Has the PUA community sent me delusional?

[Flatnose]

Hi comrades.

Ok I'm 47, well toned satill have a 6 pack. 5'11. Ok looks. Well dressed, Good conversationalist Good job, full head of hair, hobbies are climbing potholing, playing guitar weight training etc. I've worked hard on body language, can approach ok. Often get glances and flirted heavily with.

Not getting laid though! :-(

In a real dry spell at the moment guys, I am beginning to think that banging anyone under 30 who turns me on is just an impossible dream and that I am deluded to believe it.

I guess I am seeking some objectivity about this, are my expectations unrealistic?

 

[betheman]

Hi comrades.

Ok I'm 47, well toned satill have a 6 pack. 5'11. Ok looks. Well dressed, Good conversationalist Good job, full head of hair, hobbies are climbing potholing, playing guitar weight training etc. I've worked hard on body language, can approach ok. Often get glances and flirted heavily with.

Not getting laid though! :-(

In a real dry spell at the moment guys, I am beginning to think that banging anyone under 30 who turns me on is just an impossible dream and that I am deluded to believe it.

I guess I am seeking some objectivity about this, are my expectations unrealistic?

if you are being flirted with and heavy, its up to you to escalate, be more sexually aggressive, the rest of the jigsaw is there.

 

[Flatnose]

Thanks, betheman.

When I do escalate they put the breaks on real fast. Perhaps I have just been unlucky but it is getting to the point where I think women just enjoy teasing me sexually but are resistant to going further!

 

[Mike32ct]

The more she talks about sex, the less likely she is to do it. Some women are all talk no action.

I haven't had a LOT of ONS', but with each one, not a word was said about sex beforehand.

As for the age range you can target, it depends on how old you look. A good body, decent height, and full hair are great assets. The rest would depend on your face.

Of course you can challenge women on their c@ckteasing...

Her: Sex sex sex. Blah blah I would do xyz with you.

You: yeah yeah yeah. I know your type

(Then let her know that you're not a chode who will jump when she yells p@ssy.)

Her: what type?

You: all talk and no action <grin>

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Are you fishing where the fish are?

When I read some guy use the term 'dry spell' it's usually due to one of two things: He's an AFC or a recovering AFC with only a tentative grasp of Game and is in the learning stages of applied Game, OR, he's got a Game, has a workable estimation of his SMV and knows how to demonstrate it (DHV), but due to logistics and/or his environment lacks the opportunities to effectively hook up as he'd like to.

From your description here I'm inclined to believe the latter. Even with marginal Game application a guy such as yourself could be expected to be reasonably attractive enough to generate interest in the right arena.

Maybe you need to change up your environment? Find a new venue to meet women?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Flatnose,
Something is wrong here.....Do you have an older Woman friend,someone you can talk with?.....I think your knowledge of Body language,which is so important in these matters,is fine in recognizing what the Ladies are thinking about you,but perhaps you are responding with the wrong signals....If Women are flirting with you,what is your response?positive or negative,or you didn't really try?.......recently I was talking with a clever Lady about a mutual friend....Out of the blue she asked me why I had never hooked up with this Woman some years ago, as at that time,our friend had the hots for me in a big way....I was flabbergasted,I tried so hard to hook this lady,but all my best efforts seemed to fall on stony ground...This Woman though attractive,a snappy dancer and easy to converse with,has been lonely for years...Maybe she has similar problems to you?

 

[Gro0ver]

Try salsa dance classes....loads of single women there of all ages, very natural to get into conversation with them. Great for sharpening up your game and there may be a few good ones about. Almost always more women then men at those things.

 

[Boilermaker]

47 - single is a bit too much for salsa classes isn't it ?

I'd expect a guy who is 47 years old should already have established a solid-circle of friends and acquaintances to generate play without trying so hard.

My dad is divorced, 57, professor of medicine making 500K a year, not even close to a six-pack body but every time I check his computer, I see the picture of a different chick sitting on the same couch. I don't think he ever gets out to find women per se. It just flows to him. I could never imagine him going to a bar by himself... He is usually surrounded by equal value/status people; and that probably increases the group's collective worth.

Maybe I am being juvenile but, to me 40-something year old showing up in a salsa club by himself is slightly creepy.

 

[flashpoint]

thank god at 47 you dont give as much about what people might or might not think. and in case for some reason you havent managed to build this circle you are talking about, it is never to late to start that. preferable in areas that you like or are interested in. cant see anything wrong with that.

 

[evan12]

in non feminism countries 47 could marry young girls ,because it is about resources you have not the age you are , the man is not his youth he is in his status and abilities , but in feminism countries it seem women very care about the age of man , some of them think a man must be just a couple of years older

 

[Gro0ver]

47 - single is a bit too much for salsa classes isn't it ?

I'd expect a guy who is 47 years old should already have established a solid-circle of friends and acquaintances to generate play without trying so hard.

My dad is divorced, 57, professor of medicine making 500K a year, not even close to a six-pack body but every time I check his computer, I see the picture of a different chick sitting on the same couch. I don't think he ever gets out to find women per se. It just flows to him. I could never imagine him going to a bar by himself... He is usually surrounded by equal value/status people; and that probably increases the group's collective worth.

Maybe I am being juvenile but, to me 40-something year old showing up in a salsa club by himself is slightly creepy.

I see dudes of all ages there. There's even 70 year old bloke who just ignores the moves and dances how he wants, the ladies love him but obviously not in a sexual way.

I don't see how it's creepy any more then a 40's woman going there which there are plenty of.

 

[Flatnose]

Thanks Guys...I think some changes of venues are necessary. I have a good collection of friends but none have any game hence no wing. On another note Rollo, your Rationale Male post is pure gold. and has helped me greatly, as have many of the posters on SS. I am freshly unplugged and incredibly angry at some of the stuff I was taught while younger. No sex before marriage etc. Yep, I am in recovery and been working on my inner game for a while now just could do with seeing some results.

 

[Die Hard]

Following salsa classes at 47 is not weird at all. Neither is going to salsa parties at that age. The salsa scene is different from the "Go clubbing at Saturday Night scene", it really contains all kinds of people from all kinds of ages. When following classes or going to parties, the age often ranges from 20 year olds to 60 years olds.
Hell, in my town there's even one venue where ALL the people are between 40 and 60 years old!!
Oh and let me point out that the two guys on SoSuave who basically inspired me to pick up salsa, were Scaramouche and Jophil28. Two guys who are both older than 50...

On top of this, I cannot stress how beneficial salsa is for your game and your LIFE. Getting into salsa is probably the single most important decision I've made with regard to becoming a Don Juan!!



Anyway, Flatnose... Have you been having this "problem" all your life or were things different in your younger years? If it's been a problem all your life, then it obviously has nothing to do with your age...

 

[Flatnose]

Die Hard....

I was the ultimate omega...had a really rough childhood which ended up in drug addiction...and hospitilisation for depression when I was 17. Pulled out of that at the age of 23 when I became involved in the church... was then programmed into believing my sex drive was bad and I married a goodlooking god fearing woman with a penchant for frigidity. No sex before marriage and sex after marriage wasn't great. Divorced now but with two lovely kids. :-(. I had a number of short term girlfriends before I met my wife but my twenties were alas a time of aesthetiscm. I thought I would go to hell if I had sex. Discovered game about two years ago, unplugged proper, thanks to Rollo about a year ago. Oh, and no, I haven't had any mental health issues since my early years. I have matured into a very active upbeat guy. I think I do have a tendency to be too slow or have some kinda pattern blindness as when a woman wants me to escalate. By the time I realise it she probably has lost interest. This is a real sticking point for me. So annoying to be unplugged in your 40's!

 

[Zarky]

OP, hit on more chicks, it's a numbers game buddy. Dozens, hundreds even. No matter how awesome you are, 98% of women just aren't interested.

A guy who is 5'7 and scrawny and dumb but who hits on 40 women a month will get more play than a guy who's 6'2, handsome and smart but who only hits on 4 women a month.

 

[Die Hard]

Flatnose, from what you just told us, it's obvious that your inner game has always been lacking. You say you've been unplugged only two years ago!

So your problem clearly has nothing to do with your age! You not getting laid, has been a problem for the most part of your life, right? So don't start imagining things that aren't there, like this sh!t:

I am beginning to think that banging anyone under 30 who turns me on is just an impossible dream and that I am deluded to believe it.

I guess I am seeking some objectivity about this, are my expectations unrealistic?

Why are you even bringing the age factor into it? Why do yo think banging chicks below 30 might be an unrealistic expectation? I think you are not banging any chicks ABOVE 30 either, right? So it has nothing to do with age, you are not banging ANY chicks (correct me if I'm wrong?).

So stop deluding yourself. It seems as if you are just looking for an excuse to GIVE UP. Like: "Ah forget about it... I'm simply too old to bang hot chicks and there's nothing I can do about my age so I should just give up on everything and accept my miserable fate..."

Your age is not your problem. Your problem is your inner game. And luckily for you, someone's inner game can be changed, as opposed to someone's age.

You just gotta persist, don't give up. Girls flirting heavily with you means you're only one step away from succes. You just need to make that final step!

 

[Flatnose]

Thanks DieHard...Just what I needed....right. Ram On!

 

[synergy1]

Dry spells happen to the best of us. Sometimes things just don't work out. Dates aren't that good, work has you coming in 7 days a week, you name it. I find that being in a 'funk' is like a downward spiral, you keep reinforcing your beliefs with negative thoughts which manifest themselves into sub par interactions. When you based your success on said interactions, it continues to bring your mood down even more.

How do I break it? Earlier this year I was in somewhat of a dry spell myself. While i was dating and having sex from time to time, it felt infrequent and somewhat spurious. Than sometime in may, I stopped caring about how much of a dry spell I was in. It didn't matter. I made an effort to hang out with friends who were fun to hang out with and made sure THAT was the priority. After that, it seemed much easier to talk to women - even if I wasn't really (but sort of) trying to pick them up. In short it didn't matter how the interactions with women went.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear DieHard,
"Oh and let me point out that the two guys on SoSuave who basically inspired me to pick up salsa, were Scaramouche and Jophil28. Two guys who are both older than 50..."......That has made my day.....There are two distinct types of guys here....Process people and product people...No guy who is a snappy Dancer is without a Woman or three!....And as you have discovered after a few tough months you are there....If you are not naturally gifted as a Dancer then maybe a couple of private lessons a week at say $30 a time and you will overcome your log jams in say three months....Like Jophil I have learnt most dance styles...For Pulling Chicky babes Argentine Tango is the Go....It is not as easy as Salsa,but it attracts,middle class,lonely Women...They will always outnumber the Guys....Like Freemasonry and lawn bowls,you can go anywhere in the World,and instantly break into the Social scene,you will never be lonely again!

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Flatnose, take your time. You can't be banging the 20's unless you are successfully banging the 30's. You can't successfully bang the 30's until you are comfortable banging the 40's.

Just don't get stuck in any age bracket. Keep working your way down until you find your groove, e.g. acceptable intellect, social skills, physique, etc.

Learning these skills is a long and complicated process, like learning any new skill. Ideally, you'll always be learning and improving.

If you try to swing for the fence after you've just only learned to hold a bat, you'll strike out a lot.

Bunt first, then hit some grounders, then a few base hits, then some extra bases, and then start swinging for that 22 y/o puzzy.

Remember what Satchel Page (arguably the greatest pitcher that ever lived) said about age:

Age is mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter.

Also, you might want to give Anti-Dump a read.