"Have a nice Fu*ck" disaster.

[flowtheory]

Sure you haven't fvcked a man in 9 months... lol. Why do they even bother trying to peddle this stuff?

Anyway, just go along with her and agree & amplify what she says.

Lol she did seem to be telling the truth. Was in a long term serious relationship 9 months ago. He asked to marry her when she was living in Scotland. She said no. They tried long distance. Didn’t work. It ended. Now she’s here. doesnt regard herself as parter material right now, so she just wants ‘rare physical connection’ which she doesn’t experience often.

 

[guru1000]

She’s testing me?
Why would she say that she doesn’t see us as compatible long term if thats her intention?
Her actions were her making out with me. I could have sexed her that night (she invited me up to her place and we were in her bed) but it honesty killed my sex drive when she had said she only wanted sex

Seems like you’re still listening to her words, rather than observing her actions.

If she were looking for an LTR and you didn’t meet her LTR needs, she would dismiss you, not keep you. (Hot) Women don’t need men just for sex: they have superfluous options in that department.

Which leaves (1) she isn’t looking for an LTR which means she wishes to stay with you; 2) or she is looking for an LTR and sees you with LTR potential which means she wishes to stay with you. Either way, her desire is there, and that is how you read the situation.

As to why she is testing you: She wants to see where you stand. Her motivation could derive from her being hurt before and doesn’t want to invest haphazardly or perhaps she is afraid of the feelings you prompt in her. Or she is gauging your feelings/investment to serve her.

Once you stop meeting a girls needs, it’s over. The end. There are no conditions ...

Don’t be the “Adam” in Adam and Eve. Give her a sly grin next time she tests and say “Sure.”

Add: these types are the ones that fall the hardest for you if you play the song and dance correctly.

 

[Spaz]

Girls text stuff like that to each other all the time. Remember, men are held to a higher standard by default. At least one of her girlfriends knows everything about you.

Don’t overplay it IMO. This isn’t a life defining incident. Despite her making it seem like it is. Her frame is saying...”I’m the center of the universe and you messed up”
There’s a game in this. It could be a fun one if you flip it to play instead of “I lost the girl”

Her walking out is a control play. She expects you to chase after her. It’s adorable. Embrace the silliness of it. Even if it was true that she is for sex, she’s acting like she’s never fukked a guy for sex. See the double standard?

Why did her mind...automatically jump to “He thinks I’m just a fuk”? She could have asked...”Ok, what was that about? Have you been talking about me?” Or most anything.

This isn’t about the text or even anything that happened last night. That would be very narrow thinking and typically male. She was waiting for something to give her juatification to spring girl stuff. Psychological warfare.

We think in terms of tactical maneuvering. She thinks in terms Strategic. Tactical is ground level action. Strategic thinking is the whole theatre of operations. It’s the long running victory. You can win a battle at the ground level and still strategically loose the war and be Mr. Cuck or “I worship you baby.”
She’s checking if you’re top shelf material or are a slave to your male mechanisms being used against you. Do you see it now?

Don’t get mad at her. Kiss her and fuk her again.

Exactly.

 

[Spaz]

A woman recently told me on the third date she doesn’t think we’d be compatible for the long term but has rare physical chemistry with me - hasnt been with anyone since her ex 9 months ago - and essentially just wants me for sex but still wants to continue to go on the dates we’ve had. (Wants her cake and to eat it too. Meaning she wants the great dates and the sex. Which to me is mixed signals)

@Ranger - what’s this? A giant strategy?

It sounds like a blessing, but I was kind of insulted because we actually have great chemistry in many avenues together.
I don’t know about you guys but I don’t just want to be looked at as Mr. Short term guy because I fit a physical bill

Buddy, in the game of the hearts, it's women that's predators.

Their primary weapon are their manipulation prowess.

They're so good at it until it's gotten men thinking they are chasing women...

Just don't be easily caught by the cat, she'll get bored if u r an easy catch.

 

[Ranger]

Buddy, in the game of the hearts, it's women that's predators.

Their primary weapon are their manipulation prowess.

They're so good at it until it's gotten men thinking they are chasing women...

Just don't be easily caught by the cat, she'll get bored if u r an easy catch.

Good post

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

What do you think I should do? (except doubling my tenant's rent for his stupidity,,, ) is there anything I can do at all?

Learn from these mistakes and don't do them again.

One mistake is blaming your tenant. Another mistake is assuming other people will behave the way you expect they should. Another mistake was leaving your phone in a position where she could read incoming texts. Another mistake might be talking to your tenant about your dates in a way where he would think it was appropriate to send you a text like that. Another mistake was your lack of a quick recovery. What COULD HAVE saved the event from disaster is something like this:

Yeah, sorry about that. My roommate has been struggling with dating for a while. So when he sees me going out with somebody like you he gets jealous and angry. I've tried talking to him about it but it's hard to make people see their own shortcomings. I"m sorry you had to see that. I shouldn't let him get away with talking about you like that, for that I apologize.

 

[devilkingx2]

I wouldn't say it's your fault someone else read your texts

Nor would I say it's your friend's fault for not knowing someone would read your texts

I would say the blame falls squarely on the girl who takes one out of context message and thinks she read both your minds lol.

Personally I'd be really turned off by this kind of drama wh0ring behavior where we gotta get into fights over nothing, but if i were you I'd give it a week before talking to her then just ignore it and move on, act like nothing happened and talk to her about last weeks episode of youf favorite show

 

[Who Dares Win]

Idk why you didn't immediately say "my roommate is SO rude, isn't he?" And just go that route?

Cause he is not trying to convince his girl that he is gay..."awww"

 

[lamath]

I wouldn't say it's your fault someone else read your texts

Nor would I say it's your friend's fault for not knowing someone would read your texts

I would say the blame falls squarely on the girl who takes one out of context message and thinks she read both your minds lol.

Personally I'd be really turned off by this kind of drama wh0ring behavior where we gotta get into fights over nothing, but if i were you I'd give it a week before talking to her then just ignore it and move on, act like nothing happened and talk to her about last weeks episode of youf favorite show

That Drama whoring is a red flag/power grab.
I wonder whats the best course of action dealing with this.
Show her its not an acceptable behavior and if there is a repeat performance in the near future its next her?

 

[Ranger]

That Drama whoring is a red flag/power grab.
I wonder whats the best course of action dealing with this.
Show her its not an acceptable behavior and if there is a repeat performance in the near future its next her?

I think it’s an opportunity for really dirty sex. But that’s just me.

 

[The Duke]

This unbelievable event happened to me yesterday night.
Went for a drink and some bite with a woman I already slept with a couple of times.
An hour into the date, I suddenly remembered I left the chicken curry, which I cooked earlier this day, to cool down bf putting it in the fridge. So I text my tenant ( who rent a room in my place, and which we are pretty close and open about our dates ) , and asked him to put the food in the fridge. He replied with " Sure no problem".
I put the phone down on the table, and after 30 sec' the phone turns on with another message from my tenant: "Have a nice Fu*ck". My date saw it, looked at me all white, as saying: " Is that all I'm for you? a Fu*ck" ? , took her stuff and left without saying a word.
I sat there a few minutes trying to digest what the fu*ck just happened now.

I went home. My tenant, who was sitting in the lounge room, looked at me surprised as saying: " What are you doing here? " . I showed him his message and said:
"She saw it". He went all white and didn't stop apologizing in the next 15 minutes.

Don't think this is the salvageable situation with this woman. What do you think I should do? (except doubling my tenant's rent for his stupidity,,, ) is there anything I can do at all?

Cheers

I've been busted in similar situations. The type of girls that get irate over something you have little control over are insecure and full of drama. Stick around long enough and you will see. As far as I'm concerned she showed how irrational and over reactive she is. I don't care to entertain these types anymore.

Just typical guy talk, tell the little hooker to chill out.

 

[The Diver]

An update, clarification, answers and my thoughts.
Sorry if it's too long, but a lot to learn here.

A bit background
I'm seeing this woman for a few weeks now. She is fun, dramas free, easy going, except me leading the interaction between us, many times insisting on paying for our dates, if its drinks, uber, foods, and the sex is great.
I have told her I'm not looking for a commitment or exclusive Relat' and I'm happy being with her while we are both enjoy the company of each other.


For those who said I should have said something on the spot and defused the situation. Well,I was so surprised after reading the message, that I left without words. it's all happened in a few sec'..
I think, although our connection is based on sex and a fun on the side, no woman wants to be told in her face that she is "only good for a fv*ck" , and I think that what lead to her reaction, and not b'cos of power struggling in our " Relationship" .

About the phone.
Well, I thought about it, and although it looks like a minor issue, it's actually not.
I operate translucently, I'm clear with my intention and I'm not lying, therefore I DGAF if a woman I'm dating read my texts, I have nothing to hide and I don't want to get paranoid about it.
As a result, this covert behaviour exhibit confidence and indifferent, which is part of me, it's who I am, it's the feeling of being comfortable in my own skin.
If a woman sneak peek and read my texts, and read something that offended her, it's on her. I won't change my habit b'cos of it. It's actually more than a habit, it's an inner feeling of a confident man.

About the girl
I called her yesterday, explain to her that I enjoying her company in the bed and outside the bed equally and that I have no control over what other people texting me, and I will understand if she'll decide to move on
She apologised for her behaviour and said she was really hurt and maybe she overreacted, and that I didn't do anything wrong.

I invited her over for the evening, for the Chicken Curry ( which was the cause of all this mess Lol) , and I believe all is back to normal, but I'll keep my eyes wide open from now on.


(Ow , and I told my tenant it wasn't his fault, and all is good with him as well)


Thanks for all your feedback. although it was a silly event I learned a lot out of it.

Cheers