatever your heart tells you to do than worry about the outcome. She can reject me again, and again, I don't care...and don't get my wrong, I'm always on the look out for more girls and I actually went out last night and hit on 6 at the SAME bar, 4 weren't interested, 1 I kissed right there, and 1 I got her number. Just go for it guys, who cares what the outcome is. The FUNNY part is the one I kissed was the prettiest of them all, the 4 that rejected me were really average or even below average.

I get it. It sucks wanting something that's out of your grasp but dude..stop trying to rationalize AFC behavior being a strong masculine thing to do. There's absolutely nothing courageous about bashing your head against a wall over and over again. Doing what your heart and emotions tell you instead of thinking rationally is just reckless. This is not outcome independence. This is you not liking the outcome and instead of accepting it and moving on you're starting a futile effort in trying to change it. This kind of persistence isn't attractive anyways. How would you feel about a girl you've clearly rejected over and over again still chasing you? In other areas of life such as your career never giving up is actually a good thing but it just doesn't work like that when it comes to women.

 

[forgottenDreams]

There's absolutely nothing courageous about bashing your head against a wall over and over again. Doing what your heart and emotions tell you instead of thinking rationally is just reckless. This is not outcome independence. This is you not liking the outcome and instead of accepting it and moving on you're starting a futile effort in trying to change it. This kind of persistence isn't attractive anyways. How would you feel about a girl you've clearly rejected over and over again still chasing you? In other areas of life such as your career never giving up is actually a good thing but it just doesn't work like that when it comes to women.

You clearly haven't read my posts properly. I did not say try over and over again. I said if you truly are interested in a girl then the least you can do it give it 2 tries.
You know what I think, I think the entire misunderstanding here is the fact that I only go after girls I'm truly interested in while everyone on here that is championing NEXTing just goes for ANY girl he sees.
I would definitely NEXT a random girl after first try, but I only go after the ones I'm really into, and what better or easier way can you show a girl that you are really interested in her other than at least giving it two shots? Read it well, TWO, JUST TWO.

 

[Trump]

Hello guys,

1) My story short is I met a girl that I really liked, she sends me a message after our last date telling me she thinks we have different interests and lifestyle, she didn't conclude anything else and left it open. I told her it's two early to know, she replies:

2) "it's true, but I'm just afraid of leading you on. I don't want to give you the wrong idea to have you think I see this working out great when right now I'm skeptical"

3) I'm not talking about some random girl I just want to bang, if that was the case I would've moved on, I have done that in the past.

4) I have gotten women to like me right away and I honestly don't feel pleasure when it comes too easy, I want to pursue this one, it's this that will make me really love her...I've never felt love or respect to all the ones I've had in the past, because none was a challenge really.

Thank you all.

1) Bro you shouldn't tell a girl "it's too early to know". When she says "you have different interests and lifestyle." you could have said "yes I know, you have to teach me xyz...." Whatever she says, use it against her

2) I would have said "Who said I'm not skeptical of this?" Well, that's unless you didn't attack her sexually during the date. I went out with a girl a few times and she said after we made out "I don't think we should have sex yet." I put her in her place.

3) bro how can bang a hot girl so fast and then be so confused about this girl who hasn't even touched you yet?

4) hmmm....you don't like it when girls like you too easily? That's a little hard to believe. Most guys on here would give anything to have girls like them, phone them, kiss them, have sex with them. I don't know bro, sounds like you are trying to convince yourself of something.

 

[forgottenDreams]

1) Bro you shouldn't tell a girl "it's too early to know". When she says "you have different interests and lifestyle." you could have said "yes I know, you have to teach me xyz...." Whatever she says, use it against her

2) I would have said "Who said I'm not skeptical of this?" Well, that's unless you didn't attack her sexually during the date. I went out with a girl a few times and she said after we made out "I don't think we should have sex yet." I put her in her place.

3) bro how can bang a hot girl so fast and then be so confused about this girl who hasn't even touched you yet?

4) hmmm....you don't like it when girls like you too easily? That's a little hard to believe. Most guys on here would give anything to have girls like them, phone them, kiss them, have sex with them. I don't know bro, sounds like you are trying to convince yourself of something.

I honestly wish I was as witty as you when it comes to point 1 and 2 above. I give you credit for that, you would've handled it much better than me I admit.

As for 3 and 4:
3) I slept with over 40 girls in the last say 24 months or so, some were pretty some were not. I like/liked many women, but only once in a while I come by a girl I feel that I more than like her, I hope you know what I mean.

4) I honestly don't like it when girls just put up easily, unless of course they are SUPER pretty then yes it would be great but I can't see a long lasting relationship with someone who puts up easily, I'm by no means a super human or anything so special, so if she does it to me, she most likely does it with everyone. I need to satisfy my need for sex so I'm not going to sit and wait for the right girl to come before I sleep with anyone, and therefore the 40 something girls I slept with. I can get a girl to sleep with if I put some effort into it, not trying to sound self conceited here but it's the truth, but I really want a girl that will not just do it easily, because then I know she is not going to do it with others as well.

I guess the difference here is that I'm looking for a good girl that I could keep for a long time and someone that I would be more than happy to invest my emotions and energy into her.

 

[FairShake]

All the time. I can be very unlikable at first glance. Know-it-all, condescending, insulting, awkward you name it I've been called it.

Underneath it all I'm a pretty good guy though and when they get to know me some girls who thought I was an azzhole were, later, showing me their azzhole (told you I was awkward).

One thing to remember is that they came to this conclusion not because I made it a point to show it to them but because they made it a point to realize it. It usually doesn't happen in such a story book way so don't make it a project. If it happens it happens but focus on other women.

 

[forgottenDreams]

All the time. I can be very unlikable at first glance. Know-it-all, condescending, insulting, awkward you name it I've been called it.

Underneath it all I'm a pretty good guy though and when they get to know me some girls who thought I was an azzhole were, later, showing me their azzhole (told you I was awkward).

One thing to remember is that they came to this conclusion not because I made it a point to show it to them but because they made it a point to realize it. It usually doesn't happen in such a story book way so don't make it a project. If it happens it happens but focus on other women.

I think you have a valid point here, we need more people like you on here, not just NEXT NEXT NEXT.

See, while I might not end up getting this woman that I want, I learnt that next time I simply show an interest level similar to hers, not more, so if she doesn't have any then I won't show any.

NEXTING at first hint is not a manly act. I swear I've banged many and got rejected by many more but none of the rejections moved me an inch from wanting what I want.

Thanks mate.

 

[ItsAllAboutMe]

Basically best thing to do is be like oh ok fair enough than continue to act like she didn't say anything, hold no hope onto getting anything but just do your thing and see what happens.

 

[forgottenDreams]

Basically best thing to do is be like oh ok fair enough than continue to act like she didn't say anything, hold no hope onto getting anything but just do your thing and see what happens.

This is would be the ideal solution but I must admit it's nearly impossible to do, even if you only have a tiny bit of feelings for the girl.

I will be disappointed for sure and maybe a little sad if she tells me again this is not going to work but I don't see a problem with that, it's natural to go through this if you want to eventually get a good girl worth a solid relationship.

 

[JoeMarron]

You clearly haven't read my posts properly. I did not say try over and over again. I said if you truly are interested in a girl then the least you can do it give it 2 tries.
You know what I think, I think the entire misunderstanding here is the fact that I only go after girls I'm truly interested in while everyone on here that is championing NEXTing just goes for ANY girl he sees.
I would definitely NEXT a random girl after first try, but I only go after the ones I'm really into, and what better or easier way can you show a girl that you are really interested in her other than at least giving it two shots? Read it well, TWO, JUST TWO.

Hah ok I got you. There was some misleading things in some of your posts though that set off my "wtf is this guy doing" alarms. I wont knock you for giving it one more shot for a chick you really like. I personally wouldnt bother if I got a clear rejection, at least not anytime soon. To each his own though.

 

[Harvey_Poon]

What some guys will go through just to get a woman

What more does this woman have to do to make you realize that she isn't interested in you? Beat you over the head with a club? I mean she told you in the nicest way possible, twice, without really hurting your feelings that the two of you are not a good match. She will not change her feelings towards you no matter what you try to say or do. She has already made up her mind and the more advances you make is just a waste of your time. The more you try to convince her, the more it will reaffirm in her mind that she doesn't like you. Then after you piss her off enough, she will tell you off and tell you how she really feels about you. Do you really want to hear all that? You heard it from her own words, you know it yourself, everybody that commented has told you this, including myself, that this woman is not interested in you. Why don't you move on and let it go? Why even bother to post if you refuse to take our advice? You're just going to keep pestering her until you find out the hard way. I wish these guys would put in more effort with girls that are interested in them instead of ones who are not. If you had more women available to you, then this wouldn't be an issue.

Next time, don't waste your time with women who have clearly told you that they don't like you.

I told her it's two early to know

A woman will know within the first ten minutes of meeting you if she will sleep with you or not. She will also take notice of you during the date to see if you are possible LTR material. She has already sized you up and she has made her decision about you.


She told you this

she thinks we have different interests and lifestyle

This is a polite way of telling you that she is not interested in you without hurting your feelings. You didn't like her answer so you continue to pursue her already.

She then comes back with

"it's true, but I'm just afraid of leading you on. I don't want to give you the wrong idea to have you think I see this working out great when right now I'm skeptical"

Once again, she is trying to let you down easy without hurting your feelings. This is the nicest way possible of telling you that you have no chance of ever being with her. But again, you don't listen to her and you want to convince her into liking you. This will never work out because she has no real feelings towards you. This is what she is trying to tell you in a very nice way. This is why you are wasting your time trying to prove yourself to her. The more you try, the more pathetic you look in her eyes. This is why you need to move on.

but I'm just afraid of leading you on

If she was into you she wouldn't be afraid of leading you on. There would be nothing to lead on if she was into you, because she would already like you. She doesn't like you so she doesn't want to you to think that she does. She has made that very clear.

I don't want to give you the wrong idea

She doesn't want to give you the wrong idea because she is not interested in you. She doesn't want you thinking that there is something between you two. How much more clear can she be? Does this sound like a woman who will like you in the future? No it doesn't.

to have you think I see this working out great

She doesn't see anything happening with you, because she has already made up her mind after she first met you. She doesn't see a future with you because she has already made up her mind that there won't be one. She doesn't want you to think that there will be a future. So why do you think you can convince her that there will be? She has told you that it's not going to happen. Listen to her.

when right now I'm skeptical

A girl that is interested in you will never be skeptical about you. She will already know what she wants right off the bat. And she knows that she sees nothing with you at all, that is why she is telling you this. But you refuse to listen to her and to us. So get ready to be ignored or told off if you continue to bother her.

She also knows that you are a guy that will keep pursuing her until she finally gets pissed off enough to tell you off. Don't let it come down to that or you will feel even worse. She was being honest and decent about telling you in a nice way. So listen to her words and move on. Otherwise, you are wasting your time trying to chase a chick who has already told you her true feelings. She has none. I am very wise. So listen to me and move on.


Harvey Poon

 

[floydb25]

Harvey:

I mean she told you in the nicest way possible, twice, without really hurting your feelings that the two of you are not a good match. She will not change her feelings towards you no matter what you try to say or do. She has already made up her mind and the more advances you make is just a waste of your time. The more you try to convince her, the more it will reaffirm in her mind that she doesn't like you. Then after you piss her off enough, she will tell you off and tell you how she really feels about you.

HA HA! This happened to me before. But, even after she acted like a complete and total annoyed / pissed off ***** who wanted me to jump off a cliff, and criticised me to **** - I pursued even harder, and tolerated all the abuse that came thereafter. What a dumbass. Low self esteem and approval-seeking FTL.

 

[Valentino14]

You clearly haven't read my posts properly. I did not say try over and over again. I said if you truly are interested in a girl then the least you can do it give it 2 tries.
You know what I think, I think the entire misunderstanding here is the fact that I only go after girls I'm truly interested in while everyone on here that is championing NEXTing just goes for ANY girl he sees.
I would definitely NEXT a random girl after first try, but I only go after the ones I'm really into, and what better or easier way can you show a girl that you are really interested in her other than at least giving it two shots? Read it well, TWO, JUST TWO.

But she isn't interested in you, that only works if she showed some interest.

I slept with over 40 girls in the last say 24 months or so, some were pretty some were not. I like/liked many women, but only once in a while I come by a girl I feel that I more than like her, I hope you know what I mean.

Do you honestly expect us to believe this? 5 would sound more realistic.

 

[forgottenDreams]

Do you honestly expect us to believe this? 5 would sound more realistic.

I don't care if you believe this or not, the number is probably higher I approximated because I lost count.
If you didn't have issues getting women yourself you would've asked "were they all quality women?" instead of questioning the number of how many I slept with.

Good luck to you.

 

[Larry Lurex]

It's a lot easier to change your own mind, no?