Have a coffe date tonight... need some advice

[HardTimes]

If this chick doesn't end up flaking I got a coffee date later tonight and I really don't want to mess this up as she is good looking and its into a lot of things I am. It will be a short "date", maybe 30 mins or so over a cup of coffee and conversation should flow pretty naturally I would think but I don't want to show or do ANY afcness at all.

What kinds of things do I need to avoid and how do I keep her IL high after the date? Should I ask her for another date there or should I call her after the date and ask if she wants to do something? I don't want to make myself sound too interested but at the same time (if things go well) I want to make it obvious that I do want to see her again.

I'll do an FR update after.

 

[HardTimes]

Oops, also forgot to mention, I met this chick online and oddly enough she wanted to meet me and didn't even ask to see my pic (but gave me her myspace). All that I know about her is from emails and phone conv.

One thing that might be of concern however is that on her myspace she puts in her profile that she likes tall men. She is 5'7 and I'm 5'8 (but fit/muscular) so she definitely won't think I'm a tall man so there is a possibility of me being DOA.

 

[pjtheman]

just make sure you have your game together and don't act like to much of a ***** or a nice guy

 

[SickAgain]

Dude coffee dates suck. Go for coffee and if there's a real good vibe take her somewhere a little more exciting. Nothing is ever set in stone. And if things go real well take her home If not just tell her it was nice to meet her in person and have a good night. If you want to call her later you will.

And I wouldn't make an issue about your height. All girls like tall guys, that's life. Don't look for her validation, its just gonna mess with your head. If you have game I think you'll be fine.

PS Don't worry about messing things up, because if you think like that, you eventually will =) Just try to have a good time and vibe with her.

 

[zemaj]

HAHA, im in similar situation. Got set up on facebook with some girl via my friend. supposed to be going out thursday night for a drink etc... the girl is really hot, so I dont want to mess it up!!!

I would say dont ask for a date there and then! let her sleep on "hopefully" a good first date. and then call her up, and tell her you want to see her again etc!

 

[Soprano]

coffee date aah man brutal how boring is that, move her somewhere! go for a walk or something as soon as your cups are empty! NO REFILLS!!!!

 

[HardTimes]

Dude coffee dates suck. Go for coffee and if there's a real good vibe take her somewhere a little more exciting. Nothing is ever set in stone. And if things go real well take her home If not just tell her it was nice to meet her in person and have a good night. If you want to call her later you will.

And I wouldn't make an issue about your height. All girls like tall guys, that's life. Don't look for her validation, its just gonna mess with your head. If you have game I think you'll be fine.

PS Don't worry about messing things up, because if you think like that, you eventually will =) Just try to have a good time and vibe with her.

Shes the one that asked me out on the date and suggested coffee (since we are meeting late at night on a Tuesday). I didn't object because I actually prefer it and I don't really want to go out and drink on a Tuesday. It's just a way to talk face to face for a half an hour or so I don't think its such a bad idea.

Also, I'm not going to look for her validation in anyway, and I'm trying to be especially careful not to show any AFC or too much enthusiasm at all.

After we get finished talking and are about to part ways, do I ask if she wants to meet up another time? Or let her suggest it? Not say anything?

 

[HardTimes]

I'm really curious as to why so many people think coffee dates are a bad idea. It would be boring if we were going sit there and talk for like 5 hours, but I'm talking about 30 mins or so.

 

[zemaj]

dont worry about it man, its not boring. you are two people conversing with each other and getting to know each other! its all good! if you get the 2nd date, do something more interesting though!

 

[fertileTurtle]

Try to get her into a bar for some drinks. Then if possible somewhere y'all can makeout. At least try to get a kiss out of her and then another date. Try talking for about 45 min about whatever then try to get her moved somewhere else. Unless you can get her moved, don't spend too much time on the date and end it on a high note. Just be fun and bust her balls. Keep it fun. Good luck bro.

 

[Soprano]

I'm really curious as to why so many people think coffee dates are a bad idea. It would be boring if we were going sit there and talk for like 5 hours, but I'm talking about 30 mins or so.

dont worry about it man i wasnt tryin to psych you out haha im sure it wont be boring but i do definitely think a walk after a cup of coffee is a good idea

plus saying "hey lets get outta here and go for a walk" or go somewhere else you have in mind like ice cream or something is like the anti-AFC because you are taking charge and moving her

 

[drtk]

I'm really curious as to why so many people think coffee dates are a bad idea. It would be boring if we were going sit there and talk for like 5 hours, but I'm talking about 30 mins or so.

I'm at a loss too. Coffee dates are great in my experience, the conversation flows so easily.

 

[Goldstar]

Dont think "I dont want to mess it up" - if you think that you will behave in an awkward manner. Just relax. There are plenty of other girls. If you screw it up, no big deal. Dont try too hard to impress her. ****y/Funny/busting balls is good but dont over do it. Act normal, be effortless. If the date goes well and u want to see her again say i had a good time we should do this again sometime. Watch what she says. Call her again in a few days and setup the next date. Simple.

 

[jlr12584]

I dont usually tend to be a jerk, but in this case I will be. Personally i think all of you guys that said coffee dates are a bad idea are morons. Coffee is inexpensive and a great way to talk face to face without feeling like u have to fill the void with going to the movies or doing an activity. You want to intrigue the girl by letting her get to know something about you, you want to display VALUE. Why would she want to hang out with you again if every other guy that is interested will do the same activities. She will choose the guy with whom she feels some common interest and connection.

 

[fertileTurtle]

I'm at a loss too. Coffee dates are great in my experience, the conversation flows so easily.

And I LOVE coffees and danishes. LOL

I've heard it was too *safe* for her. Oh well.

 

[HardTimes]

plus saying "hey lets get outta here and go for a walk" or go somewhere else you have in mind like ice cream or something is like the anti-AFC because you are taking charge and moving her

That's actually a very good idea. I might try something like this if the conv went good and I'm feeling shes interested. Thanks.

 

[HardTimes]

There are plenty of other girls. If you screw it up, no big deal.

Yeah, thats the thing, the above statement isn't true in addition to me thinking I have a lot in common with this girl. Before this my last date was a few months ago.

 

[aomega54]

Take her on a coffee date in a bookshop. It's like a maze of props you can explore for hours.


AO

 

[King Turi]

Haha, she hasn't seen what you look like, but still wants to meet up?
She's a *****.

If you get anywhere with her, wear a condom, bro.

No idea how many internet hook ups she's had if she's willing to meet up without even knowing what you look like.

 

[scrouds]

I'm going to give you a good reason why coffee dates are a bad idea. In my AFC days it was all chat, no flirting and no kino. Coffee dates were an easy 2 hour ticket to the friendzone. Its easy to hit that friendzone chatting away in a coffeeshop.

Now if you treat it like any other date, add in some sexual vibes, work the kino, and I agree totally to venue change or take a walk, then you're good to go. If you treat them right, coffee dates are great, and cheap.

PS. always get the coffee in a to go cup. Feel free to walk around with it.